Lizzi Stone

“You did have a lot of footballs," I remarked, my expression deadpan.
When she realized what I was implying, I had to duck to the side to avoid being socked on the arm.
"I'll leave Ruler of Balls to one of you guys," she said dryly.
I chuckled. "But Queen of Balls has such a ring to it."
"Ding dong," she said sarcastically.
"Okay," I said. "Queen of Ding dongs—"
"No," she cut me off. She was laughing so hard now, tears ran down her cheeks. She dabbed at her running mascara and laughed harder still.”
― Lizzi Stone, Sacked

“I'm sorry if my love life is such a hassle for you," I said, half sour, half joking.
"I forgive you." He patted my shoulder. "Save the angst for the field."
"You want me to cry in the middle of a game?" I asked.
He rubbed his chin as though seriously considering it. "That's an interesting tactic. I wonder if it would work."
"It would be a great way of getting a new nickname," I said dryly. "Howling Hawk."
"Crybaby Conrad," Bam said helpfully.
"I think I'll stick to playing the game like usual," I said. "I'll save my angst for the bottom of a bottle of beer. Or two.”
― Lizzi Stone, Fumbled