Kerisma Vere's Blog - Posts Tagged "resilience"
From Critic to Compassionate Ally — The story of The Light Switch Myth
Kerisma Vere’s journey to wellness was not a straight line. Like many, she struggled with an inner critic that constantly undermined her efforts. “You’re not good enough,” “You’ll never change.” “You have to get it perfect.” These were the harsh words she battled daily in her younger years. . However, rather than letting these thoughts define her, Kerisma chose to challenge them. Through more than a decade of dedicated work on the relationship she has with herself , She learned to transform her inner critic into an inner coach. Today, as author of The Light Switch Myth: A Beginner’s Guide to Realistic and Sustainable Change and founder of Towards Wellness Coaching , Kerisma helps others do the same by embracing a gentler, more compassionate approach to change and to themselves.
The Path to Coaching and Writing
Kerisma’s journey to coaching and writing was shaped by her struggles with self-criticism and the pursuit of personal growth. She learned that traditional self-improvement methods, focused on willpower and discipline, often create shame and guilt rather than lasting change. She discovered that true transformation begins with self-compassion. Shifting from harsh self-criticism to compassionate encouragement made change more accessible and enjoyable. This shift helped sustain the behaviors that lead to lasting results. Compelled to share her insights, Kerisma wrote The Light Switch Myth, challenging the quick-fix mentality and advocating for a sustainable approach to change, addressing the deeper components that hinder lasting transformation.
A Unique Perspective on Personal Transformation
Her personal experiences laid the groundwork for her coaching practice. Kerisma draws from over 55 years of lived experience, 35 years of working with skilled counselors and coaches, and more than a decade of wellness coaching, to offer a unique perspective on personal transformation. She emphasizes that change doesn’t come from forcing oneself to be better but from learning to be kind to oneself throughout the process.
“We need to meet ourselves where we are at and offer ourselves a helping hand to be able to create change from a place that is meaningful and will last. Coming down hard on ourselves or pressuring ourselves to be someone or somewhere we are not yet, only makes our struggle more painful and results in less progress not more.”
The Power of Compassion
In working with others and in healing aspects of her own past, Kerisma noticed a recurring theme: harsh self-judgment and unrealistic and impossible expectations we place on ourselves. She realized that almost all of us have this inner critic and that despite a culture that teaches us to be strict and demanding of ourselves that it always works against us.. Perhaps “cracking the whip” or “shoulding” ourselves will work in the short term but it always backfires and leads to bigger and longer lasting setbacks. Showing ourselves patience, understanding, and compassion towards the things we want for ourselves and the struggles we face in trying to achieve them helps us keep going and promotes progress. Kerisma recognized that the ways many of us had been taught to approach change was in fact the real root of the difficulty and repeated experiences of failure most people faced. Through her own trial and error she confirmed that leaders such as Brene Brown, Tara Brach, and Dr Kristen Neff were in fact providing a much more successful model of personal growth, transformation, quality of life and yes even creating change. She began incorporating these principles into her work, and her private life, guiding her clients to embrace a softer, more patient approach to personal growth. She wants anyone who doubts that being nice to yourself works better than being hard on yourself to know…it really does.
Coaching Philosophy: More Than Perfection
Kerisma’s coaching isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about showing up for oneself, even when progress seems slow. It’s about working to develop a kinder, more unconditional, more supportive, and more attuned relationship with yourself. This naturally creates a foundation from which how we approach and sustain change brings about more meaning and more engagement, ultimately leading to less internal struggle and a more rewarding experience of engaging in the behaviours required to meet our goals. This philosophy is the cornerstone of The Light Switch Myth, which encourages readers to move from self-criticism to self-support by taking a closer look within.
“Creating a kinder, more compassionate relationship to self in tandem with aligning our goals to our values and the things that are important to us deep down, while adjusting day to day based on the information and feedback our internal world embodies and gives us, is in my opinion the true recipe for realistic and sustainable change.” excerpt from The Light Switch Myth Chapter 9
The Trauma-Informed Approach
Kerisma understands the impact of unacknowledged trauma and the frustration of generic self-help plans that didn’t fit her needs. For years, she struggled with self-blame and tried to force herself into methods that didn’t align with her experience. In her late 40s, she began working with a trauma-informed counselor, which deeply influenced her approach to coaching.
Now, Kerisma advocates for trauma-informed practices in wellness, addiction, recovery, and mental health services, believing they are essential for meaningful change. She recognizes that simply telling someone with a trauma history what to do can lead to further struggles. People must be met where they are, embracing their full histories and wounds.
Her coaching creates a safe space for clients to set personalized goals and address the emotional scars of past experiences. In The Light Switch Myth, Kerisma integrates trauma-informed practices, offering tools and insights for self-compassion, healing, and sustainable transformation.
A Commitment to Integrity and Accessibility
Kerisma’s approach to coaching stands out because of her commitment to integrity and compassion. She doesn’t promise quick fixes or guarantees. Instead, she empowers individuals to uncover their own answers and create change on their own terms. Her work is rooted in the belief that true wellness is about building a positive relationship with oneself, and this relationship requires respect, patience, and self-compassion. When we learn how to support and respond to ourselves with the same kind of compassion, encouragement, and unconditional love, many of us have always naturally offered others, we become our own best resource for navigating the ups and downs and twists and turns that lasting change involves.
Kerisma also believes in making her services accessible to vulnerable populations, ensuring that her approach is inclusive. She has created an integrity and accessibility policy to support individuals who may not have the resources to access traditional wellness services. This commitment to accessibility is part of what makes her approach unique and effective.
The Power of Vulnerability
Kerisma’s authenticity is one of her greatest strengths. She doesn’t present herself as someone who has all the answers, but rather as someone who has walked the difficult path of healing and transformation, a journey that continues even now. She shares her struggles and triumphs openly while encouraging others to learn to acknowledge them within themselves. Her writing and coaching are grounded in this authenticity, reminding others that healing is a personal, non-linear journey. She has long believed that when people have the courage to share openly and honestly we move to transform the stereotypes and harmful misinformation that has left many of us feeling alone and misunderstood. We begin to reshape the conversation to be more inclusive, compassionate, and helpful. But she also knows the importance of discerning with whom and to what extent as a means of ensuring continued safety in a world that is not always as receptive as we may want it to be.
The Core Message of The Light Switch Myth
In her book, The Light Switch Myth, Kerisma shows readers that meaningful change isn’t about perfection, not even about progress. It’s about learning to love ourselves for who we are in this moment and thus change becomes a hope for ourselves and not a condition of self worth. It’s about learning to accept and support ourselves unconditionally, even in moments of difficulty. Particularly in moments of difficulty. This is the core message she hopes to impart to anyone who feels stuck or overwhelmed or just plain tired of being mean to themselves. Her message, one that comes from personal experience, it is possible to create a softer place to land within.
The Path to Coaching and Writing
Kerisma’s journey to coaching and writing was shaped by her struggles with self-criticism and the pursuit of personal growth. She learned that traditional self-improvement methods, focused on willpower and discipline, often create shame and guilt rather than lasting change. She discovered that true transformation begins with self-compassion. Shifting from harsh self-criticism to compassionate encouragement made change more accessible and enjoyable. This shift helped sustain the behaviors that lead to lasting results. Compelled to share her insights, Kerisma wrote The Light Switch Myth, challenging the quick-fix mentality and advocating for a sustainable approach to change, addressing the deeper components that hinder lasting transformation.
A Unique Perspective on Personal Transformation
Her personal experiences laid the groundwork for her coaching practice. Kerisma draws from over 55 years of lived experience, 35 years of working with skilled counselors and coaches, and more than a decade of wellness coaching, to offer a unique perspective on personal transformation. She emphasizes that change doesn’t come from forcing oneself to be better but from learning to be kind to oneself throughout the process.
“We need to meet ourselves where we are at and offer ourselves a helping hand to be able to create change from a place that is meaningful and will last. Coming down hard on ourselves or pressuring ourselves to be someone or somewhere we are not yet, only makes our struggle more painful and results in less progress not more.”
The Power of Compassion
In working with others and in healing aspects of her own past, Kerisma noticed a recurring theme: harsh self-judgment and unrealistic and impossible expectations we place on ourselves. She realized that almost all of us have this inner critic and that despite a culture that teaches us to be strict and demanding of ourselves that it always works against us.. Perhaps “cracking the whip” or “shoulding” ourselves will work in the short term but it always backfires and leads to bigger and longer lasting setbacks. Showing ourselves patience, understanding, and compassion towards the things we want for ourselves and the struggles we face in trying to achieve them helps us keep going and promotes progress. Kerisma recognized that the ways many of us had been taught to approach change was in fact the real root of the difficulty and repeated experiences of failure most people faced. Through her own trial and error she confirmed that leaders such as Brene Brown, Tara Brach, and Dr Kristen Neff were in fact providing a much more successful model of personal growth, transformation, quality of life and yes even creating change. She began incorporating these principles into her work, and her private life, guiding her clients to embrace a softer, more patient approach to personal growth. She wants anyone who doubts that being nice to yourself works better than being hard on yourself to know…it really does.
Coaching Philosophy: More Than Perfection
Kerisma’s coaching isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about showing up for oneself, even when progress seems slow. It’s about working to develop a kinder, more unconditional, more supportive, and more attuned relationship with yourself. This naturally creates a foundation from which how we approach and sustain change brings about more meaning and more engagement, ultimately leading to less internal struggle and a more rewarding experience of engaging in the behaviours required to meet our goals. This philosophy is the cornerstone of The Light Switch Myth, which encourages readers to move from self-criticism to self-support by taking a closer look within.
“Creating a kinder, more compassionate relationship to self in tandem with aligning our goals to our values and the things that are important to us deep down, while adjusting day to day based on the information and feedback our internal world embodies and gives us, is in my opinion the true recipe for realistic and sustainable change.” excerpt from The Light Switch Myth Chapter 9
The Trauma-Informed Approach
Kerisma understands the impact of unacknowledged trauma and the frustration of generic self-help plans that didn’t fit her needs. For years, she struggled with self-blame and tried to force herself into methods that didn’t align with her experience. In her late 40s, she began working with a trauma-informed counselor, which deeply influenced her approach to coaching.
Now, Kerisma advocates for trauma-informed practices in wellness, addiction, recovery, and mental health services, believing they are essential for meaningful change. She recognizes that simply telling someone with a trauma history what to do can lead to further struggles. People must be met where they are, embracing their full histories and wounds.
Her coaching creates a safe space for clients to set personalized goals and address the emotional scars of past experiences. In The Light Switch Myth, Kerisma integrates trauma-informed practices, offering tools and insights for self-compassion, healing, and sustainable transformation.
A Commitment to Integrity and Accessibility
Kerisma’s approach to coaching stands out because of her commitment to integrity and compassion. She doesn’t promise quick fixes or guarantees. Instead, she empowers individuals to uncover their own answers and create change on their own terms. Her work is rooted in the belief that true wellness is about building a positive relationship with oneself, and this relationship requires respect, patience, and self-compassion. When we learn how to support and respond to ourselves with the same kind of compassion, encouragement, and unconditional love, many of us have always naturally offered others, we become our own best resource for navigating the ups and downs and twists and turns that lasting change involves.
Kerisma also believes in making her services accessible to vulnerable populations, ensuring that her approach is inclusive. She has created an integrity and accessibility policy to support individuals who may not have the resources to access traditional wellness services. This commitment to accessibility is part of what makes her approach unique and effective.
The Power of Vulnerability
Kerisma’s authenticity is one of her greatest strengths. She doesn’t present herself as someone who has all the answers, but rather as someone who has walked the difficult path of healing and transformation, a journey that continues even now. She shares her struggles and triumphs openly while encouraging others to learn to acknowledge them within themselves. Her writing and coaching are grounded in this authenticity, reminding others that healing is a personal, non-linear journey. She has long believed that when people have the courage to share openly and honestly we move to transform the stereotypes and harmful misinformation that has left many of us feeling alone and misunderstood. We begin to reshape the conversation to be more inclusive, compassionate, and helpful. But she also knows the importance of discerning with whom and to what extent as a means of ensuring continued safety in a world that is not always as receptive as we may want it to be.
The Core Message of The Light Switch Myth
In her book, The Light Switch Myth, Kerisma shows readers that meaningful change isn’t about perfection, not even about progress. It’s about learning to love ourselves for who we are in this moment and thus change becomes a hope for ourselves and not a condition of self worth. It’s about learning to accept and support ourselves unconditionally, even in moments of difficulty. Particularly in moments of difficulty. This is the core message she hopes to impart to anyone who feels stuck or overwhelmed or just plain tired of being mean to themselves. Her message, one that comes from personal experience, it is possible to create a softer place to land within.
