274 ratings | 2 reviews | avg rating:3.96

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Sandy

595 books | 141 friends

Aud Pitch

483 books | 96 friends

Melissa Alexander

750 books | 81 friends

Katharina Vassar

693 books | 149 friends

Lori Griffin

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Martín Yernazian

172 books | 215 friends

Kyle

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Jordan Krumbine

Goodreads Author

Born

in Newark, The United States

Website

https://emergencycreative.com

Genre

Fiction, Humor and Comedy, Science Fiction

Member Since

June 2012

URL

https://www.goodreads.com/jordankrumbine

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Jordan Krumbine is a Creative Wizard™ currently (and happily) bubbled in Hell's Waiting Room, where democracy, civil liberties, and old people go to die (also known as Florida). When not spinning short stories, drafting his next advertising-inappropriate novel, or quietly pounding out feature screenplays on-contract, he's working as a professional video editor and creative producer, playing with (and animating) LEGO, and not-so-silently begging for affection from his two motherfuzzers, Harvey Two-Cheeks and Crawl.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:

"[Publishing companies] should be looking at [him] now."
(Abraham Owens is Punched, Drunk, & All Out of F*cks!)

"The quintessential 20-something Orlando experience. Anyone who's lived through their 20's in the ...more

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Jordan Krumbine’s books

Average rating: 4.08 · 61 ratings · 12 reviews · 22 distinct works

	Don't Call Me Zombie 3.50 avg rating — 30 ratings — published 2012 — 3 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Don’t Be A Monster, Dick! 4.29 avg rating — 7 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Abraham Owens is Punched, Drunk, & All Out of F*cks! it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 4 ratings — published 2022	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The Queer Puppeteer and His Zombie Puppet Friend 3.75 avg rating — 4 ratings — published 2012	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Zombie Jesus Wants to Save Your Soul ... and 6 Other Scary Stories: a collection of short stories 4.67 avg rating — 3 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Explorers of the Unknown: Vampires! it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 2 ratings — published 2021 — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Religiously Roasted Every Goddamn Day it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 2 ratings — published 2012	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Explorers of the Unknown vs Kaiju Foo Foo! it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 2 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Videorama it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 2 ratings	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	#TextMe😘 it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 2 ratings — published 2020	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

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Jordan is Currently Reading

Jordan Krumbine is currently reading

The Scarlet Ruse (Travis McGee #14)

by John D. MacDonald

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Jul 06, 2024 03:18PM

Jordan Krumbine is currently reading

The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity

by Julia Cameron

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Jun 09, 2024 03:15PM

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Jordan Krumbine rated a book it was amazing DEVILS + HEARTBREAK (MERAHPUTIH) by Aud Pitch (Goodreads Author)	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
DEVILS+HEARTBREAK is a masterful debut from a fresh voice that bursts with smutty talent. Aud Pitch weaves a story that transcends generic genre tropes, delivering a gripping literary romantic drama that also happens to be smutty. The characters are ...more
Nov 02, 2024 04:01PM · 1 like · like · see review
Jordan Krumbine started reading The Scarlet Ruse (Travis McGee #14) by John D. MacDonald	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Jul 06, 2024 03:18PM · like · preview book See a Problem? We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of The Scarlet Ruse by John D. MacDonald. Problem: Details (if other): Thanks for telling us about the problem. Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — The Scarlet Ruse by John D. MacDonald <iframe sandbox id="wrongBookKindlePreviewScreen">
Jordan Krumbine rated a book liked it Pyramids (Discworld, #7) by Terry Pratchett	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Jun 25, 2024 04:28PM · like · preview book See a Problem? We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of Pyramids by Terry Pratchett. Problem: Details (if other): Thanks for telling us about the problem. Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — Pyramids by Terry Pratchett <iframe sandbox id="wrongBookKindlePreviewScreen">
Jordan Krumbine liked Aud Pitch's review of Don’t Be A Monster, Dick!: "Don't Be A Monster, Dick! is a disturbing, violent, and downright HILARIOUS commentary on toxic masculinity and its equally problematic comPATRIOT— toxic feminity. It delves into America's obsession with gun rights, male entitlement, and sexualising " Read more of this review »
Jun 10, 2024 07:52AM · see review
Jordan Krumbine is currently reading The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Jun 09, 2024 03:15PM · like
Jordan Krumbine rated a book it was amazing Abraham Owens is Punched, Drunk, & All Out of F*cks! by Jordan Krumbine (Goodreads Author)	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Jun 09, 2024 02:13PM · like
Jordan Krumbine rated a book liked it The Big Game by Sandy Schofield	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Jun 09, 2024 06:47AM · like
Jordan Krumbine started reading Abraham Owens is Punched, Drunk, & All Out of F*cks! by Jordan Krumbine (Goodreads Author)	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Jun 07, 2024 03:56PM · like
Jordan Krumbine rated a book really liked it The Sandman: Act I by Dirk Maggs	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Jun 06, 2024 03:52PM · like
Jordan Krumbine is currently reading The Big Game by Sandy Schofield	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Jun 02, 2024 06:51AM · like

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Quotes by Jordan Krumbine (?)

“Sam, just accept it. There is nothing funnier than penises randomly inserted in wildly uncalled for places in the sport of hilarious juxtaposition. Why else would we have the Washington Monument?”
― Jordan Krumbine

2 likes

“When in doubt: more coffee.”
― Jordan Krumbine

2 likes

“You know your cat is fucking with you when she poops in the litter box and somehow manages to miss the litter.”
― Jordan Krumbine

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Topics Mentioning This Author

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My Vampire Book O...: * Cover Love Jan - Dec 2023	64	67	Jan 03, 2024 06:36PM

Jordan’s Quotes

“I just want you to know that most of the time, I have absolutely no fucking clue what I'm doing. I just happen to be good at making shit up as I go along.”
― Jordan Krumbine

2 likes

“Make no mistake: it's not that I actively dislike you. That would take an effort on my part that I have absolutely no interest in exerting on behalf of such an insignificant little man such as yourself. No, I am indifferent towards you with absolutely no hope for an upgrade.”
― Jordan Krumbine

2 likes

“When in doubt: more coffee.”
― Jordan Krumbine

2 likes

“––but I love her and we're meant to be together and she completes me and I never want to stick my penis into anything else ever again!”
― Jordan Krumbine

2 likes

“I had a nice, long, hot shower but didn't come up with any great ideas. What a waste.”
― Jordan Krumbine

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