Thom S. Rainer's Blog

For six straight years, a church in a mid-sized town hosted one of the best community barbeques you could imagine. The food was incredible. Smokers fired up at dawn, volunteers served mountains of pulled pork and ribs, and the aroma drifted across the neighborhood like an open invitation. People came from everywhere—families with kids, retirees looking for conversation, even city officials. The average attendance? About 650 every year. Not bad for a church that worshiped around 175 on Sundays.

The church members loved the event. They called it their “annual outreach.” They worked hard, smiled big, and sincerely hoped people would come to church the next day—or maybe the next Sunday. But here’s the punch line: after six years, the number of guests who actually showed up for worship was zero. Not one family. Not one curious visitor.

The members scratched their heads. “We feed them,” one said. “We’re friendly,” another added. “We give out flyers and put signs everywhere.” They couldn’t understand why a crowd of hundreds could enjoy the food, enjoy the people, and never darken the doors of the church building.

This church’s story isn’t unusual. I’ve seen it in towns across America. Churches put tremendous energy and money into events—fall festivals, concerts, car shows, you name it—and then wonder why no one returns. It’s not that the events are bad. In fact, they’re often excellent. The problem is deeper—and it’s rarely about the barbeque.

Members Do Not Connect with the Guests beyond the Event

Most church members assume friendliness and connection are the same thing. They’re not. Smiling while handing someone a plate of barbeque is nice—but it’s not a relationship. Saying “Glad you came!” as a family walks away is courteous—but it’s not connection. At most big church events, the interaction stops the moment the guests leave the parking lot.

The folks in that barbeque church were genuinely kind people. They worked hard, served food with enthusiasm, and even prayed that people would visit the church afterward. But when the event ended, they went home, tired but satisfied that they had “done outreach.” They didn’t realize outreach hadn’t even begun.

True connection happens when church members step beyond the event itself. It’s when a member sits with a guest at a picnic table and asks about their family. It’s when someone follows up with a simple text saying, “It was great to meet you today—let’s grab coffee sometime.” It’s when members invite guests into their homes, not just to their church.

Most unchurched people aren’t looking for a church event—they’re looking for a relationship. They’ll gladly attend something that’s fun and free, but what touches their hearts is genuine interest and care. Until church members learn to move from event-based friendliness to person-based connection, the gap between the crowd at the barbeque and the congregation on Sunday will remain.

Members Outsource Evangelism

Somewhere along the way, many church members started believing that evangelism could be delegated—outsourced, like a maintenance contract. The thinking goes something like this: “If we host a big enough event, the pastor or staff can handle the gospel part.” The event becomes a convenient substitute for personal witness. It feels spiritual without the risk of actually talking about Jesus.

That barbeque church fell right into this trap. The members truly believed the event was evangelism. After all, it had the word “outreach” printed on the flyers. They assumed that by cooking, serving, and smiling, they were fulfilling the Great Commission. Meanwhile, no one shared their story of faith. No one prayed with a neighbor. No one extended an invitation beyond, “Glad you came—see you next year.”

It’s easy to see why this happens. Talking about faith can feel uncomfortable. What if the person rejects you? What if you don’t know how to answer their questions? So, instead of engaging in personal evangelism, many church members hide behind programs. The event becomes a shield—a safe way to “do evangelism” without ever mentioning Jesus’ name.

Here’s the reality: no event, no matter how big or well-run, can replace believers who personally share the hope of Christ. Outreach is never effective when it’s outsourced. The gospel moves forward through relationships, conversations, and invitations—one person at a time. The barbeque can open the door, but someone still has to walk through it.

The Event Is Not Connected to the Church’s Mission

One of the biggest mistakes churches make is treating big events as stand-alone moments instead of part of an ongoing mission. The barbeque was great—people came, laughed, and ate—but no one ever explained why the church was doing it in the first place. The guests left thinking it was just a nice community gathering. They never connected the event to the gospel or the mission of the church.

When events are disconnected from the mission, they become ends in themselves. The win becomes “a great turnout” instead of “a changed life.” Churches count the number of hot dogs served instead of the number of conversations that lead to Christ. Over time, the event becomes a tradition—a thing the church does because it has always done it. And somewhere along the way, the mission gets lost in the smoke of the grill.

But when an event is clearly tied to the church’s purpose—loving people, making disciples, pointing to Jesus—everything changes. Members begin to see the barbeque not as an end, but as a means. They pray for people by name. They follow up intentionally. They talk about why the church exists and Who it exists for.

A church on mission never wastes an event. Whether it’s a barbeque, a fall festival, or a concert, every gathering becomes a step in the journey of helping people meet Christ. The event ends—but the mission never does.

The post Why Guests Don’t Come to Your Church After a Big Event appeared first on Church Answers.

A professor I had during my doctoral work encouraged us – pushed us, even – to pray a minimum of one hour a day. That amount of time, he said, was evidence that we had truly spent time with God, often on behalf of congregations we were leading. Because I knew of his commitment to prayer, I accepted the challenge.

My first approach was to determine to get up one hour earlier and pray each morning. That commitment, I’m afraid, didn’t last long. I tried, but it was too easy to push the snooze button and convince myself that I would do it sometime later in the day. The problem was that that “sometime later in the day” never seemed to come.

My next approach was to try two thirty-minute segments a day–ideally, one in the morning and one in the evening. That approach took me in the right direction, at least for a few weeks. When responsibilities and activities increased, though, it seemed my prayer time decreased in at least one of those two daily segments.

Since then, here’s what I’ve learned:

1. All of us do need a plan for prayer, whether we are church leaders or laypersons. I wish we would all default into being prayer warriors, but that’s not the case. In fact, I think prayer is the most difficult spiritual discipline to develop. It assumes that our love for God and our dependence on Him drive us to our knees, yet our lives don’t always reflect that. We need a plan to keep us focused and growing, trusting that prayer will become more and more a part of our lives.

2. I was connecting the efficacy of my prayer to the actual number of minutes I prayed. I’m not arguing there is not some correlation there (i.e., a believer who prays 20 minutes a day surely has a stronger prayer life than someone who prays 5 minutes a day); I’m just arguing that increasing the amount of time praying is not necessarily an indicator of a stronger prayer life.

3. While there is value in a concentrated time of prayer, 30 or 60 consecutive minutes of prayer are not necessarily more spiritual than 30 or 60 minutes of prayer spread throughout the day. That’s why I’m now okay with shorter times of prayer (e.g., 10-15 minutes at a time) spread throughout the day. The math is simple: 15 minutes of prayer that occur four times a day equal one hour just as much as 60 consecutive minutes do.

4. When we learn to pray intentionally for short periods throughout the day, it becomes easier to pray for longer periods. One of my pastoral heroes (who’s also probably the best prayer warrior I know) talks often about how much he loves his wife. You just know they talk in an ongoing way each day. Just the other day, though, he reminded me of the importance of sometimes getting away from the busyness of life to spend time with your wife and just talk for extended periods of time. “It’s just good to get away and talk,” he said.

That’s where I find myself with God today: praying throughout the day, yet looking forward to the times when I spend extended time with Him. After one of those latter times, too, I’m excited about talking to Him again the next day.

Your prayer life is likely different, but perhaps this post will help you as you evaluate your commitment to prayer today. As church leaders, we do set the example.

The post Church Leaders Praying for an Hour a Day? appeared first on Church Answers.

The United States Census Bureau released a report in 2020 that provided a striking reminder about who we are as a nation. In a report titled “America: A Nation of Small Towns,” they noted that about 76% of all incorporated places—nearly 19,500 of them—have fewer than 5,000 residents. Even more astonishing, almost 42% of incorporated places have populations under 500.

That means the overwhelming majority of American communities are small. While our cultural attention often focuses on the big cities, the small towns and rural areas form the backbone of the nation’s geography—and, for generations, the backbone of its spiritual life. Yet these are the very places where the church’s presence is now most fragile.

The data underscores an urgent truth: if we do not intentionally strengthen, plant, and support smaller churches, the majority of American communities will have little or no access to a local, gospel-centered congregation.

The majority of communities are small.

The numbers are not just statistics; they tell a story of spiritual geography. When 76% of incorporated towns are under 5,000 in population, it means the typical American community is not urban—it’s small, local, and often overlooked. Yet church leaders, networks, and denominations tend to concentrate resources where the population is densest. The result is a growing imbalance: a strong church presence in metropolitan areas and a weakening presence across the vast landscape of small towns.

To reach America, we must reach small-town America. The Great Commission does not draw city limits. Every place—no matter its size—deserves a gospel witness.

A massive mission field exists in small places.

Nearly half of America’s towns have fewer than 500 residents. In many of these communities, there is no school, no hospital, and increasingly, no church. A generation ago, nearly every town had a congregation on Main Street. Today, many of those sanctuaries sit empty or serve as historical landmarks rather than living ministries.

This is not just a nostalgic problem—it’s a missional crisis. The smaller the town, the less likely it is to draw attention from church planters or denominational leaders. Yet these are precisely the places where the gospel can transform lives through personal connection and presence. The mission field of the small town is vast, and it is open.

Larger churches cannot reach them all.

Large and megachurches have remarkable influence, but their reach has natural limits. They cluster in metropolitan corridors where the population supports a complex staff and extensive facilities. No matter how many campuses or online services they develop, they cannot physically plant themselves in every small community across America.

Smaller churches fit the scale, culture, and rhythms of their context. They can thrive on volunteer leadership, modest facilities, and a relational approach to ministry that larger models can’t easily duplicate. The future of ministry in small-town America depends not on replication of megachurch models but on the revitalization of small churches.

Small churches offer deep relational ministry.

In a culture that often feels impersonal and transactional, smaller congregations provide what sociologists call “high-touch” community. People know one another by name. They notice when someone is missing. They share meals, burdens, and celebrations together.

This kind of ministry is not secondary—it is essential. Jesus built His church on relationships, not programs. In smaller churches, evangelism is personal, discipleship is intentional, and pastoral care happens naturally through proximity. The intimacy of small-church life mirrors the early church more closely than many other models.

The future of church presence depends on small congregations.

As larger churches consolidate and some denominations shrink, the local presence of the church is increasingly dependent on smaller congregations. When a small church closes, there is often no other church within miles to fill the void. Multiply that reality by thousands of communities, and the result is a vanishing gospel presence across entire regions.

The future of Christian witness in America is not only urban; it is rural, local, and small. The sustainability of ministry in these areas depends on a new generation of pastors willing to serve faithfully in congregations of 50, 75, or 150. These pastors are not “less than”—they are frontline missionaries to the heart of America.

Smaller churches anchor community identity.

For many small towns, the local church is more than a spiritual gathering—it is the heartbeat of community life. It hosts the food pantry, the funeral meals, and the Christmas programs. When it disappears, something irreplaceable vanishes from the town’s identity.

Sociologists often describe rural churches as “social glue.” They hold communities together through shared memory and moral grounding. When the church declines, the community’s cohesion declines with it. Preserving and strengthening these churches is not merely a matter of religious concern; it is a matter of social health.

Strategic investment in small churches has exponential reach.

Investing in small churches yields disproportionate impact. A single revitalized church in a rural county can influence dozens of surrounding communities. Its pastor becomes a connector, its members become witnesses, and its ministry becomes a hub of hope in a region that might otherwise feel forgotten.

Supporting small churches—through coaching, funding, and prayer—is one of the most effective strategies for gospel multiplication in North America. It may not generate headlines, but it changes lives at the most personal level.

The future of the American church will not be determined only in the megacities but also in the small towns and rural crossroads scattered across the nation. The Census Bureau’s data should not merely inform us—it should compel us.

If nearly three-quarters of our communities are small, then the mission strategy of the church must be small-minded in the best possible way: focused, faithful, and rooted in the places most people overlook.

In the kingdom of God, there are no small churches—only small communities waiting for someone to bring them the hope of Christ.

The post The Urgent Need for Smaller Churches appeared first on Church Answers.

There’s a constant process happening in the United States that unfolds so slowly it’s nearly impossible to detect on an individual level—generational replacement. It’s a simple demographic concept: older people die and are replaced by younger ones who age into adulthood. The younger cohort has a different composition than the grandparents they replace. This is how the United States is rapidly moving toward a future in which a majority of its residents will not be white.

The same process is likely happening in your church, too. One funeral every few weeks or months doesn’t seem like much, but look back over the last couple of years and you’ll see those numbers add up. The empty seats on Sunday morning start to multiply unless a comparable number of baptisms offsets those funerals.

That’s why understanding the religious composition of young adults is so important. Fortunately, we have a great way to

Already a member? Log in Unlock premium content!

Get access to all Church Answers premium content from our expert contributors plus many other membership benefits.

$9.97 per month

Unlimited access

Join Now

The post Maybe the Religious Revival is with the Millennials? appeared first on Church Answers.

In his book The Road Ahead, Bill Gates wrote, “We always overestimate the change that will occur in the next two years and underestimate the change that will occur in the next ten. Don’t let yourself be lulled into inaction.” Of course, Gates was writing primarily about technological advancement, which he knows well. But he was also writing in a more general sense. As a humanitarian and philanthropist, Gates has also borne witness, both good and bad, to the monumental changes that can happen over a sustained period of time. 

He’s right. We tend to have a minimal scope of vision. Perhaps it’s the society we have been raised in, one in which the demand for immediacy permeates everything from the way we want our food to the way we want our entertainment. We want “it” how we want “it,” and we want “it” right now. Consequently, we as a people have very little taste for the long game. But perhaps that’s not even forceful enough. If we can’t see the impact, if we can’t see the effect, if we can’t see the immediate change, then we conclude that there is no impact, effect, or change coming at all, and so we move on.

You can see it in all kinds of ways:

We abandon an exercise routine after a week because we don’t see an immediate change in energy level or waistline.We abandon a budget because we don’t have enough money right away to pay for the new TV we want.We abandon a book because it doesn’t grab our attention in the first three or four paragraphs.

The problem is, so much of life is about the long game.

Think in terms of parenting. As any parent can tell you, we spend about 90% of our time, especially in the early days, repeating the same things to our kids. And it quickly gets frustrating because nothing seems to be sinking in. The kids make the same mistakes, fall into the same patterns, and exhibit the same traits over and over again. As parents, we become frustrated. No immediate change—so we conclude it’s not working. But parenting, again, is not so much about single actions of teaching, grace, mercy, and provision, but instead about a long, sustained pattern of consistency. That’s where the power is. 

It’s true in parenting, just as it is in exercise, in budgeting, and even in reading a book. And it’s also true in discipleship. 

Here’s another simple example. Let’s say that we resolve ourselves to learn to pray in a more focused, sustained, and consistent way. Well, on day one, that’s very hard. And day two isn’t much better. Neither is day three, and by then, we start to get a little weary of the process, so we shelve the effort. If we do, we have fallen victim to this kind of short-sighted thinking. We have overestimated the short-term change but underestimated the long-term. And we would do well to think about how many of our attempts at true discipleship, whether we are thinking of our own spiritual growth or of someone else’s, have been put aside far too soon. Discipleship is not about short-term gains. It’s the long game. I’m reminded yet again of what Eugene Peterson said in his book, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: 

“There is a great market for religious experience in our world; there is little enthusiasm for the patient acquisition of virtue, little inclination to sign up for a long apprenticeship in what earlier generations of Christians called holiness. Religion in our time has been captured by the tourist mindset. Religion is understood as a visit to an attractive site to be made when we have adequate leisure.” 

If that is true, then one of the things we should be praying for most as we pursue Jesus is straightforward and clear: Perseverance. 

It is the resolve to keep going. To keep going, not because it feels good. To keep going, not because we see immediate gains. To keep going, not because the road is downhill before us. No, it’s the resolve to keep putting one foot in front of the other, many times plodding along, because God is faithful. And we believe we will see the full result of that faithfulness only in a lifetime, not in a moment. 

For more information about a sustainable and consistent discipleship strategy, visit experiencerooted.com/churchanswers .

The post What Bill Gates Can Teach Us About Discipleship appeared first on Church Answers.

When a church becomes discouraged, energy drains away and mission focus fades. Evangelism slows. Outreach dwindles. Over time, discouragement settles like fog over the entire congregation. Yet, God specializes in breathing new life into tired hearts and weary churches. Even the most downtrodden church can rediscover hope, strength, and purpose.

Understanding Discouragement

Discouragement is a negative emotional state characterized by a loss of motivation and confidence, often resulting from failure, unmet expectations, or perceived inadequacies. 

Failure: I tried, and it didn’t work.Unmet expectations: I was expecting something better.Perceived inadequacies: I can’t do this. 

A discouraged congregation will often respond emotionally with feelings of sadness, hopelessness, frustration, and apathy. When discouraged, people frequently resort to distortions, such as overgeneralization (“nothing works”) or catastrophizing (“my church won’t make it”).

Members may sigh, We’re too small. We’re too old. Over time, pessimism becomes contagious, spreading from individual leaders to the entire congregation.

Scripture offers a striking example in Numbers 13–14. When the Israelites saw the giants in Canaan, they felt like “grasshoppers” in comparison. Fear led to despair: “If only we had died in Egypt!” (14:2). Their discouragement distorted reality, overgeneralizing defeat and catastrophizing the future. Churches can do the same, magnifying problems while minimizing God’s power.

The Causes Behind Church Discouragement

In many cases, discouragement arises when an inward focus supplants an outward mission. The church begins maintaining instead of moving. Comfort replaces calling. Leaders lament, “We’ve tried that, and it didn’t work,” or “We just need to keep the lights on.” The result is stagnation—a congregation existing rather than advancing.

Conflict, nostalgia, and fear also feed discouragement. When churches relive past hurts or cling to former glory days, they lose sight of what God might be doing now. Confusion about purpose leads to apathy. Fear of rejection silences evangelism. But hope can rise again when leaders cast a renewed vision rooted in faithfulness and mission.

Ten Ways to Encourage a Discouraged Church

Discouragement can feel overwhelming, but recovery does not have to be complicated. Small, intentional actions, when done consistently, can reignite passion and restore purpose. 

1. Celebrate faithfulness, not just fruit. God measures obedience before outcomes. Celebrate effort, not just results. Faithfulness is success in God’s eyes.

Discouragement: “We’ve tried that, and it didn’t work.”Encouragement: “Faithfulness is about effort. God provides the results.”

2. Rediscover the joy of the mission. Invite your church to dream again. Share stories of life change. Remind people that God still does new things in old places.

Discouragement: “It’s what we’ve always done.”Encouragement: “Let’s dream again. What if God wants to do something new right here?”

3. Reframe from survival to purpose. You’re not just keeping the lights on; you’re part of God’s redemptive plan for your community.

Discouragement: “We’re just trying to keep up with the bills.”Encouragement: “What if our church was made for this moment?”

4. Leverage strengths, not limitations. Emphasize the relational depth, wisdom, and adaptability your church already has.

Discouragement: “We’re too small. We’re too old.”Encouragement: “Small and faithful can be powerful. Let’s expect God to do something.”

5. Heal, learn, and move forward. Acknowledge past mistakes, but don’t live there. Let lessons learned become foundations for a stronger future.

Discouragement: “People got upset last time.”Encouragement: “You’ve grown wiser. Let’s build something stronger this time.”

6. Renew trust through repentance and grace. Encourage humility and forgiveness. When leaders model transparency, healing follows. God restores broken places and uses them for His glory.

Discouragement: “Leaders or power groups made mistakes.”Encouragement: “God restores broken places. Your healing can become someone else’s hope.”

7. Clarify the next faithful step. Overwhelmed churches often need a simple starting point. Choose one six-month initiative to build confidence and momentum. Focus on one major emphasis every six months, building one mid-term success on top of another.

Discouragement: “We don’t really know where to start.”Encouragement: “You don’t have to do everything—just the next right thing.”

8. Reclaim the power of the gospel. The good news message still works. People are more spiritually hungry than ever. Invite boldly, knowing God’s Word never returns void.

Discouragement: “People today aren’t interested in church anymore.”Encouragement: “God promises to save people. Why not those around us?”

9. Honor the past but invest in the present. Use your legacy as a launching pad. Do something meaningful for the next generation without idolizing the last one.

Discouragement: “We used to do big events, but people just don’t come anymore.”Encouragement: “God isn’t finished. Let’s do something meaningful for this generation.”

10. Replace fear with boldness. Courage is not harshness; it’s conviction guided by compassion.

Discouragement: “We don’t want to offend anyone.”Encouragement: “Let’s lead with love and truth. Both are more needed than ever.”

A Final Word to Leaders

Encouragement is both spiritual and strategic. It starts with leaders who refuse to catastrophize and instead cast vision. Pessimists predict failure. Realists describe what is. But optimistic, faith-filled leaders show what could be.

If your church feels stuck, start where you are. Celebrate faithfulness. Tell stories of hope. Invite your people to take the next small, faithful step. God delights in renewing discouraged churches because His glory shines brightest through weakness redeemed by grace. Even when the fog of discouragement feels thick, remember this truth: your church is not finished. God still writes new chapters of revival in places that once seemed forgotten.

If you’re looking for a safe place to ask church leadership questions, check out our membership at Church Answers, which includes access to Church Answers Central.

The post Ten Practical Ways to Encourage a Discouraged Church appeared first on Church Answers.

One of the most beautiful aspects of ministry is relationships. We get to walk alongside people through some of the hardest and most joyful seasons of life. We get to rejoice in victories, mourn in loss, and witness God’s faithfulness in real and tangible ways. There is profound privilege in being entrusted with the care of others’ hearts.

And yet, ministry carries a subtle but persistent danger. It can be easy to forget the gospel-centered purpose of our work. We can begin to treat people as the point instead of the vehicle. Sometimes, ministry becomes a way to prove our worth, to control outcomes, or to feel needed. We may fall into the trap of a savior complex, believing that our work alone can heal, fix, or save. In those moments, we risk turning a good thing into a god thing.

Ministry requires intentionality, humility, and dependence on God. Our work is not ultimately about programs, attendance, or even the measurable spiritual growth of others. It is about faithfully pointing people to Christ. Leadership in the church is not self glorifying; it is a stewardship of relationships and a reflection of God’s character. When we anchor our hearts in that truth, ministry becomes freeing rather than exhausting. We love, guide, and shepherd not because we must produce fruit, but because we are faithful to the One who produces it.

Scripture reminds us that God alone is the Savior. Paul exhorts the Corinthians, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth” (1 Corinthians 3:6). This verse is a lifeline for ministry leaders. We are called to sow and water, to shepherd and guide, but the transformative work belongs to God alone. When we forget this, we begin to carry burdens that are not ours to bear, and ministry can turn into performance or pride.

Practical steps for maintaining gospel-centered, intentional ministry include:

First, examine your heart regularly. Ask yourself why you are leading. Are you seeking to glorify God and serve His purposes, or are you looking for affirmation, control, or a sense of significance? Reflect, pray, and seek accountability with trusted mentors who will speak truth in love.

Second, set boundaries wisely. Shepherding is relational work that requires emotional, spiritual, and physical presence. We cannot give what we do not have. Protecting your rhythms of rest and study is not neglect, it is faithfulness to the One who called you.

Third, remain dependent on God. Every conversation, every meeting, every counseling moment must start in prayer and humility. Leadership that depends on our skill alone is fragile, but leadership dependent on God is steady.

Fourth, celebrate God’s work, not your own. When growth, healing, or breakthrough happens, point to Him. Let your leadership be defined by faithfulness rather than results.

Finally, remember your role as a shepherd. Your work is to point hearts to Jesus. Whether in small groups, counseling moments over coffee, or casual conversations about life, your calling is to guide, nurture, and equip others in their faith journey while recognizing that the fruit belongs to God. People are the ministry. Jesus is the point.

Ministry is sacred and demanding. Walking with people through life’s joys and sorrows is a unique privilege, and the front row seat we have to all that God is doing is why we show up day after day. When we remember that people are the ministry and Jesus is the point, we can lead with joy, humility, and intentionality. Ministry then becomes a faithful stewardship of relationships, a reflection of God’s love, and a participation in His redemptive work. We are called not to save, but to point, not to fix, but to shepherd, and in doing so, we bear witness to the One who alone transforms hearts just like ours.

The post People Are the Ministry, But People Aren’t the Point appeared first on Church Answers.

I’ll be 65 years old in two months, but I hang out with a lot of young people in my role as a seminary professor. In fact, I started in full-time ministry at age 20 – not much different from where my students are now. Here are some things I wish I’d known when I was their age:

The world doesn’t revolve around me. I arrogantly thought it did then, but now I know the world is much, much, much bigger than I am.Decisions I make today will affect the rest of my life. You never think about it at the time, but I still carry regrets over decisions I made decades ago.If it’s God’s plan, He’ll provide a spouse in His time. I worried too much about getting married when I was in my 20’s, but God knew I needed to grow up a bit before sharing my life with someone else. He brought me Pam when I was 30.My calling is more general than specific. Back then, I thought my calling was only to pastor a church, and I limited my thinking to that role. I’ve learned since then that God can use me in other roles, too. Popularity and power are fleeting. In those days, I was aiming for something I now know doesn’t last long. Regardless of how popular you think you may be, most of the world still doesn’t know you at all.Intentionally building a savings account and retirement funds matters. The sooner you start saving and preparing for the future, the more compounding interest will help you in the long run. I learned that truth early, but still I missed some years of saving.  I need the church. I needed the church when I started pastoring – but I saw it as a job more than as the family of God to provoke me to godliness and faithful living. Now, I know how much that family means to me.I need to pay attention to the world’s events. I was hardly a global Christian in my 20’s. Now, I think much about the billions of people around the world who don’t know Jesus.Life is seldom as bad as it seems. In the midst of chaos and problems, we sometimes think our life is catastrophic. In my younger years, I sometimes let pessimism drive me to discouragement and despair. Life’s seldom that bad, though.Reading the Bible and praying are more than “check the box” disciplines. That’s what they were to me back then; now, though, I know they’re life-giving components of a relationship with God who loves us.

I’m sure I could list other things, but perhaps my thoughts push you to remember and reflect, too. What do you wish you knew when you were 20?

The post 10 Things I Wish I Knew when I Started Ministry at Age 20 appeared first on Church Answers.

Every pastor knows the ache of losing a faithful member. But the pain deepens when the person who leaves is one of your strongest supporters — someone who has prayed for you, given sacrificially, and stood beside you through difficult seasons.

Why would a person so loyal, so invested, suddenly walk away?

The reasons often have little to do with doctrine or even dissatisfaction with the church’s direction. More often, the reasons are rooted in relational proximity — the complex dynamics that develop when a pastor and a key supporter walk closely together. The following seven realities are drawn from years of listening to pastors and church members who have experienced this quiet heartbreak.

1. Proximity Created Unmet Personal Expectations

Your biggest supporters are usually the ones who have had the most access to you. They’ve been in your home, prayed with you, and shared burdens others never knew existed. Naturally, this closeness can breed certain expectations — that texts will be returned quickly, that meetings will be easy to schedule, or that their opinions will carry extra weight.

As the church grows or demands increase, those expectations become harder to meet. The supporter begins to feel overlooked or replaced. What began as friendship becomes frustration. The departure is rarely dramatic; it’s more like a slow cooling of a relationship that once felt irreplaceable.

2. Influence Was Mistaken for Authority

When someone gives generously of their time, talent, or treasure, it’s easy for them to feel a sense of ownership. That’s not always unhealthy — until ownership begins to look like control.

Your most devoted supporters often have ideas about where the church should go next. They care deeply, but when leadership takes a different direction, they can interpret it as rejection. The disappointment sounds like this: “I thought we were in this together.”

Pastors who have walked through this know the tension: appreciation must never turn into dependency. Otherwise, the relationship becomes transactional — and when the “return” feels diminished, the supporter quietly withdraws.

3. The Pastor Became Too Human

At first, your biggest supporter sees you as a hero of faith — prayerful, wise, and strong. Over time, however, proximity reveals reality: fatigue, frustration, and frailty. The pedestal gives way to perspective.

When supporters see the pastor’s imperfections up close, they sometimes experience a form of spiritual disillusionment. The person they admired turns out to be just as human as they are. That realization can be unsettling for those whose faith was unintentionally tied to a person rather than the Lord.

4. Their Agenda Became Their Mission

Many key supporters enter ministry partnership with good intentions. But over time, their passion can narrow into a personal agenda — a favored ministry, a preferred worship style, or a pet project they believe defines the church’s future.

When the pastor or leadership team chooses a different path, the supporter feels unheard or unappreciated. They may conclude, “If my vision isn’t valued here, maybe God wants me somewhere else.”

In truth, it’s not always rebellion; sometimes it’s sincere confusion between serving the mission of Christ and serving a personal burden that once aligned with that mission.

5. Their Investment Outpaced Their Spiritual Formation

Your biggest supporters are doers. They give, serve, lead, and fill every gap. But activity is not the same as spiritual vitality. Without regular renewal, they can become tired, transactional, and even resentful.

When their spiritual reservoir runs dry, frustration replaces joy. They don’t stop caring — they just stop feeling alive in their service. Eventually, they step away, convinced something has changed in the church when, in reality, something has changed in them.

6. They Felt Replaced by New Voices

Healthy churches multiply leaders. But the very act of empowerment can feel threatening to those who once had the pastor’s ear. When new advisors, younger leaders, or different donors emerge, a longtime supporter can quietly wonder, “Am I no longer needed?”

That insecurity rarely surfaces publicly. Instead, it takes the form of distance — fewer conversations, less engagement, and eventually, absence. What the pastor sees as progress, the supporter experiences as displacement.

7. Their Relationship Was Built on the Pastor, Not the Mission

In the end, many strong supporters leave because their primary connection was with the pastor rather than the church’s mission. That’s not always their fault; pastors often pour deeply into these relationships out of gratitude and mutual trust.

But when that relationship cools — perhaps due to a new staff structure, shifting focus, or even personal fatigue — the supporter’s sense of belonging fades. They struggle to see a place for themselves apart from that relationship, and departure becomes their way of preserving dignity.

A Redemptive Word

If you’ve lost a major supporter, resist the urge to view them as disloyal or ungrateful. More often, they are simply navigating disappointment, identity, and shifting seasons of ministry.

Reach out with grace. Express gratitude for their investment. Pray for their next steps without defensiveness. And then, remind yourself of this truth: people may come and go, but the mission of Christ remains.

The healthiest churches — and pastors — learn to thank God for the season each person was given, rather than mourning the season that ended.

Sometimes, the departure of your biggest supporter isn’t a failure. It’s simply the Lord redirecting both of you toward deeper dependence on Him.

The post Seven Reasons Why Your Biggest Supporter Left the Church appeared first on Church Answers.

In the spring 1995 semester, I started my PhD studies under my major professor, Thom Rainer. Not long thereafter, I was part of his team that created what we named then the “Church Health Survey”—now the “Know Your Church Report” available through Church Answers. Thom also taught me the importance of interviewing church staff and laypersons in evaluating a church’s perception of her own health.

Now thirty years later, I am surprised by findings of those early consultations that remain consistent today. Use this list of findings to consider your own church:

Many churches admit their unhealthiness. Most churches that have completed the survey or answered interview questions perceive themselves as “marginally unhealthy” or “unhealthy.” They’re comfortable telling us if the church has seen recent conflict, and they recognize when those conflicts are unresolved. They have no problem admitting when their church has cliques. To Already a member? Log in Unlock premium content!

Get access to all Church Answers premium content from our expert contributors plus many other membership benefits.

$9.97 per month

Unlimited access

Join Now

The post 15 Findings from 30 Years of Consulting appeared first on Church Answers.