Clementine Julep's Blog

I like Rosé’s song a lot. I gave it a try here. Hope you would like it.

Love and thanks so much

I don’t want a man who never asks me out

I don’t want a man who is scared to be introduced to my parents

I don’t want a man who is intimated by my family

I want a man who introduces himself to my parents and let them know that I am his

I want a man who is ready in action as much as words to marry me

A home, an income, a family in the future, all responsibilities …

*It’s not supposed to be called a poem

Love you all Merci beaucoup

#demotivated

I feel so emotional this evening.

Everything, everyone says is hurting me so deep and quick today. The feeling made me cry . I realised how much stronger I had grown up to be all these four years into blogging.

I never took anyone’s tone personally. I always could maintained my upbeat mood. It all was unconsciously done.

Though today, I felt so sensitive. Out of nowhere, the strong, protective, nurturing wall around me was breached for a brief period of time.

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to distract myself by watching YouTube or reading novel.

My mind felt so clouded with panicky thoughts. I didn’t know,  I had this kind of fragile side in me.

I tried speaking to my sister, my game friends. The feeling started to recede away. But soon after, my mom corrected me on something with a sharp tone, tears started falling from my eyes.

While I am writing this blog, especially the previous sentence made me cry again.

I saw ‘your name’ anime movie again just now. I never see a movie for the second time but I did for this one.

The thing that showed me a direction, a sign was my Instagram feed.

I felt finally free from all the soul crushing feeling in me subside and replaced with hope. The wall is still healing.

I made this previous image my lock screen.

The image below is my home screen. A look reminding the why of my dream and the dream in itself.

Ok dears. I love you so much.

Thank you

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#manifestation

Yesterday, I saw a youtube video describing what to expect from entering the first year residency by a professor.

Then, I read the comments. There were a few from students who were joining the residency. That was an aha moment!

How does it feel to join ? I could feel that emotion which is crucial for manifestation. Before this, I couldn’t feel the correct, the right emotion but now I could !

Lets see where it takes me…

Thanks and Loves

After quite a break, I attempted a few mcqs today. It again came up with the same correct percentage as before.

I just left studying for an hour and started browsing the internet. I realised very clearly that I am being very sensitive to these results and getting demotivated easily.

I realised I just have to face the problem, the demotivating part squarely. Go through these questions, the ones that are hurting my ego very badly, which are many.[image error]

Thanks so much for letting me be me

It’s wonderful to have friends from different countries

After the recent plane crash in India, I had at least two people from two different countries ask about my well being one on one. I feel so touched [image error]

Yeah, I am safe.

The friends from my place know I wasn’t near the location. So, they didn’t worry.

Thanks so much. Love you. I feel so touched . Thanks so much again

I had this thought about self esteem and self assurance. Actually, a romantically connected one!

After writing this blog, I felt it is not the right way for self assurance because it depends on external validation. But at the same time, there are times in life when these small things act as catalysts for self development. Still, I must say it is a fictional grey area.

The possibility is slim but let us say I find a guy I like so much. He ticks all the boxes that I had written and even the unwritten ones I would love.

Obviously, I don’t like to date for any longer than a few days. So, I would want to introduce this guy to my parents. If he is the one, he wouldn’t hesitate, you know.

But before that I would stutter it to my sister. And boy, she is nothing less than a brother who would not approve of anyone except considering that she being a sister and not a brother she may approve of a prince

If she wouldn’t approve, the bets on my own approval would become abysmal and we would break up. She is a reliant person on taking advice. It sounds bad as I am the one who is marrying but it matters. Because if she approves of him for her dear sister that is me, then he is really something.

Then, I guess my parents approval is a given. As my sister thinks so much like them. And the marriage will take place.

It will be a rare occasion when everyone agrees together. It would feel so good when all are happy.

It is not just my sister’s approval you see. It is also about the unsaid fears, unsaid red flags I would have been unconsciously avoiding. So, once my sister disapproves, all these come to the surface and I would see him in a different light which won’t work out. That is why I won’t go ahead.

Also, the point is my sister and parents have been my prime guide, mentor apart from being a family. And their assessment of a person is quite great.

I don’t know how you guys connect to it. But for me, it is a big thing. As I still feel like a child. I didn’t even start working. technically that is the truth.

So, me finding a guy who actually is a great match is an absolute indication of me knowing my mind and I am being able to make my own decisions which are good for me. I can rely on my own decisions which give stability to my life.

I would feel like I am time and time again making the right choices.

Of course, we make mistakes and learn from them becoming a good decision maker as we go ahead. It is just like the first experiences when you choose the right decision of the many choices available. The joy and happiness for that moment

Slim chances. But hope is always there

Thanks so much! Love u

I hope you have a beautiful Eid celebrations!

The exam has been postponed to august 3rd.

I am doing what I can do with a cheerful mindset.

Sometimes I feel very anxious. So, I keep listening to music of different genres.

Love you guys . Hopefully, I get through this and come out beautifully. Insha Allah