Adam Rodenberger's Blog

JANUARY  (7 books | 2,036 pgs)

01.) The Game Master's Book of Villains, Minions, and Their Tactics (Game Manual, 256 pgs) | 4/5

02.) The Game Master's Book of Traps, Puzzles and Dungeons (Game Manual, 256 pgs) | 4/5

03.) Loteria by Cynthia Pelayo (Stories & Poetry, 344 pgs) | 3/5

04.) The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins (Novel, 528 pgs) | 2/5

05.) Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth by Chris Ware (Graphic Novel, 384 pgs) | 3/5

06.) Root Rot by Saskia Nislow (Novella, 140 pgs) | 3/5

07.) The Undead by Johan Egerkrans (Art, 128 pgs) | 4/5

*    *    *

I am late in posting my monthly reading list and personal updates. The new job is full of wonderful people and challenging work, but I often feel like my productivity is being used inefficiently. There are ways to mitigate this, and I'm working on it. 
But this struggle makes for a crowded headspace. After being in the office all day most of the week, I yearn for the silence of a quiet house in the evenings. Finding time to read while finding time to decompress has been tough, but perhaps it's also the books I've got currently shuffling across my nightstand. Many are thick novels that I've read before, but they are committments nonetheless, both mental and physical. 
~*~
The news also remains trash; every new day reveals another ridiculous and unneeded downward spiral for so many. And being me, I know I can't disconnect from it fully as much as I want to. I have to know about the day's atrocities because I have a pretty good inkling about the end results will play out in some instances. 
It's good to be prepared, but the weight of everything remains heavy and too many people in my orbit continue to have incredibly tough times ahead of them. Some through their own actions, sure, but most through no faults of their own. The dominos simply fell around them too hard and too fast for them to have time to react or pivot. 
For now, we soldier on as best as we can while trying to find the little motes of things that bring us joy. 

*    *    *

Recently in a local author post about literary events, I saw someone tout that an author friend of theirs was celebrating their 200th book release. The author in question is *maybe* in their 30s. My immediate reaction wasn't "wow, good for them" it was "there's no way their prose is good, nor could their stories be edited well." Having not read the books, I'm obviously casting hyper-biased suspicion here, but experience tells me I'm probably not far off the mark. 

Quantity rarely finds its equal in quality, but quantity has certainly been celebrated amongst some of the authors I've seen bubble up in the last few years. The drive to pump out content en masse has been galling to watch, if only because it tells me that proper time is not being taken and that corners are almost certainly being cut in order to simply have more things for others to buy. Or it's all being written by AI. Neither reality being any better than the other, clearly.

Then again, what does it matter to me or my audience? I write a completely different style of book than they do, and I have zero control over what the vast majority of the reading public wants to read—both points I've stated numerous times to others. So why should I care so much? 

Mostly because I think it sets another unrealistic expectation on potential writers who want to become a part of an industry in which it is already absurdly difficult to catch even a small break. I'll be the first to admit I latched onto the trope of Unsober Writer with Grand Delusions as easily as most. But, there was still work being done. I spent untold hours drinking and smoking cigarettes in my friend's garage many late nights while working on two separate manuscripts for my undergrad degree. 

When grad school came, I transferred that zeal into writing most weekends and changing up my sleeping schedule in order to find more time to write. I averaged at least 100 pages a semester for in-class critique, on top of working on multiple projects outside of that scope—I treated grad school like it was the last time I'd ever do anything worthy with my talents. My output was perpetual and while there were some weeks I didn't write a thing, the words mostly flowed during those years. Same, too, once school was done. 

On top of all this, I was spending time submitting stories out for publication, itself practically a whole other unpaid job I was working considering how much time I spent on the endeavor. 

Having put in the time and the effort personally, I guess I just question unrealistic milestones where the quantity of the supposed ouput elicits the perception that quality was never part of the equation. I'm also quick to criticize in some things, so I asked our in-house writers what they thought of such a thing, wondering if I was perhaps off the mark with my feelings. Unsurprisingly, they had the same reaction I did. 

I guess I'm just trying to fight against the enshittification of my hobbies as much as possible wherever I'm able. Those moments are feeling fewer and further between, however.

*    *    *

I have some new literary events coming up this year. I'm trying to be judicious about them as I'd really prefer to have one of the two books I'm working on ready to go by the end of the year, but that may be tough with the way things are going currently. Regardless, three of my four events are confirmed but I'm anxiously awaiting word on the fourth (and last of the year). 

St. Joe Retro Con (confirmed)May 2nd & 3rd(Sat/Sun)
St. Joseph Civic Center100 N. Fourth St.St. Joseph, MO. https://stjoeretrocon.com/


St. Louis Horror Con (confirmed)July 11th & 12th(Sat/Sun)
Greenfield Rec Complex550 Weidman RoadManchester, MO. 63011https://www.evansvillehorror.com/stlouishorror


Crypticon KC (confirmed)August 14th-16th(Fri/Sat/Sun)
Hilton Kansas City Airport8801 NW 112th StKansas City, MO. 64153https://www.crypticonkansascity.com/index.html


Boozy Book Fest (unconfirmed as of this posting)October 3rd(Sat)
Bartle Hall/KC Convention Center301 W. 13th StreetKansas City, MO. 64105https://www.boozybookfest.com/

~*~

Work continues ever onword with .corpsegod and An Atlas of Bone & Sorrow. I hope to get the latter out soon, but there is yet still so much to do with the book and I worry that if too much time passes, I'll end up losing some of the immediacy, some of the meatiness of things. Then again, many of these stories have been stuck in stasis for a while; they'll keep. 
Until next time. 


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(39 books | 7,452 pgs)
01.) The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon (Novel, 487 pgs) | 5/5
02.) At the Mountains of Madness (for Beginning Readers) by RJ Ivankovic (Novel, 142 pgs) | 5/5
03.) Mothmeister: Sinister and Spiritual Post-Mortem Fairy Tales by Mothmeister (Art, 272 pgs) | 5/5
04.) House of Rot by Danger Slater (Novel, 122 pgs) | 2/5
05.) The Genocide House by Robert Kloss (Novel, 266 pgs) | 2/5

06.) Rare, Fine and Limited by Mike Flanagan (Novella, 78 pgs) | 4/5

07.) Francis Bacon, by Martin Hammer (Phaidon Focus) (Art, 144 pgs) | 4/5

08.) We Live Inside Your Eyes by Kealan Patrick Burke (Stories, 277 pgs)| 2/5

09.) Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica (Novel, 209 pgs) | 4/5

10.) At Dark, I Become Loathsome by Eric LaRocca (Novel, 227 pgs) | 3/5

11.) Inscrutable Cities by Julian K. Jarboe (Game Manual, 82 pgs) | 5/5
12.) We Were Called Specimens: An Oral Archive of Deity Marjorie (Stories, 139 pgs) | 3/5
13.) Nineteen Claws and a Black Bird by Agustina Bazeterrica (Stories, 154 pgs) | 2/5
14.) The Wolf Wants Answers by Joshua Mohr (Novel, 236 pgs) | 4/5
15.) Storyforge: Advanced Writing Prompts for Seasoned Storytellers, Book 1 (Workbook, 100 pgs) | 0/5
16.) Storyforge: Advanced Writing Prompts for Seasoned Storytellers, Book 2 (Workbook, 100 pgs) | 0/5
17.) Alfred Hitchock & the Three Investigators #20: The Mystery of Monster Mountain by MV Carey (Young Adult, 172 pgs) | 3/5
18.) Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca (Stories, 281 pgs) | 2/5
19.) Alfred Hitchock & the Three Investigators #21: The Secret of the Haunted Mirror by MV Carey (Young Adult, 172 pgs) | 3/5
20.) Alfred Hitchock & the Three Investigators #22: The Mystery of the Dead Man's Riddle by William Arden (Young Adult, 145 pgs) | 3/5
21.) You Should Have Left by Daniel Kehlmann (Novella, 128 pgs) | 2/5
22.) Strange Houses by Uketsu (Novel, 208 pags) | 4/5
23.) Mapping the Interior by Stephen Graham Jones (Novella, 108 pgs) | 3/5
24.) The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw (Novella, 106 pgs) | 3/5
25.) Horrorstor by Grady Hendrix (Novel, 248 pgs) | 3.5/5
26.) Strange Pictures by Uketsu (Novel, 236 pgs) | 3/5
27.) A Path Through the Forest by Alisha Galvan (Stories, 179 pgs) | 2.5/5
28.) I Found a Lost Hallway in a Dying Mall (Novel, 160 pgs) | 3/5
29.) Things We Lost in the Fire by Mariana Enriquez (Stories, 192 pgs) | 3/5
30.) The Divine Farce by Michael S.A. Graziano (Novella, 125 pgs) | 5/5
31.) Dreamlives of Debris by Lance Olsen (Novel, 296 pgs) | 3/5
32.) The Unworthy by Agustina Bazeterrica (Novel, 175 pgs) | 5/5
33.) Scorch Atlas by Blake Butler (Stories, 152 pgs) | 5/5
34.) The Archive of Alternate Endings by Lindsey Drager (Novel, 159 pgs) | 4/5
35.) Death My Own Way by Michael S.A. Graziano (Novella, 130 pgs) | 3/5
36.) The Goth House Experiment by S.J. Sindu (Stories, 209 pgs) | 3/5
37.) Uncertain Sons and Other Stories by Thomas Ha (Stories, 284 pgs) | 4/5
38.) Dead Inside by Chandler Morrison (Novel, 168 pgs) | 2/5
39.) Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth by Chris Ware (Graphic Novel, 384 pgs) | 3/5

*


I read fewer than half of the amount of books I wanted to read this year, but that's fine. I made massive life changes and massive creative strides, both in all the ways that needed to happen. 
The beginning of the year had me struggling with some lingering health issues, some due to work, some due to diet, some due to the nature of the world. Because I only have control over two of those three, I changed up my diet considerably and eventually quit a job that was exacerbating those lingering health issues. Unfortunately, I have less control over the stupidity of the world than I'd like, so...much of that remains a constantly burning fire that smarter people than I are able to put out. 
I began work at a new agency here in town at the beginning of December. I was excited to work there as their book of work was very KC/midwest-centric and, after my first month I continue to be enthused by the work and the people that do it. It's a fun office and I hope I get to stick around for a good long while. My contract will end at the end of January, and I've been asked to interview for the full position. No idea when that will happen, but I feel that bodes well for a longer stay. 
On the creative front, I spent as much of my unemployed time working on the next two books. MASSIVE productivity on the second book (.corpsegod) though significantly less productivity on the first (An Atlas of Bone & Sorrow). Both continue to be very top of mind, however, and I'd love to see AAoB&S published by next summer if possible, by the end of the year at the very latest. I'll simply need to spend more time on several of the stories to make that a feasible option. 
Both front covers have been created, but I will probably start working on the back covers and the spines this month, purely just to have them ready to go once both the writing and editing are done. The writing of .corpsegod remains fun and enthusiastic while the writing of An Atlas of Bone & Sorrow remains perpetually tough to return to since so much of it is very personal on a number of levels. 
I really love what both books are becoming, however. I hope others feel the same when they eventually become available for public consumption. 
*  


The year was not a good one - not for me personally and not for a number of people in my circle. I hope 2026 brings a new and refreshed zest for life and all it entails for those of us who've been looking for the signs. I hope the deficiencies of our lives become less so; I hope the year brings about the successes needed for those who lose heart easily. 
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I've had a strangely large number of conversations in the last two weeks about the nature of authenticity, itself a comment on truth as a whole. 

Because so much of what life has thrown at us in recent years is composed of digital falsehoods pushing nonsense, linguistic labyrinths meant to confound, and a wholesale weaponization of language forcing ideologies to clash against each other...it can be hard to find the authenticity in life sometimes. 

The internet was lauded early on as some great bastion of learning. It was also touted as a way to further connect people of differing backgrounds and ideas. Though presented as a kind of great technological, cosmopolitan symposium like those held in ancient Greece among statesmen and politicians and philosophers, it has become simply another great example of our idealism outshining the reality of what would actually happen. Rather than being a pure way of spreading truth and knowledge, we've basically polluted the digital ocean in the same way we've polluted the real ones surrounding our home continents. 

There are large swaths of industry geared solely toward manipulating the digital ecosystem in order to propagate "engagement" and "sales," and so we as a collective society have bought into this idea that we must fight against others doing the same in order to make sure we are best seen by the most amount of people. And admittedly, I am part of this machine, having worked in digital marketing for the last 10 years in some way, shape, or form. I have learned the backend of websites and how to optimize pages in order to grab your attention more succinctly in order to get you to buy/buy-in/opt-in/choose this product or this lifestyle choice. Hell, even my writing of this blog is meant to grab your attention and hold onto it no matter how well- or ill-informed the piece might be. 

And now we are feeding these polluted waters into a new system as if they are the truth, as if they don't contain all the nonsensical poison we've been dumping into the internet's rivers and tributaries. Yes, there is plenty of truth being fed into the system as well, but there is plenty of gnarled garbage being served up to us in the process because the source is itself full of gnarled garbage. 

So many are happily buying into the mangled ourobouros of AI bullshit and so many (like myself) are actively against its proliferation into the public sphere. I have used it at my previous job. Had to be trained on multiple systems that did multiple things. I have experience with it and I simply don't care for it. I don't find it helpful to me personally or professionally as I never needed it to do my tasks in the past, nor do I feel like I need it now. It's getting exhausting having to wade through the AI-created garbage that is now becoming more ubiquitous as the general public has latched on to it. 

A recent study by MIT's Media Lab concluded that "excessive reliance on AI-driven solutions may contribute to cognitive atrophy." This finding essentially states that the use of AI is diminishing your capacity for thinking for yourself in certain ways, which can't be remotely surprising to anyone. But to be fair, this was a smaller study with a small sample size and has yet to be peer-reviewed, so take the results with a grain of salt. I wouldn't be surprised if more studies like this turn up the same results over the next few years, though. 

It's becoming harder and harder to find the authenticity sometimes and may continue to be so for a good long while. 

*

I may not have become a teacher the way I initially thought I would ages ago, but I'm almost always happy to teach other people how to do the things that I know how to do because I enjoy the role of mentor, even in small ways. Sure, I could charge for that information (barter, money, information trade, etc), but I find that kind of transaction for knowledge...awkward. Not tacky, but it makes me uncomfortable in many ways. 

I didn't realize that I'd already been adhering to the concept below, but when I took a whole semester of Kant during undergrad, I was struck by his idea of the categorical imperative (a kind of universal morality): 

"Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, never merely as a means to an end, but always at the same time as an end."  

To this day, it is difficult for me to approach something like a networking event with any real kind of enthusiasm because of the premise of the thing - here are a bunch of people who can do things for you if you can do things for me. Transactional. Of course there is the complete and true possibility of making genuine connections at something like that, but I think you understand where I come from personally on this. I don't begrudge anyone that attends those types of events, they're just not for me. 

If I have a legitimate connection with someone, and I enjoy their company apropos of nothing else at all, I find that giving up my time or my expertise is far easier and enjoyable than not. There is an authenticity to both the emotional connection and to the professional request. 

And it feels like there's a widening gap between the interpersonal; the important and complex emotional quotient between individuals seems to be ever-growing. The need for physical and emotional human connection will always be there. The problem is that we've seen so much of that degrade as the digital space opens up, taking more of our headspace and our heartspace. And, much like every other invention we've bastardized and ruined, we can see the way we are approached and treated like mindless cattle in dating apps or on social media sites. The phrase "if you're not paying for it, then YOU'RE the product" is an especially cynical, if completely true, viewpoint. 

The worst common denominator in us has figured out how to use great technology for terrible uses, and they'll continue to do so with every new advance. 

*

I say all this as a current luddite and former idealist-turned-cynic. There was a long time where I preferred to see the best in people, regardless of the situation. The older I get, however, the less I believe that to be true. I recognize this as a broad overgeneralization, I do, but I think it's important to not only seek out authenticity and truth, but to implement as much of both into one's own life as much as possible, maybe now more than ever. 

The worst versions of my self were the ones where I actively tried to be something I clearly wasn't. 

The worst versions of my creations were the ones where my heart wasn't in it. 

The worst decisions I ever made were always the ones where I lowered my standards or intentionally ignored the ethical and moral pillars of my belief system in order to satisfy a short-term situation. 

Good is rarely easy and easy is rarely good. And while I certainly don't expect anyone to agree with my reasoning or my methodology, I have added a disclaimer to my next two books because I think it will be important for a large part of the population to know what art has been created entirely by human hands and thought versus what's been generated by AI: 

"Not a single stitch of this book utilized AI in any capacity. Not for ideating, not for writing, not for editing, not for creating any of the cover art, not for creating any of the inner art...nothing. This either matters to you or it doesn't, but it absolutely matters to me." 

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SEPTEMBER  (5 books | 1,175 pgs)
35.) Death My Own Way by Michael S.A. Graziano (Novella, 130 pgs) | 3/5
36.) The Goth House Experiment by S.J. Sindu (Stories, 209 pgs) | 3/5
37.) Uncertain Sons and Other Stories by Thomas Ha (Stories, 284 pgs) | 4/5
38.) Dead Inside by Chandler Morrison (Novel, 168 pgs) | 2/5
39.) Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth by Chris Ware (Graphic Novel, 384 pgs) | 3/5
*
Light month of reading, but I've been hyper focused on revising my resumes and cover letters, submitting to open work positions, and handling some family stuff in the background. 
The only book I really enjoyed this month was Thomas Ha's Uncertain Sons and Other Stories. More sci-fi-leaning than I typically enjoy, but man that guy can worldbuild his ass off. Great collection of super punchy, vibrant places in some very similar wheres in some very similar whens, albeit VERY, VERY different. I'm shocked it's his first collection. 


*
Slight movements being made on the next two books, but again...other, more important life things have been occurring. Plus stepping away from constantly writing every single day is a good thing. Frequent breaks are necessary to keep the brain fresh and help stimulate new ideas and solutions. 
The title piece, ".corpsegod | THE TANNERY" is coming along nicely. It took me a minute to find the narrator's voice and determine how I wanted to tell the story, but ultimately, I feel like a field journal fits the vibe of it perfectly and helps keep the reader in the dark where applicable. 
Meanwhile, ".scorchbile | THE EXHIBITION" came on pretty hard and pretty fast, though I may need to revisit it in a few places before considering it truly "done." Fun concept, but a friend reminded me of certain iffy depictions of the main character in books and movies, so...I want to make sure they're depicted more accurately and in a less stigmatized/problematic way. 
I'd hoped to finish up ".corpsegod," ".bloodspine," and ".wraithmilk" by this time last week, but time got away from me. Right now, ".bloodspine" has the most amount of work required to finish it, so that may be an end of November goal. The other two, however, will almost certainly be done in the next few weeks. 


*
I'm not gonna hit my "100 Books Read" this year, and that's fine. My TBR piles scattered all around the house are ludicrous anyway; I'm not in any danger of finishing any of them no matter what. 
I have a job interview this week with a potentially great fit, work-wise. I've kept a running total of the number of resumes I've submitted since July and the number is staggering. The job market sucks and I can't imagine a time when it will get better considering all the nonsense happening at the federal level. 
Maybe I'll try to spend more time checking out and reviewing horror movies and shows again. I've certainly seen enough since last Halloween's posts, and digging in to more stuff in my Shudder account or being shown at the local arthouse theater will be a solid time regardless. 
Until next time...

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AUGUST (7 books | 1,259 pgs)
28.) I Found a Lost Hallway in a Dying Mall (Novel, 160 pgs) | 3/5
29.) Things We Lost in the Fire by Mariana Enriquez (Stories, 192 pgs) | 3/5
30.) The Divine Farce by Michael S.A. Graziano (Novella, 125 pgs) | 5/5
31.) Dreamlives of Debris by Lance Olsen (Novel, 296 pgs) | 3/5
32.) The Unworthy by Agustina Bazeterrica (Novel, 175 pgs) | 5/5
33.) Scorch Atlas by Blake Butler (Stories, 152 pgs) | 5/5
34.) The Archive of Alternate Endings by Lindsey Drager (Novel, 159 pgs) | 4/5

*
I've been out of the loop on a number of literary things the last few years, so I've been turning to Reddit to find out what people are talking about. Several of the books being discussed are already on my TBR shelf, but I fell down the r/weirdlit hole and found some really great stuff that's been triggering my synapses nicely as of late. The Divine Farce and The Archive of Alternate Endings were both great surprises in this way, so I've been switching out between horror and experimental a bit. 

*
Work on the next two books has been...challenging, but fruitful. I've been keeping track of my daily word totals and I'm averaging about 10,000 words a month. Which, yes, that's good, but I was really hoping that I'd be at the 3-4,000 word a day mark by now. Interesting how those muscles tend to atrophy when you're not flexing them as regularly as you used to. I'm sure some of the creative erosion that happened over the last couple years is partly to blame. I also simply have a lot on my plate at the moment, which can be hard to ignore. 
As you can see by the image below, strides are being made on .corpsegod. The intro and two stories are completely done and in need of editing with four more stories nearing completion quickly. That puts me at about a 25% completion right now, which I'm not mad about. And, I'm really loving how this book is coming together in all the ways. Not a lot of punches being pulled in this one. 


*
I'd been struggling to figure out a cover concept for An Atlas of Bone & Sorrow. I've been sitting on a few ideas that I've jacked around with, but nothing really felt all that great. I hadn't been to the Michael's store in a while and decided to buy some new paints for the art studio and just ambled throughout the aisles looking for inspiration on a few things. 
I have this old anatomically correct heart that was my mother's during her medical education. She used to have a fantastic full skeleton back in the day too, but I think she may have gotten rid of that when we moved to KC all those years ago. Anyway, I had this thought months ago that it would be fun to put on display in a glass container surrounded by some kind of foliage. Flowers, grass, moss, whatever. Create a weird terrarium with all of it. 
I had a filtered water jug that I was no longer using, so that part was handled no problem, and I had the heart. I found some great moss options at the store, as well as a proper pedestal to put the whole thing on and...honestly? I kinda love how it came out. There are aspects of the cover that need tweaking for sure, but there's a lot about this that I think came out nicely. 
I'm really excited to finish this one. It's been difficult to complete. 


*
I've been unemployed for 2 months now. I've sent out some 20 or 30 resumes, and I've got a professional portfolio put together, but unsurprisingly, the job market is hot garbage. I had hoped to find something in the publishing industry, but no one I know currently working in those fields has offered up any information in that regard, and most of the gigs I'm finding through typical online portals require you to be on one of the coasts or in Chicago. So obviously that's all super helpful. 
The world continues to burn and spin and we all come tumbling after. 


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JULY  (3 books | 663 pgs)
25.) Horrorstor by Grady Hendrix (Novel, 248 pgs) | 3/5
26.) Strange Pictures by Uketsu (Novel, 236 pgs) | 3/5
27.) A Path Through the Forest by Alisha Galvan (Stories, 179 pgs) | 2.5/5
*
Pretty slim reading for the month of July. You'd think that, since I quit my job at the start of the month, I would've read more. Honestly, I've been neck deep in work on the next two books. 
I've been keeping my "wake up at 5am, eat breakfast, be working by 7am" routine since my last day. It's been especially liberating to grab a nap around 5pm, know it won't jack up my entire next day, and then wake up around 7pm to get more writing done until about midnight. The fluidity of progress is really helping with the ideation, which is really helping with the creation once a piece is ready to have its story told. 
I spent most of today putting final touches on more cover art, but mostly in trying to create my own specific "decorative letters that begin a chapter." You know, the very artistic and massively oversized letters that begin a story in fairy tale books. There are a number of names for these, each shade of meaning containing a new component of the letter: initials, drop caps, rubrics, illuminated. 
I don't know what's been more informative with my design process: the amount of time I've spent painting out in my garage the last few years or all the time spent watching other friends of mine work in Photoshop as they create event flyers or my book covers. Both have been incredibly vital and have shown me new ways of working. 
Let's start with the latest iteration of .corpsegod's cover. The cover of a book needs to be its own statement. It needs to scream "look at me" while also screaming "I'm actually interesting" and have something inside its covers worth saying. I wish I had video from this past weekend's Boozy Book Fair of the numerous people who walked by my booth and had to rubberneck and make a beeling to my table after seeing the cover of Under a Black Rainbow. 
The first few ideas I had for .corpsegod were a background of stonework and some simple lettering. Nothing extravagant, very plain, but statement-making. It was...fine. It was a starting point while other concepts started marinating. 

But the more I started writing the stories within and realized that this was less a book of dark fairy tales and more like a black bible of sorts, the design took on a whole new aspect. This was not just another book, it was a cursed book. A cursed book is often made of leather, has been well-worn due to decades of being read. Some of the stories would be told in biblical fashion, with chapters and verses and passages. Others would be more like parables or fables. 
When I realized this was the path the book was headed down, I started playing with leather background, wanting to find the right color of a dark brown or reddish-brown leather. Recreating the gold embossing is a bit out of my creative wheelhouse, but I think I found a pretty decent stand-in for an embossed look. 

A little neon lighting on the yellow text, some offset backdrop shadow text behind it...yeah. This felt better. Closer to what I was looking for. 
But this also felt a little TOO simple for what the book was becoming. There needed to be extra added features to help give it more of a personality. This isn't just some random book to be read and tossed to the back of the shelf. This is a book that you become a part of, a book that requests you shepherd its stories across the countryside, regaling others with the nightmares inside. 
The book needed embellishment. It needed to feel like something older than god. It needed to feel like there was something growing within its pages, aching and crawling to get out and escape into the world. 
A simple circular, splotched ink design appeared. Then a more decorative circle design emerged within that. Then another decorative circle design asked to be added. The use of a dead/dying tree image become the use of three tree structures to create the effect of some kind of corruption growing and crawling up out of the book through the cover, and then I knew I was on the right track. Add in a little golden filigree to help build up the fee that this a TOME rather than just another flimsy book, and this is where we're currently sitting at with the cover art. 
It will almost certainly change before I finish the next 27 stories, but I like what it's doing to me and I LOVE what it's evoking. 


*
As stated previously, I was a vendor at the summer edition of the Boozy Book Fair here in Kansas City. Great event put on by great people. Well organized and unbelievably well attended. I believe they said there were close to 3,500 people in attendance for 80ish authors and another 20-30ish literary-themed vendors. 
My first time attending was this past February, and I sold 46 copies of my books then (assuming I'd only sell about half that number, MAYBE). Did NOT expect that level of success my first time out, especially since I'm a bit of an odd duck peddling my surrealist horror wares amongst a ton of romantasy/cliterature authors. However, that actually seemed to work in my favor as many people that stopped by my booth (both then and last time) were glad for the change in genre that they could check out. I sold 50 copies this time around, so...slightly better. 
It also got me super jazzed to come home and continue working on this one so it's ready for next year. Again, there are another 27 stories I need to write for it, so it'll be a cool minute, but progress has been execptional on nearly every aspect of the process. 
I have another event coming up in October out in Olathe (with another potential in Arkansas). The last few I've attended locally have been out in the Blue Springs area, so hopefully this will bring out a completely new crowd that has no idea who I am yet. More details to come on that one next month. 
I've also started making more author friends as we continue to run into each other at all the same events. The literary event moves people have been making (Sparking Ambition, Dark Flame Society, The Gilded Page, etc., just to name a few) here in KC has been absolutely phenomenal for the city. Tons of great authors getting their names out more regularly, giving the readers of the city a fantastic number of book options to check out is always a good thing. We've got a ways to go, but these have been amazing strides in making the city more literary-minded and offering up more literature event options. 
*
I've updated some of the furnishings in my home. I'm about to update some of the lighting fixtures. Other internal home projects are finally able to be put back into the queue now that I've got the actual time to devote to planning them. 
My stress is at an all-time low; my sleep quality is at an all-time high. I spend the majority of my days working on something creative, putting my brain to constant work so as to not stagnate during this time between uobs. Until then, expect more updates like this one where you'll get a deep dive into the current processes taking up all the space inside my brain. 

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A few months ago, I noticed a new woman in the neighborhood. It's possible she's not new and that she only started appearing out in the street within the last several months. 
Regardless, I live on a dead end street and I started seeing her on a daily basis. She plods down the middle of the road carrying this child like a giant, limp starfish. Based on the size of the child, I'm guessing they're anywhere from 8 to 10 years old, which seems a little older than should be carried by most parents. 
Plus I've seen her out there in 100+ degree heat, stalking up and down the hot blacktop with the dead weight of this child strapped to her chest. She walks to the end of my street and then takes a right, heading down the longest street bisecting my neighborhood. Her walk is not a short one and it occurs multiple times a day. 
The child is rarely ever moving much, if at all. My writing partner believes there is some kind of neglect at play, having seen the child in little other than socks and shorts when he's witnessed the pair. Personally, I believe there is a medical or emotional situation (possibly both) that's at the root of the behavior, and the walking is some kind of emotional or mental salve to ease whatever ails the child. 
Whatever the actual reasons at play, it is a stark image that never loses my curiosity. It also stands as a great metaphor for the year as it has played out so far. Not only for myself, but for many others who are also feeling emotionally dragged down by the need to plod on despite all that's going on around us. 
*

On Monday, June 23rd, I gave my two week notice at my job. After almost 7 years there, certain aspects of it were starting to negatively affect my health and I decided to step away from the job market entirely for a bit so I could reassess some things. Some of the health stuff began at the start of the year, but had since snowballed into something I could no longer avoid or ignore. 
I had never worked for an agency before, and I very quickly found out that what little actual marketing experience I did have was...inadequate. But after a couple years, I settled in to the flow and got to understand more about the industry and new ways of thinking and operating. I also got to work with some absolutely brilliant and collaborative people. The vibe amongst my department coworkers (and those from other departments we worked closely alongside) was exquisite. It will be a impossible to replace, much less duplicate anywhere else. 
For the moment, I'm spending the majority of my time working on the next two books. I'll also start seriously looking for an agent, as well as any potential publishing houses looking for new work from undiscovered authors like myself. I don't suffer from the delusion that I will put out these books and that will somehow change my life; that hasn't happened before and it's unlikely to happen any time soon. But it will provide more literary leverage for agents to consider. 
I spend the first several hours of my day in my basement, writing. I'm keeping daily tallies of word counts on different pieces and projects and averaging about 3,000-4,000 words a day. I am constantly thinking about narratives and am able to jump into almost any story immediately because I've spent so much time outside of it, considering all its potential angles. This has been difficult to do while working full time as I found myself mentally drained at the end of most days. 
Progress on both of the next two story collections has been significant and exciting. I would love to have one of them done by the end of the year. 

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JUNE  (11 books | 1,756 pgs)

14.) The Wolf Wants Answers by Joshua Mohr (Novel, 236 pgs) | 4/5
15.) Storyforge: Advanced Writing Prompts for Seasoned Storytellers, Book 1 (Workbook, 100 pgs) | 0/5*
16.) Storyforge: Advanced Writing Prompts for Seasoned Storytellers, Book 2 (Workbook, 100 pgs) | 0/5*
17.) Alfred Hitchock & the Three Investigators #20: The Mystery of Monster Mountain by MV Carey (Young Adult, 172 pgs) | 3/5
18.) Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca (Stories, 281 pgs) | 2/5
19.) Alfred Hitchock & the Three Investigators #21: The Secret of the Haunted Mirror by MV Carey (Young Adult, 172 pgs) | 3/5
20.) Alfred Hitchock & the Three Investigators #22: The Mystery of the Dead Man's Riddle by William Arden (Young Adult, 145 pgs) | 3/5
21.) You Should Have Left by Daniel Kehlmann (Novella, 128 pgs) | 2/5
22.) Strange Houses by Uketsu (Novel, 208 pags) | 4/5
23.) Mapping the Interior by Stephen Graham Jones (Novella, 108 pgs) | 3/5
24.) The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw (Novella, 106 pgs) | 3/5

* I initially ordered books 15 & 16 for a friend and wanted to read through them to see if they were worth gifting as I'd never heard of the series before. When they arrived, I recognized they'd used AI art for all the imagery inside the books (they have that AI effect to them that's easy to spot). They also didn't credit any artists, so my assumption is that they also used AI to create the content on the pages as well. When inspecting the rest of their website, I found more of the same lazy garbage created for other genres and returned the books immediately. I would sincerely and actively avoid giving your money to the people that create this low-value crap. 

*


Life got a real weird real quickly this month. 
I've been working a second job as a tour guide for a local whiskey distillery in a fun part of town. I get to chat with locals and out-of-towners, give them a little history about the company, the building we're in, and the surrounding West Bottoms area (much of which I had no clue about and is pretty fascinating). 
This past weekend was my first weekend doing the full tour completely solo and without shadowing anyone else. Thankfully, all three of my tour groups were great and, while it was a super busy and mildly stressful day, everything went pretty smoothly and without any complications. 
Even had one gentleman on my last tour of the day buy my latest book while I was in the middle of giving a tour, so that was an unexpectedly cool moment. Got to sit and chat with him and his wife afterwards. Fun couple. 
You can find the company here: West Bottoms WhiskeyYou can book a tour with me here (Saturdays are your best bet): Tour with Bucho
Other things are happening elsewhere, but that news will come later as I get things figured out for the months to follow. 

*



I've got a couple of literary events coming up, but the only one I can talk about at the moment is the summer edition of the Boozy Book Fair happening at the Crown Center Sheraton Hotel in downtown Kansas City on Saturday, July 26th from 4pm to 9pm. 
I was fortunate to get a spot at the last one in February and had a fantastic time getting to meet a ton of new local authors as well as many others I've gotten to vend next to at various other events around the city. The last event had about 3,500 people in attendance and I'm betting this one will probably have more since the weather will be significantly nicer (though much, much hotter). 
There will be something close to 80+ vendors, creators, and authors there, all with something very literary for sale. If you're a word nerd near the Kansas City area, you've honestly got no reason to miss this.
You can find that event link HERE ON FACEBOOK. You can buy your event tickets HERE. 
I don't know where my table will be stationed in the exhibit hall yet, but if you follow the event page (and the organizer's main page), they'll post up a viable version of the event map in the next week or so. 

*

That's all I've got for now. Plenty of weirdness happening now and on the horizon, but those are thoughts for another day. 

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Wild year to come back to this series, but I'm glad it's back to allow a little escapism for those of us with darker hearts in need of filling. 

And the latest season mostly delivers. Certainly more so than season 6 did, but here's how I ranked those episodes: 

S6E1: "Joan is Dead" - This one was fine, if a bit over the top in moments (necessarily so). I give this one a solid 4/5. 

S6E2: "Loch Henry" - Loved this one for the tension. It's dark, no one wins, and the use of tech is present in a fun way. My second favorite episode of the season: 5/5.

S6E3: "Beyond the Sea" - My absolute favorite episode of this season. Great storyline, great worldbuilding, absolutely brutal ending that's so earned. A super enthusiastic 5/5 for sure. 

S6E4: "Mazey Day" - Absolute nonsense. This felt less like a Black Mirror episode and more like a creature of the week thing. The only episode worse than this one was the final one. Barely a 1/5, but only because there was the semblance of tech being leveraged here. 

S6E5: "Demon 79" - More absolute nonsense. I honestly don't know what they were thinking when greenlighting this. Has no business being in the series: 0/5. 

*

Now, onto the latest season. And again, it's mostly better...and where it's better is where it remains intensely focused on tech issues and tech problems that can be relatable, regardless of where they appear in the Black Mirror timeline. There is a deeper horror to be mined when the sci-fi aspects become married to the dirty, gritty realism we can recognize as the present. 

This is my belief, anyway. When the story's resolution comes at the hands of more fantastical or unreal elements is where it loses me (and many others that I know). 

The newest season's first episode, "Common People," does not suffer from this problem. In fact, it hits so close to home that it should make everyone very, very uncomfortable. 

The spoiler-free summary: a struggling couple suffer a medical emergency that causes them to make some tough financial decicions while dealing with other complications during their healing journey. 

The first appearance of a an common theme made me say out loud "oh absolutely not" and then they did. And to great effect. This was a tough watch in that it was so unbelievably relevant and relatable on several levels. Absolute banger of an episode: 5/5. 

 

The second episode, "Bête Noire," however, suffers from the previous season's issues. This had very real potential to be good, and was building up to a great outcome and then...a narrative switcheroo. 

The spoiler-free summary: a former classmate comes to work at the protagonist's office. Thereafter, bad things start happening to the protagonist, who tries to prove her theories as to what, why, and who. 

Don't get me wrong, this is a fine and interesting story on its own, but it doesn't feel like it belongs in the world of Black Mirror. Because of this, it was a really unsatisfying ending, personally: 2/5

"Hotel Reverie" is the season's third entry, and gives off really strong "San Junipero" vibes in a great way. Loved the implementation of tech horror here. There was also a fantastic use of time at play that caused some lovely interactions to occur. 

The spoiler-free summary: an actress in love with an old film gets a chance to portray a main character in a new rendition of the film. An accident during the filmmaking process changes her view of the film and its characters. 

Honestly, this was a stunning entry. Beautifully shot, fantastically acted and incredibly relevant to things we're seeing happening in the movie industry today. Another banger entry: 5/5. 

The fourth episode, "Plaything," has a fun tie-in to the interactive Black Mirror movie "Bandersnatch." The two are completely different stories, but they intersect in two very important ways that made this a fun viewing. 

The spoiler-free summary: A video game reviewer is contracted to do a write up on a new product from a video game designer. The game itself becomes a life-altering experience, which ends up sending the game reviewer down a path he never would've chosen himself. The story is mostly told through the lens of memory and how it all affects the present. 

Some interesting tropes being used here, but to good effect. The tension-building in this one is really the best part, as is much of the dialogue delivery. A fun episode with an interesting enough ending: 4/5. 

"Eulogy" was unbelievably unique in its execution. I kept expecting the wrong kind of twist with this one, and I'm glad it went down the path it did. Really fun set and design work with this one, providing some great practical effects to achieve narrative possibilities. 
The spoiler-free summary: a man finds out an old acquaintance has passed and is tasked with helping provide memories of their times together through unique tech advancements. 
I don't know what to say so as to not ruin this one. Masterfully done, and hit me on several levels I was definitely not expecting. Probably my favorite of the series: 5/5

So, Netflix kicked me out of my friend's account before I could finish the season, so I'll have to come back to this one. I don't recall liking the original USS Callister episode as much as others did, but I may have to revisit that one again before trying this one out...purely to remember some of the more salient parts that may (or may not) arise in this....sequel?

*

Anyway, this season was far, far better than season six. And, again, the show is at its best when it leverages tech and horror with each other while excluding anything related to magical origins or monster-of-the-week type stuff; those episodes have fallen really, really flat to me and a few others I've chatted with after viewings. 

I am, however, consistently surprised at how good the optimistic or "happy ending" episodes tend to be. Not that there can't be joy or resolution found in a dystopian landscape, only that they're incredibly refreshing when they occur. They temper out the bleak nature of a season nicely. 
There's also something to be said for a lot of the music choices this season. Really exceptional choices made, particularly all the classic rave tracks in "Playthings," that really helped solidify the vibe and the era of the story. 

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MAY  (7 books | 1,232 pgs)

07.) Francis Bacon, by Martin Hammer (Phaidon Focus) (Art, 144 pgs) | 4/5

08.) We Live Inside Your Eyes by Kealan Patrick Burke (Stories, 277 pgs)| 2/5

09.) Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica (Novel, 209 pgs) | 4/5

10.) At Dark, I Become Loathsome by Eric LaRocca (Novel, 227 pgs) | 3/5

11.) Inscrutable Cities by Julian K. Jarboe (Game Manual, 82 pgs) | 5/5
12.) We Were Called Specimens: An Oral Archive of Deity Marjorie (Stories, 139 pgs) | 3/5
13.) Nineteen Claws and a Black Bird by Agustina Bazeterrica (Stories, 154 pgs) | 2/5

*

I made mention in my last post about putting a pause on the work for An Atlas of Bone & Sorrow, my hybrid collection of fiction and nonfiction pieces addressing my own personal grief and how it affected my creative life (and my life in general). I did so because I felt a very serious creative momentum building up within me that had nothing to do with the project; my focus had shifted, as had the energy required.
So...I pivoted. I've begun another short story collection titled .corpsegod, and it's about as dark and as bleak a thing as I've ever conceived. Not unlike a batch of shorter, darker fairy tales in a setting not too dissimilar from ours except in some very disturbing ways and in some much more disturbing settings. 
I know this was the right decision as I've pumped out some 6,000 words on the first story in the last two days, a piece I'm calling ".ashmirth | THE FEASTING." The prose is flowing quickly and the story is mutating into something so much better than I'd initially planned for the piece, which is all to the good. Initially inspired by bits and bobs from movies like Return to Oz and The Menu, there is also some really dense political commentary occuring beneath the surface. I'm honestly loving the interwoven nature of the themes as they seem to be coalescing perfectly right now. 
There are currently some 28 or 30 stories slated for the book, all of which have titles and a basic premise attached. Some are further down the narrative rabbit hole than others, but all have a singular focus to them and I can't wait to finsh the first batch. There are about 7 stories currently in progress that have serious weight behind them. I can tell there's about to be a massive creative exodus from this old body of mine; it feels the way explosive bouts of creativity have felt in the past. Like electric energy waiting to unleashed. 
*
I've picked up a weekend job. I won't be discussing what that job is quite yet until I've gotten my sealegs there and feel like I can roll with the punches friends of mine may throw if they come to see me while I'm on shift. 
For now, though, it seems like a fun way to get a little walking in, enjoy the company of random strangers, and get to engage with people a bit more than I normally do during my regular work week. 
*
My next book event is happening in July; the summertime version of the Boozy Book Fair. Something like 3,500+ word nerds showed up back in February and I ended up damn near selling out every copy of my three story collections, which is really fantastic considering I write for a pretty niche audience. Honestly, it's something of a boon to be one of the few non-Romantasy writers at an event, even if your stuff borders on the "too weird for most" category. 
Event flyer below; FB event link and details below that. 

Saturday, July 26, 20254pm-9pm
Sheraton Kansas City Hotel at Crown Center2345 McGee St.Kansas City, MO. 64108-2604
Tiered Ticket Pricing: VIP/4pm Entry: $54.005pm Entry: $35.006pm Entry: $15.007pm Entry: Free
More information at the Facebook event link HERE. 
*

No new paintings since the last batch, but I've gone through and started revamping ideas for existing canvases that were stuck in mid-inspiration. I had a huge green canvas that I was going to turn into a fun abstract take of a Medusa bust on a pedestal, but I've since scrapped that idea, updated the "frame" on it from splotchy white to solid black and will almost certainly begin work on the new idea this weekend. Not a clue where I'll begin, but like every other piece, I'll place it on the workbench, stare at it for about 15 minutes, arrive at some decisions, and then get to painting. 
Until next time. 

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