He’s a pitiful sight.

Seeing him like that.

Sad, Depressed and Crying.

It breaks my hart to see him like that.

You see, he got dumped.

On his birthday too.

What kind of man dumps you on your birthday?

Exactly!

So you see now why he’s so depressed.

I really don’t get it.

Go ahead and cry over your team losing.

Or over your mammy.

But to cry over a man?

Thats some messed up shit right there!

And as if this horror story couldn’t get any worse.

He tells me, after 6 months of dating, they had not actually fucked.

SIX MONTHS!!!

AND NO SEX!!

What kind of relationship was this?

Can you really call it a relationship, if you’re not riding?

Sounds like a platonic relationship with the odd snog thrown in.

Anyhow, like a true friend, I tried to cheer him up.

Help him get over him.

By getting his leg over.

So I let him bum me.

And what did he say afterwards, as we lay there?

“I miss him”.

Lord give me strength!

Miss what?

Can you miss something you wasn’t actually getting?

Hello intimacy?

So what is it that defines a relationship over a friendship?