Abhishek Leela Pandey's Blog

2.1. The Man with Five Heads

I am God. What is it? The one who separated light from darkness; the one who planted stars and granted them their solar systems; the one who created water, air, land; created life and death; the cycles of regeneration; the developer of astronomy and metaphysics; or just the one who is present in each of you or makes you believe so; or the one who is the last resort for all the problems when you fail; or just a figment of imagination. Whatever you perceive or understand, I would again claim, I am God. I have proofs. I have established my research and observations. I have recorded the supporting data of my existence.
What is my name? I still do not know it. But, they know me by many names. They think of me in many forms. I can be renamed depending on the escape from reason and logic, sometimes faith. They say I was born in a strange way. It was not that I was born upside down or, with umbilical cord tied around my neck as if strangled by nature. Neither was I born with broad jaws, small eyes, snouted lips, like a few among us, human beings. I belonged to, an addition; WE belonged to the new age humans, with sharper features, a pointed nose, more receptive eyes, flatter lips and, longer and leaner limbs. There were majority of us but then there were them too, the deformed humans, or the preformed humans, the ones who had the courage and an inclination to stand against us. Or to assist those who stood against us. The sub-species of humans, as they were apparently, would have been extinct soon, but not as soon as they did, for one simple reason that they arrayed against us. They conspired with my enemies. Well, I would reveal that later. Coming to my birth…
I would like to believe that they forgot the way I was born or the time I was born. In fact they didn’t even know if I was born. But I was born. I know I was born, not through magic or some divine intervention or some inexplicable physical and chemical phenomenon. I was born in flesh and in blood and in bones and in all the things you are born in. I was born without clothes, the same way as you were. I was very much like you. But still, there was some difference.
Some say, I was a swayambhu, or born by oneself, as they had no idea about my origin. This ridiculous concept came to the fore when I grew up, as a man, a man of choice, a man of taste, a man of ambitions. Ambitions to create the world, to analyze the physical forces, to make people read, write or at least speak. An ambition to be the creator; an ambition to provide an empirical ground, a theory, a framework to let humans understand one simple fact;
“They are humans...”
There have been many myths about me. And as life starts at birth, so does myth. Myth and reality go hand in hand. There was another theory that I was born of a seed of a golden egg. Hence they called me hiranyagarbha, or the child of golden womb. The most possible explanation of my birth is unfortunately, nothing.
They actually found me caged inside a lotus. Like a prisoner or a baby in distress. It is a coincidence that I like lotus flowers a lot. The lotus, from which I was supposedly born, would have been sufficiently large or I would have been sufficiently small. Otherwise the lotus would have been a divine being, the way I was, supposedly. The water or the mud where the lotus grew must be magical. Believe me it is easy to understand it this way. Magical is the keyword to understand what you do not. It is the way of life to unravel the biggest mysteries. Magic has a wider scope than science, logic or reason. I had this ambition; an ambition to create magic and then, to define the magic. I failed in defining or they failed in understanding, seems a mystery.
And you would be surprised to know that I defined it, not through any logic or reason but through an imaginary concept; through a hypothesis, completely my brainchild, with no scope to judge its authenticity, based on fears and fostered upon the failing reason of human beings, better known as God.
Wait. Do not jump to conclusions. Do not consider me an atheist. I am not an agnostic either. There are no such classifications in my world.
They claimed that I was not a normal child. I had teeth when I was born! No one counted the number, though. They say that my forehead was glowing with a blinding aura. I am not sure if I became the reason for anyone’s blindness. They say I grew five times faster. At an age of one, I showed the motor development of a five year old. At two, I behaved like ten and so on. They believed I had five brains. I am always scared of the thought that I would die too, five times faster. Do not be surprised, death scares me too. So, the concept of five times more, gave me another name.
“The Man with Five Heads”
‘Heads’ represent brains here. How did they know that brain lies in the head? Humans might have a great deal of obvious logic.
This is my story and I would ask you to allow me complete liberty to present before you the truth and nothing else. Truth has two forms, disappointing or enlightening. So is my story, true to the core, but I am sure you will either be disappointed or be enlightened. Prepare yourself for the revelation.
Whom should I pray to, before the beginning of my story? Should I pray to myself as I am God? Or should I pray to you?
Well, you are God too. This is what all pantheists will teach in the future.
Believe me, everything is me, even you. Everything starts at me and ends at me. I am the divine manifestation to all, including myself. I create universes at my will, protect and preserve it, destroy it, again to create. I am nothing and I am everything. I am the dark and I am the light. I am the animal and I am the plant. I am the living and I am the dead. It is in me that you find your faith. It is through me that you find your goal. I am inexplicable and I am an obvious fact. I am the sense and I am the Para natural. I am the ego and I am the id. I am the flaw and I am the perfection. I am the beauty and I am the ugliness. I am the reason for your happiness and I am the one behind your sufferings. I come in form of food when you are hungry. I come as a shade when you are tired. I am the water that you drink. I am the one who nurtures the passions. I am the one who develops the emotions. I am the one who induces wrath and lust. I am the one who develops greed and pride. I am the one who is responsible for everything and yet I am nothing. If you want to find me, look in yourself. I am the one who speaks and I am the one who listens. I am the one who writes and I am the one who reads. I am the one who lives and I am the one who dies. It is from me that you are born and it will be again me, in whom you will die.
My story will be repeated for times immemorial. Thousands of years later, I will be saying this to you again. I will be with you when you will fall. I will make you rise. I will make sure that this time, I prove myself. I will prove that I am the creator.
Now when you know that my work was creation, you would be eager to know what creation is! The creation is a need for a society and a desire for an individual. It is a phenomenon, not a process. It has no steps or algorithms. It is neither a science nor an art. It is not a physical quantity that can be measured, right down the scales, or morphed in various definitions. But it is the need to have the quantity, the scales, and the various definitions.
The purpose of creation is creation itself. It works on the principle of self-esteem and self-satisfaction. It is a cognitive function of not just humans, or animals, but also inanimate objects. It is equivalent to the formation of clouds and then transformation to rains. It is the force which processes data and transfers it to the next in the process. It is the ability of water to cut through the mountains or the determination of winds to blow away the clouds. It is the tendency of the sunrays to scatter at the horizon and color the sky in crimson hue.
I created everything you see. I gave you the reason to acquire and logic to implement. I made you understand that the world is not just a coop of forests and mountains and rivers. It is more than that. It is the recognition of mental faculties to exploit the resources, lying deep inside the forests and the mountains and the rivers. And I created, precisely, the glasses through which you see or the rules through which you speak or the choice through which you hear. I created the principles and the laws governing the survival. I created the literature and the science. I created the social structures and economic lattice. I discovered medicines and invented machines. I read between the lines and discovered beyond the natural logic. I discovered waves and governed their prevalence.
I governed humans, the meaningless wanderers with a potential to transform, to rule, to desire. I assembled the hunter humans to form a society where common goals were more important than individual sense-gratification. Nevertheless, I acknowledged the differences in opinions. I divided work and created classes.
I created a reward system of professions. I recognized the need of cooperation over competition. I discovered so much and in such proportions that I became the supreme creator.
And, I created creators.
Lastly, I created God.
Who am I?
I am Brahma…
I am none and I am all.

An excerpt from The Man with Five Heads
by Abhishek Leela Pandey