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Alan Partridge
Born
in King's Lynn, The United Kingdom
April 02, 1955
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More books by Alan Partridge…
“Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. And I did not want to end up with the tea-drinking equivalent of AIDS.”
― I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan
― I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan
“The human brain comprises 70% water, which means it's a similar consistency to tofu. Picture that for a second - a blob of tofu the size and shape of a brain. Now imagine taking that piece of tofu, and forcing your thumbs into it hard. It would burst wouldn't it?
Okay, now imagine those thumbs weren't thumbs but thumb-shaped pieces of bad news. And there weren't two of them, they were about half a dozen. Imagine you were forcing all six pieces of bad news - a divorce, multiple career snubs, accusations from the family of a dead celebrity, estranged kids, borderline homelessness, that kind of thing - into a piece of tofu.
With me? Good. Now imagine it's not tofu, but a human brain. And they're not pieces of bad news but six human thumbs. That's what happened to me. In 2001, my brain had half a dozen thumbs pushed into it.”
― I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan
Okay, now imagine those thumbs weren't thumbs but thumb-shaped pieces of bad news. And there weren't two of them, they were about half a dozen. Imagine you were forcing all six pieces of bad news - a divorce, multiple career snubs, accusations from the family of a dead celebrity, estranged kids, borderline homelessness, that kind of thing - into a piece of tofu.
With me? Good. Now imagine it's not tofu, but a human brain. And they're not pieces of bad news but six human thumbs. That's what happened to me. In 2001, my brain had half a dozen thumbs pushed into it.”
― I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan
“Hello, Alan." said Carol's dad Keith.
"Hello, Alan." said Carol's mum, Stella, not bothering to think of a greeting of her own.”
― I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan
"Hello, Alan." said Carol's mum, Stella, not bothering to think of a greeting of her own.”
― I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan
Topics Mentioning This Author
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
Reading the 20th ...:
What books are you reading now? (2017-19)
|
2003 | 235 | Jun 10, 2019 08:43PM | |
| Audiobooks: Humor | 35 | 200 | Oct 01, 2020 04:30PM | |
| A Million More Pages: Movie Director Spellout | 83 | 133 | Jan 03, 2023 03:42AM | |
| Reading the 20th ...: What books are you reading now? (2024) | 944 | 141 | Dec 30, 2024 11:55AM |
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