Alex A. Kecskes's Blog

Writing believable, effective dialogue in a romance novel can be a challenge for even the most skilled novelists. But when your dialogue works, readers will fall in love with your characters and keep turning those pages. Romance readers are especially demanding about dialogue because they're in it for the emotional connection, the tension, and the rush of falling in love. I learned about writing dialogue the hard way—when my beta readers rebelled and said, "Your characters don't sound real. They would never talk like that." Humbled, I went back to my story and slowly learned how to write dialogue that works.

Good Dialogue Must Multitask.

I call it the three Cs of good dialogue: Character. Conflict and Coming soon (foreshadowing). Something I learned in my days writing screenplays. Dialogue is one of the fastest ways to build/reveal character. And dialogue should also be used to show conflict. When you're at the store or in a restaurant, people around you are talking. You're really not listening, but when they start to argue, your ears perk up. And if they keep it up, you'll eventually take sides. Now you're hooked. So have your characters fight, argue, and disagree. Finally, dialogue can be very effective at foreshadowing. It points readers in the direction you want them to go. And deep-six the info dump dialogue. Don't have characters tell each other things they both already know.

Better than Real People Talking.

If you listen to real people, they say "um," repeat words, trail off, or sometimes take forever to get to the point. You need to distill real speech into something more focused, sexier, and more revealing. Unless your characters are addressing royalty, use contractions. The best sexual tension often happens fully clothed, in conversation.

Master the Art of Subtext.

In romance, what people DON'T say is usually more provocative and interesting than what they do. Their words may appear neutral, polite, banal, or even the opposite of what they really mean. But it's the thoughts, emotions, intentions, motivations, or information that your characters are communicating indirectly (or sometimes deliberately concealing) that can be surprisingly effective. An example from Pride and Prejudice. Darcy: "She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me." Subtext: He's desperately trying to convince himself he's not attracted to Elizabeth because she's "beneath" him.

Give Your Characters Distinctly Unique Voices.

Each of your characters should have a distinct speaking rhythm (short clipped sentences vs. long rambling ones). They should have favorite words or verbal tics. Give each different intimacy levels (who says "fu*k," who says "darn," and who switches depending on emotion).

Do the Read Aloud Test.

If it feels awkward when you speak it, it'll feel weird on the page. Romance dialogue needs a certain pacing and rhythm like poetry. Record yourself reading it. Play it back and listen. Picture your character saying it. In terms of pacing and rhythm, don't forget to use silence and interruptions. Lovers tend to interrupt each other constantly. A strategically placed em-dash or ellipsis can heighten sexual tension.

Action Beats & Dialogue Tags.

Don't go crazy trying to come up with clever dialogue tags. Replace half your tags with action beats that show body language. Don't be afraid of the word "said." It tends to disappear if the dialogue is compelling.

Romance readers can be kind and tolerant. But they won't forgive dialogue that doesn't convince them that two people are falling hopelessly, messily, believably in love. Make every word earn its place on the page.

When writing a historical romance novel, the choice isn’t really “pretty vs. plain Jane” in the modern sense. It’s more about the kind of fantasy you’re selling and how many sparks you want flying between the heroine and the hero (and the reader). Here are some options to explore in the genre, ranked by current market performance and reader satisfaction:

Stunningly beautiful, but Unaware

Your heroine or society refuses to acknowledge her good looks. This is currently a big winner on historical romance bestseller lists. Your leading lady is objectively gorgeous, and your hero notices it right away. But for plausible reasons like poverty, mourning clothes, being “on the shelf” at 23, red hair in a blonde-obsessed era, or the town, village, or province has written her off as “unremarkable” or “striking but not pretty.” Given all this baggage, your hero still harbors an obsessive attraction to her. That, combined with his resentment that no one else sees what he sees, draws him ever closer to her.

Classically Pretty with “Unmarriageable” flaw

This is, by far, the second-most-popular pretty girl. Her saving grace is that the “flaw” is something that today’s readers find beautiful or trivial (freckles, curly hair, too tall, a scar, being a widow with a “past,” etc.). It offers readers the delight of following a beautiful heroine while still letting her be an underdog. This can be especially effective in marriage-of-convenience or enemies-to-lovers tropes.

Genuinely Plain

This is rare but can be enticing for readers. When it works, it hits extremely hard and tends to become a cult classic. A skillful author can pull this off by making the reader fall in love with her through personality, wit, kindness, or competence. Here, the hero’s attraction should feel earned and visceral, not just that he learned to look past her looks. Modern indie attempts at truly plain heroines usually fail unless the author has some gravitas in the genre.

So for today’s market expectations, if you’re writing for wide commercial appeal, go with breathtakingly beautiful but underrated/ignored for reasons of class, circumstance, or one “unfashionable” feature. If you’re writing a deeply emotional, character-driven romance and cater to a smaller but fanatical readership, a genuinely plain heroine can be extraordinary, but it’s high-risk. Finally, average-looking and perfectly nice rarely works as the heroine in historical romances. Most are not looking for “relatable mediocrity” in this genre.

Romance readers love heroines who are real, unpredictable, and magnetic. Perfect dolls who are introduced only to be saved or seduced are cliché and boring. Some suggestions on how to elevate your leading lady from “likable” to “unforgettable”:

Make Her Competent

Most of today’s romance readers get turned off by heroines who only succeed when the hero is in the scene. So allow her to be the best at something the hero respects (or even envies). Keep in mind that competence is sexy. Insecurity is something most readers can relate to, but constant helplessness can be both off-putting and infuriating.

Have Her Struggle with Contradiction

The most appealing heroines wrestle with tension within themselves. Internal conflicts serve to fuel character growth and romantic tension.

Her Flaws Should Sabotage the Relationship

Instead of cute quirks that magically vanish in act three, set up her flaws to actively sabotage the relationship. This sets up the story so that your hero must fight for her in a way that truly matters. She may ghost suitors the moment feelings get real. Or be so self-sufficient that she forgets to let anyone ever help her.

Add an Unladylike Edge

Maybe she has a tin ear and terrible taste in music. Perhaps she learned to swear a bit by listening to her brothers. Or maybe she cheats at board games. Or she may be a bit of a hoarder who collects unusual things. Perfect princesses belong in Disney cartoons. Women with rough edges can be unforgettable.

Give Her a Life Outside the Hero

Your heroine should have more going on than just pining over her love interest. Insert her in a chaotic friend group that embarrasses her. Or keep her busy managing her career. You might even give her a secret hobby she’s reluctant to admit to her love interest—like attending underground cage fighting or gambling just short of addiction.

Make Her Uniquely Funny

This can take the form of dry sarcasm, absurd observations, inappropriate timing, or pure chaos. The key here is that it must fit her personality and be something she owns.

Give Her Control of the Sex Scenes

Let her start the lovemaking at least half the time. Let her toss him on the kitchen table because she’s done waiting. Let her laugh during sex, or cry, or say something nasty that shocks even him. It’s the unexpected that keeps those pages turning.

Have Her Past Surface in the Present

A physical or emotional scar she’s embarrassed about. An ex she may still love or feel an attraction to. Or maybe a crime she committed she got away with in her early days. Make it a past indiscretion that continues to haunt her decisions.

Have Her Change the Hero

Too many stories have the male lead change the heroine. The best romance heroines are those who act as a change agent. At the end of your story, a different man should emerge due to her refusal to fit into his world.

Whether you’re writing a sweet rom-com or a slow-burn seductive thriller, it’s important to create realistic, emotionally compelling obstacles for your main character. Some suggestions:

Begin with Your Character’s Deepest Wound

A strong obstacle grows organically from who your character has become. What past injury, pain, or struggle defines them? What belief system did that wound create? How does that belief make finding and falling in love feel so perilous? If they grew up surrounded by conflict, this creates a pathway to avoiding relationships and conflict. If a previous or past partner abandoned them, they may not trust declarations of love.

Create a Goal that Conflicts with Love

A character’s life ambitions should collide with love. Your character’s dream job may require relocating. Or a sick parent or sibling may take up the emotional headspace they need to fall in love. Maybe they're rebuilding themselves financially, and dating irresponsibly makes them feel untethered and vulnerable. Love must complicate whatever they treasure most.

They’re Compatible but Don’t Mesh

Two people may be meant for each other but struggle to align their strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps an overly meticulous planner just can’t seem to dovetail with a spontaneous risk-taker. The same holds for a caretaking, self-sacrificing character set against a fiercely independent one. Or you could have someone who talks through conflicts and problems collide with an individual who simply shuts down under stress. These scenarios let you create believable conflict without villains or melodrama.

Use External Pressures to Intensify Internal Obstacles

The goal here is not to make external obstacles come off as random. Instead, they should confront a character’s internal flaws or wounds. Perhaps a challenging job that calls for secrecy, making trust exceptionally difficult. Or a family’s high expectations that expose a character’s fear of disappointing others. In some cases, a rival love interest could serve to highlight a character’s insecurity without taking up the story’s entire conflict. What you’re going for are external obstacles that force your character to confront what they fear most.

Allow Both Characters to Make Human Mistakes

Make your characters behave like flesh-and-blood humans, not caricatures. Create realistic tension from ordinary imperfections—like misreading each other’s intentions, sidestepping important conversations, or being afraid to first show vulnerability. Your characters come alive when they hold on to their pride after an argument or try to protect each other in ways that sometimes don’t make sense or appear irrational.

Morph Your Obstacles

Obstacles rarely remain static. They escalate in uncomfortable and unpredictable ways. Small misunderstandings often erupt into real emotional friction, resulting in deeper revelation of insecurities. This forces characters to make major and sometimes life-altering choices, which ideally makes your characters grow. Keep in mind that realistic obstacles should ultimately lead your characters to confront a belief or fear that keeps them from healthy love. Obstacles must change them and teach them about themselves or about love. To achieve this, they must take emotional risks, which gives true romance the emotional payoff readers crave.

Clear and Sympathetic Motivation

Throughout the sturm and drang of overcoming obstacles, and especially when your character makes mistakes, your reader should think, "I understand why they did that—even if it hurts." Remember, when motivations are clear, obstacles feel earned, relatable, and deeply emotional.

Your main character usually should have more than one flaw. A character with multiple imperfections grounds them in reality and makes them relatable. That said, not all flaws need be prominent. Some suggestions:

• Pick One Major Flaw. This will help drive the story and shape your romantic journey—this could be fear of vulnerability, pride, or low self-worth. Then add one or two secondary flaws that add texture—like impatience, sarcasm, or excessive independence.

• Ensure the Flaws Mesh. A smaller flaw can serve to reinforce a larger one—such as stubbornness underscoring a fear of change.

• Don’t Go Crazy. Too many flaws may make your character seem unstable or inconsistent. No flaws, and your main character will seem like a cardboard bot. Balance is the key.

• Female Character. For example, if your main character is a female, she may have a fear of vulnerability. She may not believe in lasting love. So she’s always keeping her guard up, never letting anyone in close, which shapes her romantic arc. The other minor flaw could be control issues. She may plan every detail of her life and job. She avoids emotional chaos, which frustrates her love interest, who is spontaneous and dislikes rules and excessive structure.

• Male Character. If your main character is a male, his main flaw could be a fear of settling down. When things get serious, he makes light of it and changes the subject. While this keeps things light, it prevents him from facing emotional depth. He may also suffer from the minor flaw of restlessness. This may make him seem exciting to be with, but it leaves those around him with the feeling of never being able to keep up with him.

• Dovetailing Characters’ Flaws. This creates an interesting dynamic. His core flaw (fear of settling down) could be challenged by her ability to make him feel both free and grounded. Then, as his secondary flaws soften, he could learn to stay grounded to face uncomfortable truths instead of constantly trying to outrun them. Both characters grow as the story progresses—each meeting in the middle to achieve vulnerability and trust.

Introducing your main character’s love interest is a key element in any romance novel. It’s that initial spark that moves the story forward. Some suggestions on how to make that moment unforgettable and riveting:

Pick the Right Moment

Bring your love interest into the story when your protagonist’s life or emotional state falls into desperation or near collapse. If they're very bored, emotionally vulnerable, or injured, your love interest should come to the rescue or at least shake things up with a ray of hope.

The Unforgettable First Meet

Keep this in mind: how they first meet will invariably set the tone of their relationship. There are several “meets” that are often used. First, there’s the funny, awkward, or sweet meet. There’s the tense meet, often the result of a situational conflict or misunderstanding. And there’s the serious meet, where your characters immediately establish a deep or emotional connection. Remember, regardless of the type of meet, you want to create emotion, offer sensory details, and provide the all-important chemistry your characters need to really connect. Make sure your readers feel that initial friction or spark.

Plant the Seeds of Conflict or Curiosity

Romance feeds on tension. Both internal (fear, pride, past wounds) or external (class, circumstance, rival). Their first meeting should raise questions. Can these two people ever become an item? And why is this person drawn to someone they have no business wanting?

Reveal Character Through Interaction

Yes, the work continues. Use their first meeting to reveal their character quirks, beliefs, and attitudes. Don’t just depend on physical descriptions. Employ dialogue, body language, and little choices to reveal personality.

Establish a Connection or Contrast

Here, you’re trying to build tension or harmony to foreshadow your story’s direction. Show how opposites attract and use this to build initial conflict. If your characters are kindred souls, use this to build emotional depth. Finally, use trust and history to turn friends into lovers. Show how this character fits your main character more than anyone else on Earth.

It’s a question of timing. Because when and how you introduce your protagonist’s principal personality flaw can make or break the emotional impact of your story.

Organically, as Early as Possible

Try to introduce your protagonist’s flaw within the first scene or chapter where they appear. You needn’t spell it out right away, but your readers should get a sense that your protagonist is not perfect, that something needs fixing. You need to plant the seed that their behavior, attitude, or choice is what’s holding them back. It's important to show, not tell, that the flaw is visible through action or dialogue, not exposition.

Go Deeper in the First Act

About a quarter of the way into your novel, the flaw should be clearly established. It should be made plain by way of your protagonist’s choice and the fact that the flaw has begun to create problems for your protagonist or others.

Use Plot to Press the Flaw

As you move into the story's second act, use the various events in your story to stress-test the flaw. Every major challenge should reveal how this flaw short-circuits your protagonist’s goals, creates conflict with your other characters, and denies your protagonist opportunities for intimacy or growth. Each test should reveal the depth of your protagonist’s flaw.

Confrontation Time

By the time your story reaches its climax, your protagonist should ideally overcome their flaw or tragically succumb to it. Because you introduced the flaw early, this emotional payoff—one way or another—will feel earned.

Too Many Characters in Your Romance Novel?

It’s a common problem. Especially in early drafts of romance novels, where side plots and supporting characters add up quickly. Here’s what you can do when your romance story feels overcrowded:

Combine roles

You can often morph two or three side characters into one. Replace your main character’s best friend, co-worker, or roommate with one clever, supportive friend who takes on all those various roles. This serves to trim the fat and add a bit more gravitas to your secondary characters, making them all the more memorable.

Nail Down Who’s Really Important

Decide whose decisions actually move your romantic arc. Who is altered, made stronger, or weaker by a central relationship? If your "extra" characters don't move the romance forward, either through emotion or plot, consider cutting or merging them as mentioned above.

Reassign functions

If your side character’s only purpose is to deliver information or create a single conflict, see if one of your major characters could fill that role. Or see if the information can be conveyed without a character. Having several side characters serve as information providers often adds needless complications to a story. Side characters usually force writers to develop them. And then they inadvertently become burdensome to the story.

Evaluate subplots

Virtually all romance novels cater to intimacy. Too many character subplots (family drama, workplace intrigue, best friend’s wedding, etc.) can muddy and dilute the intimacy readers crave.

The Scene Test

Outline your chapters and indicate who appears in each. Do this even if you’re a “pantser.” If you have three or four named characters in one scene, you probably have too many for readers to emotionally track.

Baby with the Bathwater

Don’t delete your extra characters, especially if you’ve gone to the trouble of fleshing them out with distinct personalities. Save them to a “Graveyard” or “New Stories” file. You’d be surprised at how many great writers have saved their extraneous characters for main ones down the line.

You’re immersed in your characters and story. You’ve mastered all the plot points, twists, and turns. But something is missing in your romance novel. It needs a bit of fun, lightness, and not taking things too seriously. It needs some comic relief. But where to insert it? This can be a challenge for even the most seasoned storyteller. Here are some suggestions that you might consider trying:

During Banter and Dialogue

Romance novels hinge on chemistry. Playful banter is one of the best forms of comic relief. Try teasing, quick wit, or situational misunderstandings to make your characters’ interactions come alive with a laugh. This works two ways: it keeps tension playful and builds a connection.

After Emotional Highs or Lows

After your characters have endured a major emotional or romantic moment, like a breakup, confession, fight, or first kiss, give your reader a breather with a line that forces one to smile and the other to break out in a laugh. Keep in mind that humor at this point won’t undercut emotion. It releases tension and makes your characters appear more human.

Draw in Secondary Characters

This can include friends, colleagues, or family. All can work to inject humor without upending the romantic tone of your novel. Secondary characters are often useful in revealing your main character’s personality, showcasing a growing romance in a humorous or exaggerated way.

During Embarrassing or Awkward Situations

Romance exposes one’s vulnerability, making momentary fools of us all. Let humor grow out of awkwardness to make your characters more endearing. Readers empathize with your characters more deeply when they can laugh with your characters, not at them.