Becky Robison's Blog

Ever heard of a preorder campaign? Publishers often suggest you offer a freebie of some kind to incentivize people to preorder your book—especially when pub day is getting close.

My Parents Are Dead: What Now? A Panic-Free Guide to the Practicalities of Death is coming out on January 6, 2026. That’s only six weeks!

So what’s the freebie, you ask? An original funeral planning game by yours truly.

That’s right. I said “funeral planning game.”

Your fictional father has been killed in a tragic badminton accident. Through a series of dice rolls, it’s now up to you to arrange his last hurrah without exceeding your budget.

It’s fun. I promise.

Details here.

Recently I appeared on the Dying to Know More podcast! Ashley and I chatted about estate law, ghost cars, death acceptance, the worst day of my life, and more. I realize that may sound boring or sad (minus the ghost car thing, which probably just sounds weird), but it was a blast. Check it out!

Big news, folks. My Parents Are Dead: What Now? A Panic-Free Guide to the Practicalities of Death received A STARRED REVIEW in the Library Journal! What an honor! 🌟

Here’s what the country’s largest library trade publication has to say about my book:

“A valuable resource to be consulted both before and after the death of a loved one.”

I agree!

Enormously grateful to Library Journal for the kind words, and to librarians everywhere. Librarians are the coolest people ever, and many of them have supported my work from the very beginning. That they enjoy my book means the world to me.

Obligatory reminder to preorder, if you haven’t already. :)

The Columbarium is a free, weekly newsletter where the history of death and dying meets practical advice about the same. Enjoy this issue from the archive—and if you like it, consider signing up!

Apart from Halloween decorations, have you ever seen R.I.P. written on a gravestone? You might have seen the full phrase rest in peace, or even the Latin requiescat in pace. But the abbreviation? I haven’t.

The strangeness of this never occurred to me until I was on a cemetery tour organized by the Louisville Free Public Library. (Libraries rule.) R.I.P. is a crucial element of the headstones we picture in our minds, but it’s difficult to find in real life.

Where did R.I.P. come from? Where did it go? [Insert obligatory “Cotton Eye Joe” joke here for the 90s kids.]

The Roman Catholic church can take credit for this one. The Latin version, requiescat in pace, literally means “may he begin to rest in peace,” and it began popping up on early Christian tombs in the 8th century. It wasn’t meant to be a simple epitaph, but rather a prayer. In fact, the phrase still often appears in Catholic Requiem Masses. 

As the Catholic church spread, so did requiescat in pace, which was eventually shortened to R.I.P.—a heck of a lot easier to carve. The Protestant Reformation didn’t stop its popularity. Instead, the various Christian denominations adopted R.I.P. for their own graves. 

By the 18th century, it was ubiquitous. And when R.I.P. came over to England, they made it easier to say by translating it into their own language—rest in peace. 

It’s easy to find the origins of the phrase, but as for why R.I.P. lives on in social media posts and not on gravestones? That’s harder to determine. 

Some think it has to do with the secularization of the phrase. As R.I.P. became associated with the physical body rather than the soul, it became a cliché—and no one wants their eternal resting place to be old hat. Trends come and go, even in the cemetery. 

Plus, monument makers no longer have to carve by hand, so abbreviations aren’t necessary. They can laser cut a whole book on there if that’s your style.

What do you want on your tombstone? (Again, for the 90s kids. Tombstone pizza commercials? Anyone?) Whether it’s R.I.P. or something else entirely, you have options. Monument companies typically offer dozens of designs; here’s an example. 

Remember, the cost of a headstone is separate from the cost of a cemetery plot, which is separate from the cost of the casket, which is separate from the cost of preparing the body. It’s a lot to think about. More to consider here. 

Sources: Lee’s Summit Tribune, ThoughtCo, Funeral Help Center

Have you ever heard of Maranasati? It’s the Buddhist practice of keeping death at the front of your mind. I’ve always wanted to do an event based on this idea—but I’m neither a Buddhist, nor a meditation expert.

Fortunately, I do know an expert! On November 8, I’m collaborating with trauma-informed meditation teacher Leah Raidt for a death meditation and living funeral ritual at Louisville’s Passionist Earth & Spirit Center. Leah will cover the meditation, and I’ll lead the shrouding/living funeral portion of the workshop.

Registration fees are sliding scale. Join us!

You read that correctly. Somehow I’ve been writing my death & dying history newsletter for one whole year. Time flies when you’re having a constant existential crisis, I guess.

Even stranger? Hundreds of you have subscribed. THANK YOU for reading! I could just blather words into the void, but it’s much more fun to have an audience. You’re the best.

If you enjoy The Columbarium, tell a friend. If you haven’t read it yet, consider subscribing. It’s free!

Have you ever considered attending a 3-day online death & dying festival that goes 24/7 so international presenters can speak in their local time zones?

If so, I have some good news for you. Lifting the Lid: International Festival of Death and Dying takes place from November 14-16 this year. Even better: I AM PRESENTING!

Catch my talk “Bureaucracy from Beyond the Grave: Guiding the Living Through the Paperwork of the Deceased” at 8:15am ET on November 15. (Told you it was 24/7.)

Tickets are a suggested donation of £20, but they have pay-what-you-can options as well! Your ticket allows you to watch any and all talks for the entire weekend. Grab yours now.

The Columbarium is a free, weekly newsletter where the history of death and dying meets practical advice about the same. Enjoy this issue from the archive—and if you like it, consider signing up!

Back in college, I won a scholarship to spend my junior year abroad in Rome and Beijing. I am—as this newsletter should make abundantly clear—a huge nerd, and my scholarship research project involved Chairman Mao’s political advisors. So one day in Beijing, I woke up early and headed to Tiananmen Square, where I joined the lengthy queue to see Mao Zedong’s preserved body.

It was quick—they shuffle people in and out, no time to stop and study the corpse, which is behind glass and set back aways. In fact, they shuffle people right into a gift shop. Doesn’t seem particularly communist, but what do I know? 

I wanted to write about the preserved bodies of famous people in general, but as it turns out, most of the preserved bodies out there are those of notorious dictators. There’s philosopher Jeremy Bentham. There are ancient mummies, of course, and some prehistoric friends like the Tollund Man. A bevy of Catholic saints. 

Mostly dictators, though.

If you have time, you should read the fascinating Communist Mummies article on Wikipedia. Here are  a few highlights:

Russia’s Vladimir Lenin—the preserved dictator who started it all. The lab that figured out how to perform this type of long-term preservation, known as “the Mausoleum group,” still exists today! They continue to care for Lenin’s body as well as that of Ho Chi Minh and the Kims of North Korea, but they also do other medical research. Lenin’s body is re-embalmed every other year, and  he receives a new set of clothes every three years. 

Calling all musical theater nerds: Eva Peron, a.k.a. Evita, wife of Argentine leader Juan Peron, was preserved and kept at the headquarters of a Peronist trade union. Then her body was stolen by rival military officers in 1955. The corpse spent its days in a van, a cinema, the Buenos Aires waterworks, and the Office of Military Intelligence. In 1957, the Vatican helped fly her body to Milan and bury it under a pseudonym. In 1971, she was disinterred and driven to Madrid, where Juan Peron was living with his new wife. Peron retook power in Argentina in 1973 and almost immediately died, after which Eva’s body was returned to the country, restored, and displayed beside her husband. After another military coup in 1976, she was placed in her family mausoleum, where it remains to this day. What a journey! 

In 2013, Venezuela tried to preserve and display the body of Hugo Chávez, but the decision was made too late for the embalming process to work properly. You have to be on the ball with these things! 

In case you were wondering: the embalming process your loved ones would undergo at a funeral home is nowhere near this extreme. And yet, I’m not sure people understand how invasive an embalming procedure can be. Check out this Caitlin Doughty video if you want to learn more. And of course, you can find additional body logistics on the dead parents site. 

Sources: NPR , BBC News , PBS

Not anymore. 😎

This 27-page printable PDF workbook will help you answer all the questions you need to consider before heading to the lawyer’s office to make your official last will & testament—sparing you precious billable hours, not to mention the legal jargon. Making plans in advance to take care of your loved ones after you’ve kicked the bucket? Now that’s cool.

I’m not a lawyer, and this workbook doesn’t count as a will. But it’ll make you a lot more confident walking into a lawyer’s office. Grab a copy today.

The title of this blog post is one of my favorite Metric songs. It has very little to do with the content of this blog post, which is about my adventures in the Netherlands to attend the 17th Death, Dying, and Disposal Conference! Specifically, my project to build a better sympathy card with the attendees.

After all, what better place than an academic conference full of death and dying experts to challenge the tired clichés of the drugstore card aisle? In deepest sympathy. Forever in our hearts. There are no words.

Utterly ridiculous, that last one. Last time I checked, the whole point of sending a greeting card is to use your words.

Unsurprisingly, the DDD17 conference attendees did manage to find words—and drawings, and prompts, and stickers. And now you can download their cards FOR FREE on this very website.

After the conference, I spent a few days in Amsterdam with my cousins, where I managed to create digital versions of the cards while the boys were at school. It was a surprisingly soothing task. And I even managed to drag my cousin Erin to Museum Tot Zover while I was there! Glad she wanted to learn about global death rituals with me.

I had a great time. Given the current state of the U.S., I wish I were still there. But at least I got to come home to my dog.