Chris Raabe's Blog

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Come and celebrate young adult literature. ��Meet the authors and get their books. ��The festivities begin at 6:30 at the Millard Branch of the Public Library.

Thursday, May 21st from 6:30-8:30pm

13214 Westwood Lane��(Millard Branch of the Omaha Public Library)

Students get to talk to the authors and ask questions about their stories, characters, and style. ��It should be an exciting evening at the Public Library in Millard. ��Don’t miss it. ��6:30-8:30pm on Thursday, May 21st.

I have something in the works that the readers of Omaha will love. ��I have teamed up with the following authors, and we are putting together the Author Roadshow. ��Check the links to see who is coming.

Lydia Kang, author of Control and Catalyst

John Kalkowski, author of the Golden Sower Nominee, Red Cell

Tonya Kuper and her debut novel, Anomaly

Daniel Kenney, author of numerous YA books

Tamara Taylor and her debut novel, Believers

Chris Raabe, the author of The Phenomenon Trilogy

We are all getting together for one night of interaction with our fans. ��The date, time, and location are being finalized with an announcement tomorrow morning.

Randa Hazzard of Omaha, Nebraska requested a song to go with my��midlife crisis on the horizon. ��Her idea was to take 22 by Taylor Swift and make it 42. ��I am a fan of parody and Weird Al, so I cranked out some lyrics to be sung to Taylor’s tune. ��I hope Taylor doesn’t mind. ��You have my permission to make a youtube video. ��Just make sure you send me a link to add to my blog. ��Click on the 42 song below and play Taylor’s song in the background to see how I did.

42 song

I was notified today by an��Omaha World Herald article that I am about to hit my midlife crisis. ��I am almost 42, and according to Spotify, a streaming music giant, that is the average age for a midlife crisis to occur. ��Of course, a music website can calculate my midlife crisis by tracking the music that I listen to; what was I thinking? ��We are in the age of technology, I guess.

The problem is that I thought I hit my midlife crisis two years ago. ��I thought I was a high ability midlife crisis-er. ��I was fast-tracked in the world of midlife crisis. ��Thank you, Spotify, for ruining my utopia at 41. ��I guess I didn’t hit my crisis already. ��Crap, things can get worse! And I don’t even use Spotify… How did they know?

I really would like to chat more on this topic, but with the Ash Borer Beetles coming soon and a midlife crisis in about 6 months, I really need to focus on more important things. ��Maybe Spotify can tell me how I can get to a soccer practice and two track meets on opposite sides of town all at the same time. ��Yeah, didn’t think so Spotify.

Is anyone going to be at Bryan High School on Friday so I can have you skype me into my daughter’s races? ��I don’t have time for a midlife crisis now… I have three daughters in sports.

Let me begin by saying that I don’t understand much about music. ��I was in my small-town high school choir and had a total of two speaking lines in my three musicals. ��We had a great choral instructor, and we did well at competitions because of Mr. Mannasmith’s��instruction, but I don’t know much about what goes into judging a district music competition. ��Today, I got a taste of music competitions and judges. ��It was something like eating a greasy pork sandwich that had been sitting in an ashtray and chasing it with a bottle of rat urine, neither of which there is any proof that I have tasted before. ��Thank goodness there was no social media when I was younger.

My oldest daughter was slated to perform her cello solo at 8:54 am. ��While standing in the hallway, awaiting what must be one of the most nerve-racking events of a musician’s high school experience, word quickly spread into the hallway that original music was required for all people involved in room 107: the judge, the musician, the accompanist. ��It was an astonished buzzing and chatter. ��Now, I fully understand what someone feels like when they know nothing about football and watch as fans complain��about��an official blowing a call. ��I was proud of my daughter; she was confident and said she could do it from memory even though she had not practiced it that way. ��And her accompanist couldn’t play because she didn’t have an original copy either, but my daughter was going to try.

We entered the classroom, and she waited for her turn. ��I had the camera rolling… for 15 seconds. ��Then she stopped and said that she couldn’t remember the rest. ��She stood proudly and walked to where her accompanist stood, and then she broke down in tears. ��From the other side of the room, I sat powerless and ignorant. ��Her orchestra teacher hugged her and apologized. ��My daughter moved out of the room as I followed. ��Her teacher stood, as I hurried past to get to my daughter, and explained to the room of people that her students were going to follow the rules and they weren’t going to pretend that they all had original music.

Again, I was lost and wondering, “What the heck just happened?” ��I hugged my daughter and tried to piece together what was going on. ��A senior, who had been playing in high school competitions for��four years, explained that in his four years, he has never heard of a judge for orchestra requiring original copies for the judge, competitor, and accompanist. ��In fact, after more discussion, this appeared to be the only room with this��stingy requirement. ��Again, I am not an expert, not even close.

I don’t understand why they just didn’t let her play and then scratch the score or downgrade it for not having all original music. ��These musicians spend hours upon hours practicing and preparing, sometimes hiring an accompanist. ��Then one judge with his own enforcement policy or perhaps his own rules (again, I don’t know), screws the kids.

Here is what I do know: a bunch of kids worked hard to prepare and someone let them down. ��Was it a high school orchestra director who didn’t get the right information to students? ��Based on the discussions with the kids and my daughter, I don’t think so. ��Was��it a rule that hasn’t been enforced in the past that became a point of emphasis this year? ��Possible, but I don’t think so. ��Was it a judge who took the law into his own hands to make a point or to feel superior? ��That is where I am leaning.

If it had been a high school softball game that I was coaching, I would have definitely had a discussion with the umpire, and there may have been an ejection. ��But this wasn’t sports; it was district music competition. ��The rules are different. ��From what I can tell, everyone is afraid to ruffle a judge’s feathers by seeking clarifications about rules or asking questions. ��I can see why. ��An orchestral director who questions a judge could face years of revenge penalization to participants.

Sports have clearly defined rules. ��An umpire can pass judgement and make a call based on what they saw happen, but the rules are the rules. ��An umpire can’t just conjure up a rule change without coaches questioning it and a discussion between all officials and coaches to resolve the problem. ��In this case of original orchestra music, are the rules the rules? ��Or are judges with grudges making it up as they go. ��Either way, someone let down a bunch of high school musicians who worked hard to prepare for a performance, and then had the rug ripped out from underneath them. ��Judging by today, music competition can be just as violent as a tackle in football. ��I know my daughter was hurting after her experience at district music competition.

Now, I have seen it all. ��Before��my daughters recent orchestra recital,��I was patiently waiting for the doors to open. ��I like to get their early, so I can tailgate in the parking lot with other parents��before getting a good spot to watch the mad rush for seats when the doors open 20��minutes before the initial warm-up. ��Hey, our orchestra is ranked, and we have a talented group of musicians. ��There are some future all-america candidates plucking and strumming on our home stage. ��I think for district music contest, I might be able to get some of the dads to paint big green letters on their chests to show our school spirit.

On this particular night, my tailgate was not in its normal location. ��I was late arriving due to a middle school track meet, so I was by “that” group of parents. ��You know who I am talking about. ��Their kids are the “best” and they are constantly complaining about things. ��As I fired up my grill and got some cello-shaped burgers sizzling for the other guys who would be joining me, I overheard two mothers in a heated discussion about the orchestra.

“I don’t know what the director is thinking,” one mother huffed. “Seriously, my daughter��plays much better than the first, second, and third chair viola.”

“I know,” the other mom nodded. “It’s the same thing in the violin section. ��My daughter is obviously better but she doesn’t get the solo. ��I mean, it’s ridiculous. ��What is that director thinking?”

I am sure you have all dealt with this at��your own orchestra, band, and choir tailgate parties. ��Those parents who aren’t at the rehearsal and aren’t at the practice sessions that think they know who should be where during the performance. ��Lately, I have been hearing more and more of this. ��It is like a disease spreading through a third world country.

The bad mouthing��even continues��during the performances. ��How many times have you heard things like, “I can’t believe the director keeps that girl as the first chair, did you see that vibrato?” or “That base player must not even get lessons, did you hear those notes?” or “His plucking is killing the chamber group, why doesn’t the director get him out of there?”

It has gotten to the point of ridiculous to hear these things at a concert. ��I have even seen parents ripping their child after a performance, rehashing each note on the way home or parents shouting down the director��because their daughter didn’t get the solo over another performer.

I know what you are thinking… Why don’t I take my kid out of orchestra? ��The parents of my daughter’s school are crazy. ��What is wrong with people? ��Why would I allow this to happen?

Yeah, I am not talking about orchestra am I?

This is the sports world! ��This is what parents do to their coaches, teams, kids when it comes to athletics. ��It starts when the teams first get competitive, and the kids are young. ��Too many parents think they know because they watch the performance or even sit at a practice. ��I am hear to tell you that most parents don’t have a freaking clue. ��The older your child is, the more they know and the less informed you are as a parent.

There are four basic roles: coaches coach, players play, officials officiate, and spectators spectate. ��That’s you, parents; you are the spectators, so cheer when it’s appropriate, be proud of your kid, and let the coaches coach, the players play, and the officials officiate. ��The biggest problem in youth sports are looking back at parent when they look��in the mirror. ��Quit being part of the problem.

Here are 3 things you can do to make the experience for your athletes better.

1. Wait 24 hours before contacting the coach about something that bothers you. ��Too many parents get upset without all the facts and make a rash decision to say something right away. ��Coaches are finishing up a game, worked up because coaching is intense, and then a parent drops an unexpected bomb. ��Coaches get defensive and the outcome will not be favorable for anyone. ��I have been there as a coach, and it is hard to hold my tongue with that parent.

2. Make your athlete talk to the coach if something bothered them. ��Our athletes need to practice talking to people in authority in a respectful but sincere way. ��It is a great life skill to be able to approach your boss appropriately. ��In addition, players know what goes on in practice. ��They know their own level of effort. ��Parents, your kids don’t tell you the whole story when it comes to the team. ��In fact, most of you don’t know as much about the sport as your kid does, let alone what was said in the team meeting, on the practice field, in the dugout, on the sideline, etc. ��You don’t have a clue, so make the player be responsible. ��Then if they didn’t talk to the coach, you can tell them to quit complaining about it. ��I often find that kids don’t ask the coach because they know the truth. ��Think about it parents.

3. Don’t ever tear down another player or coach in front of your athlete. ��Cheer for everyone to do well, regardless of whether your child is playing or not. ��Most infighting on teams is due to parents talking at home and the players taking it with them to the team. ��I have seen good kids polluted by parents who don’t know how to keep their mouth shut about something they don’t know much about anyway. ��Great teams can be strangled by soured parents.

By the way, my daughter rocks the cello in orchestra, hurdles in track, and babysitting on Sunday mornings in the toddler room. ��I think my tailgating idea will catch on sooner or later at the orchestra concerts once the weather warms up.. ��Now, where did I put those bow shaped brats.

I just don’t get people.

The news broadcast tonight on the local affiliate in Omaha gave me a gem to contemplate tonight. ��Cameron Mayfield, according to the report, committed what prosecutors are calling a felony arson because it falls under the category��of “Hate Crime.” ��What was this hate crime he committed?

He burned a rainbow flag that he grabbed off of ��Ariann Anderson’s and Jessica Meadows Anderson’s front porch at 12:30 in the morning after going out drinking. ��The Andersons witnessed the entire event. ��Mayfield and the Andersons don’t know each other. ��The article is actually comical because a normal human being who spent any time on a college campus gets what happened. (article)

Okay, the dude is 23 years old. ��I sort of remember 23, but it is a little hazy. ��Now, the following is all speculation. ��Guy is walking home from a local pub because he doesn’t want to get a DUI. ��Dude sees a rainbow flag next to a Husker flag. ��“What the heck?” he says to himself. ��“Who puts a Hawaii flag next to the SKERS?!” ��It makes perfect sense when you have been drinking.

In no way do I condone the actions of Mr. Mayfield. ��He was wrong to burn the flag, but is it a hate crime? ��No freaking way!!

The guy made a mistake. ��The guy did something stupid. ��The guy needs to pay restitution. ��The guy needs to be cited. ��The guy probably had a rough week and was blowing off steam. ��It wasn’t right, but it wasn’t a hate crime.

Now, the Anderson couple, they are priceless. ��Listen to what they said.

“What became so clear to us after Saturday night, is that the intent really does make a difference. Seeing him waving that burning symbol of a controversial, and inherent part of our being(s) as a minority, in front of our house as a clear message, made it scary. It made it an attack as opposed to a prank.”

They have filed for a protection order against Mayfield. ��Again, here is what probably happened (total speculation): ��Dude lights the flag on fire in the street and then he imagines he is in a war movie because the guys at the bar were probably talking about their favorite scenes��before he left. ��I can picture him waving the burning rainbow flag while yelling “Bring the rain!” (which is a line from one of the Transformers movies, a favorite of mine that I will say to my kids or the neighbor kids in the back yard when I am beating them into submission in a game we are playing.)

No, I am not literally pounding on them so child protective services calls do not need to be made. ��Again, let me point out that I don’t condone this action by Mayfield… I feel like if I don’t restate this, the LGBTQ community may retaliate against me, which by the way, probably would not be considered a Hate Crime.

The real question here is this… WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?

Yes, Mayfield did something dumb. ��I don’t condone it, but not a hate crime.

Try having a Nebraska flag on your front porch in Boulder, Colorado. ��You want to hear hate; they don’t like us much out there. ��I would be a minority in Boulder. ��If they burn my flag, is it a hate crime? ��Nope.

You ever see how fans treat officials. ��Being an umpire isn’t easy. ��I have had a few slurs thrown my way, and umpires are definitely in the minority. ��They hated me at times, but it wouldn’t be a hate crime.

Hypothetically, I have Christmas decorations in my yard. ��Some drunk high school kids who are part of the LGBTQ community come by��and trash my Nativity scene by kicking the crap out of my wise men. ��That’s right, not a hate crime. ��Hate crime doesn’t apply to Christians who have property destroyed. ��I don’t hear an outcry of hate rhetoric for Christians who are targeted.

Aren’t all crimes committed out of some form of hate. ��The real issue here is this, dude was dumb, dude pays up, life should go on. ��Don’t kill the guy for it, don’t ruin his life, don’t grow this into something it isn’t.

You want to talk about hate crimes… what our government did to the Autobots in Transformers: Age of��Extinction is a hate crime by our government.

If you don’t appreciate��watching the Transformers, that is a crime…

but not a hate crime. ��Now, when you are up against a real threat to humanity, that’s when you “Bring the Rain!”

Ice cream has been an important part of my life, and it still helps my family cope with the weight of daily stresses. ��I made a trip to the local grocery store over the weekend and found a sale on Breyers, a tried and true family favorite. ��I grabbed two containers of natural vanilla (because we can mix it with our own choice candy for our personalized flavoring), a mint chocolate chip, and coffee.

Last night, following the NCAA basketball game, I settled in to tangle with the evening news and some Breyer’s Coffee Ice Cream (personal favorite of mine). ��I can’t really say what it was that made me check the label. ��It may have been a flavor that was slightly off, or perhaps it was a different texture I noticed, or maybe it’s because the food industry keeps looking to make more money by screwing the consumer with “healthy” labeling that actually turns out to cause cancer, zombie outbreaks, or��sharknadoes.

That’s right! ��My Breyer’s Ice Cream has gone to the dark side. ��I thought I was buying the��good old��ice cream of my youth only to find that I had been duped. ��What the hell is Frozen Dairy Dessert? ��And why is it in my freezer? ��I thought I was buying ice cream. ��It was time to dig deeper into this new dairy dessert��item, because I could feel my stomach did not like this wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Upon closer inspection,��frozen dairy dessert��appears��to have��all the markings and labeling of ice cream. ��In fact, the pictures on the frozen dairy dessert carton look identical to the ice cream carton, but then I looked closer. ��The “All Natural Ice Cream” label I am��accustomed to seeing has��been replaced by “Quality since 1866.” ��Okay, ��I know one thing for sure, my definition of quality and the Food and Drug Adminstration’s definition of quality are two different things. ��School cafeterias serve “quality” food, and have you been in a school lunch line lately? ��In addition, I know frozen dairy dessert hasn’t been around since 1866.

I searched for the vanilla ice cream container my daughter had been licking clean before bed (Don’t judge, my girls care about not wasting their ice cream). ��I found it in the recycling and looked at the ingredients. ��Milk, cream, sugar, natural vanilla flavor. ��I grabbed the frozen dairy dessert container from the fridge. Corn syrup and High fructose corn syrup and monoglycerides and diglycerides.

Regardless of what the corn growers association says about corn syrup, it is not good for you, and to this day, I am a huge fan of explosions so I have heard of glycerine (add nitro for dynamite), which I assume is like glycerides. ��I mean, you only change one letter, and spell check recommended glycerine as the only replacement for glyceride, so it can’t be good for you if it is related in some way to an explosive compound, which by this time was eating its way into my intestines.

I searched on-line for others who had discovered this shell game by Breyers, and what I found was scary. ��This new concoction does NOT fall into accordance with the FDA’s product requirements for ice cream. ��Why did Breyers do this? ��Their spokesperson said, “People were telling us they wanted a smoother texture.” ��So… it’s our fault. ��Consumers wanted smoother texture. ��Frankly, I don’t buy that. ��How do you get smoother than ice cream? ��The spokesperson didn’t mention anything about��how it is much cheaper, which I found all over the interwebs about how frozen dairy dessert ingredients��reduce costs.

Basically, it costs less to produce (but costs consumers the same to purchase) and it is more harmful, but it is a “Quality” kind of harmful according to the label.

Frozen Dairy Dessert? More like Frozen Diarrhea��Dessert! Which is exactly what I got out of the whole experience.