Bill Thomas

“The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass all the time.”
― Bill Thomas

“Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people in the neighborhood started complaining to the parents about the boys. So the boys parents decided to have their priests talk to the boys. The priest asks to speak to the boys alone, requesting to see the younger first. The young boy comes in and sits at a large table across the room from priest. The priest looks at the boy, points at him and, trying to emphasize that God is in everyone, asks, “Where is God?” The boy says nothing. The priest walks around the table, pointing inches from the boy’s face and asks again, “Where is God?” The boy jumps out of his chair and runs out of the door. The boy runs right home, grabs his older brother and says to him, “We are in BIG trouble!” His brother replies, “We haven’t done anything!” The younger brother replies, “God’s missing, and they think we did it!”
― Bill Thomas, Just Kidding : Laugh Out Loud Jokes