Jeremy Pack's Blog

Once upon a time, I was a skinny, shy boy whose parents clung to a rung just below middle class. I was introspective, interested in intellectual things, much, much too clumsy to play sports, and not big enough to make an impression. I have never been particularly beautiful or funny, never quick enough to formulate witty repartee. In short, I’ve always been rather ordinary in most respects.

And yet… for whatever reason, I was somehow gravity that the playground bullies orbited around. When I was in second grade, this very mean little girl named Stormy discovered me. Every day she would come at me with her entourage to shove me and call me names like “pussy” and “freak.” She made fun of my home-cut hair, my unfashionable clothes, my small frame, whatever would elicit a laugh. I have never understood why it made her feel so good to make me feel so bad.

While I can only vaguely remember the content of Stormy’s taunts, I remember vividly how ashamed I was and the sick feeling that would arise in my gut whenever my little sister would threaten to tell my mom what was happening. What if all the things Stormy said about me were true and my mother, the person I loved the very most in the world, would suddenly see me for who and what I really was? A skinny, badly dressed, pathetic, wimpy… nobody. How could she ever love me if she knew the truth?

My little sister—bless her heart—has always been a fighter. She takes no crap. Eventually she did tell my mom. I can remember that conversation like it was yesterday. I can still feel my mother’s hands on my cheeks wiping away my tears, and I can hear her voice as she looked into my eyes and said, “The next time she calls you a pussy, you tell her ‘Well, at least I can walk. You have to roll.’”

Do you know why I remember those words so clearly? (Apart from the funny?) I remember them because of the love and acceptance in my mother’s eyes and the soft touch of her hands on my face. Even if Stormy thought I was worthless, my mother didn’t. In her eyes, I was somebody, and I was special. This is a lesson I carry with me today and every day of my life. One that I’m reminded of often in quiet moments with my daughter or my partner when I’ve had a particularly difficult day.

I often wonder what happened to Stormy. Do her cronies—those mean kids who laughed at her cruelty—stand beside her in her dark hours? Does that laughter sustain her the way my mother’s love raises me above the hurts and heartaches that life sometimes throws my way? Doubtful.

Why am I sharing this story?

I want this to serve as a reminder to my fellow authors that you are special. You are somebody. You are worthy of respect. Not everyone will love what you write, some people may even hate it, but there are others—many, many others—who will appreciate what you have achieved. It takes unbelievable courage to reach in, pull out a piece of your soul, and put it on paper for the world to examine. It takes heart, a lot of hard work, and countless hours filled with anxious dread.

I want to remind you—all of you—that there will come a moment when a reader reaches out, lifts your chin, and says, “thank you, you touched my heart.” That memory will last a lifetime. It will fill your heart and raise you up. And that, my friends, will be a precious, wonderful moment that the Stormys of the world will never know.

Remember this when the Stormys find you. Walk proudly along and let them roll on by.

In the two weeks since To Touch the Stars released, I’ve been overcome so many times by the kind words and encouragement sent my way by folks who have picked up the story and shared Nick and Tait’s journey. As I said in my acknowledgements, my fondest hope was to open one mind or one heart to what we can achieve when we dare to reach for the stars—and it seems it is a hope fulfilled.

I’ve been very privileged to receive personal stories from readers who remember man’s first steps on the moon, who recall a friend or loved one being shunned for being gay,  who also marvel at how far we’ve come since the ‘60s and ‘70s, and how little vignettes took them back in time. These are precious moments for me, deeply treasured.

I wrote this book as a tribute to those people who dared to love the person their heart had chosen for them, who dared to defy those who said a woman’s place was in the home, who dared to study medicine despite their farmworker roots. The world of today is more just, more colorful, and more rich for their bravery.

I can recall a time growing up when my own dreams—rather bland and ordinary by some standards—seemed impossibly out of reach. All I ever wanted was a family, and yet it once seemed utterly impossible. Thanks to the courage of countless men and women I will probably never meet, here I am, a man having achieved that humble, but extraordinary goal.

That is what To Touch the Stars means to me. It is a simple story, but one that is steeped in all of my life’s wishes and fears, made possible because of people like Nick and Tait who followed their hearts, no matter how far away their stars seemed to be. More to the point, though, the truest acknowledgement of these courageous souls is you—the reader of this post—who embodies all that their bravery has achieved. You have opened your heart and were willing to embrace a story about two men falling in love. In my mind, that is the greatest tribute of all.

Thank you…. More than I could ever say.

To Touch the Stars is now available! To all who choose to embark on this journey with Nick and Tait, know that I am honored and blessed by your readership. It is the best and most beautiful gift one can give to a writer, and makes the hard work and tears all worthwhile.

Off to huddle in a corner and snuggle my woobie. I’m a nervous wreck!

Dreamspinner Press:  http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=3172
Amazon: http://amzn.com/B0091O1Q7M
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/to-touch-the-stars-jeremy-pack/1112647649?ean=2940015206098
And just about anywhere else books are sold online…

A limited number of signed paperback copies are available from Dreamspinner Press if you’re dying to get a load of my godawful penmanship. [image error] )

[image error]Over the past several weeks, I’ve gone dark–I promise I have a good excuse.

To Touch the Stars, my second novel originally slated for an October release from Dreamspinner Press was moved forward in the publication queue to August 24th. I waited until now to make the official announcement as I wanted to be sure I was able to meet all of the editorial deadlines. (You never know!)

Unlike my previous release The Heart of the Jungle, this story is not a mystery, although there are certainly moments of high-action and a couple of twists and turns. Instead, To Touch the Stars is a work that has particular significance to me because it was written as something of a tribute to the men and women who have struggled for equality over the years–the courageous few who lived and loved openly and made my life, my dreams possible.

I recognize that my humble offering is not equal to the countless acts of bravery that brought our society so close to the dream of full acceptance for gays and lesbians, women, racial minorities, and anyone else who has struggled beneath opression, but at the end of the day, my hope is that readers walk away with a sense of how far the world has come since the starting point of this tale (1966) and experience the same wonder and gratitude I feel when I realize how very fortunate I am to be a beneficiary of those sacrifices.

A further announcement will be forthcoming when the book hits the Dreamspinner Press store, but for now, I’d love for you to visit the book’s page on my website. There, you’ll find the full-size, beautiful cover created by the incredibly talented Catt Ford, the blurb, and a preview of the text.

I am so excited to be able to share this story with you and thank you, sincerely, for your readership!

Jeremy Pack is a writer of fiction about men who happen to be gay. You’re as likely to find him thrilling to a midnight release of the latest popcorn actioner as weeping in the greeting card aisle to a particularly touching Hallmark card. It is these tastes that inform his storytelling. A fan of car chases, heartmelting sentiment, and head scratching puzzles, he strives to pepper his stories with all three. Born and raised in a small-town in Idaho, Jeremy now resides in the Pacific Northwest with his partner and their weak-in-the-knees-cute, but teenager-precocious six-year-old daughter. Jeremy believes the best part about writing is making connections with readers!

E-mail: http://www.jeremy-pack.com/contact/

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/JeremyJPack

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/JeremyPack1973

[image error]May has been such an exciting month for me. With the release of my first book, The Heart of the Jungle on April 30th, I realized a lifelong dream… and sudden, intense anxiety. For the first two days, I waited in dread for the reviews to start coming in and wishing I could just go back to waiting for the rejection letter from the publisher. Disappointed readers are far, far more frightening than a pink slip you can quietly tuck away in a drawer and forget.

I’m happy to say that the reviews so far have been heartening—maybe I should keep at it for a few more books at least… I am, of course, grateful for the praise I’ve gotten, but also for the critique. One builds confidence, while the other builds skill, and I’m grateful for both.

Mostly, I’ve been completely overcome with gratitude for all of you who have reached out to me, who have welcomed me into the M/M romance community, and who have taken a risk on my work. Your overwhelming kindness means more to me than I will ever be able to say. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

Now for the reviews (that I’m aware of):
5/2/12 – Pixie at MM Good Book Reviews – 5/5 Stars
http://mmgoodbookreviews.wordpress.co...

“Was I disappointed that there was only a touch of sex… no. Because, this story fed me so much more than just romance; it fed me intrigue, mystery, twists, hope, despair, desolation, unwanted lust, guilt, danger and betrayal. This story didn’t miss a spot and if you want a true thriller, mystery, suspense book to read then this is it and I highly recommend you go get this book and thoroughly enjoy the journey it takes you on.” -Pixie, MM Good Book Reviews

5/7/12 – LadyM at Reviews by Jessewave – 3.5/5 Stars
http://www.reviewsbyjessewave.com/201...

"As I said at the beginning, a small part of my criticism stems from the high expectations I had after reading the great beginning of this story. I recognize that your experience will also depend on your mileage in the mystery genre. It’s quite possible that your impressions will be significantly different than mine. The author has a great command of language and obviously a lot of imagination. In fact, considering that this is his first novel, I suspect that Jeremy Pack will be a wonderful addition to the genre.” -LadyM, Reviews by Jessewave

5/20/12 – Amos Lassen at Reviews by Amos Lassen – No Rating Given
http://reviewsbyamoslassen.com/?p=16319

“Pack’s characters are skillfully drawn and his plot line is excellent. He plays down romance in deference to suspense and action so it is quite basically a mystery with a touch of romance and a bit of sex. For a first novel, this is an excellent read and a beautiful swan dive into the pool of LGBT literature and I am completely sure that when Pack comes up for a breath, it will be with yet another wonderful new book.” -Amos Lassen, Amos Lassen Reviews

5/24/12 – Nicci at Twilb Reviews – 4/5 Stars
http://twlibreviews.com/2012/05/revie...

“Jeremy Pack makes his debut into the writing world of M/M Romance and Mystery genres, hence, I will refer to as M/M Romantic Suspense. He does a wonderful job keeping me engaged to the narrative, drawing me into the suspenseful, tensed world of murder. I hope he will continue writing M/M Romantic Suspense. He has the skills to improve on and I for one will be looking forward to more books from this author. Recommended for the mystery thriller and a touch of romance.” -Nicci, Twilb Reviews

5/28/12 – Christi Snow at Smitten With Reading – B+
http://smittenwithreading.blogspot.co...

"I enjoyed this book. It was quick-paced and the suspense kept me guessing almost throughout the entire book. The romance ramped up before the chemistry was really there for me at the beginning of the book, but by the end, I completely believed in Jason and Chris as a couple. The epilogue was fabulous and perfect for this story. I look forward to reading more from this author again!” –Christi Snow, Smitten With Reading

Again, my very sincere gratitude to each of the reviewers who not only took the time to read my book, but wrote a review. Your feedback and encouragement are beautiful gifts.

New News:
On 5/8/12 I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Pixie at MM Good Book Reviews. (My first ever interview!)
http://mmgoodbookreviews.wordpress.co...

On 5/19/12 I hosted a “Meet the Author” event on Dreamspinner Press’ Facebook page. I had a GREAT time. There are a couple of excerpts from the Heart of the Jungle in the notes. I also posted an original short entitled “Brianna” which you can download on The Heart of the Jungle page on my website.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/dreamspinn...

On 5/20/12 My second novel, tentatively titled “ To Touch the Stars” was contracted with Dreamspinner Press for release in October, 2012. This story is very personal to me and I can’t wait to share it with all of you. I’ll be getting the pre-release campaign underway in September with some really fun initiatives, so be sure to keep an eye out!
http://www.jeremy-pack.com/books/to-t...

Today, you can find an early blurb of my current work in progress, tentatively titled “The Lock and the Key”. If I stick to the outline, this story will be non-stop suspense and brain-bending puzzles from beginning to end. I am having an absolute blast writing it! I’ll be sure to keep the progress updated as I hit my milestones on the way to my targeted November, 2012 submission.
http://www.jeremy-pack.com/books/lock...

And last, but not least, today is your last chance to enter The Heart of the Jungle Sweepstakes. I’m giving away a NOOK Simple Touch, a $35 gift certificate to Dreamspinner Press, and a copy of The Heart of the Jungle to the grand prize winner. Three paperback copies are also up for grabs. Be sure to get your entry in before midnight! Ellie will be picking winners from a hat tomorrow.
http://www.jeremy-pack.com/hotjgiveaway/

May has been such an exciting month for me. With the release of my first book, The Heart of the Jungle on April 30th, I realized a lifelong dream… and sudden, intense anxiety. For the first two days, I waited in dread for the reviews to start coming in and wishing I could just go back to waiting for the rejection letter from the publisher. Disappointed readers are far, far more frightening than a pink slip you can quietly tuck away in a drawer and forget.

I’m happy to say that the reviews so far have been heartening—maybe I should keep at it for a few more books at least… I am, of course, grateful for the praise I’ve gotten, but also for the critique. One builds confidence, while the other builds skill, and I’m grateful for both.

Mostly, I’ve been completely overcome with gratitude for all of you who have reached out to me, who have welcomed me into the M/M romance community, and who have taken a risk on my work. Your overwhelming kindness means more to me than I will ever be able to say. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

Now for the reviews (that I’m aware of):

5/2/12 – Pixie at MM Good Book Reviews – 5/5 Stars

http://mmgoodbookreviews.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/the-heart-of-the-jungle-by-jeremy-pack/

“Was I disappointed that there was only a touch of sex… no.  Because, this story fed me so much more than just romance; it fed me intrigue, mystery, twists, hope, despair, desolation, unwanted lust, guilt, danger and betrayal. This story didn’t miss a spot and if you want a true thriller, mystery, suspense book to read then this is it and I highly recommend you go get this book and thoroughly enjoy the journey it takes you on.” -Pixie, MM Good Book Reviews

5/7/12 – LadyM at Reviews by Jessewave – 3.5/5 Stars

http://www.reviewsbyjessewave.com/2012/05/07/the-heart-of-the-jungle/

“As I said at the beginning, a small part of my criticism stems from the high expectations I had after reading the great beginning of this story. I recognize that your experience will also depend on your mileage in the mystery genre. It’s quite possible that your impressions will be significantly different than mine. The author has a great command of language and obviously a lot of imagination. In fact, considering that this is his first novel, I suspect that Jeremy Pack will be a wonderful addition to the genre.” -LadyM, Reviews by Jessewave

5/20/12 – Amos Lassen at Reviews by Amos Lassen – No Rating Given

http://reviewsbyamoslassen.com/?p=16319

“Pack’s characters are skillfully drawn and his plot line is excellent. He plays down romance in deference to suspense and action so it is quite basically a mystery with a touch of romance and a bit of sex. For a first novel, this is an excellent   read and a beautiful swan dive into the pool of LGBT literature and I am completely sure that when Pack comes up for a breath, it will be with yet another wonderful new book.” -Amos Lassen, Amos Lassen Reviews

5/24/12 – Nicci at Twilb Reviews – 4/5 Stars

http://twlibreviews.com/2012/05/review-the-heart-of-the-jungle-by-jeremy-pack/

“Jeremy Pack makes his debut into the writing world of M/M Romance and Mystery genres, hence, I will refer to as M/M Romantic Suspense.  He does a wonderful job keeping me engaged to the narrative, drawing me into the suspenseful, tensed world of murder.  I hope he will continue writing M/M Romantic Suspense.  He has the skills to improve on and I for one will be looking forward to more books from this author.  Recommended for the mystery thriller and a touch of romance.” -Nicci, Twilb Reviews

5/28/12 – Christi Snow at Smitten With Reading – B+

http://smittenwithreading.blogspot.com/2012/05/heart-of-jungle-by-jeremy-pack.html

“I enjoyed this book. It was quick-paced and the suspense kept me guessing almost throughout the entire book. The romance ramped up before the chemistry was really there for me at the beginning of the book, but by the end, I completely believed in Jason and Chris as a couple. The epilogue was fabulous and perfect for this story. I look forward to reading more from this author again!” – Christi Snow, Smitten With Reading

Again, my very sincere gratitude to each of the reviewers who not only took the time to read my book, but wrote a review. Your feedback and encouragement are beautiful gifts.

New News:

On 5/8/12 I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Pixie at MM Good Book Reviews. (My first ever interview!)

http://mmgoodbookreviews.wordpress.com/2012/05/08/interview-with-debut-dreamspinner-writer-jeremy-pack/

On 5/19/12 I hosted a “Meet the Author” event on Dreamspinner Press’ Facebook page. I had a GREAT time. There are a couple of excerpts from the Heart of the Jungle in the notes. I also posted an original short entitled “Brianna” which you can download on The Heart of the Jungle page on my website.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/dreamspinnerpress

On 5/20/12 My second novel, tentatively titled “ To Touch the Stars” was contracted with Dreamspinner Press for release in October, 2012. This story is very personal to me and I can’t wait to share it with all of you. I’ll be getting the pre-release campaign underway in September with some really fun initiatives, so be sure to keep an eye out!

http://www.jeremy-pack.com/books/to-touch-the-stars/

Today, you can find an early blurb of my current work in progress, tentatively titled “The Lock and the Key”. If I stick to the outline, this story will be non-stop suspense and brain-bending puzzles from beginning to end. I am having an absolute blast writing it! I’ll be sure to keep the progress updated as I hit my milestones on the way to my targeted November, 2012 submission.

http://www.jeremy-pack.com/books/lock-and-key/

And last, but not least, today is your last chance to enter The Heart of the Jungle Sweepstakes. I’m giving away a NOOK Simple Touch, a $35 gift certificate to Dreamspinner Press, and a copy of The Heart of the Jungle to the grand prize winner. Three paperback copies are also up for grabs. Be sure to get your entry in before midnight! Ellie will be picking winners from a hat tomorrow.

http://www.jeremy-pack.com/hotjgiveaway/

[image error]I am so grateful to everyone who read my Hop Against Homophobia post and reached out to me. In my mind, this event was about sparking conversation, and almost 50 people did just that by taking the time to comment. Multiply that by the 250+ other bloggers who participated and that adds up to a whole lot of conversation! Wonderful!!

Discrimination, hatred, homophobia… These topics are very top-of-mind for me, because even though I’ve grown a thick skin over the years, I’m painfully aware that my child has not. Unless we keep having these conversations–fighting back against the ugliness–Elise could suffer splash damage simply by virtue of who her parents are. Unthinkable for a parent to contemplate a child’s heartbreak. 

To the 50 courageous people who took the time to comment, discuss, and share with others, as well as everyone else who read the post, that is what the conversation means to me: A brighter tomorrow for my family, one that you each light the way toward with kindness, open hearts, and your belief in the ideals of dignity, compassion, and true equality. I am humbled and genuinely thankful you found me worthy of your time.

I chose four winners of an eBook copy of my novel, The Heart of the Jungle–one for each day of the Hop–and even that feels an inadequate expression of my gratitude. Congratulations to the following commenters who will be contacted separately to arrange delivery:

Sara York (May 17)
Andrea (May 18)
L.J. (May 19)
L.M. Brown (May 20)

[image error] To bring awareness to The International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, today I stand in fellowship with the amazing authors, publishers, bloggers, and supporters of the m/m romance community.

If you're prepared to be utterly scandalized, click the link below to take a homophobe's tour of my obscenely gay lifestyle. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Introducing My Gay Lifestyle

Leave a comment to be entered to win an eBook copy of The Heart of the Jungle and check out all of the other amazing and inspiring stories intended to raise awareness of Homophobia around the world.

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In honor and recognition of the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, I’d like to take you on a homophobe’s tour of my scandalous gay lifestyle. Step right up… if you dare.

***

Well hello there, Mr. Homophobe! Welcome to my home. Don’t just stand there gawking. Please, come on in and make yourself comfortable. I know that’s hard to do, after all, this is a gay house, and that’s really scary.

Let me give you a little rundown on what to expect. Off to the right, we have some really gay potted plants. There in the middle is the uber-gay brown… err, mocha… sofa, and back against that wall is the gay old grand piano in a positively outrageous shade of ivory… scandalous, I know. It just screams Liberace, doesn’t it?

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You’re looking a little pale. Is everything okay? Is this too gay for you? Try shallow breathing through the mouth. You know how to do that, right? Oh, the fragrance is bothering you? Don’t worry, it’s not the magical elixir of gayness. It’s just a lavender candle and the Mr. Clean with Fabreze we use to scrub the floors. I bought both at Costco–that’s a pretty straight place–so you shouldn’t have to worry.

Allow me to introduce you to my gay grandparents. They’ve been married for almost sixty years. They live with us even though we’re a terrible threat to the bedrock of their lifelong union. God bless them, I can only imagine how trying it’s been to value their vows, considering that our relationship is so destructive to the very foundation upon which they are based. All I can say is that these people are saints.

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Speaking of: Would you like to have a peek at the gay apartment I built for them? (Gran, you don’t mind, do you?) Follow me to the north wing. I know it’s hard to believe I did all of this construction myself. I can absolutely, positively assure you I did so with the utmost of gaiety. Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper played non-stop.

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Did I mention we have a daughter? Ellie is six now, and let me tell you, I have been a terrible corrupting influence on her. I’m sure you can tell from these family photos hanging over here. I know, wall of horrors, right?

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There’s the one of me looking all gay on the day I brought her home from the hospital. I was careful to coordinate my shirt with the receiving blanket. Those dark circles I painted under my eyes were supposed to be a statement of devoted fatherhood to fool the hospital staff. I worked hard to make them look natural. Do you think they look natural?

 

And that one there, where I’m (gasp) gay lactating? In public, even! The horrors that poor child has had to face….

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But if you think all of that was bad, I’m warning you now, this one where we’re all at Disneyland is really, truly awful. I can’t be responsible for your therapy bills if you choose to look.

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Can I offer you some gay coffee? Water? Tea? How about a gay cookie? Ellie and I gay made them in our gay kitchen. Gran’s recipe.

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No? You’re dieting? Oh, you’re worried you’ll catch the gay. I can’t blame you, really. I mean, if you were going to catch the gay, you’d certainly get it from eating a gay cookie gay baked in a gay kitchen. Most sensible of you. Most sensible.

How about a peek in the backyard? We gay garden out here–see, that’s it over there. And we gay barbecue. And we have a couple of gay dogs. They don’t bite, but sometimes they do prance gaily after their gay rubber ball.

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Oh, just a second, the great outdoors reminds me. We go gay camping in the summer. We pitch a gay tent, catch gay fish, and make a gay campfire. (We gays know all about flaming, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.) Here, let me show you a picture.

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Wait! Where are you going? I was just about to show you the gay shed where I keep my gay lawnmower and the gay tools I use to fix my gay car! Hey! Come back! Was it the winking and nudging?

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Tongue-in-cheek aside: I believe much homophobia is based on ignorance–ignorance that is bred from the intolerance, fear, and misinformation spread about gay men and women by those who would choose hatred over the truth. Our best defense against such bigotry is awareness. We must live our lives openly, with honor, dignity, and grace. These are our most powerful weapons against those who would seek to marginalize us.

Kindness and compassion will always prevail—because these aren’t just gay values, they’re human values. That’s something we can all get behind.

Please take a moment to comment, to keep the conversation going–one commenter will win an eBook copy of my newly released novel, The Heart of the Jungle. And do please spend some time reading the other blogs in the Hop Against Homophobia, all are written by amazing and talented folks, and there are prizes to be won, too! (I hyperlinked it for you. See how convenient that is?) 

I’m so grateful that you stopped by, and I sincerely hope you enjoyed learning all about my gay life and all of the blessings of family and home I’m so fortunate to call my own. My world is filled to overflowing with beautiful people and the precious gifts of boundless love and support. It is my fondest wish that one day, everyone of every stripe will be able to say the same. It’s been my great honor to share it with you.

My special thanks to the organizers of this event for the opportunity to participate and do my own small part to raise awareness for such a worthy cause.