Mother’s Day: a Minefield of Feelings
Mother’s Day – Family gatherings. Gifts. Celebrations. Dinner out. Joy. Flowers. Warm embraces. Happiness.
Whoa! Not every woman is jovial on Mother’s Day. Maybe you:
Lost your mother.
Lost your child.
Long to be a mom.
Have a difficult or estranged relationship with your mother.
Have a challenging or estranged relationship with your child.
If you fit into any of those categories, then you might be feeling sadness, longing, emptiness and/or grief. Instead of a fun day, it’s a day of heaviness. For you, it’s a day of mourning what was but no longer is, or what never was at all.
Know that you are not alone.
Background
I bet you didn’t know that this holiday was born from sadness.
Have you heard of Julia Ward Howard?
She was a prominent American abolitionist, feminist, poet, and the author of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” She helped tend the wounded during the civil war and worked with widows and orphans on both sides of the war.
Horrified with the devastation she witnessed, she called out for women to “rise up through the ashes and devastation,” urging a Mother’s Day dedicated to peace.
Mother’s Day: a Minefield of Feelings
The commercialized Mother’s Day we now celebrate bears little resemblance to her idea. Her original proclamation of this holiday began…
“Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or of tears! Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
“Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”
My Mixed Feelings
On this Mother’s Day, I have mixed feelings…
I am so grateful that my own mom is still with us, physically and mentally, at the age of 96. She spreads so much love and has infused in me the importance of family.
I am so grateful that my daughter, Alison, continues to be a special person in my life. We speak daily and she has become the family matriarch – having birthed 4 girls, raised another, helped raise a stepson, and is now grandmother of three. Yes, that makes me a great great-grandmother, and I am thrilled! I cherish the time spent with my daughter and her family.
As Mother’s Day approached, however, I felt a huge wave of grief engulf me – there’s a piece of my heart missing. My son, Jon, never needed reminding about Mother’s Day. He would call not just me, but also his sister, his aunts, his cousins, and anyone he knew that was a mother. I miss those calls. He chose to leave the earth plane 5+ years ago and though I have come to peace with his decision, I miss him so…especially on Mother’s day.
Heaven and Earth
In my spirituality and energy practices, I often envision connecting heaven and earth. “As above, so below.” Using my breath, I bring in both Earth energy and Universal energy deep into my heart chakra.
Feeling blue this year, I somehow ‘was given’ a reframe: I realize that I am fortunate to be able to experience both “heaven and earth” – one child who has crossed over and one who gratefully, is part of my every day life here on earth. I connect with both of my children every day!
Heaven and Earth. Not the way I had wanted it. Not the way I had planned it. But it is the way it is. I take a deep breath and the sadness lifts.
On Mother’s Day
A reminder for all of us. Sometimes people’s outsides don’t match their insides. Even though you might see a woman smiling on Mother’s Day doesn’t mean that maybe she’s not crying on the inside.
What we can all do – be kind.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is carrying a heavy burden.” ~Ian MacLaren
Many Blessings,
Meryl
Whoa! Not every woman is jovial on Mother’s Day. Maybe you:
Lost your mother.
Lost your child.
Long to be a mom.
Have a difficult or estranged relationship with your mother.
Have a challenging or estranged relationship with your child.
If you fit into any of those categories, then you might be feeling sadness, longing, emptiness and/or grief. Instead of a fun day, it’s a day of heaviness. For you, it’s a day of mourning what was but no longer is, or what never was at all.
Know that you are not alone.
Background
I bet you didn’t know that this holiday was born from sadness.
Have you heard of Julia Ward Howard?
She was a prominent American abolitionist, feminist, poet, and the author of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” She helped tend the wounded during the civil war and worked with widows and orphans on both sides of the war.
Horrified with the devastation she witnessed, she called out for women to “rise up through the ashes and devastation,” urging a Mother’s Day dedicated to peace.
Mother’s Day: a Minefield of Feelings
The commercialized Mother’s Day we now celebrate bears little resemblance to her idea. Her original proclamation of this holiday began…
“Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or of tears! Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
“Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”
My Mixed Feelings
On this Mother’s Day, I have mixed feelings…
I am so grateful that my own mom is still with us, physically and mentally, at the age of 96. She spreads so much love and has infused in me the importance of family.
I am so grateful that my daughter, Alison, continues to be a special person in my life. We speak daily and she has become the family matriarch – having birthed 4 girls, raised another, helped raise a stepson, and is now grandmother of three. Yes, that makes me a great great-grandmother, and I am thrilled! I cherish the time spent with my daughter and her family.
As Mother’s Day approached, however, I felt a huge wave of grief engulf me – there’s a piece of my heart missing. My son, Jon, never needed reminding about Mother’s Day. He would call not just me, but also his sister, his aunts, his cousins, and anyone he knew that was a mother. I miss those calls. He chose to leave the earth plane 5+ years ago and though I have come to peace with his decision, I miss him so…especially on Mother’s day.
Heaven and Earth
In my spirituality and energy practices, I often envision connecting heaven and earth. “As above, so below.” Using my breath, I bring in both Earth energy and Universal energy deep into my heart chakra.
Feeling blue this year, I somehow ‘was given’ a reframe: I realize that I am fortunate to be able to experience both “heaven and earth” – one child who has crossed over and one who gratefully, is part of my every day life here on earth. I connect with both of my children every day!
Heaven and Earth. Not the way I had wanted it. Not the way I had planned it. But it is the way it is. I take a deep breath and the sadness lifts.
On Mother’s Day
A reminder for all of us. Sometimes people’s outsides don’t match their insides. Even though you might see a woman smiling on Mother’s Day doesn’t mean that maybe she’s not crying on the inside.
What we can all do – be kind.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is carrying a heavy burden.” ~Ian MacLaren
Many Blessings,
Meryl
No comments have been added yet.
