Lila Devi's Blog

Dad didn’t want me to write about him when he was dying. Neither of us knew at the time that my journal would become a book.

When my family learned Dad was dying and I began writing, it was in my diary where I could air—freely, unedited, and un-judged—whatever I wanted to say about what I witnessed happening to him, my private thoughts and processing, and hence my own journey to cope, survive, and ultimately triumph over this test along with him.

My laptop was always on in Aaron’s guest room where I stayed in North Hollywood to care for him. I scribbled notes everywhere, excusing myself repeatedly from his company to jot down the latest things he’d said or done, plus my observations about them—and managed to piece together a 72,000-word spiritual memoir.

Some books just have to be written. When I read it now, as I’ve just done again in the final typesetting/proofing stage before its first printing, it recalls a flood of memories with a barrage of feelings that accompanied me throughout the most difficult test of my life. That test—helping my father leave this world from the brutal disease of pancreatic cancer—lasted 5 and a half months.

In the particulars of my father’s life, you’ll see the individualized expression of his spirit, and also the universal message of the loss of someone most beloved.

Now I think Dad’s quite happy about this book. He was always a happy guy, about lots of things. He was, in fact, an uncommonly contented person. An impoverished childhood never dimmed his joy; nor did the illness that peeled away his life force one layer at a time.

About the book: I think Dad's also happy that his daughter was headstrong enough to override him and write it!

From Bagels to Curry