Meryl Hershey Beck's Blog

LOSS, SURVIVE, THRIVE: Bereaved Parents Share Their Stories of Healing and Hope BOOK LAUNCH

Loss, Survive, Thrive now available

Although Loss, Survive, Thrive contains stories from 27 parents who have lost a child, it benefits anyone who has experienced a deep loss – child, parent, spouse, sibling, pet, or even loss of job, home, or marriage.

Divided into sections (Baby Loss, Illness/Disease, Accident, Suicide, Mental Health Leading to Death, Drugs, Murder, Gold Star Parent, and Multiple Deaths), each chapter is an inspirational story written by a parent who experienced the agony of losing a child, reclaimed his/her vitality, and is now living a fulfilling life. Every story is authentic and heart-felt, designed to uplift and inspire. The collective authors reach out through the pages to virtually hold hands with those that are suffering. We, the contributors, have all been there. We know the pain, and we know about survival. And now, through our stories, we offer comfort and support in helping grievers get through the toughest time of their lives.

Loss, Survive, Thrive makes a wonderful gift, especially when we are at a loss for words when wanting to comfort the bereaved. A recent reviewer said, “This is my go-to book to give any parent who has experienced a loss or death of a child, whether adult or youngster. The stories are filled with hope, strategies to thrive, and encouragement.”

And….the book launch has been extended. When you purchase the book and send in your receipt at BOOK LAUNCH LINK you will receive 26 awesome bonus gifts (some have to do with easing grief, two about relationships, a few meditations, “Get Over Sexual Abuse” eBook, “The Downside toe Seeking” audio, plus prayer work, and more!).

PLEASE HELP SPREAD THE WORD…. and ask your local library to order a copy.

SEEKING BLOGGERS & REVIEWERS

Loss, Survive, Thrive is in need of reviews. If you are a blogger or a frequent reviewer and interested in reviewing this book, please let me know – Meryl@LossSurviveThrive.com/. Or let anyone know that might be interested in writing an article, doing an interview, or publishing a review.
Loss, Survive, Thrive: Bereaved Parents Share Their Stories of Healing and Hope

Tap Your Troubles Away

Do you know you really can tap your troubles away?

Perhaps you’ve heard of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) … and there are other EFT cousins that are equally effective. Although Tapping is becoming more and more mainstream, here's more info about it in case you aren't very familiar with it.

In the beginning…

According to traditional Oriental medicine, ‘chi’ (a form of bodily energy) is generated in internal organs and circulates throughout the body, forming paths near the surface of the skin called meridians. This whole-body network is known as the meridian system. Acupuncture points are points on the skin, usually located on meridians, where the circulation of chi can be manipulated. By stimulating an acupuncture point on the skin through pressure, tapping, touching, or needle insertion, the circulation of chi is affected, which in turn affects related internal organs.

Thought Field Therapy (TFT) was discovered and developed by Roger Callahan, Ph.D., a Californian clinical psychologist. It is a unique form of meridian therapy, enjoying an unprecedented and proven success rate of up to 97%.

Truthfully, when I first heard about it I was very skeptical. It looks really weird – tapping on points on your head and body!

The most widely recognized Tapping method is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), created by Gary Craig. It’s a simplified version of Callahan’s technique, and equally as effective. There are thousands of practitioners using EFT throughout the world.

‘Tapping' is the generic word for EFT and its many cousins. Within the past decade, there has been more and more research and we are still learning why it works so well.

Oriental medicine teaches that “the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy system.” In simplest terms, Tapping is an emotional form of acupuncture except that needles aren't used. Instead, you use your fingertips to gently tap on specified meridian points while you are “tuned in” to the problem.

To some newcomers, this may seem strange. To others, it hits the target and represents a missing piece to the healing puzzle. With Tapping, we consider the subtle energies to be the front running cause of emotional upsets. As a result, we generate results that are FAR beyond those of conventional methods.

Tapping often provides relief for a very wide range of physical symptoms. This, too, is abundantly clear in our case histories and provides unmistakable evidence of the link between our physical ailments and our unresolved emotional issues.

I hate to toot my own horn (haha), but I've been doing Tapping techniques since 1997 and my jaw still drops at the results. I've lost count of the number of phobias, traumatic memories, guilt, grief, and physical ailments that have been easily relieved (often in minutes) by this procedure. In addition, I used Tapping to release my own ice cream addiction which you can read about at https://stopeatingyourheartout.com/20.... And I have helped countless others eliminate cravings, during individual sessions, workshops, or my online course, “Tap Cravings Away.” [You can get this $200 course for just $25 when you use this link > http://bit.ly/2kY2RfG.]

Even though Tapping violates just about every conventional belief out there, the results are remarkable. Tapping isn't perfect, of course. We don't get 100%. But it usually works well and the results are sometimes spectacular. It often works where nothing else will.

The Research (source: http://www.energypsych.org/?Research_... )

More than 100 investigators in at least 7 countries have researched energy psychology (EP) modalities. (Energy Psychology includes Tapping plus other modalities that deal with the subtle energies.)

As of 2016, over 80 research studies have been published on EP modalities; out of these only one has not shown efficacy. The results of these studies have been published in more than 15 different peer-reviewed journals.

Quick Facts

100+ research studies, review articles, and meta-analyses have been published in professional, peer-reviewed journals. This includes:

45 randomized controlled trials
39 outcome studies 98% of the above 82 studies show positive results
4 meta-analyses
5 systematic reviews
Hundreds of case studies
There are over 400 identified forms of psychotherapy, most of which have little or no research to validate them. Energy psychology is both evidence-based and in the top 10% in terms of research for psychotherapy modalities.

Visit energypsych.org/research to view and access a comprehensive list of studies.

SourceTapping®
One of the many EFT cousins is SourceTapping®, originally known as RITT (Rapidly Integrated Transformation Technique).

Like EFT, it involves tapping on acupressure points. And it has these additional features:

Connect to Source (so you are not alone when you tap).
No need to identify the feeling (just knowing you are upset is enough!).
Clear down to the roots of the issue (without needing to be conscious of the roots).
Use a script (so you don't have to remember what to say or where to tap).
Release multiple challenging feelings at once (no need to identify the strongest).
Install a positive state of being (you get to choose – joy, love, peace, etc.).
Bring in oxytocin (a feel-good hormone).
Tap into the Divinity Frequencies (right now, this is only available at a live workshop).
Why learn SourceTapping®?

So that you can…

Eliminate current emotional discomfort.
Heal old traumas.
Get rid of phobias.
Reduce physical pain.
Curb cravings.
Increase life-force energy.
Improve your overall health.

Some Options

1.Download the script for free to use for yourself – SourceTapping.com.

2. Become trained in SourceTapping® to increase your comfort, competency, and the likelihood that you'll actually use it…

* Fill out an application for the online SourceTapping® Training – www.SourceTapping.com/join

* Attend a Live SourceTapping® Training in October 2017

October 12 – Pre-Conference Training at the Energy Psychology Conference in Vancouver. Register soon for best pricing. www.epccanada.ca/

Stay for this amazing conference where you will

Discover life-changing techniques.
Learn hands-on from experts.
Get continuing ed credits.
Network and meet amazing people … just like you!
~ ~ ~

October 22 – 23, Tucson, AZ Details and registration - http://bit.ly/2sRbPy2]

SourceTapping® Workshop

Luxuriate in the Divinity Frequencies (which bring a feeling of peace and amplify the healing).
Discover and Practice the many uses of SourceTapping®.
Leave feeling comfortable and confident in your ability to use it right away.
~ ~ ~

* Sponsor a workshop in your city! Contact me to discuss what's involved in your setting up a weekend workshop in your locale.

~ ~ ~

No matter which form of Tapping you use, my hope is that you continue to use it to tap your troubles away!

It really does work. Here are just a few of the many testimonials:

“Tapping has been very effective! I prayed to find a way to let go of old hurts, tapping is that answer to prayer. I have used tapping to lower my stress level with family issues, work issues, and food struggles. I noticed definite improvements in my everyday peace-of-mind. I noticed I stopped feeling overwhelmed and started to accept that I am doing the best that I can. Now I feel more in harmony with life. I discovered a way to finally let go of issues that had plagued me for many years.” ~ Lori Clark, Tucson

“I was just surprised how fast it worked. I got rid of the craving during the first round of Tapping, and the second round (bringing in the positive) left me energized. Very interesting! I’ve gone through so many different exercises, this one is very different. It worked on me so quickly. ” ~ Meyer Toole, co-creator of The Energy Psychology Cafe “

“As a professional energy psychology practitioner, I really appreciated the bringing in of a Higher Power in SourceTapping® and the explicit mention while tapping of shame, embarrassment, and grief because they are such a ubiquitous aspect of emotional, psychological problems.” ~ Alfred Heath, Licensed Professional Counselor

“SourceTapping® is a wonderful, easy-to-use treatment method that clients can use on their own. I find that it is so good for deep emotional work, to open the way for deep healing. I have used this technique with great success… I knew your workshop would be great because your treatment method is so powerful, plus there is your lovely enthusiasm!!” ~ Barbara Stone, Ph.D., LISW, DCEP, Professor at Energy Medicine University

“SourceTapping® is nothing short of a miracle.” ~ Julie Seibert, Internet TV Host

“Meryl’s course has helped me to make peace with my own issues and I have used and continue to use much of what I learned in her program.” ~Toni Oliverio, teacher, Cleveland, OH

Sending love and blessings,

Meryl

Mother’s Day – Family gatherings. Gifts. Celebrations. Dinner out. Joy. Flowers. Warm embraces. Happiness.

Whoa! Not every woman is jovial on Mother’s Day. Maybe you:

Lost your mother.
Lost your child.
Long to be a mom.
Have a difficult or estranged relationship with your mother.
Have a challenging or estranged relationship with your child.
If you fit into any of those categories, then you might be feeling sadness, longing, emptiness and/or grief. Instead of a fun day, it’s a day of heaviness. For you, it’s a day of mourning what was but no longer is, or what never was at all.

Know that you are not alone.

Background

I bet you didn’t know that this holiday was born from sadness.

Have you heard of Julia Ward Howard?

She was a prominent American abolitionist, feminist, poet, and the author of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” She helped tend the wounded during the civil war and worked with widows and orphans on both sides of the war.

Horrified with the devastation she witnessed, she called out for women to “rise up through the ashes and devastation,” urging a Mother’s Day dedicated to peace.

Mother’s Day: a Minefield of Feelings

The commercialized Mother’s Day we now celebrate bears little resemblance to her idea. Her original proclamation of this holiday began…

“Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or of tears! Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.

“Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”

My Mixed Feelings

On this Mother’s Day, I have mixed feelings…

I am so grateful that my own mom is still with us, physically and mentally, at the age of 96. She spreads so much love and has infused in me the importance of family.

I am so grateful that my daughter, Alison, continues to be a special person in my life. We speak daily and she has become the family matriarch – having birthed 4 girls, raised another, helped raise a stepson, and is now grandmother of three. Yes, that makes me a great great-grandmother, and I am thrilled! I cherish the time spent with my daughter and her family.

As Mother’s Day approached, however, I felt a huge wave of grief engulf me – there’s a piece of my heart missing. My son, Jon, never needed reminding about Mother’s Day. He would call not just me, but also his sister, his aunts, his cousins, and anyone he knew that was a mother. I miss those calls. He chose to leave the earth plane 5+ years ago and though I have come to peace with his decision, I miss him so…especially on Mother’s day.

Heaven and Earth

In my spirituality and energy practices, I often envision connecting heaven and earth. “As above, so below.” Using my breath, I bring in both Earth energy and Universal energy deep into my heart chakra.

Feeling blue this year, I somehow ‘was given’ a reframe: I realize that I am fortunate to be able to experience both “heaven and earth” – one child who has crossed over and one who gratefully, is part of my every day life here on earth. I connect with both of my children every day!

Heaven and Earth. Not the way I had wanted it. Not the way I had planned it. But it is the way it is. I take a deep breath and the sadness lifts.


On Mother’s Day

A reminder for all of us. Sometimes people’s outsides don’t match their insides. Even though you might see a woman smiling on Mother’s Day doesn’t mean that maybe she’s not crying on the inside.

What we can all do – be kind.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is carrying a heavy burden.” ~Ian MacLaren

Many Blessings,
Meryl

Energy Psychology – for a happier, healthier life!

Some background…

In 1990 I became a licensed professional clinical counselor in Ohio and learned to do mostly talk therapy with my clients.

Each week they left our session feeling great.

But then the next week they returned with the same issue, problem, or concern.

Although I really wanted to help these clients, it seemed I was only providing a Band-Aid solution. Each week we’d go over the same issues – with no permanent change.

Within a few years, I sought out energy-based modalities to incorporate into what was becoming, more holistic therapy sessions…

Cutting Edge Approaches

EMDR

Mid 90s – I studied EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). My clients loved this slightly bizarre approach (waving my fingers in front of the client’s eyes!).

Once I realized that the session was sometimes like opening that proverbial Pandora Box and all kinds of stuff would come up, I extended the length of the sessions. Up and out – to be healed!

EFT

Then in 1997 I learned several energy psychology techniques… including EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), which seemed much simpler and often took less time.

Fortunately, I had the opportunity to study EFT with its founder, Gary Craig. Although I thought it rather odd, I saw that is was very effective. Tapping on specified acupressure points and repeating a phrase, an individual can reduce physical and emotional pain – sometimes in just minutes.

My clients loved EFT. But they wanted a spiritual component and a script to remember what to say and where to tap.

Consequently, RITT (Rapidly Integrated Transformation Technique) was born. Through the years it has evolved and is now known as SourceTapping®.

SourceTapping®

SourceTapping® incorporates several different techniques:

•Using a script and releasing down to the roots from BSFF (Be Se Free Fast).
•The tapping on acupressure points from EFT.
•Crossing the midline from EMDR.
•Holding and breathing at each point from TAB (Touch and Breathe).
•The Pleasure Breath from Braveheart Women’s Oxytocin Breath.

Benefits of SourceTapping®

1. Free – Download the script and directions at http://www.sourcetapping.com
2. You can learn to do this yourself.
3. It is easy to use.
4. Follow the script or change it for your personal circumstances.
5. Rather than a Band-aid approach, 6. SourceTapping® actually rewires the brain.
You can use it to
√ Eliminate cravings
√ Decrease physical and emotional pain
√ Clear phobias
√ Heal trauma
√ Manage stress
√ Increase energy
√Heighten feelings of well being.

My experience

Oh my gosh…I use SourceTapping® a lot, sometimes daily. It changed me as therapist and has healed many of my personal issues and old, emotional baggage.

When I first learned it, I worked on all the unpleasant memories I could remember – anything that evoked emotional discomfort. Emotional upsets that are not healed drain your energy – tapping is the easiest way I know to clear them. SourceTapping® will clear out any of those not-good-feelings….I used it on the following emotionally charged memories:

• As a total rule-follower and goody-goody, I was horrified and humiliated when my first grade teacher said I was talking after the bell rang and made me stand in the cloak closet [I bet I am aging myself with that term!]
• Our family got a pet bird (when I was in elementary school) and I was told to take care of it. I was resentful of the responsibility and mistreated it. Remembering this as an adult, I felt guilty and remorseful.
• Feeling hurt and disappointed when I wasn’t invited to all the Bar Mitzvah parties in junior high.
• Remembering some of my parenting inadequacies, I felt guilty and ashamed of my behavior.
• Having put lots of time and energy into preparing a workshop with a very low response, I felt frustrated and disappointed.

Of course, there were a lot more of these memories. Each time, I remembered the incident and then tapped on whatever feelings it evoked (not the feelings when the event happened, but the feelings as I thought about it in the present moment). The Tapping worked – it was a way of healing my younger part. And now the memories exist without the uncomfortable feelings attached to them!

Two profound experiences using Tapping:

1. Eliminating my ice cream addiction. It really is gone – I have had ice cream a few times since doing the protocol and it was like eating a piece of watermelon or a bowl of cereal – NO BIG DEAL. Read how my addiction to ice cream was miraculously transformed in “I Scream for Ice Cream.”
2. I used tapping a lot after my son died at age 35 (Oct. 2011). I noticed, however, that I could not sit in the chair where I had been sitting when I received the news, and I couldn’t talk about that moment – I was traumatized, and for months I exhibited post traumatic stress symptoms. Although I tried to see a local trauma therapist, we were never able to set up a session. So I took matters into my own hands (literally!)…Every morning I took a walk with my dog and did inner work (my “inner work walks”). I decided that perhaps I could clear that trauma myself by doing SourceTapping®, and it worked! Now I can sit in the chair, tell you who called, what was said, etc. Although I wish I had never received that call, I am able to tell you all about it – thanks to the Tapping.

Energy Psychology – for a happier, healthier life!

Tapping has been nothing short of a miracle for me – to have a tool that is so simple to use and so very effective increases the quality of my life. In addition, clients and others I’ve worked with have been able to effectively use SourceTapping® to clear many feelings and heal a variety of issues.

I have experienced positive effects of using tapping to heal and transform…

• Cravings. Not only have I used it to clear my ice cream addiction, I have used it with numerous clients to effectively curb their cravings. In addition, I offer an online learning class, “Tap Cravings Away: The Easiest Method to Eliminate a Craving,” which has been receiving great reviews. Although it sells for $200, you can purchase it for $25 at http://bit.ly/2kY2RfG (and use it whenever you want in the convenience of your own home).

• Phobias. I first used Tapping to clear my own phobia of heights. And then I helped others eliminate such phobias as snakes, scorpions, roaches, and spiders. As part of the local NBC “Face Your Fears” series, I helped a woman totally eliminate her fear of snakes – even going so far as petting one at the reptile store!

• Emotional Upsets. It is important for your mental health to feel your feelings. However, when the feelings take over and engulf you, they produce emotional discomfort, which Tapping can rectify. If not cleared you keep swirling around in them (not very comfortable at all), use food or another substance to numb out (leading to possible addiction), or try to put a lid on them (and then, like a pressure cooker, they can emerge with force).

• Trauma. If you are dealing with big T Trauma (abuse, rape, war, natural disasters, serious accidents, robbery, major surgeries, life-threatening illness, living with a mentally ill parent, combat, etc.), it is best to seek out a trauma therapist. The small t traumas, however, can be overwhelming though not as traumatic and can often be cleared by using Tapping yourself. Small t traumas are events experienced as traumatic at a personal level, such as feeling humiliated, being unfairly punished, loss of a pet, divorce, being falsely accused, losing a job, changing schools because of a move, verbal abuse, and discrimination. (Such as my personal list mentioned above under “My experience.”)

•Stress, Overwhelm, and Anxiety. Just the simple act of Tapping (follow the directions for SourceTapping®) can reduce the stress and allow you to feel calmer and more centered. Tapping helps to decrease overwhelm, manage stress and anxiety. And, as you do so, it will increase feelings of well being.

• Physical Pain. Although you can tap directly on the issue of physical pain, I usually don’t. Instead, I first ask the level of pain (on a 0-10 scale with 10 being high). Followed by, “What are you telling yourself about the pain?” And then, “And when you hear yourself say those words, how upset are you on a 0-10 scale?” And then we do the tapping. Example: My friend who had just had knee surgery decided to vacuum her bedroom. She hit her knee, was in excruciating pain, and ended up back in the ER. She told me she was telling herself, “I’m so stupid” and when she heard those words her level of upset was a 10. We tapped on releasing the self-judgment and as those numbers decreased, so did the pain – and it became more manageable.

Learn SourceTapping® for Yourself

Instead of just taking a one or two hour workshop, really immerse yourself in this modality so you feel competent and capable of using it and make it a part of your daily life to increase your well being.

Enroll in the SourceTapping® Training – for personal or professional use. Mostly online learning plus training calls. Details at sourcetapping.com/join

*** OR ***

ANNOUNCING >>> Experience SourceTapping® Training LIVE May 22nd, following the 2017 Energy Psychology Conference.

• This post-conference Intensive costs less than the regular SourceTapping® Training Program.
• In person, live training (rather than recorded group calls).
• Plenty of hands-on experience.
• Practice using SourceTapping® on many different issues – cravings, trauma, emotional upsets, and more.
• Train with the SourceTapping® creator (hehe, that’s me!).
• Get all your questions answered during this Intensive.
• Receive additional support after the workshop.
[VIP pricing ends Feb. 6th, Early Bird pricing ends March 27].
Continuing education hours are available for psychologists, social workers, LMFTs, professional counselors, nurses, physicians, drug and alcohol counselors, acupuncturists and body workers.

http://www.ep-conference.org/

Experience the Energy Psychology Conference for yourself…San Antonio…May 19-22, 2017

This conference is for:

Forward-thinking psychologists, therapists, counselors, physicians, nurses, coaches, acupuncturists, and other helping professionals who:

√ Want to effectively address the whole person in their clinical practice.
√ Enjoy using active and focused therapeutic approaches such as EMDR, NLP, Somatic Experiencing, hypnosis, and biofeedback
√ Want to earn their CE/CME/CNE hours learning content they really care about and approaches that will help them deepen their impact in the world.
Hurry....REGISTER NOW the Early Bird registration ends March 27th.

http://www.ep-conference.org/

Hope to see you there!

Many blessings,

Meryl

This Stop Eating Your Heart Out Introduction is an excerpt from Beck, M. (2012). Stop Eating Your Heart Out: The 21-Day Program to Free Yourself from Emotional Eating. (San Francisco: Conari Press).

INTRODUCTION

DESPITE THE FACT THAT AMERICANS are obsessed with weight and spend over $60 billion a year on diets and diet products, has it done any good?

The media screams out to us on a daily basis: We have an obesity epidemic!

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, over two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese. Many of the millions of heavy people have an eating disorder, which has the highest mortality rate of any mental health diagnosis, including depression. This diagnosis has received a lot of media attention recently because the American Psychiatric Association recommended that it be considered a separate, distinct eating disorder like bulimia and anorexia.

Though not all obese individuals are compulsive overeaters, experts believe that about seventy-five percent of overeating is emotional eating – using food to deal with feelings. Although everyone turns to food for comfort on occasion, such as hot soup or hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night, or something sweet to chew on after a fight with your honey, the compulsive overeater turns to food as the primary means of coping with everyday stress, anxiety, and other difficult feelings.

We have an emotional hunger. We eat because of an inner emptiness, and some of us become addicted to sugar and refined carbohydrates as a result. “Fast food has become the opiate of the masses,” Chris Powell declared on an episode of Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. Compulsive eating begins as an attempt to ease the emotional pain, but ends up making us feel even worse.

As a licensed professional clinical counselor, I have worked with compulsive overeaters and binge eaters for over twenty years. In addition, I too am a (recovered) food junkie and spent many years quelling feelings by shoving ice cream or cookies down my throat. Food was the glue that kept me together.

Some folks with excess weight just eat a bit too much. Emotional eaters like me, however, use food as a fix: I abused food just like the alcoholic misuses booze, stuffing myself in an attempt to fill an inner emptiness. For many of us, though, there is not enough food on the planet to fill the gaping hole within our souls. I know – I tried.

During my compulsive overeating days, I spent my time bingeing, hoarding and hiding food, making food my best friend, sneak eating, taking pills to curb my appetite, going to diet doctors, gaining and losing a gazillion pounds, trying different fad diets, hating myself, loathing my body, making and breaking countless self-promises, and feeling helpless and hopeless. I ate frozen food that tasted like cardboard; I finished the food off my children’s plates; I retrieved food that had been thrown away; I confiscated my students’ candy and ate it myself. I had all kinds of sneaky behavior around food, masquerading as the supreme dieter in public and experiencing out-of-control bingeing in private.

My behaviors around food were a closely guarded secret for decades. But not anymore. After years of psychotherapy, working the Twelve Steps, and doing focused personal growth work, I have gained insight and understanding as to why I became an emotional eater at such an early age, and why compulsive overeating became such a driving force in my life. Fortunately, I have recovered from binge eating disorder, and the tools I used are presented throughout Stop Eating Your Heart Out. I share my journey openly so that others may benefit from my experiences.

As I disclose my ordeals with food and out-of-control eating, I am telling the story of millions of others who use food to self-soothe. With the focus on recovery, however, I share the modalities that worked for me, including the spiritual approach I first encountered in 12 Step Recovery support groups.

TOOLS

As I disclose my ordeals with food and out-of-control eating, I am telling the story of millions of others who use food to self-soothe. With the focus on recovery, however, I share the modalities that worked for me, including the spiritual approach I first encountered in support groups using Twelve-Step Recovery.

No one method will work for every person, and rest assured that successful use of this book does not depend on adherence to a Twelve-Step Program. I didn’t adapt the Alcoholics Anonymous program to my food issues by myself – it’s served as a model for many over the years. Overeaters Anonymous (OA), for instance, began in 1960 and uses the same Twelve Steps as AA, substituting the word food for alcohol. Other Twelve-Step groups dealing with food issues include Food Addicts Anonymous (FAA), Eating Addictions Anonymous (EAA), Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA), and Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDS). These, plus more, are listed in the back of the book under Resources.

Although many people, including me, have achieved remarkable recovery with the help of a Twelve-Step support group, I know that some of you are not drawn to that approach. And that’s perfectly okay. This book introduces you to a range of wonderfully effective self-help tools, such as Inner Child work, creative visualizations, journaling, and various energy techniques that together can help you rewire your brain to stop craving food.

In my own work as a teacher and psychotherapist I use some approaches that fall under the umbrella of energy psychology. Based in Eastern medicine, energy psychology is sometimes described as needleless acupuncture. It is a relatively new term to describe various modalities or approaches that utilize the body’s energy systems to create change for the individual. Many energy psychology techniques employ repeating an affirmation while tapping or touching acupressure points to release unpleasant emotions or to eliminate cravings. These techniques are highly effective at diminishing anxiety and other uncomfortable feelings that send many of us directly to the cookie jar. In fact, without also working on the body’s energy system, thinking and reason alone rarely work.

USING THIS BOOK

I recommend keeping a computer or notebook nearby while you read. Through you’re of course free to mark up the margins as much as you like, this book isn’t meant to be a workbook, so there’s not much blank space.

The bulk of this book is devoted to my twenty-one day program for releasing you from your emotional dependence on food, but first I want to tell you my own story. You’ll find that in chapter one. Each subsequent chapter (except the last) covers three days, with a new tool introduced each day to add to your own toolbox.

You might choose to do an assignment in a day, or you might want to take a whole week to do one. That’s entirely up to you. Of course, if you take more than a day, the process outlined here will take more than twenty-one days. But once you have completed all the assignments, you will have all the tools you need to recover from emotional eating. These are tools that you can use over and over again or just once. However you need them to work, they will. The final chapter of the program, Conscious Living, discusses ways to keep using the contents of your personal toolbox as you continue to forge your new life, free from emotional eating.

For many years, I thought I was terminally unique, but the more I shared myself, the more I realized that others had the same thoughts, the same actions, and the same beliefs I did. If you are anything I was, you’ve been waiting a long time to conquer your battle with food and self-hatred. You’re not alone. Begin this next phase of your journey by turning the pages and encountering many new techniques. Please try them all, and then pick and choose the ones you find most useful to create your own individualized toolbox. In so doing, you will alleviate the compulsive overeating as you transform yourself and your relationship to food. In the words of English novelist and critic Aldous Huxley, “There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”

©Meryl Hershey Beck and Red Wheel/Weiser

Many Blessings,

Meryl

PS

Some of the Amazon Reviews of Stop Eating Your Heart Out include these Headlines…

You’ve provided the world with a great gift

If you are struggling- this is ‘the miracle pill’ book!

Excellent, inspiring, practical

This is the book I’ve been looking for!

Practical, Heartfelt Help for Food Addiction

More Than A Guide to Stop Overeating


Stop Eating Your Heart Out is available in 5 formats - Stop Eating Your Heart Out: The 21-Day Program to Free Yourself from Emotional EatingStopEatingYourHeartOut.com/5formats

Print version (for those of you like me who prefer turning paper pages of a book and writing in the margins!)
Kindle and Nook eBook versions
Audiobook (check out how you can get it for free)
Workbook – pdf version. Newly revised, expanded edition.
Kindle Workbook – The digital version allows you to take the exercises with you!

August 8th is Happiness Happens Day!

Here in the U.S., we have all kinds of interesting (often obscure) holidays, including

Festival of Sleep Day
Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day
Wear Pajamas to Work Day
National S’Mores Day
Take a Walk in the Park Day

I was fascinated when I discovered so many quirky and unusual holidays. As I looked through the list, the one that caught my attention was “Happiness Happens Day.”

Background of Happiness Happens Day

According to the nationaldaycalendar.com website, August 8th is the celebration of National Happiness Happens day. It’s a time when happiness is encouraged and a time to really focus on those moments of joy, delight, pleasure, and glee.

In August 1998 The Secret Society of Happy People formed to spread the joy of being happy and encourage people to look on the brighter side of life. Their aim – to stimulate people’s right to express and celebrate their happiness!

And they have two mottos: “Happiness Happens” and “Don’t Even Think of Raining on My Parade.”

The original Happiness Happens Day began in 1999 as “Admit You’re Happy Day.”

Some sources say this is Happiness Happens Month – so you have a whole month to notice all the happiness that happens every day!

Pamela Gail Johnson created this special day (month?) and declared, “When we start noticing all of the happiness that naturally happens around us, then it’s easier to deal with the things that make us unhappy, and to create more experiences that make us happy. Happiness is a personal experience. Although happiness is contagious, we really can’t make someone else happy that doesn’t want to be. An unhappy person has to want to catch a little happiness. We are responsible for our own happiness, and others are responsible for theirs. It’s not our job to make someone else happy, and it’s not someone else’s job to make you happy. But when we can share our happiness, that creates a better world for everyone.”

My Interest

It’s nice to feel happy, but so many people don’t. They are depressed, feeling blue, caught up in worries or self-hatred, and lots more modes of unhappiness.

One of my personal goals this lifetime has been to help decrease the suffering in the world. With less suffering, people are not just happier, they also have the time and space to be grateful and more observant of all those moments of happiness they have each day.

For many years as a counselor and teacher I have focused on decreasing suffering of many including:

• Compulsive overeaters, binge eaters, people who feel out of control with cravings, food addicts.
• Women who give and give and give and forget to re-charge their own batteries.
• People dealing with significant loss and grief – loss of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of health, loss of identity, and other losses.
• Individuals who believe their Inner Critic voice of self-condemnation is telling them the truth and, they therefore, suffer from low self-esteem.
• Anyone who feels separate from Source and has forgotten who they really are: a spiritual being having a human experience.

What Happiness Happens Day Means to Me

There is so much unhappiness, so much suffering, so much depression in the world.

When I heard about this special Happiness Happens Day I grabbed onto the concept. Happiness does happen. But sometimes we are so immersed in our pain and grievances that we miss it.

A very personal example. When my son died (Oct. 2011), I wondered if I’d ever be able to feel the emotion of happiness ever again.

In April 2012, two Mallard ducks appeared – swimming in my backyard pond. They were such a beautiful pair – a male and a female.

For many days, I would go out and watch them. It was a glorious experience and I felt peaceful and grateful.

After several days I said to myself, “This is the first time I’ve felt happy since Jon’s death.”

I am really so grateful that

1, The ducks appeared.
2. I had enough presence of mind to realize that I actually felt happy!

How many times might we be feeling happy but we aren’t paying attention?

Happiness Happens Day

Happiness Quotes

Here are a few of my favorite happiness quotes:

“Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.” ~Dale Carnegie

“In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change lies our happiness and freedom.” ~Buddha

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. ~Denis Waitley

“If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” ~Aristotle

“The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.” ~Benjamin Franklin

“Happiness is an inside job.” ~William Arthur Ward

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama

“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.” ~John Barrymore

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” ~Groucho Marx

“But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?” ~Albert Camus

Your assignment

Happiness Happens Day

We’ve all heard the expression, “Shit happens.” What if the opposite is also true – that happiness happens and we’ve just not been awake enough to notice?

How often do we experience little happy moments that we take for granted?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it (words from the old TV show Mission Impossible) –

• Pay attention…Is there a tiny spark of happiness that you might recognize, nurture, and fan into a full blown fire of happiness?
• Write a gratitude list and see if your happiness increases.
• Go for one full day (at least) without complaining. Focus instead on what’s good and right in your world.
Let me know if your happiness increases!

Wishing you much happiness,
Meryl

AND TO HELP INCREASE YOUR HAPPINESS…

In honor of Happiness Happens Day, all the products in my online store are 50% off.

https://stopeatingyourheartout.com/pr... Use code Happy50

One day only – Monday August 8, 2016.

5 Tips for More Joy

The holidays are upon us. Filled with excitement, shopping, parties and STRESS. Here are a few tips to bring more joy into this holiday season.

1. Be Present

Set your intention to enjoy the moment rather than allowing your mind to regret the past or dread the future. When we focus on either the past or the future, we are no longer in the present.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it ‘the Present.’”

It is human nature to allow our minds to drift. We might think of our to-do list. We might think about what’s for dinner. Maybe we are planning out our evening activities or ruminating over an unpleasant experience. Doing any of these activities takes us out of the moment.

SUGGESTION: Periodically ask yourself, “Am I here now? And if the answer is “No,” then gently bring yourself back into awareness of the moment.

2. Be Joy-filled

It’s been said that joy is our natural state. What are you doing to block yourself from joy?

Laurence G. Boldt explains, “The enduring joy is the one inherent in our being. It is not to be found in a person, condition, or object. It is part and parcel of the consciousness of life. To the extent that we live in consciousness, we live in joy. To the extent that we are unconscious, we miss the bliss.”

When you are present (as suggested in tip #1) and conscious, stop for a moment and explore that state of joy.

SUGGESTION: Be still and ask yourself if you are experiencing joy. If the answer is “No” then ask what blocks you can release to feel the joy.

3. Be Yourself

It makes no sense to try to be someone or something that you’re not. Who are you trying to impress?

Recognize and celebrate YOU – with all your little idiosyncrasies, your unique gifts, your personality and the very nature of who you are.

It takes a whole lot of energy to try to be something you are not. Consider, for instance, that you are feeling down or upset. When your friends ask, “How are you?” and you choose to hide whatever it is you’re really feeling and instead robotically utter, “Fine, thank you,” you are not only out of integrity, but you are draining your life force energy.

This doesn’t mean to be a total downer and whine and complain about everything. It does mean to be real – at least with the people closest to you.

In the words of e.e. Cummings, “ to be nobody-but-yourself – in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

SUGGESTION: Especially at holiday time, discover what would please and energize you rather than sticking to the always increasing list of “have-to’s.”

4. Breathe

When we are stressed, the very act of breathing is affected. To help manage the stress and feel a whole lot better, spend a few minutes focusing on the breath.

Try using what I call “The Pleasure Breath” which has been taught by Ellie Drake as the Oxytocin Breath. All you have to do is inhale deeply all the way down to your belly. Exhale with the sound, “Hah” and a big smile on your face. This will stimulate your Vegas nerve and increases oxytocin (a feel-good hormone).

In the wise words of Thích Nhất Hạnh, “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”

SUGGESTION: As soon as you are aware that you are feeling upset, agitated or stressed, remember to take at least 3 Pleasure Breaths!

5. Selfless Service

All year, and especially during the holiday season, it’s important to get out of your own “little self” and remember that you are a part of and connected to the whole of humanity.

“Seva” is a Sanskrit word referring to “selfless service” – work performed without any expectation of payment or reward. In ancient India, Seva was encouraged to help the individual grow spiritually and to also contribute to the improvement of the larger community.

Mahatma Gandhi declared, “Consciously or unconsciously, every one of us does render some service or other. If we cultivate the habit of doing this service deliberately, our desire for service will steadily grow stronger, and will make, not only for our own happiness, but that of the world at large.”

SUGGESTION: Become conscious of who might need a helping hand, and offer your services from a place of joy and compassion.

Wishing you much joy this holiday season,

Meryl

Gift yourself or a loved one with a copy of Stop Eating Your Heart Out, which is available in 5 formats:

Print version
eBook
PDF workbook
Kindle workbook
Audiobook
More information at http://stopeatingyourheartout.com/5fo...Stop Eating Your Heart Out: The 21-Day Program to Free Yourself from Emotional Eating

For years we’ve heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. My parents told me, I told my children, and I told myself.

According to the authorities: Eat breakfast and you’ll have more energy, more brainpower, be more productive, and leaner. Skip breakfast and you won’t have energy, you won’t be able to think clearly, you will be prone to weight gain, and you increase your disease risks.

But is this another of the “changing truths” when it comes to food and nutrition? Maybe this is another rule to be broken, as discussed in “Pondering the Rules.”

According to an article in the Washington Post ( http://wapo.st/1EkvbrH ), researchers from Columbia University conducted a test of the commonly held belief that missing breakfast is associated with excess body weight. They concluded that skipping breakfast daily for four weeks (in overweight individuals) leads to a reduction in body weight.

Other studies have come up with similar results!

Dr. John Berardi, who co-authored an extensive study review on meal frequency for the International Society of Sports Nutrition, lists 5 reasons to skip breakfast:

It’s not required to boost metabolism.
It can lower your total caloric intake for the day.
It reduces insulin levels.
It can help lower your total carb intake for the day.
It can help you tune in to your body by making breakfast optional.
Intermittent Fasting

One way to skip breakfast is to practice Intermittent fasting, which refers to an eating pattern that includes a good number of hours with no eating (i.e., fasting). Commonly, a person will skip breakfast and not begin eating until lunch time.

Kris Gunnars, BSc ( http://bit.ly/1TWt8mF ), has listed 10 evidence-based health benefits stating that Intermittent Fasting:

1. Changes the function of cells, genes, and hormones.
• Blood levels of insulin drop, which facilitates fat burning
• Human growth hormone increases
• Cellular repair increases
• Beneficial changes occur in some genes related to longevity and protection against disease.

2. Can help you lose weight and belly fat.
• Generally, you will be consuming fewer calories
• Hormone function is enhanced that facilitates weight loss
• Metabolic rate increases

3. Can reduce insulin resistance therefore lowing your risk of diabetes.

4. Can reduce oxidative stress and inflammation in the body.

5. Can improve numerous risk factors for heart disease (blood pressure, cholesterol levels, triglycerides, and inflammatory markers).

6. Can induce various cellular repair processes.

7. May help prevent cancer.

8. May have important benefits for brain health.

9. May help prevent Alzheimer’s disease.

10. May extend your lifespan.

Dr. Mercola is one of many health care professionals who touts the advantages of intermittent fasting, as seen in the following infographic. www.mercola.com/infographics/intermit...

Intermittent fasting is not a form of starvation but a way for you to time your meals to maximize your body’s ability to burn fat.

Be Mindful
The important thing is to be mindful…pay attention to your own body!

In summary, the two take-aways here are:

1. Breakfast is optional.
2. You might want to consider intermittent fasting.

What about you? Do you eat or skip breakfast? If you practice intermittent fasting, what results have you noticed? Please comment in the comment box at http://stopeatingyourheartout.com/201...

Love and Blessings,
Meryl

Speaking of being mindful – I have the honor and privilege of being interviewed by Dr. Susan Albers on The Mindful Eating Summit.

Although I won’t be talking about skipping breakfast or about intermittent fasting, I will be discussing the challenges I used to have with emotional eating and then leading a SourceTapping® session to eliminate a craving.

Register now at the link below! My interview will be on November 2nd and the summit continues through Nov. 6th.

StopEatingYourHeartOut.com/mindfuleat...

My latest favorite books are...coloring books! My recent blog shows much of my work and discusses this - http://stopeatingyourheartout.com/201...

Color Me Peaceful

Have you heard that coloring for adults is the newest fad? And, unlike some other crazes, this one is really good for you!

I have wanted to write this article for several weeks, but I’ve just been too busy coloring to sit down and write this blog!

Coloring has many health benefits including:

Reduces stress and anxiety
Exercises fine motor skills
Trains the brain to focus
Is inherently fun
Generates wellness
Improves your vision
Allows you freedom of expression
Leads to a sense of personal satisfaction
What some psychologists are saying…

According to the clinical psychologist Dr. Ben Michaelis, since coloring in a coloring book is structured, it activates the logic part of the brain and generates creativity. And, “because it’s a centering activity, the amygdala, which is the part of the brain that is involved with our fear response, actually gets a bit of a rest and has a calming effect over time.”

Furthermore, psychologist Gloria Martinez Ayala explains that the action of coloring “involves both logic, by which we color forms, and creativity, when mixing and matching colors. This incorporates the areas of the cerebral cortex involved in vision and fine motor skills. The relaxation that it provides lowers the activity of the amygdala, a basic part of the brain involved in controlling emotion that is affected by stress.”

Coloring is not new. We did it as children. In addition, Carl Jung saw coloring as a relaxation technique and gave mandalas to his clients to color as part of their therapy in the early 20th century.

Psychologist Antoni Martinez recommends it as a relaxation technique. “We use it to enter into a more creative, freer state” and says that we can also use it to connect with how we feel, since we will choose different colors and intensities depending on our mood.

Check out the recent best seller list on Amazon – it includes several adult coloring books!

My Experience…

My friend gave me a beautiful coloring book of mandalas. But they were so intricate I felt very unsure of myself and, actually, overwhelmed at the thought of attempting one.

So I purchased a coloring book for adult beginners. The patterns were simple and it got me started. Here are a few of the early ones that I did using crayons.

Then I graduated to more challenging images (I purchased several books!)

Sometimes I use colored pencils …

Sometimes I use crayons. This one, for instance, is the same image and I used crayons for a bolder effect.

Sometimes I use thin markers – which gives me the boldness of color that I sometimes seek but might bleed through the paper.

Sometimes I use gel pens, but found the colors weren’t bright enough for me. And most often, now, I use a combination – usually markers plus colored pencils.

These are my favorite creations (so far) - see them at http://stopeatingyourheartout.com/201...

Oh, that easy book that I started with – I am now using it to color with my non-dominant hand, which studies show, helps the brain better integrate its two hemispheres.

And the image you saw me starting at the beginning of this post, I used a combination of colored pencils, markers, gel pens, and crayons…here’s the finished product.

http://stopeatingyourheartout.com/201...

I now only half-jokingly say that coloring is my newest addiction! I have been coloring for about a month and find that I need to color every day for at least a little while. Some days, I will admit, I color for hours and hours. Not only is it very relaxing, it brings me a great amount of joy and pleasure.

Want to give it a try?

My friend and colleague Edwina Curtis is an awesome graphic designer and is gifting you two images to color – just click on this link: Coloring Pages For Adults and you can download these:
http://stopeatingyourheartout.com/201...

Have you done any coloring yourself? What’s been your experience?

Love and Blessings,

PS An added benefit for compulsive overeaters – it keeps your hand busy and might keep you from mindless eating!

Speaking of mindless eating, I did my share of it in my earlier years. You can read about my trials and tribulations with overeating and emotional eating AND the tools I used to recover in my Amazon best seller, Stop Eating Your Heart Out, available in 5 formats:

Print version (for those of you like me who prefer turning paper pages of a book and writing in the margins!) StopEatingYourHeartOut.com/my-book
Kindle and Nook eBook versions
Audiobook (check out how you can get it for free) StopEatingYourHeartOut.com/Audible
Workbook – pdf version. Newly revised, expanded edition. StopEatingYourHeartOut.com/RevisedWor...
Kindle Workbook – The digital version allows you to take the exercises with you! StopEatingYourHeartOut.com/DigitalWor...

5 Tips to Increase Self-Love

February just ended, month of Valentine’s Day, month of love. I joyously attended don Jose Ruiz’s “The Mastery of Love Workshop” and was reminded again and again that my most treasured love, my most beloved, the love of my life – is myself.

Don Jose Ruiz explained: “When you learn to love unconditionally, you can love everyone just as they are. This includes YOURSELF. You cannot give something you do not have. You at the moment you realize, you are the love of your life, you can love everyone including yourself. When you know this you respect yourself. Only love in action can produce happiness. Let’s resurrect Valentines Day!”

For years, I have worked on self-love and helped my clients increase it for themselves. This time, however, the message came into me differently. Don Jose Ruiz exemplifies pure, unconditional love – through his words, his actions, his embrace, and his total being-ness.

5 TIPS TO INCREASE SELF-LOVE:

1. Self-Care. Many (most?) of us have been taught to put others first so that we end up at the bottom of the list in terms of priority. Change that! It’s putting your own oxygen mask on first and then assisting others, as they tell us on every airplane flight. Nurture yourself, take care of yourself, fill yourself up with energy and love…then you have something to give to others! In addition, how can you ask someone to treat you better than you treat yourself? Speak to yourself as if you are your own best friend.

2. Learn to say “No.” So often we say, “yes” because we want to please our partner or another person even when our inside is screaming, “NO.” Pay attention to that inner voice. Set boundaries. Make sure you are treated with respect. Detach from the things you no longer enjoy. Continue to say, “YES” to what pleases you, supports your growth, and brings you joy.

3. Forgive others; forgive yourself. We are often so hard on ourselves and continue to dwell on our past mistakes and beat ourselves up over them. Maya Angelou said, “’I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” Be gentle and forgiving of yourself.

4. Drop the stories. Yes, you had a hard time. Yes, you suffered. Are you addicted to suffering? Let go of the story and the drama and focus on the now as much as you can. After all, yesterday is over and tomorrow hasn’t come. Today is all you’ve got! We take a huge step into self-love and healing when we let go of the stories.

5. Celebrate you. As children, many of us were scolded for bragging, but isn’t it time to celebrate your accomplishments and gifts? Instead of taking them for granted, how about becoming your own cheerleader and celebrating what’s working in your life. Be grateful. Feel good about what you’ve accomplished. Celebrate the total human that is you, complete with imperfections.

As human beings we deserve love, and developing self-love is the cornerstone. In order to truly love another, you must love yourself first. And then it is easy to love the other, without any need to change him or her. “Take responsibility to take care of the love of your life – that is your mission.” ~don Jose Ruiz

As I work with and coach the professionals who have emotional eaters and binge eaters as clients, I continue to stress the importance of self-love: the more any of us fill ourselves with love, the less desire we will have to overeat, or binge!

*** Increase Your Self-Love … "Magical Journey of the Sacred Heart"***

This summer I will be taking a few hand-selected individuals to magical, mystical, ancient Britain. Seeped in the higher vibrations of the sacred sites, participants can more easily open their heart chakras to embrace more love and joy in their lives. What a glorious place to practice self-love!

This trip is for you If you

• Love the Arthurian Legends and long to return to Camelot and Avalon
• Want to more fully open your heart chakra for more ease in your life
• Would like to travel with a very small, intimate group of like-hearted souls
• Desire to touch the ancient stones in Avebury
• Dream of being within Stonehenge for a private ceremony
• Seek to be in the expanded energies of sacred sites
• Wish to amplify your self-love
• Enjoy laughter and fun

If this interests you, apply now. There are only a few spots available. For an application, go to SpiritualAdventureTrip.com

With much love,
Meryl
Stop Eating Your Heart Out: The 21-Day Program to Free Yourself from Emotional Eating