Jennifer Blackstream's Blog
June 3, 2014
Adrianne Brooks’ Gabriel (Kissed by Moonlight)
There is a boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister witches.
Welcome to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits, and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some of the questionnaire Adrianne Brooks’ Gabriel Evans from Kissed by the Moonlight (The Wild Hunt series) was asked to fill out after he swaggered into Sinister Stitches.
THE WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your name: Gabriel Evans
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Blond
Hair Length: [x] Short and Sharp, [ ] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Amber
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [ ] Snow White, [WTF does this one mean?] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [X] Other: Uhhh…tan. Maybe. Is that a tone?
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6’2
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [ ] Lean and Tender, [X] Lean and Tough, [I very much like this description] Ripe and Edible
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[X] Tail (How many: ) – Does it count if it’s only there part of the time?
How many heads do you have? (Your boy bit doesn’t count!)
(snickering)
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
Depends. Is it a full moon night?
How dead are you? [X] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
What are you? (Species/Breed)
Hell Hound
What is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
I’m getting married J
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
The Seelie Court
Will you be fighting for your life at some point in the evening?
(sigh) Past experience says yes.
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
I don’t set fires… (naughty grin) unless they’re the kind I can help put out.
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a tailor’s tedium.)
No. There are no graves to rob. I eat my kills like everyone else.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked that outfit out? (Basically, who let you leave the crypt in those?)
I’m wearing a gray suit, jacket unbuttoned, no tie. I pick out my own clothes. I happen to have excellent taste.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
Yes please. Thank you for asking.
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
River. Styx.
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic swords? Guns and condoms? Eyeliner, maybe?
Eyeliner? What the hell is that?
What are your three favorite colors?
I don’t really have…
I don’t…I mean I’ve never really thought about…
Her eyes are blue.
I like blue.
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
I don’t understand what colored ninjas have to do with anything. But I like the fact that you called me ‘sweetie’. Proceed.
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds, but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of us. Our philosophers.
[ ] Beast King: This is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[ ] Smooth Criminal: This is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[X] Other: I am a creature carved of nightmare. I can quote your name into the scented flesh of your skin like a song whose lyrics I’ve learned by heart. In my mind, charm is a weapon to be used against the unwary. The weak. I have it in spades. It has taken me centuries to perfect the art of being ‘human’ but don’t worry. I have the hang of it now. I am the big bad wolf, and sooner or later I always collect my due.
Who is your favorite comic/storybook villain?
Spiderman….what do you mean he wasn’t a villain?
If you could be any comic/storybook book hero, who would it be?
Superman. Or maybe Hit-girl. I like her.
Now, tell us who you love the most.
Phaedra. I love Phaedra. I don’t know much about being a human. Sometimes I lose myself. She’s the only thing that sticks. The only thing that makes any sort of sense.
Anything else you’d like to add…
How do I get home from here? She told me to wear a blindfold and…let’s just say that there was a lot of false advertising.
After many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister Stitches’ Gothic Dame
Madame Mari presents Gabriel’s
Completed Threads
“Boy Blue”
The fey lingering in the shadows is old, monarch-like butterfly wings dwarf her face in dark shadows, and her flowing Mortisha gown was spun from cobwebs and spider tears. All you can see are her eyes. Slanted, glowing and violet. They’re almost…arachnid. If you’re a woman, you’re just a little disturbed. If you’re a man, you are most intrigued. (If you’re LGBT, you’re lovin’ it.) After all, a Diva never ages. She motions toward the ghoulish mannequin, and a smile pinches her wrinkled, red mouth:
Welcome to Sinister Stitches, shugah. Now, you’re in the wrong place. Yes, yes, this is a clothing store, but we’re dressmakers. Twisted Threads is that way, dear. You can pick up a business card before you leave. I do think they’re closed today. (That is the only explanation for all this mayhem.) In the meantime, I will fashion you something appropriate to wear on your big day. Let’s talk about color, first. I’m a fan of the unique, and I think we’ve captured that in this suit. We went for a rich, cobalt blue. Something that pops, but that says “sophisticated” prince. Blue, blue, blue. There’s really no contest.
The fabric is 100 Neverland sky cashmere. Regular Cashmere is extremely expensive and very soft. It really isn’t as durable as most other fabrics, and it does not press well. However, Neverland sky has a very light blend of silk and ghost cotton. That will make it as durable as piece of full-pixie dust armor. You should be able to take anything short of a silver bullet in this suit. We’ve also taken great care to make it stain resistant—no need to worry about ruining it in a frenzied moment of passion. Just take care to take it off, beforehand. Usually, in the cases of werewolves, we fashion “tear-away” clothing, but it simply wouldn’t suit this type of suit or the occasion. So, do behave. 
In terms of cut, we went with a classic “Italian” thin-man cut. Think “Armani or Gucci.” These suits don’t usually suit wider frames, because they are tailored and form fitting. They’re meant to create harsh and clean lines. We did pad your shoulders just a wee bit to give you that extra balance. We want to really bring out that “triangle” silhouette. We did cut thin lapels, but you’ll note that you do have a vent in the jacket. Most Italian suits don’t feature them, but we figured it would be nice to have the extra freedom of movement. The outfit has a white double-collared shirt and matching cobalt silk tie with elfish striations. And Brenda threw in your Nevernight Aviator shades. But don’t embarrass me, son. You be sure to take them off during the ceremony. Now, here, take your old clothes. Now, why don’t you go make yourself useful, and go be that girl’s “something blue.”
(And save me a piece of cake!)
IMPORTANT BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Adrianne Brooks’ and Gabriel’s adventures in Kissed by Moonlight (The Wild Hunt series) please check out her author website. Adrianne also invites readers to her Facebook page here.
Care to check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your life!
For more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches series, and recent releases, please check out her website.
Image Credit(s): javiindy
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina, For the Muse Design
Rebekah Ganiere’s Adrian (Redlynn the Were Hunter)
There is a boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister witches.
Welcome to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits, and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some of the questionnaire Rebekah Ganiere’s Adrianfrom Red the Were Hunter (Fairelle Series) lifted from Brenda’s hand after he stalked into Sinister Stitches.
THE WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your name: Adrian
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Brown
Hair Length: [ ] Short and Sharp, [X] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Brown, turn golden when I shift though
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [ ] Snow White, [X] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [ ] Other:__________
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6 foot 2
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [ ] Lean and Tender, [X] Lean and Tough, [ ] Ripe and Edible
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
How many heads do you have? (Your boy bit doesn’t count!)
1
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
2 arms 2 legs
How dead are you? [X] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
What are you? (Species/Breed)
King of the Wolves. A Werewolf.
What is the occasion? (
Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
A royal wedding. A dear friend of mine recently got engaged and is to be wed. He is also royalty, but his parents are much more conventional than we are. It will be a grand affair to be remembered. I’m not really looking forward to going, but my mate Redlynn says we must.
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
It will be far south in the Dragonlands. The kingdom is a trek, but I hear the lands are quite beautiful.
Will you be fighting for your life at some point in the evening?
I surely hope not, but with the kinds of friends I keep, and the upheaval in our world right now, it is entirely possible.
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
I sure hope not.
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a tailor’s tedium.)
No.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked that outfit out? (Basically, who let you leave the crypt in those?)
Right now, I am in a pair of breeches, a deep blue tunic and a pair of leather boots.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
Yes, I suppose if I have to fight, I will be. I lose more good pieces of clothing due to shifting than anything else.
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
Vampires attacked. We fought.
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic swords? Guns and condoms? Eyeliner, maybe?
Not really. I am my own weapon, and I doubt Redlynn’s sword and bow would fit anywhere comfortably on me for me to conceal and carry it for her.
What are your three favorite colors?
Golden, the color of Redlynn’s eyes. Red, the color of Redlynn’s hair. Blue, the color of the first dress I saw her wear.
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
None really. Color is color.
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds, but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of us. Our philosophers.
[X] Beast King: This is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[ ] Smooth Criminal: This is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[ ] Other: _____________________
Who is your favorite comic/storybook villain?
I have no favorite storybook Villains. All the villains I have met are very real to me.
If you could be any comic/storybook book hero, who would it be?
Like I said, I do not read stories.
Now, tell us who you love the most.
My beautiful, strong mate Redlynn. After her my daughters and sons.
Anything else you’d like to add…
After many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister Stitches’ Leather Queen
Brenda Dweyer presents Adrian’s
Completed Threads
“ The Ripper”
Next to a gleaming, gold antique resister, Brenda the She-Wolf is posted on the counter in a snake-skin cat-suit and a pair of vicious fuck-me red pumps. Eyes shielded behind a pair of Black Pearl Aviator shades, and waves of curls pulled up and tight on top of her head in a slick and shiny ponytail. Shiny, wet and skin-tight. To look at her hurts. To touch her hurts even more. When the gentleman standing in the middle of her mother’s gothic boutique brushes his eyes up and down Wonder Woman’s body, she answers with a sharp crescent of teeth bowing in sultry smile:
Not a reader, huh? Well, I guess handing you a brochure is out of the question. Frankly, babycakes, you are a lost little babe in the woods. This is Sinister Stitches, son. Yeah, use your nose, sweetie. This is where all the pretty pink and lace is at. They make suits for gentlemen such as yourself that way. Twisted Threads. You can have a business card on your way out. However, since you seem to be new in town, I’ll take time out my very busy hunting schedule and skin you something to wear.
Now, the girls and I have no idea how people are prone to dress where you come from, so we did away with the tux and whatever. Frankly, we kept things as simple as possible in order to give you maximum versatility. That is why we completely ignored your color request. No color is more versatility than green. None. It says “beggar” and “prince” in the same breath. And frankly, nothing is better for camouflage, and I gather your wife is a hunter. Camouflage is her best friend. And if you’re gonna tag along, get with the program, sweetie. First, we’re going to start simple and keep you in white double-collared shirt. No tie. The bulk of your outfit is the special coat my sisters designed especially for you. This is a Sinister Stitches’ original. We’ve blended several different design elements to fashion you something Sherlock would be proud of. Frankly, that’s where we started. The Norfolk jacket is a Victorian classic. We did away with the tweed pattern, and instead substituted it for a blend of Neverwinter wool imported straight from the Veil. The blend is sturdy, and bulletproof.
Likewise, we did away with the fitted, tailored cut. You don’t need them. You’re physique speaks on its own. You were born blessed like that, so we adapted the material into a Helsing cut. The full “skirt” is free and flowing, and offers plenty of space for several Void compartments. Void material is imported from the Oblivion (incubus) realm. There is one pocket in particular that is cut wide enough to allow a moderately sized bow to fit with ease. Arrows can be holstered in the pocket below it. Anything placed into the Void pocket will bend and fold with the material.
Now, that’s only if you hunt together. My husband and I prefer to do such things to together. If the color doesn’t suit, you are free to change it with by calling your coats name “Ripper” and issuing a simple color command. It should respond and adapt within in seconds. Don’t get flashy with the commands. Keep it basic. The wool used to fashion this outfit is a blend of several types of spider linens. It will revolt and constrict around you if you upset it. However, it is inflammable, and incredibly light and durable. The perfect hunter’s jacket.
I know, I’m the shit. Now, here, take this business card, and get out—you’re shedding all over my floor.
IMPORTANT BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Rebekah Ganiere and Adrian’s adventures in Redlynn the Were Hunter series please check out her author website.
Care to check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your life!
For more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches series, and recent releases, please check out her website.
Image Credit(s): captblack76
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina, For the Muse Design
Marie Hall’s Luc (Night Series)
There is a boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister witches.
Welcome to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits, and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some of the questionnaire Marie Hall’s Luc from the Night series was
THE WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your name: Luc
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Blond
Hair Length: [ ] Short and Sharp, [X] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Glittering, deep purple
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [X] Snow White, [ ] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [ ] Other:__________
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6 ft
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [ ] Lean and Tender, [X] Lean and Tough, [ ] Ripe and Edible
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
How many heads do you have?
Really?
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
I have an idea, how about I take off my clothes and show you, oh luscious witch.
How dead are you? [X] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
What are you? (Species/Breed)
Nephilim. I’m a Lust demon. Which means I’m sexy as sin. Wanna take a ride?
What is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
Who the hell cares, I’m only here for the after party
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
You in my bed, spread out before me wearing nothing but a smile…
Will you be fighting for your life at some point in the evening?
Only if you say no *lecherous grin*
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
Only if they interrupt me, then all hell will break loose.
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a dressmaker’s tedium.)
Darling, these hands will only get dirty in bed.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked that outfit out? (Basically, who let you leave the crypt in those?)
Nothing. At. All.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
I don’t hope—I know I will be.
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
I laid her down, crawled between her legs, and made her weep with two flicks of my tongue…
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic swords and guns, condoms…eyeliner, maybe?
*snorts* That’s funny
What are your three favorite colors?
Buff. Nude. Flesh.
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
Whatever you need them to be.
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds, but that smile holds hope for all of us. Our wizards.
[ ] Beast King: This is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[X] Smooth Criminal: This is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[ ] Other: _____________________
Who is your favorite fairy tale villain?
I eat those bastards for breakfast. I’m the real big bad wolf.
If you could be any comic book hero, who would it be?
Whatever you want me to be.
Now, tell us who you love the most.
Not who. What. Sex. All the time. Every day. My cock in your warm flesh, your skin on mine, mine on yours. Bareback. Doggie. Missionary. I really don’t care, I’ll make you come anyway you ask me to.
Anything else you’d like to add…
There is only one person in all the world I ever gave two shits about. Her name’s Pandora and I stabbed her through the heart. I might be a lover, but don’t ever think you can tame me.
After many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister Stitches’ Medieval Mistress
Astrid Dweyer presents Luc’s
Completed Threads
“Tailored Temptation”
There is a vampire stalking you from the shadows of Sinister Stitches’ tearoom. Her eyes are slanted, jaded amethyst glowing in the darkness. You can’t see her face, but every cutting sweep of her long lashes is felt against your cheek. Seated with miles of oil-black coils wound at her feet, she clad in a black satin pencil-skirt dress. Black stiletto catching the light and gleaming like a silver stake. She uses the tip of her twisted bone wand to pull purple tea-shades down her slender nose:
Oh, baby…you must be lost. Have to be. First of all, Twisted Threads is that way. That’s where they make threads for wicked ones of the male gender. Second, welcome to Sinister Stitches. Bow down and worship, sinner, I’m Astrid the Medieval Mistress running shit on this catwalk. And I’m about the only one who could be trusted to fashion your treads. Gillian wouldn’t have lasted a second; wench would be naked as we speak. And Brenda would’ve ridden that ass like a naughty pony. I’m Astrid the Tempest. And I’m not interested. Ah, ah, ah—shut up and stop smiling at me, hot mess. I cannot be seduced, I cannot be held in thrall, and I cannot be charmed. You risk that hard shit between your thighs at your own peril, understood? And lastly, the only reason I’m fashioning you threads is because this is my mother’s store and she doesn’t believe in turning down good business. So, I’m going to get up from this chair now, and you’re gonna keep your goddamn hands to yourself. Demon or no, I will have that candy ass in a sling. Ah, ah, ah—what did I say? Shut up, I’ve killed fools for less. That’s right, I axed the realbig bad wolf. And then, I made a fucking dress out of his skin. So don’t push me, ingrate.
Now, I didn’t bother with a shirt. Obviously, you won’t need it. Seems like no matter what you’re doing, you’re going to end up naked, but what the hell? Come here and put on this jacket and these pants for giggles. The fabric is a New Gothel wool and black butterfly cashmere blend. It will have the durability afforded to wool, but cashmere drapes better and has that otherworldly “dressed to kill” shimmer. Won’t hold creases very well, but that’s not an issue, considering it probably won’t stay on long. We went British for the cut. Expect mild shoulder padding, notched lapels, and a tailored fit. It will show off all that supposed sexy in the right light. However, we did do away with buttons. All of them. The onyx buttons on your jacket’s cuff were fashioned from golem eyes, and they’re purely decorative. Otherwise, you will not find a single button on your outfit. Frankly, I’m not going to be blamed every time you pop your cork and take out an eye.
Everything is regular, run of the mill Velcro. Indeed, I sure did make you some tear-away threads. Now…
Astrid stalks to the front door and throws it open. Beyond the threshold, the city is growling to life in the rising twilight: You in my store, pack up all nine inches of that impressive cock and go search the stars for a clue.
Stop it! Stop kissing me—okay, okay, just one on the cheek. Your are kinda cute. Now, get out.
IMPORTANT BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Marie Hall and Luc’s adventures in the Night series please check out her author website.
Care to check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your life!
For more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches series, and recent releases, please check out her website.
Image Credit(s): MaxFrost
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina, For the Muse Design
Cry Wolf
A New Gotham Fairy Tale
Sophie Avett
Genre: Dark Fantasy Romance (MM/New Adult)
Publisher: Skeleton Key Publishing
Date of Publication: May 1, 2014
Number of pages: est. 22 pages
Word Count: est. 10, 000
Cover Artist: Elaina, For the Muse Design
Amazon BN ARe Kobo Smashwords
Book Description:
There’s a wild animal on the loose in the black forests surrounding New Gotham…
Not that anyone cares.
Well, Peter doesn’t care.
Peter Ume is more interested in finding a way to alleviate the skull-numbing boredom of a city wide shut down. So far his ideas for excitement hover between stealing an unwary idiot’s underwear (soul works, too), setting someone’s eyebrows on fire, or stabbing the next person he meets in the eye with a hot French fry.
It turns out, he’ll be able to save assault and theft for a rainy day. As luck would have it, this naughty kitsune is about to meet the big bad wolf.
And man, is the wolf in for a surprise…
Warning: This story can be read as a standalone, but you will want to smack Sophie for it. (Or so the ravens have said.) So, do keep in mind that there is a part two. (And it will be a freebie. Sophie’s Pixies will carrier pigeon everyone more information soon.)
About the Author:
Sophie Avett is kind of a nerd. Like not even one of the cute, hip ones everyone brags about nowadays. More like the socially awkward hippie who eats way too much bread and dreams about being a dragon from behind towers of mythology books. Um…yeah. Picture old, tattered paperbacks and comic books–mostly Batman and Wonder Woman–dwarfing a tiny desk, with just barely enough room for the troll who writes there and the 70 pound hell-hound that insists on laying it’s wet nose on top of her bare foot.
Granted not the most exciting existence, but she tries to make up for it by writing romances populated with her own peculiar ilk of paranormal beasties. Trolls, wyverns, the obscure Nordic brownie–she likes to keep things interesting. And bloody. (And mostly naked–but, we’ll keep that bit between us.)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SophieAvett
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7779293.Sophie_Avett
Sinister Stitches Boutique Blog: http://thebrimstonepub.com/
Newsletter Post-Its, the Blog: http://sophieavett.weebly.com/post-its-the-blog.html
Brimstone Pub, the Blog: http://thebrimstonepub.com/
Jennifer Blackstream’s Adonis (Golden Stair)
There is a boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister witches.
Welcome to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits, and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some of the questionnaire Jennifer Blackstream’s Adonis from Golden Stair (Blood Prince Series)lifted from Astrid’s hand with a smile after he swaggered into Sinister Stitches.
THE WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your name: Adonis
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Brown
Hair Length: [ ] Short and Sharp, [X] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Hazel
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [ ] Snow White, [X] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [ ] Other:__________
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6’ 0”
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [ ] Lean and Tender, [x]
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[X] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[X] Wings (Span: 12 ft. )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
How many heads do you have? Two (smirk)
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
Contrary to what some people claim, just the two. The other’s not a leg.
How dead are you? [ ] Living, [ ] Undead, [X] Astral Form
What are you? (Species/Breed)
Incubus (demon)
What is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
Dinner with a vampire and his wife. Kirill has instructed me that this is a fully clothed occasion. He had the cheek to tell me that I wasn’t going to be allowed near his room with my wife. Sheesh. It was an honest mistake last time. Plane shifting is an art, not a science…
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
A dreary castle in Dacia. Formal dining room.
Will you be fighting for your life at some point in the evening?
Not if vampires can take a joke. So, yes.
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
My wife has set the bed on fire by accident seven times. Flames stopped bothering me a long time ago. Somehow I’m sure Kirill will know that and have devised an alternative method of chastisement.
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a dressmaker’s tedium.)
No grave robbing. Vampires frown on that.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked that outfit out? (Basically, who let you leave the crypt in those?)
White toga with a crimson over the shoulder sash. My wife’s face does odd things when I try to leave the house naked.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
Sadly, no. But there’s always hope.
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
Met the mother. Out of body experience.
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic swords and guns, condoms…eyeliner, maybe?
If you could make me a big sword that looks like Prince Patricio’s, I might be able to finally push that angel right over the edge…
What are your three favorite colors?
Ivy’s got the red, orange, yellow handled. Perhaps cooler colors to complement her?
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
My brain is ninja-proof.
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds, but that smile holds hope for all of us. Our wizards.
[ ] Beast King: This is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[X] Smooth Criminal: This is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[ ] Other: _____________________
Who is your favorite fairy tale villain?
The wolf who courted Little Red Riding Hood. He was a little confused about the phrase “getting into her clothes,” but you can’t fault his effort.
If you could be any comic book hero, who would it be?
Gambit
Now, tell us who you love the most.
My wife, Ivy
Anything else you’d like to add…
After many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister Stitches’ Medieval Mistress
Astrid Dweyer presents Adonis’
Completed Threads
“Sinful”
There is a vampire stalking you from the shadows of Sinister Stitches’ tearoom. Her eyes are slanted, jaded amethyst glowing in the darkness. You can’t see her face, but every cutting sweep of her long lashes is felt against your cheek. Seated on a stool with miles of oil-black coils wound at her feet, she is clad in a black satin pencil-skirt dress. Black stiletto catching the light and gleaming like a silver stake. She uses the tip of her twisted bone wand to pull purple tea-shades down her slender nose:
Have you lost your mind, dear? Is that why you’re here? Don’t give me that look. This is Sinister Stitches. We cater to the ladies. Men and other apes get their outfits from Twisted Threads. And no, you can stop looking so scared–you haven’t slept with and forgotten me. My sparkling personality has nothing to do with you, but seriously—WHAT are you doing here?
Ah, ah—don’t answer that. This is my mother’s store and she doesn’t believe in turning down good business, so I will fashion you a suit, but don’t expect me to be happy about it. Now, pay attention, I haven’t a clue what people wear to social functions wherever the hell you come from, but I’ve done my best to fashion you something appropriate.
Now, look over—WHAT are you doing?! Stop touching that, heathen! And that! Oh my god, give me that, too.
Here, have a fucking Kit Kat and settle down. I’m stitching over here. *smacks a needle-cushion out of his hand, grabs his chin and forces it to the mirror* You’ll note that we didn’t bother fashioning you a jacket. You probably won’t wear it anyways. So, we skipped straight to a double collared shirt. Note that we imported some Illusion buttons from Midgaurd. They do not engage into a slit like regular ones. No need to put someone’s eye out every time you want to crack open your shirt, and beat on your chest. The shirt will remain fastened as long as the lapels are lined up, and you physically pull the panels open.
You’re welcome, ingrate.
Otherwise, we’ve fitted your starched, black slacks with the same buttons, and my sister Gillian insisted you at least wear a bow tie to the function. No, you don’t have to wear it now. What are you doing? Put your the tie back on. Close your shirt. Why are you smiling at me like that? Oh my god, you wouldn’t? I swear to the gods, I will pick up that mirror and call your wife—Adonis. Adonis! Oh my god, is that a…leg? *takes off screaming into the night* Brenda! Quick! Attack!
IMPORTANT BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Jennifer Blackstream and Adonis’ adventures in the Blood Prince series please check out her author website.
Care to check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your life!
For more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches series, and recent releases, please check out her website.
Image Credit(s): CURAphotography
Image Editing Credit(s):Elaina, For the Muse Design
Julia Austen’s Truman (Enticed by the Enemy)
There is a boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister witches.
Welcome to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits, and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some of the questionnaire Julia Austen’s Truman O’Connor from Enticed by the Enemy demanded from Gillian with a slick smile after he swaggered into Sinister Stitches.
THE WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your name: Truman O’Connor
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Brown
Hair Length: [X] Short and Sharp, [ ] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Grey
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [ ] Snow White, [ ] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [X] Other: Tan. I’m a firm believer in keeping up that sun-kissed glow. Ladies love it, ask any one of my three ex-wives.
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6’
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [ ] Lean and Tender, [ ] Lean and Tough, [X] Ripe and Edible (Is this your version of a muscular build? Because that’s what I am. Long hours at the gym have that effect on a body.)
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
How many heads do you have? (Your boy bit doesn’t count!)
Are you quite certain it can’t be counted? Although the one on my shoulders is quite attractive, I think it would be rather unfair to dismiss the lower regions of my anatomy altogether.
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
2 arms, 2 legs.
How dead are you? [X] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
What are you? (Species/Breed)
I’m human, although if you were to ask my son. I’m sure he would claim I’m heartless and quite inhuman. Stupid kid, doesn’t know how to use the brain in his head. He’d rather let that blasted heart rule his decisions.
What is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
The occasion? Hmm, let’s just say I have very importantbusiness to attend to with my dear boy and that tramp of his who keeps stirring up so much trouble. If she’d just sell me that bloody bed and breakfast of hers, things could work out quite nicely. I’d get what I want and she and my son could continue this silly rendezvous they’ve got going on without my interference. The wench is setting herself up for heartache, however. She could never belong in the world of an O’Connor. One day my son will tire of her and move on. How could he not? It’s in his blood.
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
I’ll be heading over to Anne’s Place, the bed and breakfast I’m well on my way to owning. A visit is long overdue. By the time I’m finished with her, Allison will be begging me to take the place off her hands.
Will you be fighting for your life at some point in the evening?
Me? No. It’s Trey and Allison that should be concerned should they get in my way. Trey has enough sense to know when he’s been bested but I’m not sure the same can be said of her.
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
Setting a fire? Well there’s an idea…
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a tailor’s tedium.)
Not in this suit.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked that outfit out? (Basically, who let you leave the crypt in those?)
I’m in a grey pinstriped Brioni suit. Green shirt. Matching tie. Yes, I look dashing and yes, this suit cost more than many will make in a year. But what can I say? Only the best.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
I may end up in some lucky ladies bed by the end of the night. Just do me a favor and don’t let the Mrs. know.
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
My wife found a lipstick stain on my shirt collar that didn’t belong to her. It was an interesting night.
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic swords? Guns and condoms? Eyeliner, maybe?
A place for a gun might come in handy. What’s the old saying? Ah, yes, “hope for the best, prepare for the worst”. I believe in leaving nothing to chance. Rest assured Trey won’t and I’ll not allow him to catch me unprepared.
What are your three favorite colors?
Black, green, and blue.
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
I’m sorry, what? I’m going to need you to rephrase the question.
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds, but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of us. Our philosophers.
[X] Beast King: This is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[ ] Smooth Criminal: This is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[ ] Other:
Who is your favorite comic/storybook villain?
My dear, it’s been quite a while since I’ve read a comic or storybook. If you’d like to talk about the New York Stock Exchange, that would be more up my alley.
If you could be any comic/storybook book hero, who would it be?
Will this question really help you make me a suit? If not, I’d prefer to skip it. I’m getting rather bored and I need to get going.
Now, tell us who you love the most.
Love is a sign of weakness and I’m not weak. If you don’t believe me just ask Trey about what love does to a man.
Anything else you’d like to add…
Yeah, do me a favor and keep everything on this form private. My son doesn’t need to expect me. He’s rather fond of surprises and oh, do I have a surprise in store for him…
After many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister Stitches’ Rockabilly Starlet
Gillian Dweyer presents Truman’ s
Completed Threads
“Slow Burn”
The witch that greets you is by far the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Oil back curls frame her sweet moon-face, little button nose between two lush black suns for eyes. The poet’s shirt hanging off her dainty snow-white shoulders is of pale mauve crepe de Chine, rounded neckline with frill and long full sleeves cut by narrow bands around the wrists. Otherwise, everything else is pink. Pink, pink, pink. The close fitting, long skirt flaring gradually from her hips to the floor, the pink ballerina six-inch stilettos—everything about this woman is princess pink. Her small, pouty mouth curves in a flash of cute, somewhat crooked teeth:
I’m Gillian, babycakes, and I’m the Sinister Stitches’ Rockabilliy Starlet. Now, first, let me take that coat, dear. I need you a little more naked for this. And second, here, the NG Stock Exchange. Spider Shine is up by sixty-four points today. Astrid, my fledgling sister, advises you bend over and get some while it’s still good. Personally, I refused to invest another coin of hard-earned rubies and rations into any market, or bank for that matter, until someone with more than cookies for brains reenacts the Glass-Steagall Act. Won’t have bankers playin’ with my poker chips. Won’t do it.
But alas, all that naughty-licious is beside the point…*taps his nose with a seashell pink fingernail, lipstick shining so bright, he can almost see his gaping expression of utter fucking shock* We’ve got stitchin’ to do.
Now, you’ll notice that I took it upon myself to completely ignore your color requests for the most part. Frankly, darker colors don’t suit the truly wicked. Such evil is always felt, and often ignored, because it’s subtle. It’s the shades of gray and washed-out bone whites—those colors suit the truly evil. There is no need for villains to scream “LOOK at me” with their colors. On the contrary, you will stand out with a sharp and simplistic undercurrent. Threatening without having to say a word. After all, look at all these people in their flashy clothes, and there you are with that handsome mouth quirked in a faint sinister smirk. Completely above giving a whit about false pretention because you’re too busy conquering the known world.
Honestly, you remind me of my husband. Villainous sort, he is. Drop dead sexy, too. In regards, to the cut and fit of the suit—there was absolutely no contest. We went with the “British” cut for you. The lounge suit is of cream and ash brown Rumpel tweed. We did away with the waistcoat; to give your torso some breathing room. There is no need for you to be bulging out of your suit. Muscles are wonderful, but they do nothing for elegant lines. Speaking of elegance, you’ll note that the jacket is longer than those usually used today, and has been outfitted with an Oblivion Void inside pocket. It will accommodate a gun, and fold the steel with the pocket of reality. I will NOT have you ruining my lines with toys Lastly, your double collared shirt is starched and worn with an Avalon blue speckled tie. We’ve thrown in this authentic Victorian walking cane and the top hat was crafted from Neverland fawn hatter’s plush, the brim dripping a little at the front and back. Just to give you that extra air of authority, and more importantly, mystery. Now, here’s a business card for Rumpel’s Twisted Threads—I haven’t the faintest idea what possessed you to come in here. This is obviously a woman’s store, dear.
Oh and before I forget, between you and me, I absolutely understand what it is to be saddled with problem children. As a matter of fact, should Trey wander this way, I’ll do my absolute best to set him on the right path. Now, you best be off to breakfast, dear. You know, what they like to say…
Gillian graciously escorts him out the door and slams the door shut behind him, a gruesome smile curving at the corner of her pretty smile: Out of the pan, and into the fire.
IMPORTANT BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Julia Austen and Truman ‘O Connor adventures in Enticed by the Enemy: please check out her author website. If you’re interested in signing up for Julia Austen’s mailing list for a release notification when Enticed by the Enemy is available for purchase, please use the form here.
Care to check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your life!
For more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches series, and recent releases, please check out her website.
Image Credit(s): guerrieroale
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina, For the Muse Design
Sophie Avett’s Nick (Grave Digger)
There is a boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister witches.
Welcome to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits, and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some of the questionnaire Sophie Avett’s Nick from Iron Will (New Gotham Fairy Tale) lifted from Brenda’s hand with a smile after he swaggered into Sinister Stitches. [READER WARNING: EXPLICIT LAUNGUAGE, ADULT THEMES, VERY FUNNY. BEWARE.]
THE WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your name: Nick Grimm
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Blond
Hair Length: [ ] Short and Sharp, [X] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Brown (People tell me they go silver sometimes—fuck, if I know or care.)
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [ ] Snow White, [ ] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [X] Other: Wow, ya’ll need to get your shit together. I’m on question five, and I’m already having a hard time taking this bullshit seriously, but since you asked, I’m a Vanilla Oreo. Or white chocolate. I prefer Oreo, though. Times are hard for a cookie out here.
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6ft (Most of that is dick by the way…)
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [ ] Lean and Tender, [X] Lean and Tough, [ ] Ripe and Edible
Okay, but my ass is definitely “ripe and edible.” People come from all over the world just to tell me about it. Juicy, really. Can I get that put somewhere—you know, like across my ass? Advertising, that’s what we need here. (You didn’t think I was gonna leave that alone did you…? Come on now, I got all day to come up with clever shit.)
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
[x] SERIOUS Low Hangers – No, really, I dragged these bitches here.
How many heads do you have? (Your boy bit doesn’t count!)
One. And witches, don’t play. You know my legs are only kickstands for ten inches of misery.
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
Deuces of each – but my cock, though. HUGE. MONSTEROUS. RAWWRRR.
How dead are you? [X] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
Not before noon. Before noon, I’ll fucking cut you with this Poptart. Real shit.
What are you? (Species/Breed)
Malametal telekinetic – Basically, I can turn your car into an ice try with my brain. I know, Magneto jocked my shit.
What is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
Court Date. Keep it simple. Don’t turn my ass into Willy Wonka or Michael Jackson. Don’t give them an excuse to lock my ass back up. They’ll do it. You know they will…
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
New Gotham City Hall
Will you be fighting for your life at some point in the evening?
I run my fuckin’ mouth if you haven’t noticed. AND I live here. So, yeah. Probably.
But you gotta touch this, first. (Na-na-na!)
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
Bitch, I am on fire.
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a tailor’s tedium.)
No. As a matter of fact, I don’t even like where your melon’s at. Get your mind right, baby girl. I’m a Grimm. According to tradition, it’s my job to make sure fools don’t disturb New Gotham’s truly dead. Otherwise, I’m building coffins, or drinking myself into a fucking grave.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked that outfit out? (Basically, who let you leave the crypt in those?)
Listen here, you’re lucky I’m not naked. Women have been known to lather themselves in chocolate and throw themselves at my feet at the very sight of all this fucking sexy. But I knew I was coming here, so I threw on this white tank top, and sagged my jeans just right for you. That’s right, bitches, I care. Really.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
Shit, I’m flexible. We can start the night that way, too. Bring that ass over here…
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
My girl. Is psychotic.
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic swords? Guns and condoms? Eyeliner, maybe?
Don’t need guns, babygirl. Just bullets.
What are your three favorite colors?
Don’t care.
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
Don’t care. Just don’t let no one think I got my ass kicked by an Easter basket.
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds, but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of us. Our philosophers.
[ ] Beast King: This is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[ ] Smooth Criminal: This is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[X] Other: Spongebob: Yeah, bitches, I’m keepin’ it real over here. Don’t tie my shoelaces, live in a Pineapple under the sea—and this fool was born ready. Sandy Cheeks, holla back.
Who is your favorite comic/storybook villain?
Soraya, my ex-girl. Real shit, everything that comes out of her mouth pisses me off.
If you could be any comic/storybook book hero, who would it be?
Batman.
Just the cape alone…
You know what? I need a cape like that. Someone get me a goddamn cape.
Now, tell us who you love the most.
Soraya, my ex-girl. Trust I know I’m pathetic—leave the topic alone. Seriously.
Anything else you’d like to add…
I know, right. Legends shouldn’t be this dope. I can take it any way you dish it out. I can ride that ass six feet under, or make that pussy shake from my knees. Ya’ll don’t know what the fuck to do with me, do you?
Ha, neither does she…
After many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister Stitches’ Leather Queen
Brenda Dweyer presents Nick’s
Completed Threads
“Bad to the Bone”
Next to a gleaming, gold antique resister, Brenda the She-Wolf is posted on the counter in a snake-skin cat-suit and a pair of vicious fuck-me red pumps. Eyes shielded behind a pair of Black Pearl Aviator shades, and waves of curls pulled up and tight on top of her head in a slick and shiny ponytail. Shiny, wet and skin-tight. To look at her hurts. To touch her hurts even more. When the gentleman standing in the middle of her mother’s gothic boutique brushes his eyes up and down Wonder Woman’s body, she answers with a sharp crescent of teeth bowing in sultry smile:
Fool, WHAT are you doing here? You know better. All these other fools don’t know their ass from their elbow, but you KNOW you stepped to the wrong stoop. What? What do you mean Twisted Threads is closed? Blood on a fucking moon, does that asshole ever actually work? My god, I can’t deal—you know what, I really, really don’t have time for this. You’re like the fourth jackass to come in here demanding a suit from DRESSmakers. But fine, whatever—it ain’t my store. It’s momma’s store. And you know, she is not about turning away good money. So, pay attention, problem child.
All right, we’ve kept things simple as per your request. The British classic jacket is tailored, so it will fit just right. We did away with buttons. You’re not the “proper” type and there’s no reason to make my work sloppy by expecting you to button your fucking jacket. In terms of pattern, we choose a Norfolk tweed. Think, Sherlock Holmes. Expect notched lapels. We were going to fashion slacks for you, but Gillian insisted that you’re more Tom Sawyer than that. So, we’ve done a canvas, polyester mix. They are definitely tight fitting. We wanna make sure everyone has a chance to witness the pimple on your thigh themselves. And I know you don’t need guns, idiot. We grew up together. And by the way, you know better than to ponder my ass or the likelihood that it would ever be in your lap. We grew up together. And goddamn it, Nick, what did you do this time? My god, did you ever actually grow up at all? Ah, ah—don’t answer that. I’m done with your suit and I don’t have time for crazy.
Your pockets have been outfitted with Void fabric. You can fill your pockets with hollow points and none will be the wiser. The shirt is double-collared and long sleeved, and we’ve paired the outfit with these simple black boots from Labyrinth Leather. And frankly, you are so lucky Astrid isn’t here, or your hair would be gone. Like gone. She can’t take the shaggy and sexy types. Can’t take the mouthy ones either. So why don’t you take your new clothes, Spongebob, and get to steppin’. Oh, stop. Stop it. No kisses. No kisses. Yo, seriously, Sandy Cheeks is about to lay your ass out—what? What are you trying to give me? What is this?
Before Brenda can do or say anything else, Nick Grimm is gone. Store door banging shut after him. The she-wolf frowns at the wad in her hand: A dollar bill?
Damn you, Nick. Like really. Just…damn you.
IMPORTANT BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches series, and recent releases, please check out her website. If you’re interested in signing up for Sophie Avett’s mailing list to receive a release notification for Iron Will, please use the form here.
Care to check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your life! (Link: http://sophieavett.weebly.com/new-gotham-bonus-content.html)
Image Credit(s): handmademedia
Boner Photo Credit(s): Julia Austen
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina, For the Muse Design
Cry Wolf
A New Gotham Fairy Tale
Sophie Avett
Genre: Dark Fantasy Romance (MM/New Adult)
Publisher: Skeleton Key Publishing
Date of Publication: May 1, 2014
Number of pages: est. 22 pages
Word Count: est. 10, 000
Cover Artist: Elaina, For the Muse Design
Amazon BN ARe Kobo Smashwords
Book Description:
There’s a wild animal on the loose in the black forests surrounding New Gotham…
Not that anyone cares.
Well, Peter doesn’t care.
Peter Ume is more interested in finding a way to alleviate the skull-numbing boredom of a city wide shut down. So far his ideas for excitement hover between stealing an unwary idiot’s underwear (soul works, too), setting someone’s eyebrows on fire, or stabbing the next person he meets in the eye with a hot French fry.
It turns out, he’ll be able to save assault and theft for a rainy day. As luck would have it, this naughty kitsune is about to meet the big bad wolf.
And man, is the wolf in for a surprise…
Warning: This story can be read as a standalone, but you will want to smack Sophie for it. (Or so the ravens have said.) So, do keep in mind that there is a part two. (And it will be a freebie. Sophie’s Pixies will carrier pigeon everyone more information soon.)
About the Author:
Sophie Avett is kind of a nerd. Like not even one of the cute, hip ones everyone brags about nowadays. More like the socially awkward hippie who eats way too much bread and dreams about being a dragon from behind towers of mythology books. Um…yeah. Picture old, tattered paperbacks and comic books–mostly Batman and Wonder Woman–dwarfing a tiny desk, with just barely enough room for the troll who writes there and the 70 pound hell-hound that insists on laying it’s wet nose on top of her bare foot.
Granted not the most exciting existence, but she tries to make up for it by writing romances populated with her own peculiar ilk of paranormal beasties. Trolls, wyverns, the obscure Nordic brownie–she likes to keep things interesting. And bloody. (And mostly naked–but, we’ll keep that bit between us.)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SophieAvett
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7779293.Sophie_Avett
Sinister Stitches Boutique Blog: http://thebrimstonepub.com/
Newsletter Post-Its, the Blog: http://sophieavett.weebly.com/post-its-the-blog.html
Brimstone Pub, the Blog: http://thebrimstonepub.com/
Julia Austen’s Trey (Enticed by the Enemy)
There is a boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister witches.
Welcome to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits, and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some of the questionnaire Julia Austen’s Trey O’Connor from Enticed by the Enemy lifted from Brenda’s hand with a smile after he swaggered into Sinister Stitches.
THE WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your name: Trey O’Connor
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Brown
Hair Length: [ ] Short and Sharp, [X] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Green
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [ ] Snow White, [ ] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate [X] Other: TAN-alicious (Since apparently you’re required to speak as if you had no upbringing. This form is going to take a minute. Who the hell can get me a scotch?)
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6’2”
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [ ] Lean and Tender, [ ] Lean and Tough, [X] Ripe and Edible
(Ripe and Edible? I’m a fucking MAN. One who doesn’t sparkle in the sun. But since I’m not a toothpick, I guess this is my only option.)
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
How many heads do you have? (Your boy bit doesn’t count!)
If I can’t count Ally’s Sizzling Stick of Fury, then just one.
(And I would like to keep it, so let’s make sure she doesn’t see this particular question.)
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
2 of each
How dead are you? [X] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
What are you? (Species/Breed)
I’m human (Although from the waist down I’m hung like Hulk)
What is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
There will be a wedding if I have any say. She’s going to need something white. Without spikes or fishnet. Can you do that?
…what do you mean this isn’t David’s Bridal?
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
We’re still ironing those details out. And by ‘ironing them out’ I mean she’s stubborn and I’m having ahard time ‘wooing’ her (Do people even use that word anymore?) Can’t you make a potion for that or something? Y’know, since you’re a witch.
Will you be fighting for your life at some point in the evening?
My father is nuts— you never know what he has up his sleeve. So it’s probably a good idea to be prepared.
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
Whenever Ally and I are in the same room, sparks FLY. That’s all I’m going to say.
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a tailor’s tedium.)
Not robbing, no. Might be grave digging though if Ally doesn’t come around soon. God, that woman is killing me.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked that outfit out? (Basically, who let you leave the crypt in those?)
I came here right after leaving work so I’m still in Armani. Black suit (custom tailored, of course), white shirt, green tie. And for the second part of the question- I chose my clothes. Except for this tie. Ally picked it out.…stop laughing.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
God, a man could hope. Ally and I have a date tonight. So maybe….
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
There was a fire a few weeks ago… It was a close call. I can’t say anymore though… Things are still under investigation. But like I said, Pops is crazy…
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic swords? Guns and condoms? Eyeliner, maybe?
Eyeliner?? I thought this questionnaire was for a man. Oh… Right… Emo’s and shit hang out here a lot, huh? No. No secret compartment.
What are your three favorite colors?
Black, crisp and formal. Red, sexy and seductive. And blue, the color of Ally’s eyes.
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
I don’t even know what that means.
[Nobody knows what it means but it’s provocative. Gets the people going]
Sorry, big Will Ferrell fan.
But for real. I don’t know what that means.
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds, but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of us. Our philosophers.
[X] Beast King: This is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[X] Smooth Criminal: This is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[X] Black Knight: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[X] Other: What? You think women are the only ones who can be ‘complicated’?
Who is your favorite comic/storybook villain?
Maleficent. Dragons are the shit.
What? I’ve got a kid sister who loved Sleeping Beauty.
If you could be any comic/storybook book hero, who would it be?
What are you talking about? Storybook heroes want to be me.
Now, tell us who you love the most.
Allison Davison- She’s the sun that shines and the air I breathe.
Anything else you’d like to add…
But for real though, you can’t do the dress without the spikes? I’m sure I could convince her to come around to the fishnets… Hell, now that I’m thinking of it, fishnet is a must. But let’s talk about the spikes. I really think those could be a danger to someone’s safety (i.e. mine if I’m the one removing the dress)….
After many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister Stitches’ Leather Queen
Brenda Dweyer presents Trey O’Connor’s
Completed Threads
“Temptation”
Next to a gleaming, gold antique resister, Brenda the She-Wolf is posted on the counter in a snake-skin cat-suit and a pair of vicious fuck-me red pumps. Eyes shielded behind a pair of Black Pearl Aviator shades, and waves of curls pulled up and tight on top of her head in a slick and shiny ponytail. Shiny, wet and skin-tight. To look at her hurts. To touch her hurts even more. When the gentleman standing in the middle of her mother’s gothic boutique brushes his eyes up and down, she answers with a sharp crescent of teeth bowing in sultry smile:
What the fuck does this look like? Ah, ah—before you answer that, I’m going to go ahead and enlighten your shit. I’m Brenda Dweyer, the reigning Leather Queen. Bow down and pay homage, pupil—and no, we don’t sell potions, jackass. That’s why it says “gothic boutique” on the goddamn door.
This is Sinister Stitches. It isn’t David’s Bridal, so if your girl wants a dress—tell her to march her candy ass in here, and we’ll talk about spikes and fishnets. And by the way, Rumpel’s Twisted Threads—you know, where they specialize in making clothes for the Hulk—is that way. If you’re interested Momma leaves business cards for the lost and the heavenly hung right there on the mantle.
Ah, ah—be quiet. I’d rather be naked right now, and the only reason I’m not is because I’m here to present your threads. Gillian is busy and really can’t be trusted around the likes of sexy and charming, and Astrid won’t put up with it. Bury that fine ass in a casket. Real quick.
What do you mean my mom? Why isn’t she presenting your threads? *she sags forward and rubs her temple* We only let that hag out to rape and pillage with her fucking glitter and cookies when there’s absolutely no other way. So, you’re stuck with me. Let’s get to the business, kid. And stop talking—you talk a lot.
Oh my god, he’s still talking.
This isn’t happening to me. I used to be scary. What the hell is going on here?
Oh my fucking stars—is it STILL talking?
Someone get me a shot of scotch, because I don’t have the patience for this bullshit… *Brenda vaults off the counter, grabs Trey’s handsome chin, and forces his confused and gaping expression to the mirror.* Shut up and pay attention. I had nothing to do with this suit beyond the cut. You’re built a lot like my husband, so I did for you what Rumpel does for him—I cut you a British classic. Well, sorta. First of all, let’s talk about the colors and fabric. We went a completely different direction than I thought we’d go. You can thank your charming personality for that. The white hamadryad paper textile is soft and light, and does not require any ironing or pressing. You seem like you’re on the go a lot (or on crack), so we experimented with textiles blended from linen and Avalon moth wings. It will retain its sharp shape and slight wrinkle effortlessly. We agreed on white, because you’re the type that needs to stand out, and we want you to draw all eyes in the room. Every stiff at the party wears black—it takes a real prince to pull off white. And we’ve added just the right note of “bad-ass” in there with a splash of black.
The classic two-button style jacket will fall over your shoulders nicely, and it’s just form fitting enough down the torso to give you a little bit of a thinning affect. And by the way, fucker, this is a WOMAN’S store. Yes, everything that comes in here with curves is considered “ripe and edible.” We slapped that interview together in a mad dash, after your father showed up. Apparently, he’s the idiot leading the way—I don’t know what the hell is going on, but men need to search the stars and find a fucking clue because you’re all going the wrong fucking direction. Twisted Threads is THAT way.
Ah, ah—shut up. What did I say about talking? We’re not done here. As I was saying about your jacket, the strong tapered curve will make you look taller, and thinner. Very flattering. And yes, I’ve heard that you’re hung. Your legs are only for show, kickstands for the magic, and all that nonsense—well, boy bits and pants don’t matter as much when it comes to suits. If you’re wearing a suit properly, they really shouldn’t matter. However, we did go ahead and fashion a wider pant leg for you. Give Alley’s Sizzling Stick of Fury some room to swing free.
Oh yeah, and, now that you’ve noticed—we did cut your hair. Wasn’t me. I like my boys a little wild and Gillian is out ripping wings off a naughty pixies for sewing material.
It was the vampire. The bat did it.
Astrid couldn’t take it. She just couldn’t let it go.
While I’ve been talking to you, the vampire was busy giving you a trim. What? You looked shocked….Huh? Of course, you weren’t gonna see her, idiot. She’s a vampire. You’re a human. Basic math—get some. *grins and plucks random lock of hair off his shoulder* There, you’re all clean and cut for your date tonight. Now, here’s your gift box from Gillian. And no, I don’t know what’s in it. Could be chocolate, or it could be a pipe bomb. She’s fun like that. Oh, wait, take these business cards, too, and send your girl here after you’ve conquered that Maleficent and her Bed and Breakfast.
Otherwise…*she pats his ass out the door* get to steppin’, juvenile.
A Gift Box From Gillian the Candy Witch
The box is black and twined with sweet, looping gold string—inside there is a swatch of glittering pink Post-It paper:
Greetings, Ally:
I’m Gillian the Candy Witch, of Sinister Stitches, and I make dresses for lovely girls like you. Now, your darling Trey stopped by the store today and while Brenda was busy cutting a suit for him, I was busy making you a dress. It’ll match his outfit, so don’t worry. My sister is very good at making sure boys keep things elegant and simple. Now, your snow-white stain bodice has a special zipper on the side of the garment, one tug and it will “zip” and “unzip” by itself. It and the rest of the garment have been ironed with full-metal frost pixie dust. The skirt was spun from Neverland clouds, and tulle. And I made a special trip to the gardens, and plucked fresh pixie wings for the rainbow bow. You’ll be a butterfly princess swathed in white frosting skits.
Oh, and before I forget…pixie dust is inflammable. Not sayin’ I know anything, but a witch likes to make sure her girls can take the heat. ~Gillybean, the Candy Witch
IMPORTANT BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Julia Austen and Trey ‘O Connor’s adventures in Enticed by the Enemy: please check out her author website. If you’re interested in signing up for Julia Austen’s mailing list to receive a release notification when Enticed by the Enemy is available for purchase, please use the form here.
Care to check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your life!
For more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches series, and recent releases, please check out her website.
Image Credit(s): Anatoly Repin / noname13
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina, For the Muse Design
Cry Wolf
A New Gotham Fairy Tale
Sophie Avett
Genre: Dark Fantasy Romance (MM/New Adult)
Publisher: Skeleton Key Publishing
Date of Publication: May 1, 2014
Number of pages: est. 22 pages
Word Count: est. 10, 000
Cover Artist: Elaina, For the Muse Design
Amazon BN ARe Kobo Smashwords
Book Description:
There’s a wild animal on the loose in the black forests surrounding New Gotham…
Not that anyone cares.
Well, Peter doesn’t care.
Peter Ume is more interested in finding a way to alleviate the skull-numbing boredom of a city wide shut down. So far his ideas for excitement hover between stealing an unwary idiot’s underwear (soul works, too), setting someone’s eyebrows on fire, or stabbing the next person he meets in the eye with a hot French fry.
It turns out, he’ll be able to save assault and theft for a rainy day. As luck would have it, this naughty kitsune is about to meet the big bad wolf.
And man, is the wolf in for a surprise…
Warning: This story can be read as a standalone, but you will want to smack Sophie for it. (Or so the ravens have said.) So, do keep in mind that there is a part two. (And it will be a freebie. Sophie’s Pixies will carrier pigeon everyone more information soon.)
About the Author:
Sophie Avett is kind of a nerd. Like not even one of the cute, hip ones everyone brags about nowadays. More like the socially awkward hippie who eats way too much bread and dreams about being a dragon from behind towers of mythology books. Um…yeah. Picture old, tattered paperbacks and comic books–mostly Batman and Wonder Woman–dwarfing a tiny desk, with just barely enough room for the troll who writes there and the 70 pound hell-hound that insists on laying it’s wet nose on top of her bare foot.
Granted not the most exciting existence, but she tries to make up for it by writing romances populated with her own peculiar ilk of paranormal beasties. Trolls, wyverns, the obscure Nordic brownie–she likes to keep things interesting. And bloody. (And mostly naked–but, we’ll keep that bit between us.)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SophieAvett
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7779293.Sophie_Avett
Sinister Stitches Boutique Blog: http://thebrimstonepub.com/
Newsletter Post-Its, the Blog: http://sophieavett.weebly.com/post-its-the-blog.html
Brimstone Pub, the Blog: http://thebrimstonepub.com/
Sophie Avett’s Arn (Undertaker)
There is a boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister witches.
Welcome to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits, and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some of the questionnaire Sophie Avett’s Arn from Undertaker (New Gotham Fairy Tale) lifted from Astrid’s hand with a very shy smile after he swaggered into Sinister Stitches. [READER WARNING: EXPLICIT LAUNGUAGE, ADULT THEMES, VERY FUNNNY. BEWARE.]
THE WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your name: Arn Grimm
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Blond
Hair Length: [x] Short and Sharp, [x] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Kinda both short and shaggy. Not really sexy. Don’t bring the sexy here—I’m not wearing pants, and I’m not to be trusted. (I’m kidding—I’m wearing pants.)
Eye Color: Blackish Blue – I know, it’s weird.
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [X] Snow
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6’1 ft
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [X] Lean and Tender, [ ] Lean and Tough, [ ] Ripe and Edible
By the way, I’m not a piece of meat. I’m a man. And I have feelings.
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
[x] HUGE cock – family curse. Weep for me, bitches…
How many heads do you have? (Your boy bit doesn’t count!)
One. (Most nights…)
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
(Arm + Leg) 2 = Yeah bitches, Algebra lives here.
How dead are you? [X] Living, [X] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
What are you? (Species/Breed)
Necromancer/Headless Horseman (Yeah…I’m that poor bastard.)
What is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
Nick’s Court Date. Someone has to babysit that titty baby.
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
New Gotham City Hall
Will you be fighting for your life at some point in the evening?
I’m Club Brimstone’s ONLY necromancer—real shit, that IS my evening.
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
Hellfire? Fuck me….yeah. Probably.
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a tailor’s tedium.)
Fuck that, I’m a Grimm. We don’t do that. Actually, we don’t really let anyone do that. It’s kind of part of the family job description.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked that outfit out? (Basically, who let you leave the crypt in those?)
A Party City wizard hat – Stars glow in the dark and everything—I’m too hood right now.
Black reaper robe, and a pair of red Converse. The shoes belong to Nick, actually, that basic bitch threw mine over a telephone wire. He’s fun like that.
Oh, and I’m wearing boxers. Not sure if that matters. They’re Toy Story. That probably doesn’t matter. But I don’t only have Toy Story ones. I have Aladdin ones, too…
Don’t judge. Everyone has skeletons in their closet. But this Disney shit is original. Be grateful, I brought you bitches magic.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
Ha. No. Disney doesn’t do it for most girls. Nick swears I’m gonna go to the grave a “fucking cherry.” Probably. Ah, well…I don’t give a shit.
I don’t know, I’m kinda shy.
BUT…
For anyone who might get it twisted—put your clothes back on, girl. I don’t know you like that. And even if I did, I ain’t fucking at the club, silly trick. Better yet, here, have my sweater. Now, go on…take your fine ass back to school.
Shame, bitches. Shame.
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
Buried alive. Oh, the irony….
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic swords? Guns and condoms? Eyeliner, maybe?
Yes. I need compartments. It takes a lot of tools, scrolls, and shit to bring back the dead AND I want a place for my Gameboy. And my water guns. If I can’t bring my Gameboy or my guns, I’m not going. Real shit.
What are your three favorite colors?
Black, black, and…purple. Nah, I don’t know why. I mean, not really. I think ‘cause she wears lots of purple.
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
I can’t wear pink anymore. House rules.
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds, but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of us. Our philosophers.
[ ] Beast King: This is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[ ] Smooth Criminal: This is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[X] Other: Ghetto Gargamel – Fuck ya’ll, I ain’t gotta lie to kick it. I surely do carry my ass to school every single day. Billy Shakespeare, Ovid, and Sparknotes are my shit. I don’t fight, I ain’t about that life—the only thing I hit is the bong and the trigger. (Water gun, people. Water gun.) That being said—don’t push me, ‘cause I’ll for sure stomp that ass into a shallow grave. And no, I am NOT Nick. I don’t have bitches lathering themselves in chocolate and hotdog condiments at the very sight of me. I’m Arn the Undertaker. Deal.
Who is your favorite comic/storybook villain?
Kneel before Emperor Zod.
If you could be any comic/storybook book hero, who would it be?
To be, or not to be? Doth that answer your question, trick.
Now, tell us who you love the most.
Her.
Anything else you’d like to add…
Don’t tell her that. I’m serious. Just ‘cause I can bring you bitches back to life doesn’t mean I will…
Oh, and I scream like a girl. Just puttin’ that out there. Enjoy the magic. It’s free.
After many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister Stitches’ Medieval Mistress
Astrid Dweyer presents Arn’s
Completed Threads
“Black Magic”
There is a vampire stalking you from the shadows of Sinister Stitches’ tearoom. Her eyes are slanted, jaded amethyst glowing in the darkness. You can’t see her face, but every cutting sweep of her long lashes is felt against your cheek. Seated with miles of oil-black coils wound at her feet, she is clad in a black satin pencil-skirt dress. Black stiletto catching the light and gleaming like a silver stake. She uses the tip of her twisted bone wand to pull purple tea-shades down her slender nose:
Arn? What are you doing here? You know we don’t make suits. We’re dressmak—oh, Twisted Threads is closed. *heavy sigh* Does that idiot ever actually work? My god, you’d think torturing the unfortunate was his business, and tailoring was a side gig. Anyways, I’m happy to see you’re alive and kicking. I know I probably put more dead bodies on your list of things to do than anyone else working at Club Brimstone once upon a time. Now, let’s get you something appropriate for Nick’s court date. (I can’t believe he’s in trouble again. Like WOW, how are you two related?)
For you, sugar, I recommended the “Italian” thin man cut. Think “Armani.” It’s a highly tailored, very clean and polished suit. Wide shoulders, small waist—it creates severe, elegant lines. We did pad the shoulders quite a bit to give you some balance. For fabrics, we spun a black butterfly Cashmere blend. We also took the liberty of outfitting the silk inner lining of the jacket with various, and fairly large, compartments. Gillian even fastened your holsters for your water guns. Keep in mind that these pockets were crafted using Void fabric. Anything you put in there will bend and fold in that pocket of reality. However, anything that spills in there can and will damage the seams. The last thing you want is a gremlin crawling out of your pocket through a splice in the dimension. Otherwise, expect notched, thick lapels. Also, in most Italian jackets there is no vent—however, we did cut you one to allow for greater freedom of movement. Your matching black trousers are also tailored and form fitting. And Gillian fashioned you this crushable pork pie hat. It’s no wizard hat, but it will give you that splash of originality. One that absolutely suits you.
Brenda threw in your Nevernight tea-shades, and Gillian purchased your snake-eye cufflinks from Bits and Pieces. We recommend pairing this outfit with a pair of patent slip-ons. Nothing too fancy. Frankly, sweetie, you don’t need anything else.
You’re in a class all your own.
IMPORTANT BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches series, and recent releases, please check out her website. If you’re interested in signing up for Sophie Avett’s mailing list to receive a notification when Undertaker is released, please use the form here.
Care to check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your life!
Image Credit(s): catalin205
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina, For the Muse Design
Elaina Lee’s Alek (Written in Blood)
There is a boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister witches.
Welcome to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits, and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some of the questionnaire Elaina Lee’s Alek Trevian from Written in Blood (Crisdean Sisters) was
THE WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your name: Alek Trevian
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Black
Hair Length: [ ] Short and Sharp, [X] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Sandy Gray
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [ ] Snow White, [X] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [ ] Other:__________
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6 ft
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [ ] Lean and Tender, [X] Lean and Tough, [ ] Ripe and Edible
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo (My wife would say horns, but since she’s the only one who can see them…)
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
How many heads do you have? (Your boy bit doesn’t count!)
Thankfully, just the one
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
2 arms, 2 legs
How dead are you? [X] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
What are you? (Species/Breed)
Last I checked, Human.
What is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
Professional
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
Investigating, and hopefully looking damn good while doing so.
Will you be fighting for your life at some point in the evening?
It’s possible
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
That would be a bad night
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a tailor’s tedium.)
No, and no again.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked that outfit out? (Basically, who let you leave the crypt in those?)
Charcoal gray suit, red tie, white dress shirt.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
Does it matter? We don’t usually wait until we’re naked…
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
The brushes with death are left for Lyndi (or her sisters for that matter). I’m just the lucky one who gets to save the day.
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic swords? Guns and condoms? Eyeliner, maybe?
No, regular sizes compartments will do just fine.
What are your three favorite colors?
Black, red, and dark gray.
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
If you’re asking what I dislike, anything pastel (I carry a gun and if you witches make me a lemon yellow suit I will not hesitate to use it. Keep this in mind)
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds, but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of us. Our philosophers.
[X] Beast King: This is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[ ] Smooth Criminal: This is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[ ] Other: _____________________
Who is your favorite comic/storybook villain?
This implies I have time to read.
If you could be any comic/storybook book hero, who would it be?
I don’t think Lyndi could take any more personalities in her life; we’ll stick with my personality, thank you.
Now, tell us who you love the most.
My wife, Lyndi of course
Anything else you’d like to add…
Are we done? Can you make my suit already?
After many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister Stitches’ Leather Queen
Brenda Dweyer presents Alek’s
Completed Threads
“Bulletproof”
Next to a gleaming, gold antique resister, Brenda the She-Wolf is posted on the counter in a snake-skin cat-suit and a pair of vicious fuck-me red pumps. Eyes shielded behind a pair of Black Pearl Aviator shades, and waves of curls pulled up and tight on top of her head in a slick and shiny ponytail. Shiny, wet and skin-tight. To look at her hurts. To touch her hurts even more. When the gentleman standing in the middle of her mother’s gothic boutique brushes his eyes up and down Wonder Woman’s body, she answers with a sharp crescent of teeth bowing in sultry smile:
You need to go ahead and take a minute to thank your lucky stars that I’m a married woman, ‘cause otherwise I’d climb onto that ass like a tree. Yeah, let’s go ahead and put that out there, so you’re aware just who the hell you’re dealing with. And just to make the picture a little clearer—hi, I’m Brenda Dweyer. I’m the reigning Leather Queen. This is my mother’s store, and I would so rather be naked. Frankly, I don’t know what the hell you’re doing here. You’re like the tenth fool today. Ya’ll need to go ahead and get your peckers together and find a clue. Twisted Threads is THAT way.
Ah, ah—I don’t want to hear it. I don’t have the time, child. Let’s start with your color requests; I ignored them for the most part because you look like a guy who could use a little bit of a change. You seem like you’re set in your ways, and that’s cool—just don’t bring that nonsense here. I can’t take it. So, let’s take a look at what we did work up for you. We cut a navy blue pinstriped Contemporary classic jacket for you. It will suit your wider frame and be very comfortable to wear. Very. And we’ve done away with the shoulder pads. You don’t need them. For fabric, we spun a cotton and silk blend. You’ll still have the luxury feel, but with the breathability and durability afforded by a sturdy fabric.
There are four pairs of buttons pleated into the jacket’s side. They are nonfunctioning buttons, merely for decorative purpose, a practice that originated in the military when buttons, or pips, worn at the front of the uniform sleeve indicated rank.
That being said, Gillian, my sister, did take the time to iron a thin layer of ghost film into the jacket. It’s bulletproof, inflammable. Likewise, your Neverland blue double, collared shirt was ironed with Oblivion film. It’s made from flaying a ghost’s skin—along with having all of those prior “armor” elements. It’s quite stain resistant. Will hold up to blood and lipstick marks—no problem. As per your mention of a gun, the interior of your jacket has been outfitted with several Void pockets. Any weapons pocketed or holstered in the utility straps will bend and fold with the fabric. That’s right, don’t ruin my lines with your crap, fool.
Now, here, take your old clothes, and get the hell out of my store. I’m a Kit-Kat away from raping you.
IMPORTANT BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Elaina Lee and Alek’s adventures in Written in Blood please check out her author website.
Care to check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your life!
For more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches series, and recent releases, please check out her website.
Image Credit(s): captblack76
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina, For the Muse Design
Jennifer Blackstream’s Etienne (Before Midnight)
There is a boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister witches.
Welcome to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits, and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some of the questionnaire Jennifer Blackstream’s Etienne from Before Midnight (Blood Prince Series) lifted from Brenda’s hand with a smile after he swaggered into Sinister Stitches.
THE WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your name: Etienne
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Brown
Hair Length: [ ] Short and Sharp, [x] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Grey
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [ ] Snow White, [x] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [ ] Other:__________
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 5’10”
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [ ] Lean and Tender, [ ] Lean and Tough, [x] Ripe and Edible
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
How many heads do you have?
One
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
Two of each, thank Fenris.
How dead are you? [x] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
What are you? (Species/Breed)
Lycanthrope
What is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
A ball. I want to recreate the ball my family held the night I met my wife. Her evening was ruined the first time. I want to see that she gets the experience she should have had.
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
Royal ballroom
Will you be fighting for your life at some point in the evening?
Not if I give in and let her bring the wolves inside. She can call them puppies if she wants to, but they’re the size of small ponies and we are past the point where we can successfully hide them under the tables.
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
No. My in-laws are dead, so I anticipate a peaceful evening.
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a dressmaker’s tedium.)
Is that a joke? Because I’m a werewolf, you think I’ll be out digging up old bones?
What are you wearing right now? Who picked that outfit out? (Basically, who let you leave the crypt in those?)
Nothing, and I apologize for that. For some reason the horses wouldn’t come near this place. The pixie swore nudity wouldn’t be an issue, and carrying clothing in my teeth when I shift to wolf form is an inconvenience I don’t bother with if I don’t have to.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
Yes. If one of my wife’s “puppies” gets loose, I’ll be rounding them up. Regardless, my wife and I will likely shift for a run before we retire tonight.
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
In-laws from Midguard. Is a second sentence necessary?
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic swords and guns, condoms…eyeliner, maybe?
No. My weapons don’t require pockets.
What are your three favorite colors?
Green, blue, silver (no comments from the peanut gallery)
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
Orange, pink
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds, but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of us. Our philosophers.
[x] Beast King: This is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[ ] Smooth Criminal: This is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[ ] Other: _____________________
Who is your favorite fairy tale villain?
I don’t like villains.
If you could be any comic book hero, who would it be?
Wolverine
Now, tell us who you love the most.
My wife, Loupe
Anything else you’d like to add…
After many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister Stitches’ Leather Queen
Brenda Dweyer presents Etienne’s
Completed Threads
“Black Night”
Next to a gleaming, gold antique resister, Brenda the She-Wolf is posted on the counter in a snake-skin cat-suit and a pair of vicious fuck-me red pumps. Eyes shielded behind a pair of Black Pearl Aviator shades, and waves of curls pulled up and tight on top of her head in a slick and shiny ponytail. Shiny, wet and skin-tight. To look at her hurts. To touch her hurts even more. When the gentleman standing in the middle of her mother’s gothic boutique brushes his eyes up and down Wonder Woman’s body, she answers with a sharp crescent of teeth bowing in sultry smile:
Wow, you have got to be shitting me. Why on earth are you here, babycakes? This is Sinister Stitches. I mean, I know we fashioned a dress for your wife—but, seriously, she’s girl. She came to the right place. Your ass is straight up lost. I ain’t got a problem making you something this time, but next time, you best carry that fine tail to Twisted Threads, where all they do is outfit the fools. Actually, you should know right now that the only reason I’m not naked with my ass in the wind is because I’m here. Mostly, for Loupe. When she dropped by, she did mention to Gillian what a terrible time she had at that ball, so I agree—you better get shit right this time. Or else.
Now, let’s start with the top—you’re a hard ass. I can see that. The best thing for hard asses is simplicity. I’ve spun you a double collared, long-sleeve out of Neverland moths and spider web. Gillian, my sister, took the time to embroider the fabric with arboreal hamadryad designs. No one gives a shit about the pants until they come off, but we did do something different, and go denim for you. Yes, dear, I know you have no idea—
A fat orange tabby cat with a white-striped tail and razor sharp, draconic green eyes fades into existence above the mantle place:
My god, look what the cat dragged in. Still ugly as ever, aren’t you…Brenda?The cat fades into nothing, and Brenda’s butcher axe eats a wicked wedge into the wood : Anyways, like I was saying, we decided to go Oblivion denim for your trousers. You play kind of hard, and rough, so we wanted to make sure the outfit would stand up to being used more than once. Oblivion denim is pressed with incubus tears, the illusion effect will make the trousers look like regular cotton, and cashmere blends while indoors. Otherwise, it will revert to “denim” phase.
Now, we did want to give you the option to shift whenever you want, so I took the tip to capture a few white, and black will ‘o wisps, grinding them into dust and ironing their remains into the fabric. Call your outfit by its name “Black Night” and it should hurry on along to wherever you’re currently located. Given you won’t be shifting at the occasion; we’ve also thrown the patent leather dress shoes from Sinful Soles.
Now, put on your new dancing shoes, and show the—what are you doing? Why are you getting naked? Listen, asshole, if I can’t be naked, you can’t be–Goddamn it, he’s gone. We didn’t even get to take a second picture.
With a heavy sigh, Brenda stalks to the front door and holds it open just long enough to hear a wolf howl in the distance. The clothes left crumbled on the floor glide from Sinister Stitches by an unseen hand, and Brenda slams the door shut after him: Men.
IMPORTANT BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Jennifer Blackstream and Etienne’s adventures in the Blood Prince series, please check out her author website.
Care to check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’sSurvival Guide! It might save your life!
For more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches series, and recent releases, please check out her website.
Image Credit(s): Curaphotography
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina, For the Muse Design
