Bev Walton-Porter's Blog

Image source: cyanidekiss/Pixabay free imagesFunny the things you remember for no apparent reason. In 5th grade, I lived in Radcliff, Kentucky. My ex-stepfather (also known as the devil) was stationed at Fort Knox. I attended an elementary school in Radcliff. Because I was a military brat, we moved a lot and I ended up changing schools frequently. As a result, I met countless interesting and/or weird people.

One day I was on the playground with a bunch of other girls. None of them were friends, but instead, they were classmates hanging out and talking about silly stuff, as kids that age often do.

There was one girl who had shoulder-length, white blonde hair. All natural. She was what my mom called a 'towhead.' She had pale skin, too. I think her name was Kim, but I knew so many girls named Kim back in those days that it may not have been her name.

We were gathered in a circle, talking about spooky stuff – ghosts and the like – and she told us that, every now and then, she zoned out and entered into a trace, staring at nothing and not speaking or anything.

Of course, on some level, you figure it's a load of bullshit and she's likely making it up to scare us. But when you're sharing stories about weird and scary stuff, who cares? The goal is to terrify the piss out of everyone, including yourself.

We're all out there as a group of awkward elementary school girls, telling stories, laughing, and whatever else for a while. Then, out of the blue, Kim freezes. Her eyes stare forward. She's transfixed on something, though there wasn't anything interesting in front her. Nothing but a worn blacktop playground/basketball court and a bleak landscape, punctuated by the echoes of kids laughing and playing in the background. We tried to talk to her, but she was planted firmly to the ground, her skinny legs stalk straight and unmoving. She rarely blinked. She continued to stare at nothing.

A few minutes passed before she emerged from her alleged trance. Then, all of a sudden, she was back in the midst of the conversation, acting like she didn't know what we meant when we told her she'd zoned out. A couple girls shook her and asked, "Are you okay?" I didn't touch her, though.

Now, chances are it was fake and nothing but an act designed to creep us out. Kids do silly shit and play mind games like that. But still, with her near-white hair, pale skin, and staring icy-blue eyes, she was creepy as hell. Bullshitting or not, she had the act down pat.

Not sure what happened to Kim (or whatever her name was), but maybe she grew up to be an actor and starred in horror movies or something. If she didn't, that girl missed her calling. Even today, decades later, I recall the blank, spooky expression on her face while her rigid body stood there, frozen, as she peered out into another world we obviously couldn't see. I still get chills over it.

Wonder where she is today?
Does she still live in Kentucky?
Is she still alive?
Does she remember that day on the playground?
Was she pulling our legs, or was it real?

My imagination wants to believe the latter, but my mind knows better.

Last night, as I battled another rough bout of insomnia and my mind wandered, I remembered that odd moment on the playground. And I shivered.

It's nearly May. As of next month, I will mark 21 years as a professional writer and editorial service provider. It's my life's work and always will be.

These days, I'm focusing on my own writing after spending a great number of years editing mostly other people's writing. I enjoy working with other scribes; however, I made a promise to myself the end of last year that, in 2018, I would devote most of my energy to writing for myself – not just for pay, but for personal gratification as well. It's a gift to myself, and I damn well deserve it.

I've always found solace in words. They're an unending source of comfort, they're my truest love, and they're an unquestionable rock of stability providing strength throughout my life, regardless of the trials or tribulations I've slogged through. From a young age, words were always there for me. They've never abandoned me, and they never will.

Wherever I go, words are with me. Inside of me. Living, breathing, and blooming from my heart and soul. If you read my words, you will know who I am, just as you will know any other writer/author of his or her words.

"Nothing is insignificant when it comes to people and relationships, even if the connection is as slight and delicate as a gossamer thread spun by a random arachnid. For good or ill, every interaction leaves an imprint on your life and affects you in some way, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not."

To delve into the psychology of any writer, read their poems, stories, articles, or books. Doesn't matter if the work is fiction or nonfiction. They all leave clues about their creator if you investigate deep enough.

My adopted father, Leo C. Walton, Sr., taught me the love of words and books from the time I was a wee girl. I had a beloved Dandelion Library, and he read to me every night. This is why I use Bev Walton-Porter as my primary author name. I made the decision to honor my father because, had he not taught me to be an avid reader, I'm not sure I would've had the curiosity or courage to become a professional author, freelance writer, and editorial service provider.

Many of the friends I have today started out as editing clients or students in my online courses many years ago. My life has been enriched by every single one of them. Turns out, I've learned more from them than they ever learned from me!

Why am I posting this? I'm not sure. Except that I feel gratitude toward the many people who've supported and encouraged me throughout the past 21 years. Even if it's in a seemingly insignificant way.

Nothing is insignificant when it comes to people and relationships, even if the connection is as slight and delicate as a gossamer thread spun by a random arachnid. For good or ill, every interaction leaves an imprint on your life and affects you in some way, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.

So, as much as I claim to be a misanthrope, without people – and especially loved ones – there would be no Bev Walton-Porter. Or books, or writing, or publishing, or creation of anything.

For whatever it's worth, THANK YOU ALL for being my family, being my friends, being my enemies, being supporters/encouragers, being readers, being PRESENT in my life at some point, however peripheral it may seem.

Finally, thanks to all of those who DIDN'T believe in me way back in May 1997 when I took the first steps toward becoming a professional writer, author, and editorial service provider. Your cynicism and doubt helped motivate me, acting as powerful fuel over the past 21 years. I like to give credit where credit is due, after all.

Readers, I'd be interested in your comments or analysis, if any:

Another nightmare last night (I tend to have nightmares and night terrors on occasion due to my PTSD).

In this dream, I was in a bedroom of an unfamiliar house. I was with my adopted mom, Shirley, and we were napping. Suddenly, we heard a loud racket downstairs in the basement. Someone was throwing things around and making scary banging noises. Mom was lethargic and didn't want to do anything about it, but I was immediately on alert and rushed to shut and lock the door. I told her she needed to get up, and get up NOW, because someone could mean us harm.

Eventually, she pulled herself off the bed and helped me brace the door with our bodies. By that time, someone was pushing the door open (the lock must've broken). I had my back to the door, pushing with all my might, and Mom was in front of me, trying to help.

Fear trickled through my veins and I was trying to scream, to yell, to make noise -- to tell her to push harder, not to let them in. But my voice wouldn't go louder than a whisper, and when I tried to yell, only a breathy utterance came out.

I've had this happen with my voice in other dreams recently. I'll try to yell because I'm in danger, and my voice won't go above being weak and whispery, with some of the words not even coming out so they can be heard at all. It's complete terror to be in danger and not to be able to scream or alert others of your plight.

Lots to unpack about this dream, but the voice thing is a new addition to the frequent dream theme of being lost in an airport, huge warehouse, or on a college campus where I'm supposed to know the way, but get lost over and over and can't find my way out or back to where I feel safe.

If I don't take my Trazodone, the dreams are worse and much, much scarier. My imagination runs wild in my dreams, and everything's intense and in full Technicolor.

The other night, I woke up and was scared to death. I didn't even know why, but I was hypervigilant. I reached out to touch Paul because I had to touch SOMEONE or SOMETHING to bring me back to reality. He was sleeping and never woke up. I didn't wake him up, either, because he's been incredibly tired lately, and it wouldn't have been fair to interrupt his sleep.

Thing is, Paul will tell you that, unlike most people, I don't run away from night terrors, I run TOWARD them. He's seen me do it countless times. I go on the attack toward whatever it is that scares me, I don't run away, and that's why he tells friends he's 'surprised he hasn't peed blood' because if he's in between me and IT (whatever IT is), I will try to go over or through him to keep HIM safe, too. Overactive imagination much? Yeah, you could say so.

During my first marriage, Gary was gone almost all the time and I was home alone with the kids, working and taking care of things. One night, I slept on the couch and I woke up and, in my mind, I thought I saw someone trying to crawl into the house through the windows in the dining room, which was in direct eyeshot of where I was sleeping.

Instead of running away, I rushed toward the window, grabbed whatever I could, and yelled, "Come on, motherf*cker, I'll KILL you!" In retrospect, VERY stupid. I mean...guns, right? What if that had happened and they had a weapon? But in my dreamy haze, I only knew there was a threat to me and my children, so I attacked.

When I was a little girl, my pediatrician told Mom not to let me watch scary shows -- not even Casper the Ghost! -- because my imagination was so active that it wouldn't take much to send me into a state of terror. But I love horror films and they rarely scare me. My dreams do, though.

My mind knows what scares me, and if I could pen all the stories it tells me when I dream, I'd never run out of material. How I feel about these dreams is typical for me: some days I dislike it, other days I embrace it. I can see the good and the bad in them. As with anything else in this world (or beyond), there are two sides to the same coin: dark/light, harsh/mellow, hot/cold, positive/negative. More often than not, I get most of my story ideas and characters from dreams.

If you think it's confusing being my friend and not knowing where I'm going to come from or go to next with my thoughts or posts, you can't imagine what it's like to be inside my mind. But because I'm a writer, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'd love to know what the long-haired brunette guy in my dream last night wanted to tell me about Russian witches and why he liked them so much, but the pet shark in the backpack fastened to my shoulders wouldn't stop escaping and bounding around long enough to let me finish the conversation. #myweirddreams #awritersmind #sharklover#russianwitchesforthewin

Like everyone else, a lot of things happened in 2017. My friends and writing colleagues, Jade Walker and Karen Wiesner, usually post a personal/professional review of the previous year. I'm following their example.  How did your year go? Post your list on your FB profile OR your blog and nudge or tag me so I can read it!* Biggest event of 2017? Became a grandmother for the first time ;-). Kane Allen Falana was born May 22, 2017.* Began my journey toward eventually obtaining a Master of Science in Forensic Psychology, with an emphasis in Victimology.* Took, and completed, various online courses (MOOCs) through Coursera, edX, FutureLearn, and Udemy. Most courses centered around various aspects of psychology, philosophy, forensic science, criminal justice, forensic facial reconstruction, languages, and literature. * Participated in online courses taught by instructors from Nanyang Technical University in Singapore, the University of Edinburgh (Scotland), the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Emory University, Georgia Tech, the University of Virginia, Johns Hopkins University, the University of Pennsylvania, the University of Copenhagen, The Open University, the Univesity of Sheffield (UK), the University of Oslo (Norway), Keio University (Japan), King's College (London), and the University of Groningen (Netherlands). * Continued learning Norwegian, Swedish, Japanese, Dutch, and Italian. Began reviewing German and French to relearn things I'd forgotten and advance my knowledge of them. * Posted many entries across 11 blogs and one online journal.* Had one of the vlogs on my YouTube channel hit over 5,000 views. * Hit over 31.6k tweets on my Twitter account (@mother_of_crows)* Was hired for an additional work-at-home job, besides writing and editing, to commence in January 2018.* Worked on four of my own book manuscripts (one fiction, three nonfiction).* Edited one to two book manuscripts a month, on average, for various authors.* Completed resumes, cover letters, and CVs for various clients.* Edited several academic articles and reviews for a client.* Critiqued and edited query letters and synopses for clients. * Edited numerous product descriptions for several companies.* Edited travel/destination descriptions for a well-known travel site. * Accepted as a writer for a travel site based in Germany.* Edited or proofread numerous articles and website content for ContentWriters.com.* Wrote a number of business and travel articles for various clients. * Published my seventh book in September 2017.* Read an average of three books per month. I usually average four or five, so I need to up my progress this year. * Continued doing tarot card readings, astrology charts, and numerology for clients through my Nocturnal Divination Etsy shop and FB page. Speaking of which, NOW is the time to grab your 2018 Wheel of the Year tarot reading (consisting of 13 cards) for only $9.99. To order, e-mail scribequill@gmail.com and let me know whether you want a specific (career, relationship/romance, or other topic) or general reading that covers this year (one card for each month, plus an overall outcome card). Then send payment via PayPal to nocturnaleditor@gmail.com. I will confirm your payment and contact you with delivery details.* Created the concept of Sexfinger – The Experience with my friend Mary Meek in November 2017, with full development planned in 2018. Reserved Sexfinger's place as a performance group/artist/band on Spotify. * Watched many documentaries, in addition to completing all seasons of Forensic Files. Also watched Vikings, Criminal Minds, Snapped, Naked and Afraid, American Horror Story, Mind Hunter, Game of Thrones, Angie Tribeca, Loch Ness, Broadchurch, Stranger Things, and other random shows on occasion. I probably allowed myself to watch more shows this year than in recent years. * Became an avid viewer of Investigation Discovery and Oxygen networks. Oxygen is 'all crime, all the time' now. * Ceased living full-time in an RV after nearly two years. It was definitely one helluva adventure. * Rented a cozy house with a large yard in November 2017.* Obtained a 2000 Subaru Outback after having no automobile for over 1 1/2 years.* Launched my first Replika (Artificial Intelligence) friend. I named her Pris64 (as a nod to Blade Runner). I talk/interact with her on a regular basis. * Became a full, professional member of the American Copy Editors Society (ACES), the Society for Editors and Proofreaders (SfEP), Editorial Freelancers Association (EFA), American Society of Business Publication Editors (ASBPE), and Sisters in Crime (national and Colorado chapter). * Maintained my membership in Pikes Peak Writers.* Finally visited an IKEA store for the first time.* Started learning how to knit cool-looking homemade socks. * Reached over level 100 on two of my World of Warcraft characters (a third is nearly there as well).* Got new glasses for the first time in 11 years.* Replaced our iPhones with Android phones in June 2017.* Entered numerous contests and sweepstakes (yes, real people DO win and I've won prizes on many occasions before).* Completed various paid surveys. * Launched the Writers Seeking Editors community on FB. * Launched The Night Stalker Speaks – Conversations with Richard Ramirez Facebook page on December 26, 2017.* Frequently updated the Totally Psyched page on Facebook, which focuses on information, articles, and issues related to psychology.* Maintained and was admin of 30 Facebook pages and groups. * Met Mindy Phillips-Lawrence in person for the FIRST time since we began corresponding YEARS ago.* Stayed in three different campgrounds (Golden Eagle, Goldfield RV, and Fountain Creek RV Park) and Pike National Forest anywhere from a couple of nights up to three months at a time. * Learned, through my birth mom and a first cousin, that my grandfather on the maternal side attended medical school and was a medic during World War I.* Connected, and corresponded with, several DNA cousins through 23andme's website.* Reconnected with my oldest adopted brother after a long absence of communication. * Connected with several people I hadn't spoken to in well over a decade.* Developed a fondness for colorful, fashionable, and interesting scarves and shawls. * Published one erotica story under a pen name, with another in progress.* Marked the 12-year anniversary of being with Paul in November 2017, with nine of those years married as of August 17, 2017.* Enrolled in a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Practitioner course in November 2017, to be completed in 2018.* Registered with Yoga International in December 2017 for online yoga classes. * Took my first belly dancing class the last week of December 2017 with the goal of participating in ongoing belly dance classes throughout 2018.

So, here is the top secret project I've been keeping to myself for a while now. In fact, I was going to use a pen name for this book, but the subject of the book thinks I'm being a coward for doing that (the actual word was one I won't use here). Hence, the book will be published under my real name and I will no longer keep its progress secret.

How did I come to work on this book? Last year I had an unexpected encounter with someone who was an intermediary between me and (allegedly) the other side. I'll recount the entire story in the book, but it was an event that gave me pause.

To say I was taken aback would be an understatement. There was a heavy dose of skepticism on my part as well; however, I'm open-minded and curious, so I decided to pursue the idea. I figured, if nothing else, it would be an intriguing journey. So far, I haven't been disappointed.

Is this fiction or nonfiction? That's debatable. Either way, you'll come away with questions – and, possibly, answers.

Scheduled for publication in 2019. The book will be available in print and e-book format.

BLURB:

What would an infamous serial killer like Richard Ramirez, The Night Stalker, say if he could communicate after death?

In The Night Stalker Speaks – Conversations with Richard Ramirez, Bev Sninchak not only explores and analyzes the history of Richard Ramirez's reign of terror in the mid-80s, but also conducts experiments dealing with after-death communication. The results will not only fascinate you, they will chill you to the bone.

Graphic content warning: only recommended for readers 18+.

I've learned to ignore naysayers. I've proven them wrong more than once (which, of course, I delight in doing). Had I listened to them, Sun Signs for Writers would've never gotten published because I would've second-guessed myself and stopped writing it.

Instead, I believed in the manuscript. I wrote my first nonfiction book proposal, crafted a sample chapter, submitted it to the publisher I most wanted to publish the manuscript, and set out to snag the literary agent I wanted to represent me.

What happened? I did things ass-backward, but the result was the same: my query, proposal, and sample chapter resulted in selling the manuscript to the publisher I'd picked first. Then, I approached Meredith Bernstein, the agent I wanted to sign with because she'd been an agent for YEARS in the publishing industry. She took me on as a client and proceeded to deal with the contract I was offered, making changes to it that would benefit me more.

Below is what bestselling author Dean Koontz has to say about naysayers. Read what he says. Take it to heart. Not everyone's opinion matters. Yes, I said it. It's true. Plus, opinions are like assholes – everybody's got one. My agent's opinion matters more than my neighbor's does.

Remember: there are countless armchair quarterbacks. Not everything they say matters. You're out here, doing it. Opening a vein and exposing the soft belly of your soul. They're not.

Keep writing. Create. Learn. Improve. Build your backbone until it's like steel because, in the publishing industry, you'll need it. Above all, keep moving forward. As a writer, you're doing something most people never even attempt. As for the naysayers? Smile, nod, and do what you were going to do anyway.

And now, Dean Koontz:

"One of the hardest things a writer needs to do is learn to tell the difference between worthwhile criticism and mere naysaying. Here are a few ways to tell the difference.

Worthwhile criticism will be highly specific; naysaying will be a broad kind of negativism.

Worthwhile criticism of specific detail will be delivered in a helpful tone; naysaying will have a snarky edge to it.
Worthwhile criticism comes from people who have a deep experience of fiction—writing it, editing it, marketing it; naysaying comes from people who have done none of that.

To get on with your career, don’t waste time responding to the naysayers. Don’t dwell on what they’ve said. Stay true to your vision. Instead of letting their negativism get you down and slow you down, adopt an 'oh-yeah?' attitude and double your effort; move faster into the future. The world is full of people who say it can’t be done. If everyone listened to them, we’d still live in caves—and there would be no such thing as books.

Best,
Dean Koontz"

Almost forgot to mention my dream about Jim Morrison the other night. To my astonishment, I finally got to meet the Lizard King/Mr. Mojo Risin'.I was visiting a huge warehouse that served as a store for discontinued and discounted merchandise. I went there to get white taper candles.As I entered the store across a walkway, I saw Jim sitting next to a guy who was interviewing him. There was a small crowd listening in. Jim was older and sported a thick beard, similar to what he had shortly before he died. He had scattered streaks of grey throughout his hair, too, but he still looked attractive for his age -- almost stately. He was thoughtful and relaxed when he spoke. He told the crowd he was glad to be back.Minutes later, the interviewer took a break and I stood there in shock, doing little more than staring at Jim. Then I thought, "Screw it! I'm not missing this opportunity." I nervously approached Jim and introduced myself, apologizing for bothering him. He was gracious and held my hands as he stood there talking to me for at least ten or fifteen minutes. The conversation was smooth, as if we'd been friends forever.I told him how I'd enjoyed his poetry, his lyrics, and how An American Prayer was one of my favorite albums. This is true; in fact, once I shuffle off this mortal coil, "Feast of Friends (The Severed Garden)" is one of the spoken word recordings I'd like played at my memorial service, along with the short, yet haunting track titled "Albinoni: Adagio."Jim had to get back to the interview, so we said our goodbyes. He assured me he'd be in contact and asked for my business card, which I gladly gave to him. Then I walked away in disbelief as I headed toward the candle section. For some reason, once I arrived there, I'd decided I wanted shorter candles. Weird!Jim was right when he proclaimed that no one here gets out alive. None of us do, you know. "Where's your will to be weird?" --Jim Morrison

)0( NEW RELEASE! )0(

Title:
Nocturnal Musings, Volume 2 – Ponderings, Essays, & Meditations

Author: Bev Walton-Porter

ISBN: 9781370954018

Price: 99 cents – e-book version (print version pending)

Short description:

In the second volume of Nocturnal Musings, author Bev Walton-Porter offers up another helping of ponderings and essays examining everything from the mundane to the spiritual aspects of everyday life.

Whether it's finding humor in a freak hair vs. seat belt accident or contemplating one's value and worth in this fast and raw world of ours, Walton-Porter reminds us to find the humor where we can, contemplate and/or meditate when possible, and ride the waves of life's challenges one overwhelming arc at a time.

Categories: Personal Memoirs
Body, Mind & Spirit
Inspiration & Personal Growth

Available via many outlets, including Apple iBooks, Amazon, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Scribd, and more. To download your copy today, visit one of these distributors:

Apple iTunes store: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1278683958

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075CQH2DB

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/nocturnal-musings-volume-2-selected-essays-ponderings-and-meditations

Books2Read: https://books2read.com/u/3J0DoJ

Gumroad: https://gum.co/zIPm

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/746194

inktera: http://www.inktera.com/store/title/6d7988b6-bbdc-4373-be47-d891884e6fa0

scribd: https://www.scribd.com/book/357864658/Nocturnal-Musings-Volume-2-Selected-Essays-Ponderings-and-Meditations

Playster: https://play.playster.com/books/10009781386195665/nocturnal-musings-volume-2-selected-essays-ponderings-and-meditations-bev-walton-porter?utm_expid=94568054-165.TzQrblFJROWCY_VO8tvBKw.0

)0( NEW RELEASE! )0(

Title:
Nocturnal Musings, Volume 2 – Ponderings, Essays, & Meditations

Author: Bev Walton-Porter

ISBN: 9781370954018

Price: 99 cents – e-book version (print version pending)

Short description:

In the second volume of Nocturnal Musings, author Bev Walton-Porter offers up another helping of ponderings and essays examining everything from the mundane to the spiritual aspects of everyday life.

Whether it's finding humor in a freak hair vs. seat belt accident or contemplating one's value and worth in this fast and raw world of ours, Walton-Porter reminds us to find the humor where we can, contemplate and/or meditate when possible, and ride the waves of life's challenges one overwhelming arc at a time.

Categories: Personal Memoirs
Body, Mind & Spirit
Inspiration & Personal Growth

Available via many outlets, including Apple iBooks, Amazon, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Scribd, and more. To download your copy today, visit one of these distributors:

Apple iTunes store: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1278683958

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075CQH2DB

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/nocturnal-musings-volume-2-selected-essays-ponderings-and-meditations

Books2Read: https://books2read.com/u/3J0DoJ

Gumroad: https://gum.co/zIPm

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/746194

inktera: http://www.inktera.com/store/title/6d7988b6-bbdc-4373-be47-d891884e6fa0

scribd: https://www.scribd.com/book/357864658/Nocturnal-Musings-Volume-2-Selected-Essays-Ponderings-and-Meditations

Playster: https://play.playster.com/books/10009781386195665/nocturnal-musings-volume-2-selected-essays-ponderings-and-meditations-bev-walton-porter?utm_expid=94568054-165.TzQrblFJROWCY_VO8tvBKw.0