John Box's Blog - Posts Tagged "jailed-in-japan"
Busted in Japan, An Actual Tale of Learning to Bow
Taxi cabs are the scourge of the earth. No matter where in the world you go, the one thing that you can count on is that taxi cabs there will be assholes. They are constantly cutting other cars off, taking advantage of tourists, and eagerly awaiting opportunities to clip pedestrians.
Which is why when my wits returned to me in the middle of a bender and I found myself surrounded by Omawari-san (Japanese cops; but not so much your John McClane-type cops, more like your Barney Fife-type cops) claiming that I had wronged a taxi cab, I was 100% sure that I was in the right.
(Pictures of Omawari-san etc. can be seen via below link.)
Accused of malicious destruction of property (so now we can add false accusations to the list of reasons why cabbies suck), I could do nothing but protest.
“I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“You did. You need to apologize.”
“But I didn’t do anything wrong,” I persisted as the crowd of Omawari-san grew to double digits, adding fuel to my righteous fire.
Why am I being persecuted like this? I thought to myself in astonishment. Why is everyone out to get me when “I didn’t do anything wrong!”
Despite my pleas and obvious innocence, their patience thinned as the dispute wore on and before long I was met with nothing but harsh looks of disapproval and disgust.
Feeling like a cornered rat, I had no option but to lash out as rats are wont to do (i.e. hurling spot-on insults at one's assailants in the hope of wounding their pride and receiving profuse apologies for their hassling of the people's champ).
“You owl-eyed, shit-breathed troll!” I howled at the owl-eyed, shit-breathed Omawari-san.
Before anyone could respond, I turned to the next cop, doled out his comeuppance, and then proceeded to shower each one in turn with individually tailored abuse making sure to call the female cop both fat and ugly.
Continued at: Great White Host Blog: Busted in Japan
Which is why when my wits returned to me in the middle of a bender and I found myself surrounded by Omawari-san (Japanese cops; but not so much your John McClane-type cops, more like your Barney Fife-type cops) claiming that I had wronged a taxi cab, I was 100% sure that I was in the right.
(Pictures of Omawari-san etc. can be seen via below link.)
Accused of malicious destruction of property (so now we can add false accusations to the list of reasons why cabbies suck), I could do nothing but protest.
“I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“You did. You need to apologize.”
“But I didn’t do anything wrong,” I persisted as the crowd of Omawari-san grew to double digits, adding fuel to my righteous fire.
Why am I being persecuted like this? I thought to myself in astonishment. Why is everyone out to get me when “I didn’t do anything wrong!”
Despite my pleas and obvious innocence, their patience thinned as the dispute wore on and before long I was met with nothing but harsh looks of disapproval and disgust.
Feeling like a cornered rat, I had no option but to lash out as rats are wont to do (i.e. hurling spot-on insults at one's assailants in the hope of wounding their pride and receiving profuse apologies for their hassling of the people's champ).
“You owl-eyed, shit-breathed troll!” I howled at the owl-eyed, shit-breathed Omawari-san.
Before anyone could respond, I turned to the next cop, doled out his comeuppance, and then proceeded to shower each one in turn with individually tailored abuse making sure to call the female cop both fat and ugly.
Continued at: Great White Host Blog: Busted in Japan
