Sam Jolman's Blog

While walking out of our local grocery store awhile back, I ran into a neighbor. I gave him the customary wave and head tip, but it was clear he wanted to talk. I pulled my cart over and we chatted awhile, but I kept wondering if he had something else he wanted to talk about. “Hey, I just got all my moose meat back from my hunt this fall. Ever had a moose steak? You’ve gotta come try one.” He sweetened the deal (back before I gave up alcohol) by offering me some rare fandangled beer. I thought h...

Friends,

Let’s be clear: sexual abuse takes immense courage to talk about. That may sound like a counselor one liner. Cute language but over baked. But I would say you misunderstand the cost of vulnerability. In the words of Brene Brown, “Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” She’s describing the risk of the unknown. When we get vu…

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I live in a suburb called Rockrimmon, which sounds so innocent. That name—sorta rocky mountain vibes meets Lord of the Rings—always left me proud and grateful to the city planners of old. And then one day while reading the book of Judges, I found its origin. And it annihilated any affection I’ve held for it.

The last three chapters of Judges make up one long story, which begins and ends with “In those days, Israel had no king” with the final word “Each did as he saw fit.” The story goes that a ma...

Good people,

My family and I spent yesterday “beauty soaking” in the mountains taking in the gold rush of aspen leaves here in Colorado. They come and go so fast. But man, that immersive beauty reminded me God is so committed to our pleasure in this world.

I wrote this article at the direct request of many of you—some dads wanting guidance with sons and …

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“‘Everything is permissible,’ but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible,’ but not everything builds up.” 1 Corinthians 10:23 CSB

“Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right.” Romans 14:22 NLT

Ben heard the knock on his bedroom door and opened it to see his father, the man who never came up to his room. And his dad looked angry. “You need to stop masturbating. We can’t keep wasting water washing all these sheets,” he said. The blood dra...

Friends,

I hope this finds you well. When I wrote this article, I thought how simple and short it would be. But as you could tell, it pushed the limits of my longest article to date. It turns out teasing this stuff out just takes time and words. And I wanted lots of stories this month, since I gave you no stories last month. And this topic absolutely ne…

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Tyler sat across from Lauren over drinks for the first time since they broke up six months ago. And he could not keep his eyes off of her. She was stunning. He had not planned to rekindle the flame. He’d only texted to make peace since they share the same social circles. And both agreed to meet to clear the air and be well with each other.

But there she sat in gorgeous repose. He felt intoxicated by her beauty and he swears it was not the drinks. He felt every bit the arousal of his body in her p...

Happy summer, friends!

I hope this finds you well amidst the dog days of summer. This month’s post focused on a common conversation I have with people in counseling. Most all of us spend too much time in the ditches of self hatred or self pity or both. And it keeps us from the kindness we need to heal and grow and mature.

The idea that self kindness is …

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“…As you love yourself.” Mark 12:31 MSG

Between self hatred and self pity swings a hammock blowing in a mountain breeze called self compassion. Can you see it there strung from the pines next to the river on that path down from the cabin? Most of us walk right past it because it looks too inviting. Seasick as we are from always wondering moment to moment in the tossing seas of self improvement if we should be beating ourselves up or giving ourselves a break. How could something as (cringe) gentle...

Good people,

Happy summer to you all. I hope this finds you summering well. Summer is such a great time to practice healthy sensuality and play. Grill, swim, camp, revel in a sunset. Here’s some beauty God bathed me and my family in as we walked out of Costco two nights ago. Pictures never do it justice. Which is why you need real play, real beauty and n…

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