Marlene Chism's Blog

For years, I believed something that served me well, until it no longer worked.

The belief was: If something feels uncomfortable, I should lean into it. That mindset helped me to speak up when it would have been easier to stay quiet. It also allowed me to work with strong personalities, or even difficult people as some would say. As a result, I built resilience, and I expanded my conflict capacity.

Then at some point, that same mindset started working against me, because I treated all friction as a signal to withstand, to endure, or to push forward. I even built a whole body of work about how to “release resistance.” The philosophy built on the idea that we just have to be willing to be uncomfortable in order to grow. I still embrace this idea that when it comes to growth comfort isn’t a requirement, but I’ve since come to believe that while comfort isn’t a requirement for growth, neither is misery.

Here’s how it’s shifted for me.

Not long ago, I was considering re-engaging with a leader I had worked with in the past. He was successful, powerful and direct. I might even categorize him as authoritarian, or a bit difficult to work with low level of awareness, and plenty of blame to go around.

A decade ago, I would have described the experience as “challenging,” but in a way that I felt proud to navigate. It’s as if I needed to prove something to myself.

As I thought about re-engaging, I noticed something subtle, and it wasn’t fear or nervousness. Instead, there was a distinct knowing that I had grown past working with this type of leader.
I was asking a very different question.

Instead of asking: What can I learn from this kind of friction and how can I grow? I was asking, “Is this growth or misalignment?” That’s when I realized that not all friction is created equal. Friction can stall you or can sharpen you.

Not All Friction Is Created Equal

In leadership, and in life, there are at least two very different kinds of friction: Growth Friction and Misalignment Friction.

Growth Friction is an acquired taste, the kind of friction that you need to embrace when you’re seeking personal or leadership growth. It feels like vulnerability, risking rejection, and navigating uncertainty. This kind of friction expands you. There’s nothing like the emotional high of feeling things you didn’t want to feel and doing things you were too scared to do. This is called progress, and even when we dread it, something whispers to us that it’s our work to do.

This kind of friction shows up when you’re raising your standards, reinventing your life, entering a bigger conversation, and making change that matters. If you want to grow, you learn how to build the skill of staying with it. You toughen up, become thick-skinned, more forgiving, and quietly effective. If you get a taste for that which is difficult, you start to confuse misalignment friction with growth friction.

Misalignment Friction is the kind of friction most of us misinterpret. It feels like pushing uphill with a person, overriding a system, managing someone else’s ego, over-explaining your value, subtle dread before the conversation even starts. Misalignment Friction has you compromising your standards and over-compensating for someone else’s disagreeableness. Misalignment Friction doesn’t expand you. It drains you.

And here’s the trap:

If you’ve trained yourself to “push through discomfort,” you might override this signal… and stay too long. You’ll be living from the old story that you need to push through, make exceptions, and tolerate the intolerable.

How to Tell the Difference

The distinction between Growth Friction and Misalignment Friction isn’t always obvious in the moment. Both feel uncomfortable. Both can involve strong personalities, ambiguity, and pressure.

So how do you know?

Growth Friction asks you to rise.
Misalignment Friction asks you to contort.

Let’s make that practical:

Growth Friction says: “This is hard, and I’m becoming more clear, more capable, more grounded.”Misalignment Friction says: “This is hard, and I’m becoming more confused, more depleted, or less myself.”Growth Friction sharpens your thinking.Misalignment Friction has you over-explaining and second-guessing.Growth Friction builds capacity.Misalignment Friction burns capacity.

One expands your leadership.
The other erodes your standards.

The cost of getting it wrong matters more than it seems.
When leaders misinterpret misalignment as growth, they don’t just drain themselves—they create execution risk.

They:

tolerate unclear expectationsdelay necessary conversationsover-accommodate difficult behaviorand normalize dysfunction in the name of “being adaptable”

And slowly, almost invisibly, standards drift.

Not because leaders don’t care.
But because they’ve mistaken endurance for leadership.

The Question That Changes Everything

So instead of asking:

“How do I push through this?”

Try asking:

“What is this friction asking of me—growth or alignment?”

That single question can save you months of wasted energy, compromised standards, and conversations that should never have been negotiated in the first place.

The post When Friction Isn’t Growth: A Leadership Distinction That Changes Everything appeared first on Marlene Chism.

An employee is sent home for repeated reliability issues. Instead of working through the leader who made the decision, the employee calls the founder.

The founder knows the employee’s history and remembers the early years. He understands the pressures of work, fatigue, and family responsibilities. His first instinct isn’t structure. It’s sympathy.

Then comes the sentence that explains almost everything: “We’re like family.”

The pride behind the phrase

In more than 20 years as a consultant, I’ve noticed a pattern in certain types of businesses, especially family-owned, founder-led, and franchise organizations: many strongly identify with “being like family.”

This identity holds a lot of pride. It suggests care, flexibility, trust, loyalty, and a willingness to go the extra mile. At its best, this culture is a strength. People help each other. Leaders know their employees’ stories. There’s warmth, history, and belonging that often large organizations struggle to maintain. Trouble emerges when family values conflict with business reality.

When care blurs authority

Without clarity, the “we’re like family” operating system creates conflict. For example, a founder builds a successful business over many years and eventually a new leader emerges in the succession plan. Sometimes that person is a relative or next-generation partner. On paper, the authority structure looks clear, but in daily practice, the old relationships still carry more weight than the new roles.

An employee with a long history in the company starts having reliability, behavior, or performance issues. The current leader addresses the issue. The employee doesn’t like the decision, so instead of working through the leader, the employee goes back to the founder.

The founder’s first instinct is compassion. But when compassion allows employees to bypass their manager, clarity erodes, authority weakens, and accountability breaks down.

The drama triangle at work

In that moment, the Karpman Drama Triangle emerges. The founder unintentionally steps into the rescuer role. The employee is positioned as the victim. The current leader is positioned as the persecutor. Suddenly, what should have been a clear performance coaching conversation becomes workplace drama.

The presenting problem looks like employee accountability, but the root problem is leadership clarity: Who’s really in charge? Who has decision rights? What happens when an employee bypasses their manager? Are top leaders aligned before they respond? Is compassion being used to support accountability, or to avoid it?

These questions matter because employees are always watching.

Employees are always watching

When one employee bypasses a leader and gets rescued, the precedent is set. Others learn that the leadership structure is optional. They discover that history matters more than performance. They see that accountability depends on who you know. They come to understand that if you don’t like an answer, you can simply appeal to someone with more emotional history.

That’s not family. That’s workplace drama.

The problem with “we’re like family” is not the caring. Caring is human. The problem is when caring becomes a substitute for clarity. In healthy families, love may be unconditional. In healthy businesses, employment is based on agreements: reliability, behavior, performance, trust, and the health of the business.

A better agreement: care, clarity and standards

A healthier culture does not require leaders to care less; it requires them to clarify more. Clarity has to start at the top, because accountability doesn’t survive without it.

Top leaders in any type of organization need to define decision rights before a crisis, not during and not after. They need to agree on how performance issues will be handled. They need to decide what happens when an employee goes around a manager. They need to speak with one voice, especially when emotions are high.

A lack of clarity is the first breakdown in accountability. The current leader wonders, “Do I really have authority?” The founder wonders, “Am I being too hard or too soft?” The employee wonders, “Who do I need to persuade?” The team wonders, “Why are we expected to follow standards that others can negotiate?”

The better path is to replace vague family language with clear leadership agreements that include a both-and mindset: Both family values and business priorities.

For example: “We care about you, and we also have standards.”

“We want to understand what is happening, and we will work through the proper leadership channel.”

“We are willing to support you, and we will not bypass the person responsible for managing this issue.”

Businesses that operate from family values have a real opportunity. They can keep the best parts of family culture: loyalty, care, history, generosity, and belonging. But they must pair those values with structure, role clarity, and accountability.

“We’re like family” feels warm. But “we lead with care, clarity, and standards” builds a lasting business.

This article was first published on SmartBrief for Leaders.

The post When Workplace Loyalty Undermines Accountability appeared first on Marlene Chism.

I recently attended my 50-year high school reunion.

Like many people, I approached it with mixed emotions. There was curiosity, nostalgia, anticipation, and perhaps a quiet awareness that reunions are never really about the event itself. They are about time. Identity. Memory. Aging. Loss. Perspective.

Out of more than 300 classmates, nearly 60 have already passed away. That realization alone changes the atmosphere of a 50-year reunion.

At some point, the event stops being about popularity, accomplishment, appearance, or status and becomes something much more profound: the simple awareness that the horizon is shorter than it once was, and that everyone present is fortunate to still be here.

Many people dread reunions beforehand. They wonder:
Do I even have anything in common with these people anymore?
I haven’t seen most of them in five decades.

And in some ways, the answer is no.

Some people are still carrying old identities.
Some have not grown very much.
Some have achieved remarkable levels of success but very little depth.
Some are still trying to prove something.
Some are still trapped in old stories about who they are supposed to be.

But underneath all of that is a deeper truth.

As Eckhart Tolle once suggested, whether in seven years or seventy, all of us eventually become dust.

Oddly enough, that reality gives people far more in common than their careers, accomplishments, politics, wealth, appearance, or social standing ever could.

At a 50-year reunion, people begin to recognize that life has humbled everyone in some way.

No one escapes loss.
No one escapes disappointment.
No one escapes aging.
No one escapes uncertainty.

Some people lost spouses.
Some lost dreams.
Some lost health.
Some lost confidence.
Some quietly rebuilt themselves after life fell apart.

And suddenly, the old labels begin to matter less.

The athlete.
The outsider.
The beauty queen.
The rebel.
The brain.
The shy one.
The popular one.

Time has a way of softening those identities, even when people still cling to them.

What becomes more visible over time is character.

Wisdom.
Kindness.
Humor.
Resilience.
Self-awareness.
Presence.

Ironically, by this stage of life, perfection becomes far less impressive than humanity.

Maybe that’s the hidden gift of a 50-year reunion.

Not reliving the past.
Not measuring who won or lost.
Not proving who became successful.

But recognizing, perhaps for the first time, that beneath all the stories and identities, people are far more alike than different.

Human beings, briefly here, doing their best with a complicated life.

The post What a 50-Year Reunion Reveals appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Learning to lead feels difficult for the same reason learning to dance does; you’re trying to perform before you’ve mastered the basics.

As a dancer, I’ve taken lessons in Tap, Ballroom, Latin, Lindy Hop, and West Coast Swing—and I see the same patterns in every beginner class.

Most beginners walk in carrying some level of insecurity.

They worry about being judged.
They feel clumsy.
They wonder if they’re holding others back.

And then there are a few who think they’re better than they are.

Leadership is no different. Every leader comes in with a different mix of ability—learning speed, coordination, confidence, and self-awareness. And they also bring different levels of desire and purpose, regardless of natural talent.

But here’s the distinction: Dancers understand something most leaders don’t.

1. The Basics Are the Foundation

In every dance class I’ve ever taken, we start with the basics, and not just once.

Over and over again.

At the time, it can feel repetitive—even unnecessary. Really great dancers keep returning to beginner classes to refine their fundamentals. Mediocre dancers avoid them—they think they’re above it.

I remember while taking a tap class, listening to the instructor walk us through the same foundational steps for what felt like the twentieth time. I was impatient. I wanted to get to the routines—the fun part, the impressive part. I remember thinking, “This is a waste of time.”

But then something shifted.

When we finally moved into a more complex sequence, the dancers who had dialed in the basics flowed. They stayed on beat. They adapted quickly.

The rest of us? We were a half-step behind, thinking too hard, missing cues, trying to keep up. That’s when it clicked: The basics weren’t slowing us down. The basics were the only thing making progress possible.

Leadership works the same way.

When leaders struggle, it’s often not because they lack intelligence, aptitude, or drive. It’s because they’ve skipped over the fundamentals:

Setting clear expectations (Carity)Addressing issues directly (Difficult Conversations)Managing conflict without reactivity (Capacity)Holding people accountable to agreed-upon standards (Measurement)Coaching for improvement and follow-through (Development)

Without these basics and a few others, everything else becomes harder than it needs to be.

2. Dancing and Leading are Not Checklist Activities

No dancer ever takes one class and says, “I’ve got it.” But leaders do this all the time. They attend a workshop. They read a book. They take one curated LinkedIn course. They get a certificate. They check the box, and then they move on—assuming the learning is complete.

Even senior leaders fall into this trap. They send their managers to complete a course, and assume the skill is handled, after all, there’s a “certificate” to prove learning took place. So, they continue to invest in one-and-done solutions, only to wonder why months later, there’s an execution problem.

Dancing isn’t a one-class event, or a six-week workshop, and neither is Leadership. it’s a practice. Over and over. Whether it’s dancing or leading, the moment you think you’ve “learned it” is often the moment your effectiveness starts to plateau.

3. Mastery Requires Practice—Especially When It’s Uncomfortable

One of the most difficult dances I’ve learned is Samba. (While I took the leap to compete in Argentina, the truth is, I’m just at the very beginning and continue to take lessons.) What I’ve since learned from staying with it, is you don’t improve by watching. Watching can give you awareness, but not skill or confidence. In dance and in leadership, awareness without practice is just intellectual entertainment.

You improve by doing—awkwardly at first. You miss a few steps. You get off beat. You feel exposed. And then, slowly, things start to click. All the hard work and expanding your comfort zone start to pay off. You feel confident and proud of yourself for overcoming your barriers.

Leadership follows the same path. You don’t get better at difficult conversations by avoiding them. You don’t build clarity by hinting or hoping people “just get it.” You don’t develop presence by staying in your comfort zone.

You get better by practicing—especially when it feels uncomfortable.

The Bottom Line

There was a moment a few weeks ago on the dance floor when everything felt easy. The music, the connection, and the rhythm felt like magic. It all clicked. I remembered a time when this particular dance would have been uncomfortable if not difficult. I said to my dance partner. “Wow, for all the work we do and all the difficulties we overcome in class, when we dance like this, it’s a reminder of why we do it.”

If leadership feels harder than it should… if conversations feel awkward… if things feel out of sync…It doesn’t mean you’re bad at leadership. It means you’ve skipped the fundamentals and the practice that make leadership work.

Leadership, like dance, isn’t about knowing more. It’s about practicing what matters—until it becomes second nature.

And once it does? That’s when everything starts to flow.

The post Why Learning to Lead is Like Learning to Dance appeared first on Marlene Chism.

You’ve probably heard the idea: “Ask who can do this instead of how can I do this.”

This concept was life-changing for me as it has been for others. As an entrepreneur, founder, or leader, it’s the right frame when you find yourself micromanaging, feeling stuck, or striving to scale. It’s a powerful shift when you stop trying to figure everything out yourself and instead, find the right people so you can move faster.

But I’ve also seen this idea misapplied in a way that quietly undermines execution.

Because in certain cases … “How > Who.”

The Problem with Always Skipping “How”

Entrepreneurs especially love leverage. So, they jump quickly to “who,” because it frees them to do what they do best. They hire someone to run the system, organize the work, or build the process.

But if they haven’t taken the time to understand the basics themselves, they don’t understand what good looks like, what questions to ask, or what’s not working. When results fall short, they assume they don’t have the right person, but that’s not always the problem. The problem is that they outsourced clarity.

I would venture to say that “Who not How” works best when you’ve already done the “How” over and over, and you’re wasting precious time on something someone else could do better and faster, or you understand the “How” but you aren’t necessarily quick or good at it.
Let me offer two possibilities, where skipping some of the “how” creates unnecessary damage and execution risk.

1. Building Leadership Identity

You don’t become a leader by delegating everything you don’t know how to do, and you certainly can’t delegate character building or learning how to become a better decision maker. In fact, you become an effective leader by developing the judgment to know what matters, what good looks like, and where execution breaks down.

That requires understanding and at least a little bit of “how to.”

If you skip “how” too early, you don’t build leadership identity—you build dependence.

2. Having Difficult Conversations

This is where the lack of knowing how causes multiple problems, most of them invisible before they become visible. (This is exactly why I developed The Performance Coaching Model: To teach leaders a framework for having these hard conversations.)

When leaders avoid learning how to have difficult conversations about behavior and performance, they go straight to the “who.” That who is generally Human Resources. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen an HR person write up the PIP or do the “dirty work” that the manager wouldn’t do or didn’t know how to do. This is an example of abdicating responsibility and outsourcing real accountability.

Why should the employee be disciplined when his own manager didn’t have the capacity to have a conversation? Execution broke down at the conversation that should have happened, but instead got delegated to HR. And over time, HR becomes responsible for work that belongs to the manager, the director, and the senior executive.

The Real Equation

What’s the real distinction between who versus how?

“How” creates discernment.

“Who” creates scale.

Without discernment, scale just multiplies problems.

The Leadership Shift

The real issue isn’t whether you choose “how” or “who.” It’s whether you have the discernment to know the difference.

Discernment comes from understanding:

What good looks likeWhat’s requiredWhere things break down

And that doesn’t come from delegation. It comes from development. You can outsource and delegate almost anything. But you can’t outsource your own development.

The Bottom Line

“Who not How” creates leverage. You can outsource someone to pay your bills, clean your office, and manage your calendar. But you can’t outsource your inner game—your clarity, your judgment, your discernment.

There are some things you have to learn “how to” do. Not to master them. But to recognize what good looks like. Because if you don’t understand the basics, you won’t build something better. You’ll accept something that reflects your confusion—not your goals.

And if you avoid learning how to lead conversations, you don’t build accountability. You outsource it.

Execution doesn’t break at accountability. It breaks at clarity—and at conversation.

The post Why Some Leadership Can’t Be Delegated appeared first on Marlene Chism.

For many executives, nothing is technically “wrong.” The business is running. The team is capable, and the results are acceptable, yet decisions feel heavier than they should.

Important conversations get postponed. Energy is being spent, but traction feels uneven. This isn’t usually a confidence problem or uncertainty about the future. More often, it’s a lack of clarity in the present moment.

I need to make an important distinction here. We often use the word “clarity” when we really mean “certainty.” We will never have certainty, but we always have enough clarity to take the first step. Sometimes clarity shows up like a lit candle instead of a floodlight.

Clarity doesn’t mean knowing how everything will turn out. It means knowing what you stand for, what matters now, and what you’re responsible for next.

The good news?

Clarity isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you create. Here’s how.

1. Know What You Want

Have you noticed that most people can easily articulate what they don’t want far more easily than what they want? Ask anyone the question: “What do you want?” and listen. What you’ll hear is “I don’t want…” and “Here’s why I can’t have what I want.” Knowing what you want, whether or not you think you can have it, is the first step to clarity. Knowing what you want doesn’t require certainty about the outcome. It requires honesty about direction.

2. State Your Values

Values aren’t inspirational phrases; they’re decision filters. If your values aren’t stated, it’s easier to get off course. I’ll never forget when I said my mission was “to improve communication and relationships everywhere.” It sounded so good on paper. What came to my attention was the need to curb sarcasm and eyerolling, as these behaviors didn’t align with improving communication and relationships everywhere. Stated values serve as a north star, not only guiding decisions. But exposing misalignment.

3. Understand What Truly Matters

When everything’s a priority, nothing gets sustained attention. Clarity requires making trade-offs explicit. Progress often doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from deciding what will no longer receive your time, attention, or resources. If you notice that things aren’t getting done in your organization, I guarantee execution isn’t breaking at accountability. It’s breaking at either clarity or conversation. The moment a leader notices that priorities are out of order, it may be that there are too many priorities and you aren’t setting up your team for success. Once you have the clarity about what’s going on, the next step is a conversation. Execution almost always breaks at conversation.

4. Choose a Direction

Clarity requires commitment—even provisional commitment. A direction isn’t a life sentence. It’s a working hypothesis; one step at a time, in a chosen direction. But this is where many leaders get stuck: they build a plan before establishing direction. Here’s why: Plans can create a sense of productivity. There’s comfort in checking things off a list. But a plan without direction is just organized activity.

Direction comes first. The plan follows. The purpose of a plan isn’t certainty—it’s alignment. It helps you stay on course, not predict every outcome.

A plan is a guide, not a god.

Choosing a direction reduces mental noise and gives you somewhere to aim.

5. Tell Yourself the Truth

Telling yourself the truth is the hardest step—and the most powerful. It means acknowledging what you already know but haven’t fully named. Telling yourself the truth requires answering some difficult questions: What are you willing to do to get what you want? What’s required? Are you willing to move forward even in the face of uncertainty? Clarity stabilizes when you stop fantasizing about what you wish could be, and you face reality as it is, then make a decision to do what’s required.

Conclusion

Clarity doesn’t eliminate risk. It eliminates confusion. When leaders recognize a lack of clarity, they act—by defining what matters, choosing direction, and telling the truth. In complex environments, clarity is not a luxury. It’s a leadership responsibility.

The post How to Create More Clarity Now appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Organizations talk a lot about transformation. There are planning sessions, strategy decks, and ambitious initiatives designed to move the business forward. Yet many of these efforts stall long before meaningful change occurs.

In my work with leaders, I’ve noticed a pattern. Before real change happens, organizations often pass through what I call the three tragedies of change. What I’ve discovered recently is that the personal journey of reinvention is parallel to organizational change.
(You can watch a recent podcast where I share it in simple language.)

The First Tragedy

Something is off, but you can’t really name it.
Leaders say they want change. They talk about improvement. But wanting something isn’t the same as being willing to confront the realities that must change. The same happens personally when you know you want something more but don’t know what it is.

The Second Tragedy

We know what’s wrong, but don’t believe it’s fixable.
Teams analyze the situation, hold meetings, and explore options. The conversation feels productive, but no one has actually crossed the line into commitment. The parallel in your personal life: you know what you want, but don’t believe it’s possible.

The Third Tragedy

We want the change and believe it’s possible, but we don’t want the risk. This is characteristic of the mindset of resistance. Wanting something but not being willing to do what’s required. Many leaders want guarantees before they move forward. But certainty is a feeling based on prediction. Leadership requires something different—clarity about what must be done next. The parallel personally: You want something more, you know what it is, you believe it is possible, but now you have to take the leap into the unknown.

Real transformation, whether it’s personally or organizationally, begins when at the fulcrum point of change—the moment willingness replaces hesitation.

That’s when conversations become decisions, and decisions become movement.

In a recent SmartBrief article, I explore how leaders can recognize this turning point and why so many transformations stall before it ever arrives.

The post The Three Tragedies of Change appeared first on Marlene Chism.

For more than two decades, I worked inside a manufacturing food plant, wearing a uniform, hairnet, steel-toed boots and rotating stations. I did everything from packing cheese to stacking skids to driving forklifts. On Fridays we tore down equipment for sanitation. On sanitation nights, I used to take a deep breath and say, “I can do anything for eight hours.”

What I learned on that factory floor, while going through a stage of reinvention and desire for change, is the same dynamic I now see in large-scale corporate transformations.

Transformative change passes through three stages.Initiatives don’t fail because of strategy.Transformation strategies fail because leaders miss the fulcrum point of change.

Both individuals and organizations move through three predictable stages before real change happens. I call them the Three Tragedies of Change.

Tragedy One: Something’s Off, but We Can’t Name It

In the first tragedy, you feel some friction. Perhaps you notice a lack of engagement, some unwanted turnover, some performance dips or certain initiatives stall. You see an execution gap and can’t quite diagnose what’s happening. The language is vague:

“Morale is low.”“Communication could improve.”“We need alignment.”

In organizations, this is where execution risk begins to spread quietly. You sense something is misaligned, but no one has the language to diagnose or define it clearly.

Tragedy Two: We Know What’s Wrong, but Don’t Believe It’s Fixable

At this point, we’ve made some gains in naming the situation. It sounds like this:

There’s a lack of follow-through.We have a culture of mediocrity.Accountability is missing.It’s time to do a reorganization to straighten things out

In this stage, it’s easy to think the system is stronger than personal agency. You’ll hear statements such as “That’s just how it is here,” and “We’ve tried before, and nothing changed.” At the core, there’s learned helplessness and frustration. Over time, beliefs shift and hope emerges.

Tragedy Three: We Believe in Change but Avoid the Risk

At this stage, the leadership team knows what must be addressed, and there’s a clear definition of the situation, the outcome, and the obstacles. The first attempt is to do what feels like progress: It’s the getting ready to get ready stage. This is where a 90-day plan is developed, a lunch and learn is presented, and a reorganization is planned. These initiatives are activities designed to avoid the risk of doing the difficult work that change requires.

Tragedy Three is where most initiatives quietly die. The desire is intact, the belief lives, but there’s a need for a mental and behavioral shift to align with the place where change happens.

The Place Where Change Happens

There is a place where change happens. I call it The Fulcrum Point of Change. Change doesn’t happen just because there’s a 90-day plan, or a reorganization so that two conflictual people can work in peace, and it’s not in the consensus, the certainty, or the strategic plan. The place where change happens is a mental and behavioral state—an emotional energy, if you will, and it’s called willingness.

Willingness is the Fulcrum Point of Change: The place where change happens. You must have the willingness to do difficult things:

Confront operational truthDefine constraintsAcknowledge trade-offsRisk being misunderstoodHave difficult conversations about performance and behaviorCommit to building a culture of accountability

I learned these principles through embodiment. When I decided to leave the plant, I didn’t have certainty or a guaranteed outcome. I had enough clarity to make a distinction; to know that even though I didn’t know much about a new future, I knew one thing clearly: “This isn’t it.”

That was enough light to take the first step. And the amazing thing about clarity is that sometimes you start with just enough clarity to take one step, but with each step you get more clarity until you have the clarity of the sun.

In executive settings, I see leaders waiting for certainty before acting. But certainty is a fantasy, and clarity is an awareness and a decision.

The Executive Choice

In executive settings, I often see leaders waiting for certainty before acting, because certainty feels safe. But certainty isn’t what drives change. Certainty is a feeling, based on prediction. Clarity, on the other hand, is a flicker of light; an awareness that leads to a decision.

The fulcrum point of change is a state of willingness. The way to identify the opportunity is when there’s stagnation. Once you notice, you can discern what you’ve been unwilling, up to this point, to see or take action on.

All the planning, strategy sessions, and 90-day plans in the world won’t move the needle unless leaders are willing to act. Because at scale, willingness at the top becomes momentum everywhere else.

Without that pivot, even the best strategy remains theoretical.

This article was originally posted on SmartBrief.

The post The Moment Change Becomes Possible appeared first on Marlene Chism.

If you’ve invested in leadership development, workshops, and other initiatives that didn’t change behavior or produce expected results, you’re not alone.

Organizations spend billions annually on leadership development, yet many still struggle with the same problems: underperformance, communication breakdowns, and lack of accountability. If your leadership training isn’t translating into visible, measurable behavior change, don’t blame the leaders. Blame the unrealistic expectations and the outdated model of leadership development.

1. The Illusion Of Progress

We’ve all seen it. A charismatic facilitator. An energized room. A workbook full of aha moments. Then… silence. Back to business as usual. Traditional workshops often create an illusion of progress–emotional engagement without behavioral follow-through. Why? Because one-time events don’t create new habits. They spark awareness, not transformation.

2. Theory Without Traction

Off the shelf, “Training in a box” often sounds good in theory, but lacks real-world application and lacks coaching expertise. Leaders walk away with ideas but no way to implement them in their daily context. Without access to real expertise, it’s like learning college algebra. It makes sense in the classroom, but doing homework alone, you’re lost in the woods.

3. The Talking Head Trap

Organizations hire facilitators who are polished presenters but lack the experience or credibility to guide real behavior change. Yes, they’re great speakers, and they have enthusiasm. They might even be “certified” in a course, but their deep understanding is limited at best. The result? Inspiration without transformation.

4. Firehose Learning = Shallow Results

When a workshop dumps too much content in too little time — with no reading, no follow-up, or study — it overwhelms rather than empowers. One-off retreats without coaching are just expensive off-sites.

5. Champagne Expectations, Soda Budget

Organizations often want premium outcomes on a shoestring budget. No budget + No time + Great expectations is comedy and drama. I used to say, “Just get a clown and throw a pizza party,” rather than pretend you’re developing your leaders. There’s no shortcut to deep learning.

6. No Coaching, No Change

This may make you angry, but I’m going to say it: Most leaders do not know how to coach. They tell you to do something. But as the saying goes, “telling ain’t training.” I’ve seen this over and over again, when a director tells a manager to “go have that conversation. There are two underlying roots to this problem. The manager doesn’t know how, and the director doesn’t know how to diagnose the problem. So they send the manager to a workshop with a trainer. But there’s another problem with training.

Most trainers train, but they don’t necessarily coach or advise. Trainers and facilitators may know the material, but can’t draw outside the lines of the teaching. Unfortunately, even great training won’t stick without structured support afterward. Coaching and advising bridges the gap between knowing and doing–without it, new skills fade fast.

To read the rest of the article, click here and discover how to shift from event-based to ecosystem-based learning.

The post Why Your Leadership Training isn’t Working appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Senior leaders rely on your front-line and mid-level managers to institute accountability, but most front-line and mid-level managers feel like they’re trying to solve a mystery when it comes to building an accountable department. So, let’s break down the mystery.

Many leaders avoid conversations about performance or behavior altogether. The reasons range from lack of skills, fear of the emotions that might arise, or the belief that their decisions won’t be backed by their senior-level manager. If employees don’t know what they’re doing wrong, they can’t improve. So, initiating difficult conversations is a big piece of the puzzle.

But when these leaders finally initiate a successful conversation that they’ve been avoiding, they feel elated! The tension of avoidance has dissipated and is replaced by a natural high that always comes from taking one act of courage.

Unfortunately, it’s common for the leader to be surprised a few weeks later when old patterns of poor performance, missed deadlines, or dysfunctional behaviors creep back in!

I’ve heard both new and seasoned leaders say, “I had the conversation, and they improved for a while, but now they’re back to old habits!”

What happened?

The leader didn’t know how to follow through with accountability.

Let’s first look at the phases so that you can troubleshoot when this happens to your leader.

Phase 1: The leader avoids a conversation for various reasons. Tension builds up between the leader, the team, and the employee until the leader must take action.

Phase 2: The leader finally summons the courage to initiate a conversation, and to their surprise, it goes well. The leader is confident, and there’s a glow—a feeling of well-being.

Phase 3: Things go well for a couple of weeks, then old patterns resurface.

Phase 4: The leader loses confidence and feels resentment.

Now the leader has to figure out whether to prepare a warning, document the problem, discipline, or initiate yet another conversation. These phases can ruin leadership confidence!

Where did the mistake happen? In Phase 2. The leader felt so good and so positive after the conversation that they failed to set up a second meeting for accountability—to review the progress.

When coaching front-line and middle-level leaders, make sure they connect the dots between the actual conversation and the follow-up conversation.

Here’s how it goes.

Right after the conversation, schedule a two-week follow-up meeting to see how things are progressing.

Before concluding the meeting, plug in a follow-up meeting on the calendar and send a calendar invitation to the employee.

At the follow-up meeting, the leader explains how they are going to measure progress and what kind of coaching might be required.

Knowing there’s a follow-up ensures that if things fall through the cracks, the leader can easily course-correct the problem, versus letting a problem go on for months. In addition, pre-scheduling the meeting prevents you from having to ask for another conversation if things get off track.

We teach the specifics of this method in The Performance Coaching Model. But let me say something even more important. I recently had a director reach out to me to say this: “I bought the Performance Coaching Model to have better conversations with my subordinates, but it has helped me even more to address issues with peers and my senior VP’s.

Photo by Katja Ano on Unsplash

The post The Accountability Gap No One Talks About appeared first on Marlene Chism.