Andrea H. Rome's Blog

I’ve had some downs in the past month. Several large book events have passed on my application (even ones I have participated in before). It made me feel like my short-lived book career was already petering out. Was there something wrong with me? Was I not flashy enough? Did I not invest in enough fancy booth signage or decoration? Had everyone who wanted my books already bought them?

And then I ended up on a “Best of KC” list that I never expected to be on…like ever. I was delighted and perplexed. How did they get my name? How did they decide I was “worthy?” Am I? Now I have to ask people to vote for me in order to win this city-wide popularity contest?

And then book sales slumped. Everyone is tired of me. No one is reading what I wrote. Why bother?

My point? It feels random. Success isn’t a straight line with a slope of 1. The ups and downs of who is reading and noticing. On any given day I am either floating or sinking. I let the data of the day batter me about until I feel bruised and small, even when good things happen.

Social media doesn’t help. The algorithm is constantly flinging expensive solutions in front of my eyeballs to sell more books or gain more followers. It makes me feel like I’m not doing enough. If I only purchased ads, and performed click testing, and optimized my SEO keywords, and, and, and. On the one hand, it makes me feel like it’s all within my control. Like if I just did one more thing, that would be the tipping point. But I know that isn’t true.

I really need to get out of that water. Stop bobbing around. Write the stories that make me happy. Put in some marketing effort but stop pretending that I can control the outcomes. Continue writing book 3 with the full knowledge that sales of a third book are limited to only the people who bought and read book 2. Should it matter? No. It shouldn’t. But in my brain, right now, it kinda does.

I keep reminding myself: “It takes 10 years to become an overnight success.”
Very few (if any) authors hit it big with their first book. Sometimes a first book doesn’t even get published. Brandon Sanderson, for example, has shared that he wrote 12 or 13 novels before one got picked up. Many writers labor in obscurity until, one day, for no reason at all, something they wrote goes viral. Or not.

That surely can’t be the goal.

Really, I need to change my goal. Write the best thing I am capable of writing at this moment (and allow myself to grow and improve with each new book.) And then share it. Maybe it hits. Maybe not. That shouldn’t be as important as the story itself. Is it entertaining? Does it change someone’s outlook or make someone happy or provide an escape? Does it inspire someone else to write also? Could it inspire someone to pick up the tools they possess and reason out a solution? Will it make someone brave?

If yes, that’s really cool. And that’s enough.

Whenever you put a book out in to the world, you expect some people to like it and others--not so much.

I've maintained my Goodreads for many years now (10+ at this writing), and I've used it as a way to keep track of my reads, and as a tool for sharing what I've liked. My star rating scale was bell-curve shaped. Very few books received 5 stars. Most books landed around a 3 or 4. And I would share what I liked and what I didn't from each story, thinking that my thoughts would be appreciated and may spur conversations about the works I was reading.

Several years ago, I removed all but my 4 and 5 star ratings. I didn't want my bell-curved scale to mess up any author's ratings simply because most people tend to rate 5 stars unless something was truly amiss with the book. But I kept my write-up. My thoughts. My praise. My criticism. And that worked for me, until I became an author.

I published my first book last January. And it has truly been a delight to share my words, the stories in my head, with the world. But it was jarring when I received less than a 5-star on this platform. Oh crap! I thought. Is this what other authors feel like when I post anything less than 'amazing' on their book? Or maybe other authors are smarter than me, and don't read their goodreads reviews. But it's really hard not to.

Even when someone does share well-meaning criticism, I've realized I can't do anything about it. If a plot point didn't land... If you didn't connect with a character... I'm not going to change my published story based on feedback. (But I might ask you to be a beta reader for my next one!)

So then I wondered, is it better if I say the things? Or not? If I can't say something nice, don't leave a review? Leave the reviewing to the professional critics, and only be a voice of positivity in the world? What would I want others to do on my works? And am I inviting bad Karma when I get a bit too critical on an otherwise entertaining/competent book? (Probably...)

I can't bring myself to say I liked a book when I actually didn't. But perhaps I need to soften my approach. Nothing harsh. More good than bad. And a simple statement of "Not for me" when I truly can't find anything else to say.

After all, criticism is easy. Actually doing the thing--the work and struggle to write a book and put it out there--that's really hard. And I think I'd rather build those folks up instead of tear them down.

As a follow-up, I will be modifying my prior reviews as time permits. And going forward, I want to be a less critical person. We'll call it attempted character growth. Thanks for reading!