Jonathon Jones's Blog - Posts Tagged "nature"

You know you're a Floridian if...

Socks are only for bowling.

You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim.

You can tell the difference between
fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.

You know that no other grocery store can Compare to Publix.

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

You dread love bug season.

You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.

'Down South' means Key West .

Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You know the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years.

You recognize Miami-Dade as ' Northern Cuba .'

You know one of the things that has always made me wonder? Why cats like fish so much. Think about it...how often in the wild would you see any member of the cat family, even the big cats like lions and tigers, getting IN water to catch a fish? Most cats HATE water. And I'm MORE than certain they'd never be able to catch an ocean fish since that would usually require going in WAY farther than the water's edge and you can't see diddly in most ocean waters.

I'd think, out of all the meats available, since cats "are" carnivores, chicken would pretty much be it as far as what we can easily give them.

I mean, there's no way in the wild they're going to usually venture into water to catch a fish, anyone here who has seen a wild turkey knows that there is no way a cat is going to bring down a wild turkey, especially a male, without getting pecked to death, and other land animals that we also eat such as lamb and cattle...well, of course there's no way a house cat is going to bring one of those puppies down.

Since we don't have "birds or mice" at the local supermarket, I'm thinking chicken is probably more along the lines of something they could actually catch and kill by themselves.

Sorry...random thought. I do that.

Nature's really weird sometimes when it gives people parts, isn't it? Like...really skinny girls with no hips but large boobs. Or really wide hips and no boobs. If both of those are biological markers of womanhood/potential motherhood, talk about a conflict of interests!

Or...really skinny frail looking guys with really large willies, or really beefy, muscular looking guys with tiny little specks of a willy. If a guy with a good body as well as a decent sized willy is an indication of manhood, why does nature often mix and match parts like that instead?

Overall, for both females and males, my own personal theory is....when genetics gives us no choice but to have parts or bodies that aren't conducive to masculinity or femininity, it sometimes gives us something else in spades to compensate for it.

And the people who are physically perfect overall? Let's all smack them simultaneously, shall we?

"The Skinny Guy"