Sue Julsen's Blog - Posts Tagged "poem"
My First Poem
My mother had been buried earlier that day, and I had so many thoughts; so many feelings running rampant. Not knowing how to quiet the noise inside my head, I grabbed pen and paper and just started writing whatever came to mind.
I hadn't cried since I'd been told of Mama's accidental death, but that night, when I'd finished writing, one lonely tear fell onto the page. The sadness that I couldn't share with another soul had gone down in black and white, and only then did the voices inside my head become silent...
Why Mama?
Mama, why did you go away?
I wanted to be with you
I wanted to make the hurt go away.
He told me you were dead
Then one day, you were there.
You said you looked for me for six years
You said you wanted to take me home with you.
So, why did you go away?
I never had a home
Then one day you were there.
You said, "Let's go back to Texas
That is your home, you know."
I remember the red dress
I looked for holes burned through
But there were none to find.
You were so pretty Mama
Why did you go away?
— Sue Julsen
My life before Mama's death helped inspire me to write my story. In upcoming blogs I'll tell a little more about what happened in my early life that led up to the writing of my memoir.
I believe: IF I FOLLOW MY DREAMS and DON'T QUIT, I will succeed...
And I won't quit until my story is in the homes of all my readers.
NOTE: Poem is copyright protected and may not be reproduced or copied in any form or by any means - graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or information storage and retrieval systems - without written permission of the author.
Another Poem
Like I told you last time, my first poem was written when I was nine years old. That was a sad time in my life—as was most of my childhood—which I'll get into more later, but I continued to write poetry for many years.
My only problem was: if I wasn't depressed I couldn't write a word! Therefore, most of what I wrote was at the lowest points in my life, and when my depression lifted, I had to give up writing poetry.
Still, I believe, without this means of escape, my life would've been much worse.
After my mother died, I didn't have anyone to talk to. No one to tell my fears to...no one to tell me it would get better...no one to tell me in time the hurt would go away.
In a crowded room I really was all alone.
These were the words that poured out of me.
ALONE
I miss the time of being alone
Alone
To dream.
Alone
To wander.
To run through fields in my mind
To scream if need be.
Sitting by the fireplace
The blaze glowing
So bright and warm.
Letting my mind escape
Floating to the clouds
Bouncing from star to star
To visit the moon if I so desire.
To sit alone
With my own special dreams.
All the special moments
Only found
In being
Alone.
—Sue Julsen
NOTE: Poem is copyright protected and may not be reproduced or copied in any form or by any means - graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or information storage and retrieval systems - without written permission of the author.
THE DREAM
by Sue Julsen
When I first saw you by my side
There was a feeling I’d never felt before.
The way you combed your hair
The smile—I’ll never forget.
Your brown eyes sparkled
Your voice—deep and sensuous.
A tingle went down my spine
The first time I saw you smile.
Your strong arms—oh, how I wanted you to hold me tight
To love me, even for just one night.
But then...then you were gone
Only darkness remained.
I dreamed of you each night
Not wanting to wake.
The dreams with you were heavenly.
I know I’m in love with you...
Or, in love with a dream so sweet.
If only I could sleep, never to wake
You, my love, would still be by my side
Holding me tight.
I can feel your arms around me
I see your beautiful brown eyes.
As you move closer to me...
My head is spinning.
I draw you near
But then...then I awake.
Burning desire and darkness surround me.
In my heart there’s emptiness
For my dream—was only a dream
Reality is misery.
Books by Sue Julsen:
“Bitter Memories: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival”
“Trophy Murders”
“Cutter’s Revenge”
http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen
LITTLE GIRL LOST (part 4)
True Story of a little girl (me) kidnapped by her father...
Still on the road, hungry and scared, I sleep very little. I pretend to be asleep, but I’m waiting for the chance to trick Daddy. And, in a very short time I became very good at tricking him…
Back home, when Mama came home from work, not finding me in my bed, she checked the house and the backyard. She couldn’t find me anywhere, and my grandparents also hadn’t seen me all morning. She became distraught and called her brother, Henry, a cop…
Please visit my website to learn more about the bitter memories trilogy, and my poetry book, From The Heart, also based on events in my life, that includes short stories that inspired the writing of each poem. From The Heart is also available in audio. You can listen to a preview at Amazon — it is awesome!
http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen
NOTE: This is not a cozy, feel-good book. It's a true story of extreme child abuse and the will to survive. Strong language, heart-wrenching content!
LITTLE GIRL LOST (part 9)
Bitter Memories: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival
True Story of a little girl (me) kidnapped by her father...
I never knew from one day to the next what life was going to throw at me. I wanted to believe Daddy would be there to protect me and to take care of me, but Daddy was a cruel man. He only cared about himself, but I still loved him. I trusted him and I believed in him for six long years — until I found out...
Other books in this series:
Trophy Murders combines truth with fiction in an action-packed crime story while delving more into my life after going to live with Uncle Henry (the cop) and his heavy-handed wife, Olivia.
Cutter's Revenge, again mixes truth with fiction as I continue my story after being adopted. While another serial killer stalks our little town, I'm living a dream as I write my story's ending the way it could have been if...and it's an ending my fans love!
All my books are based on or from events in my life and have received 4 and 5 star reviews. Books are wonderful gifts, and any or all of my books would be a great gift this Christmas for yourself or for a loved one. Enjoy!
To learn more about the bitter memories trilogy, and From The Heart, my new poetry book taken from times in my life that also includes stories that inspired the writing of each poem, please follow the link below to my website.
NOTE: Bitter Memories: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival is not a cozy, feel-good book. It's a true story of extreme child abuse and the will to survive. It contains strong language and heart-wrenching content. In Trophy Murders and Cutter's Revenge the language is toned down, a lot, bringing this part of my story to a close.
http://sj2448.wix.com/suejulsen
