Patrick Darcy's Blog

He’s a pitiful sight.

Seeing him like that.

Sad, Depressed and Crying.

It breaks my hart to see him like that.

You see, he got dumped.

On his birthday too.

What kind of man dumps you on your birthday?

Exactly!

So you see now why he’s so depressed.

I really don’t get it.

Go ahead and cry over your team losing.

Or over your mammy.

But to cry over a man?

Thats some messed up shit right there!

And as if this horror story couldn’t get any worse.

He tells me, after 6 months of dating, they had not actually fucked.

SIX MONTHS!!!

AND NO SEX!!

What kind of relationship was this?

Can you really call it a relationship, if you’re not riding?

Sounds like a platonic relationship with the odd snog thrown in.

Anyhow, like a true friend, I tried to cheer him up.

Help him get over him.

By getting his leg over.

So I let him bum me.

And what did he say afterwards, as we lay there?

“I miss him”.

Lord give me strength!

Miss what?

Can you miss something you wasn’t actually getting?

Hello intimacy?

So what is it that defines a relationship over a friendship?

It was a mistake!

I couldn’t help myself.

He was to blame.

I was seduced.

The harlot!

Ok, I admit it, I fucked up.

I screwed the receptionist.

Yes I know, I’m going to really regret it.

But his ass…. Oh My Gawd his ass!

So pert, so firm, so vulnerable!

So tight!

And he’s so shy, insecure and needy.

He’s perfect!

Was it worth it?

Well he is getting a bit clingy and over familiar.

And rather than making eye contact when we talk, he stares at my crotch.

I don’t know whether I should banish him to to the copier room..

Or just fuck him again to get it out of his system.

And mine.

No, you’re right…. I should just fire his ass.

Just kidding!

Yes, its true.

I’m old enough to be his father.

I’ve finally become a ‘Hot Daddy’.

Do I feel like a ‘Hot Daddy’?

Do I even look like one?

I must, though I thought they all looked like Max Vos?

Max is going to have to become my mentor.

Teach me the ways of hot-daddy-dom.

I’m going to need to grow a beard.

Bulk up.

Earn more money……

Drive a fast car.

But can I pull it off?

Do I have it in me?

I mean younger guys….

They can be totally insufferable.

All Justin Bieber and vodka shots.

Brings out the sadist in me.

What is the alternative to be a ‘Hot Daddy’?

Just an Old Queen?

I’m going to be the best damn Hot Daddy in Dublin!

I’m a ‘top’……mostly.

Or should I say, I mostly top. But I don’t identify as being a ‘top’, I just happen to top.

Get me?

I’m really quite enviously of bottoms.

Look at them groaning and moaning as they get oinked!

So every once in a while I bottom.

Truth is, I’m not a great bottom.

I’m all: ‘take it slow, not so hard, more lube!!’

Nothing like what you see in porn.

But anyway, I decided I needed to get my ass taken care of.

It’s not easy for me to find a man I’m willing to let top me.

I’m very, VERY selective.

Can’t be too big.

Can’t be dominant! I like to be in charge, even when I’m getting my ass stuffed full of cock.

Oh and he needs to be a total ride.

So anyway, there we are, getting down to it.

I’m face down, ass up- thats the way I like to fuck- and I realise that what I really need is a cock to suck on while I get fucked.

To take my mind off the (initial) pain.

So we put out an APB- top required asap.

GRINDR to the rescue- and then we were three.

Guess what…. I hated it.

I had thought I would be like a porno power bottom.

PaddyPowerBottom!

It was nothing like porn at all.

Every time he thrust into me it made me want to bite.

Biting isn’t good, when your mouth is full of cock.

Imagine him trying to explain that down at the emergency room!

Awkward!

So I’m not a ‘top’ but I’m really not a ‘bottom’ either.

But I endured, three come shots later I was back on the tram, heading home with a sore ass.

How do bottoms manage it? Are they really having fun or just faking it?

I’m sure you women know all about faking it, being married to ‘straight’ men and all that…..

But us gay men are clueless about faking……unless we’re faking being straight!

Come on, tell us bottoms, how do you do it!

No! Not me.

Other guys.

They’re always falling in love with me.

What’s not to love?

Exactly!

Who am I talking about?

Bottoms of course.

I know what you’re thinking.

The big headed gee bag !

But the truth is that young bottoms often fall in love with older tops.

It’s a universal truth: insecure bottoms are attracted to confident tops.

Now this is not always a bad thing.

Not when you’re a horny top who wants to fuck a hot tight bottom.

But when they tell you that they ‘really’ like you…..

You need to stamp on that shit right away.

Twinks are for mercilessly fucking.

Not for falling head over heels for.

Do I look like a dirty old man?

I’m a bleeding legge!

A young twink has no business falling in love with a man old enough to be his dad.

Dad not ‘daddy’!

A twink should fall in love with a guy his own age.

A person to discover the world with.

So who do horn dog tops fall in love with?

Good question.

Can I love?

Am I so old and wretched that I can not longer feel the buzz of love?

Just the thrill of the chase?

Chasing is a lot more fun than the boring normality of relationships.

It certainly takes a lot less effort to chase a hot ride than it does to maintain a relationship.

When I want to be with a guy it’s my loins that are speaking.

Not my heart.

At what age should you learn the difference between love & lust?

Do we ever learn this lesson?

Anyhow, back to my hot needy bottom.

I’m going to send him packing.

After one last ride.

He is hot after all!

There are few things in life more satisfying than making a bottom cum.

Seeing his hard cock throb with every thrust.

Pre cum oozing out.

Aching to cum.

Yep, its a hot sight.

I consider myself a hot top.

An attentive hot.

If Im doing my job right, my bottom is always hard.

So you can imagine when my bottom is as soft as a queen’s wrist I feel perturbed.

What am I doing wrong?

Thrusting- Yes.

Pounding at right angle- Yes.

Super hard dick in him- Yes.

Looking hot- Yes.

Smelling of sex- Yes.

Throwing him about- Yes.

Dominating him- Yes.

Being attentive to his needs- hmmm….

I can’t be.

If I was he would be hard.

Would’t he?

What was I not doing?

Maybe I needed to be more sleazy?

Ok.

ATM

CBT

Choking

More verbal

Hot wax on nipples

Still nothing…..

I’m not normally one for self doubt during sex.

I’m too busy enjoying the moment.

But there is only so long I can fuck ass for.

After 45 minutes of being in him I had to cum.

All over him pretty face.

So there we are, laying there.

Catching our breath.

And I’m thinking – was I any good?

He laying there looking a sweaty mess.

Very hot.

Normally I’d ask him if he wanted to shower AKA time you left.

But instead I asked- do you want to cum?

His answer- I don’t cum.

Well fancy that!

He doesn’t cum!

You’d think he was a married woman!

Subs today!

Cheating.

It’s a dirty word.

He’s a cheater, a low down dirty cheater!

Who wants to be called a cheater?

No one…… I guess.

It carries so much baggage, that word.

But really, I mean, is it always bad to cheat?

Take my friend Aaron.

Poor kid, literally, very poor.

Stuck in a dead end job, trying to make ends meet in an expensive city.

So he’s shacked up with some guy.

Who treats him good.

Puts a roof over his head.

But…..

Aaron wants to feel like a low down dirty slut.

To be used.

Hurt.

Objectified.

To please and serve.

Sadly, the boyfriend is just not able for it.

The boyfriend is a caring, loving, good man.

Thats why he chases Doms on Recon.

Guys who will tie him up and hurt him good.

He has one rule.

No marks, lest he give his sordid game away.

Though I think he would actually quite like that.

Get it all out in the open and get punished.

I don’t feel any guilt when I fuck him.

I’m giving him what he needs.

Keeping him happy and sated.

In a strange way, I’m also helping out his boyfriend.

By giving him his fix, I”m keeping them together.

Would I want to know if my other half was getting owned by half of Dublin?

Who’s to say that he doesn’t already know?

Maybe this is some kind of ‘arrangement’?

It’s impossible to keep a secret in Dublin.

Who are we kidding?

I’m sure he does know.

It gets him off to know that Aaron is out there getting fisted and whipped?

Note to self *I need a new crop*.

Isn’t that true love?

Allowing your demented submissive cum slut of a boyfriend to spread his hole?

That sounds like true love to me.

It’s true whet they say.

Familiarity does indeed breed contempt.

Bumping into the same Grindr shag time after time in the gym has made me wonder why?

Why the fuck did I fuck him?

What did I ever see in him?

He’s so timid, so insecure, so emasculated.

Like a good bottom he never looks at me.

And always stays on the other side if the gym.

Now its not like I’m going to fuck him on the pec bench!

Nothing could be further from my mind.

But I just don’t get why he would not exchange at least a smile of acknowledgement.

Like hello!

I’ve had my tongue up your ass and spunked all over your face.

But no.

Nothing.

Not even a hint of a smile.

Maybe I was a crap shag?

Maybe he wants to forget all about me?

Was I a crap shag?

Checklist:

Looked hot

Dressed good

Smelled good

Rimmed him

Choked him

Slapped him

Throat fucked him

Pounded him

Yep, the full repertoire.

Oh… yeah… there was that.

I”m not sure if he came.

Now I always like my bottoms to come.

But he was just so….so girlie.

I’m not sure clits can have erections.

Can they?

Who cares!

Really if he wanted to come he should have got hard.

But these uber subs are so timid that they are practically inverted!

Anyway, I’m going to put this whole sorry episode behind he.

But I do need closure.

So I’m going to pound his ass in the showers!

I can’t believe he did it!

I thought we really loved each other. 

We’re still not talking. 

I’m avoiding him.

I don’t know how we’re going to get over this?

All this drama, over a twink!

Admittedly, he’s a hot twink, but just a twink!

My buddy Mr R is totes upset.

He’s mad for the auld twinks.

And when he found out that his boyfriend had ridden the hottest twink in Kerry he was gutted.

We share everything!

I’d never do this to him! 

I really can’t trust him anymore. 

Lord give me the strength not to biatch slap Mr R!

Has he really done something that bad?

I mean OK so he rode a hot twink without you.

And that is truly unforgivable but……

But yeah!

How could he do that without you.

There is only one way to put this right.

Mr R must fuck this twink and force Mr B to watch.

He’s not allowed to join in, or touch himself biblically.

That will learn him!

Learn him good.

You see Mr R is not the jealous type.

No, not at all.

He’s just like me.

He does not want to miss out on the craic.

And this boys craic is fierce.

Whats the point of being gay if you have to live by hetro norms?

You may as well just give up and move to the suburbs.

Maybe you think just because he gays want to get married,

that we’ve finally become boring auld farts.

No, we haven’t!

Well not me anyway.

So as a true friend I’m going to be the peacemaker.

I’ve arranged for a clear the air threesome.

They can both ride the twink, ruin his man-gee and put this sorry episode behind them.

After all twinks are ten-a-penny.

But true love, thats as rare as hens teeth.

It’s the wives I feel sorry for.

Those poor women.

But you know what they say, you just can’t compete against cock.

Once a man has had a taste of it there’s no going back.

He’s going to be a homo-chollo and thats it.

That’s not to say he’s going to leave her.

Hell no, Irish boys never leave their mammys.

But mammys only going to get fucked once a year, when he’s shit faced drunk.

And full of guilt.

How do I know all this?

Louis was telling me all about it.

He’s one of the many Brazilian rent boys in Dublin.

He spends his evenings cross dressing and fucking married men up their holes.

I’ll never get ‘straight’ men.

They want to suck cock and get pounded into the headboards.

But not by a muscled hunk.

No, by a muscled hunk in a frock, answering to the name of Mariella!

Like  I said, I feel sorry wives.

But you know who I really feel sorry for?

Louis of course.

He’s a bottom having to top.

As you can imagine he is really a crap top.

All pounding and no finesse.

But  I guess he knows what his clients want.

As a true friend I had to give him a lesson on how to fuck ass.

A practical demonstration if you will.

I thought about charging him, you know, for the craic.

But I thought better of it.

The poor boy really can’t be waisting his precious G money on me.

Besides, those custom thongs that he wears don’t come cheap!

Well that was a real surprise.

I just didn’t know how they would feel.

Turns out that they feel just like they do on a woman.

You know, like boobs.

But then what else would titts feel like, if not like titts?

When I missed my flight back to Dublin I could have screamed.

But every cloud has a silver lining.

And thankfully Blake’s was that silver lining.

When the boys heard I had missed my flight they they were determined to make my day rock.

Several cocktails later I had managed to swap under pants with another guy.

Black and gold Calvins really suit me!

Flashed my piercing to everyone in the bar and groped the mermaids ample cleavage.

Fair is fair, I let her (encouraged) grab my junk.

Being a strange man, in strange land buys you many indulgences.

Namely in the form of kisses.

Everyone wants to kiss the man with the bizarre accent.

And why the hell not, I’m a total ride after all.

But a man needs to know where to draw the line.

The line is not after sucking off a hottie in the disabled jaxx.

I know I shouldn’t have.

But he claimed to have a nine inch cock.

How could I let such a boast go unchecked?

It was no idle boast……

And yes you’re absolutely right.

He was a complete bottom.

A ‘thirsty’ bottom.

The best kind……

Thankfully someone had the good sense to get some food into me.

But someone had the bad sense to horse more shots into me.

As you can imagine by this time my head was spinning.

So much so that I wanted to jump on the table, strip off and do River Dance!

You’ll be glad to know I settled for a kiss from my neighbour.

All good things must come to an end.

So as the clock chimed for midnight it was time to get my ass back to the airport and on a plane to Dublin.

Thanks for making my last day in America truly epic guys.

See you all in Dublin!