Emily Snow's Blog
July 31, 2018
Teaser Tuesday from THIS LOVE
I've been busy, busy, busy with editing THIS LOVE & LOVE HURTS to get them out soon, so I wanted to share a teaser! I can't wait for y'all to meet Bennett and Veronica. Make sure you add them to your Goodreads TBR!
“You got a tattoo.”
“Several because I’m a sucker for drunken dares. Monica hasn’t seen them yet or she’d cry. And then retaliate by fucking one of my friends.”
He cocks his head toward her closed door and rolls his shoulders into a shrug. “But then, she’d do that anyway. Cain’s the only one of us that’s smart enough to escape.”
Honestly, I’d expected the same from Bennett, after he defied Delaney tradition last year by choosing Duke over Harvard. He surprised everyone by coming home this spring with the news he would be spending the summer in the city—and transferring to his father’s alma mater in the fall.
“Ben—” I start, but he jerks his head to either side.
“Stop it.” He moves close enough that I feel the heat radiating off his bare chest. I wonder if he’ll go back to the party like this. Half-naked. A dimpled grin playing on his features for the benefit of his friends.
“Do you … want me to go grab you a shirt from your room?”
“I don’t want a shirt. I just want to celebrate my new car.” My spine stiffens as he feathers his knuckles over my collarbone. “Have a drink.” I make a sound—a soft murmur that tickles my lips. “And pretend that we’re all fucking normal.”
Finally, my brain latches on to what he’s doing. Tugging my pale blonde hair from where it’s trapped beneath his shirt. He drops it over my right shoulder, the way I always wear it.
“Well,” I rasp, legs shaky as I back toward the elevator, “we better get you back to what’s normal.”
***
This Love
“You got a tattoo.”
“Several because I’m a sucker for drunken dares. Monica hasn’t seen them yet or she’d cry. And then retaliate by fucking one of my friends.”
He cocks his head toward her closed door and rolls his shoulders into a shrug. “But then, she’d do that anyway. Cain’s the only one of us that’s smart enough to escape.”
Honestly, I’d expected the same from Bennett, after he defied Delaney tradition last year by choosing Duke over Harvard. He surprised everyone by coming home this spring with the news he would be spending the summer in the city—and transferring to his father’s alma mater in the fall.
“Ben—” I start, but he jerks his head to either side.
“Stop it.” He moves close enough that I feel the heat radiating off his bare chest. I wonder if he’ll go back to the party like this. Half-naked. A dimpled grin playing on his features for the benefit of his friends.
“Do you … want me to go grab you a shirt from your room?”
“I don’t want a shirt. I just want to celebrate my new car.” My spine stiffens as he feathers his knuckles over my collarbone. “Have a drink.” I make a sound—a soft murmur that tickles my lips. “And pretend that we’re all fucking normal.”
Finally, my brain latches on to what he’s doing. Tugging my pale blonde hair from where it’s trapped beneath his shirt. He drops it over my right shoulder, the way I always wear it.
“Well,” I rasp, legs shaky as I back toward the elevator, “we better get you back to what’s normal.”
***
This Love
February 29, 2016
Completed: Chapter Twenty-Four
Completed: A Devoured NovellaChapter Twenty-Four
I’m a bundle of nerves as I walk into the restaurant my mother picked for our meeting, but I do my best to hide my anxiety as I approach the table. My family is already here and the closer I get to the table, I’m shocked when I realize that they’re smiling. Granted, those smiles seem slightly forced, but it’s still enough to make me pause a few steps from the empty seat I was headed for. When my mom spots me, she lifts her hand and motions me to sit down.“Come on, Sienna. Might as well get this over with.”Hesitantly, I take the empty seat beside Gram, which is opposite Mom’s chair. My grandmother covers my fingers with hers, and when I shoot her a questioning look, she nods reassuringly. “It’s fine, sweetheart,” she says softly.“I didn’t think you’d show up,” Mom says, drawing my attention back to her. She looks good, with her strawberry blond hair in a high ponytail and an oversized sweater that I’m sure belongs to me. She drums her fingernails on the table and then shrugs. “I’m glad you did come, though.”“So … what’s going on?” I ask. I glance around the table and when nobody rushes to comment, I focus my attention on my brother. “Seth?”“Rebecca’s leaving Nashville until May and wanted us all to get together for lunch before she left,” he says.I twist my lips to the side as I turn to my mother. For a moment, I struggle with what to say since the last few times I’ve seen her have been nothing but pure drama, but then I nod slowly. “Thanks for inviting me to your … ‘farewell until May lunch.”Mom smirks. “Like I said, I’m surprised you came since your asshole’s lawyers have let me know just how unwelcome I am in both your lives.”I groan but hold back any argument until after our waitress stops by our table to bring me a glass of water. As soon as she’s gone, though, I release a deep breath. “Please, don’t start. Especially if this is supposed to be the last time we see each other for several months. Plus, you know exactly why you heard from his lawyers.” There’s a part of me that’s relieved that Lucas followed through on letting his lawyers handle my mother’s demands instead of throwing money her way just to keep the stress out of our lives.Mom’s lips twitch into a frown. “I just wanted a loan, Sienna. And obviously he’s in a good financial place where he could’ve made that happen.”I take a sip of my water and swallow hard. “You threatened him, Mom. And you threatened me. You never even said why you needed the money.”She’s silent for a long pause and then she rolls her eyes. “Guess I just wanted to start over.”“You picked a pretty shitty way to ask for help doing it,” Seth mutters from his spot next to her, earning a glare from both Gram and my mother.“It doesn’t matter now because I’ve got a job. And I won’t ever ask that prick you’re dating for another dime.”“Oh?” This is definitely news. I flip open the menu, pretending to be interested in the assortment of handcrafted cheeseburgers as I ask, “Where did you get a job?”“In Indiana, nosy ass. And … I’ve met someone.” And now, the reason for this meeting starts to make a little more sense. When I give my mother a pointed look, she narrows her green eyes at me. “Look, I’m not looking to introduce the two of you.” She looks back and forth between Seth and me. “And I really don’t give a damn what you might think of him, but I did want to let all three of you know where I’m going.”“We want you to be happy,” Gram says, and from the look on her face, I can tell she’s known about Mom’s new job and boyfriend for a while. “And I know Seth and Sienna appreciate you caring enough to let us know where you’ll be.”When Mom leans over to give my grandmother a kiss on the cheek, it’s obvious this meeting isn’t for Seth and me, but for Gram, but I’ll take it. I’ll also cautiously take mom’s promise to not ask Lucas for a loan again. “Is he nice?” I look up from the menu to meet Mom’s smirk. “The guy you met, I mean?” “Meaning is he a drug dealer or on his death bed or any other type of man you probably think I’m drawn to?”I sigh. “Dammit, Mom—”“He’s very nice. Much nicer than Lucas-Fucking-Wolfe.” Before I can stop her, she grabs my keys from the table and smoothes her fingers over the key fob belonging to my new car. “A gift before he decides to ditch you?”“Rebecca,” my grandmother warns as I shake my head.“No. A Valentine’s gift. He wanted me to have a safe vehicle for when the baby arrives.” I hadn’t planned on announcing my pregnancy, but damn if my mother didn’t bring out my defensive side. For a long, drawn out moment, everyone at the table sits in silence, and then Gram leans over to wrap me in a tight hug as my brother offers me a stunned congratulatory grin. I stare my mother down until she finally lifts her shoulders and her drink. “Nice going away present, Sienna. Making me a goddamn grandma.” But she smiles and then, I smile. “Congratulations.”*“We should get married soon,” Lucas says in a low voice a few nights later as I lay curled against him in our bed. His rough fingers stroke the smooth, bare skin of my hip. “What do you think?” When he came home earlier tonight, we briefly talked about the wedding after I told him all about the lunch date I had with my family three days before. He hadn’t seemed surprised that my mother was doing a 120—I couldn’t exactly call her change of heart a 180, not yet at least—and he’d simply said that everything was slowly working out for the best.“Don’t tell me you fell asleep before round two,” he says, his lips tickling my ear, and I shiver. “Didn’t think so. So what do you think about what I just said?”“Trying to make an honest woman out of me?” I look over my shoulder to look into his eyes, noticing the amusement crinkling the corners. I can’t resist grinning myself. “Didn’t realize you were so old fashioned, Mr. Wolfe.”He snorts. “I’m not old fashioned. My reasons for wanting to marry you soon are entirely selfish.”“Selfish?” He kisses my shoulder blade. “I want you to have my last name, Red.” I feel his hand move over my hip until it rests on my outer thigh. “When I give interviews or talk about you, I want to be able to call you my wife because then we’re complete. See, I’m fucking selfish.”“At the risk of sounding like Sinjin—you sound totally pussy-whipped,” I tease and then gasp when his fingers splay between my thighs. “What do you think you’re doing?” I ask in a hoarse voice.His thumb strokes my sex before I feel the lips on my shoulder move into a smile. “Doing? Feels like it’s already done.”“Don’t be cocky,” I groan. “Okay … how soon is soon?”“Next week. Tomorrow. Tonight,” he says and I laugh as he rolls on top of me and pins my wrists to the bed. “What’s so funny, Sienna?”“Your sister will kill us if we get married next week and she can’t play party planner. You know that, right?”“She’ll just have to schedule her own crazy ass wedding.” His hazel eyes stare down at me appreciatively and emotion tugs at my chest. “But what would yourather do?”I look up at him, into the eyes of the man I’m crazy about, and I release a heavy breath. “There’s nothing I want more than to be your wife. The sooner, the better. But not tonight so we can at least give our families a little notice.”“I love you, Sienna Jensen. So goddamn much.”“I love you too, Lucas.” His grin softens as he lowers his mouth to mine, and I arch my body against his. When he starts to pull away, I draw him back against me, not caring that I’m dizzy and breathless and on fire. Because in this moment, I’m completed.
September 7, 2015
Completed: Chapter Twenty-Three
Completed: a Devoured novellaChapter Twenty-Three
Two weeks after Valentine’s Day and my big announcement to Lucas I finally hear from my mother—when she sends a message to me through my little brother. She wants to have lunch with Seth, Gram, and me to discuss our “issues” and she wants to do it ASAP. As much as I want to tell Seth to tell Mom to shove the invitation if she can’t personally reach out to me, I reluctantly agree to go. After all, she is my mother. Even if she does drive me up the wall.“You know, you don’t have to do this shit,” Lucas tells me as I help him pack his carry-on in our bedroom. He’s leaving for Los Angeles in a couple hours—for a Your Toxic Sequel radio interview and a few shows in California—and won’t be back until the end of the week. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I was already missing him like crazy. “Or you can meet her when I get back.”Moving my head from side to side, I drop a handful of socks into the bag. “And then the first thing she’ll comment on is how I can’t get anything done without you. Ugh, I can hear her now.” I drag my hands through my long red hair, fist it into a high ponytail, and then release it to fall around my shoulders.Lucas groans. “Stop with the hair, Red. It makes me want to pull you onto this bed and make you forget the sound of that woman’s voice.” “You’ll miss your flight,” I point out in a sing-song voice.“And I give no fucks.”“You’re insatiable.” I glance over at him to witness him shrugging his broad shoulders. The look in his hazel eyes—which, thanks to his black tee shirt, look more brown than green today—is entirely unapologetic. “And if you’re not in L.A. for that interview this afternoon, the band will surely blame it all on me and then Sin will probably leave some screwed up post on my Facebook wall.”“My sweet evasive Sienna,” Lucas muses, tossing his cell phone charger into the bag. When I raise my eyebrow, he grants me a half-smile. “You’re good at changing the subject from your mom—Sinjin doesn’t do social media. Now … any idea what she wants?”I narrow my blue eyes at him, but he motions his hand, encouraging me to go on about my mother. “The last time she wanted to talk about our issues, she asked for money.” As usual, the idea that my mom might spend years trying to use Seth, Gram, and me for whatever we’d be willing to give her made me sick to my stomach. Of course, maybe that was breakfast. Morning sickness has kicked my ass for the last week. “I’m willing to bet she’s going to ask for the same thing today.”“Then relax, Red.” Lucas starts to zip his bag. “And then tell her hell no.”I release a heavy sigh. “Yeah, and the more I tell her no, the more she asks.” He should know exactly how that feels, after Sam had extorted him for so many years. Of course, my mother didn’t have anything to dangle over my head like Lucas’s wife did, but there was always a part of me that was desperate for Mom’s approval. She’s probably convinced herself that I’ll eventually give in.“Are you going to tell them about the baby?”“Not yet,” I say a little too quickly. So far, the only person besides us who knows I’m pregnant is Kylie and I’m surprised she hasn’t told the entire world. She’s that thrilled. “I mean, I will tell them. After the first doctor’s appointment. Then we can tell everyone else.” My voice shakes slightly, causing his features to drag into a deep frown.Lucas moves around to the side of the bed I’m standing on and places a hand possessively on the small of my back. Drawing me close to him, he hovers his mouth over mine. “If you let that woman get you stressed out—”I place my finger over his lips, shushing him and then run my other hand through his mess of dark hair. “What? You can’t exactly spank me,” I say with a little smile and he nips the tip of my finger.“No?” he questions, and I nod. His hand trails from the base of my spine to my ass, gripping it hard. My throat goes dry because, damn, he knows exactly how to get to me. “Are you so sure?”Running my tongue over my lips, I cock my head. “Well hell, I guess you will.”He throws his back to laugh, and when he looks at me again, his hazel eyes are gleaming with desire. “I promise you, Red, spanking you will be a hell of a lot less stressful than you’re crazy ass mother giving you shit.” He gives my ass a small swat, and I suck in a deep breath. Reaching up, I clutch his tee shirt and his grin widens. “And I also promise you’ll like it. The spanking, that is.”Smartass.Standing up on my toes and tilting my head up, I press my lips to his, sighing when his tongue briefly darts between my lips. When I lower my heels back to the floor, I rub my thumb over his cheek. “Thank you.”“For taking your mind off your mom, always.” He kisses me once more, his lips soft and demanding, and a sharp pain clenches my chest at the thought of him being away for the next few days. “Just take care of yourself—” He trails his hand from my bottom to my stomach, splaying his long fingers over the flatness. “—and this … us.”My heart soars, and it’s hard to speak, but I move my head up and down. “I will,” I promise.
Two weeks after Valentine’s Day and my big announcement to Lucas I finally hear from my mother—when she sends a message to me through my little brother. She wants to have lunch with Seth, Gram, and me to discuss our “issues” and she wants to do it ASAP. As much as I want to tell Seth to tell Mom to shove the invitation if she can’t personally reach out to me, I reluctantly agree to go. After all, she is my mother. Even if she does drive me up the wall.“You know, you don’t have to do this shit,” Lucas tells me as I help him pack his carry-on in our bedroom. He’s leaving for Los Angeles in a couple hours—for a Your Toxic Sequel radio interview and a few shows in California—and won’t be back until the end of the week. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I was already missing him like crazy. “Or you can meet her when I get back.”Moving my head from side to side, I drop a handful of socks into the bag. “And then the first thing she’ll comment on is how I can’t get anything done without you. Ugh, I can hear her now.” I drag my hands through my long red hair, fist it into a high ponytail, and then release it to fall around my shoulders.Lucas groans. “Stop with the hair, Red. It makes me want to pull you onto this bed and make you forget the sound of that woman’s voice.” “You’ll miss your flight,” I point out in a sing-song voice.“And I give no fucks.”“You’re insatiable.” I glance over at him to witness him shrugging his broad shoulders. The look in his hazel eyes—which, thanks to his black tee shirt, look more brown than green today—is entirely unapologetic. “And if you’re not in L.A. for that interview this afternoon, the band will surely blame it all on me and then Sin will probably leave some screwed up post on my Facebook wall.”“My sweet evasive Sienna,” Lucas muses, tossing his cell phone charger into the bag. When I raise my eyebrow, he grants me a half-smile. “You’re good at changing the subject from your mom—Sinjin doesn’t do social media. Now … any idea what she wants?”I narrow my blue eyes at him, but he motions his hand, encouraging me to go on about my mother. “The last time she wanted to talk about our issues, she asked for money.” As usual, the idea that my mom might spend years trying to use Seth, Gram, and me for whatever we’d be willing to give her made me sick to my stomach. Of course, maybe that was breakfast. Morning sickness has kicked my ass for the last week. “I’m willing to bet she’s going to ask for the same thing today.”“Then relax, Red.” Lucas starts to zip his bag. “And then tell her hell no.”I release a heavy sigh. “Yeah, and the more I tell her no, the more she asks.” He should know exactly how that feels, after Sam had extorted him for so many years. Of course, my mother didn’t have anything to dangle over my head like Lucas’s wife did, but there was always a part of me that was desperate for Mom’s approval. She’s probably convinced herself that I’ll eventually give in.“Are you going to tell them about the baby?”“Not yet,” I say a little too quickly. So far, the only person besides us who knows I’m pregnant is Kylie and I’m surprised she hasn’t told the entire world. She’s that thrilled. “I mean, I will tell them. After the first doctor’s appointment. Then we can tell everyone else.” My voice shakes slightly, causing his features to drag into a deep frown.Lucas moves around to the side of the bed I’m standing on and places a hand possessively on the small of my back. Drawing me close to him, he hovers his mouth over mine. “If you let that woman get you stressed out—”I place my finger over his lips, shushing him and then run my other hand through his mess of dark hair. “What? You can’t exactly spank me,” I say with a little smile and he nips the tip of my finger.“No?” he questions, and I nod. His hand trails from the base of my spine to my ass, gripping it hard. My throat goes dry because, damn, he knows exactly how to get to me. “Are you so sure?”Running my tongue over my lips, I cock my head. “Well hell, I guess you will.”He throws his back to laugh, and when he looks at me again, his hazel eyes are gleaming with desire. “I promise you, Red, spanking you will be a hell of a lot less stressful than you’re crazy ass mother giving you shit.” He gives my ass a small swat, and I suck in a deep breath. Reaching up, I clutch his tee shirt and his grin widens. “And I also promise you’ll like it. The spanking, that is.”Smartass.Standing up on my toes and tilting my head up, I press my lips to his, sighing when his tongue briefly darts between my lips. When I lower my heels back to the floor, I rub my thumb over his cheek. “Thank you.”“For taking your mind off your mom, always.” He kisses me once more, his lips soft and demanding, and a sharp pain clenches my chest at the thought of him being away for the next few days. “Just take care of yourself—” He trails his hand from my bottom to my stomach, splaying his long fingers over the flatness. “—and this … us.”My heart soars, and it’s hard to speak, but I move my head up and down. “I will,” I promise.
July 19, 2015
Completed: Chapter Twenty-Two
Completed: a Devoured novellaChapter Twenty-TwoOne Month Later
Note: This was previously featured on Shh Mom's Reading for Valentine's Day a couple years ago. It was essential that I include it in the story after that last chapter. ;)
***
This was the first Valentine’s in what felt like years that I’ve been with somebody, more specifically someone I planned to marry, but because of our different job obligations, I would be spending it alone. Today, in between working and running errands—a doctor’s appointment, lunch with my friend Ashley, and stopping by my gram’s place for an early dinner—I had constantly reminded myself how grateful I am to be doing what I love to do for a living. Still … coming home to an empty house with a handful of tearjerkers from the Walgreen’s Redbox does make me reevaluate the way I’ll schedule wardrobe assignments in the future.Especially since I would be taking a lot of time off of work in several months.I drag in a cleansing breath to flush down the sudden wave of anxiety that hits me. Even though my mom has continued to be scarce, I’ve been overwhelmed a lot here lately, and I’ve found that stopping to take a breath almost instantly makes me feel better.“Everything will be fine,” I tell myself sternly as I shut off the engine to my sedan. I grab the DVDs, a vase of flowers, and my bag and get out of the car. “Everything will be okay.”But the moment I unlock the front door and step inside the home Lucas had purchased last year, I’m met with the sound of rock music blasting through the giant house. The upstairs light is on, casting a muted glow over the foyer, and across from where I’m standing, I can tell that the alarm system has been deactivated. My heart flies into my throat, and I take a step backward onto the brick porch behind me.Someone is here.Despite my already full hands, I’m reaching for my phone, keys and pepper spray when a familiar voice yells out to me. “It’s just me! No calling the cops, okay? No time for that tonight, Red—I’m cutting it too close.”Lucas. I start to let out a sigh of relief, but then, just to be sure, I poke my head through the doorway and call his name loudly.“Relax, and get your beautiful ass back here.” His confirmation puts a complete halt to the fear spiraling through me, replacing it with curiosity. What the hell is he doing here? Your Toxic Sequel has a show in San Diego tonight. When I spoke to him earlier this morning, there had been absolutely no mention of him coming to Nashville. I’m definitely not complaining, but I can’t help but wonder what changed in the last several hours.But again … I’m so not going to complain. Not when he’s here and only mere feet away from me instead of hours. I haven’t seen him in ten days.Walking inside, I close the door behind me with the heel of my ankle boot. After I place my flowers, keys and bag on the foyer table, and hang the pea coat that refuses to button quite right in the front closet, I stop and sniff the air.Flowers. And from the scent of it, lots of them.“Don’t believe in Valentine’s Day, my ass,” I say breathlessly, repeating the words he had cockily stated to me a week ago when we chatted via Skype. So far, he’s sent me letters, flowers to my lunch date with Ashley, and now this. “You’ve clearly outdone yourself, Wolfe.”As I walk through the foyer and down the hall toward the sound of a rock cover of “Love Song”, I try to identify each individual scent. Roses. Lilies. There’s another that I can’t put my finger on, but I know I’ll find out what it is any moment now. Fully prepared for the floralpocalypse, I turn the corner and go into the dining room.The lights are dimmed to the lowest setting, but he’s lit candles of varying sizes, placing some on the floor and a few on the dining room table. In the center of the table is a small box from a Los Angeles-based chocolatier that I’ve always been addicted to and a colorful array of flowers—at least a few dozen.It’s one of those sights that would make any sane person’s heart skip a beat or two.“Holy shit, Lucas,” I whisper. I lean against the doorway, breathing in and out for a moment as I scan the room for the rock star himself.He’s nowhere in sight, but now I can hear his singing—a low and amazingly delicious growl—coming from the pantry that connects the kitchen and dining room. “What happened to San Diego?” I ask loudly enough for him to hear me. His song ends abruptly, and I can almost picture the sexy, animalistic grin that follows.“Time zones, remember? San Diego’s not happening for another six hours.” Something inside the pantry clangs to the floor, and I cringe and take a few tentative steps further inside the dining room. “This was our first Valentine’s Day together, Red. There was no fucking way I was going to spend it away from you.”Ah. Well that makes sense. And it also makes him being here right now even that more incredible and romantic. He didn’t come to me because of a cancelled show, but because he needed to see me before the show.“I was going to—” But I cut myself off. Somehow, I think telling him I planned on spending the night with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams seems kind of lame. “I’m glad you came, Lucas. Really … you have no idea.”Crossing my arms over my chest, I walk over to the table and slide onto one of the plush chairs. I lean forward, inhaling one of the bouquets sitting on top of the salvaged wood table and studying the beautiful, vivid arrangement of red, pinks and purple. Orchids. The smell I couldn’t place a few minutes ago was orchid.“This is really—” My breath catches when he comes out of the pantry. He looks casual in a crew neck tee shirt that shows off his tattooed arms and jeans and boots. The corners of his hazel eyes crinkle as he smiles at me – a look that tells me he knows just how much he’s affecting me right now. The thing is, I don’t think there will ever be a moment when Lucas Wolfe doesn’t affect me. I’ve been attracted to him since the moment I first laid eyes on him, and even now, three years later, I’m still utterly stunned.Only now, it makes me a lot more emotional than it had on the set of one of his music videos.I press the tips of my fingers to the corners of my eyes so the waterworks won’t start. “What happened to not celebrating Valentine’s Day?” I tease, scooting my chair back to stand up. I meet him halfway, and he reaches around me expertly to place whatever it is he’s holding on the table right next to the box of chocolates.“Did you really believe that shit?” His hand finds my hip. He gives me a gentle tug toward him, and I swallow hard as my body brushes up against his. “I’m not a big fan of Christmas either, but when you’re around …” He strokes his fingertips up my side until he’s cupping my breast. A jolt of electricity speeds through me and I shiver. Pleased with my reaction, he continues, “Let’s just say everything takes on a new meaning. You understand that, don’t you?”Nodding, I release a strained noise from the back of my throat. “Keep saying things like that and you will not be going back to San Diego tonight.”“You think that’s a bad thing, Si.” He slides his strong hands down the small of my back until he’s cupping my ass and bends his head forward until his shaggy dark hair falls over my face. “But they’re expecting me back.” He gives me a regretful smile.“Hot,” I tease as he lets go of me and reaches onto the table. “Lucas-Fucking-Wolfe following rules.”He buries his mouth into the crook of my neck, placing hot, urgent kisses along my skin. Dear god.“I’ve got no control when it comes to you, Sienna,” he growls against my collarbone. “So don’t think I won’t break a rule and take you back with me.”“Work,” I remind him.“You can come dress me anytime, Red.” But with those words, he pulls himself away from me and takes a few steps back. Once there’s a reasonable amount of space between us, he holds out a small scarlet-colored box. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”When I don’t immediately take it, twisting my lips to the side anxiously, he cocks an eyebrow. “You’re not doing this again, are you, Red?”“I sent your gift to your hotel in San Diego,” I explain.“I’ve already got it.” He grins self-assuredly, even though I know for a fact he probably didn’t receive it before he boarded the flight to come here. Closing some of the space between us, he wraps my fingers around the box, giving them a little squeeze. “You’ve already given me more than I ever imagined. Now, open the gift.”I open it slowly, hesitantly, sliding my fingers beneath the tape and tugging it off the cardboard. When I take the lid off and pull the thin sheet of cotton aside, I find a sleek black key fob. I flip it over and gasp.“A Land Rover?” I demand.Nodding slowly, he says, “An LR4. They’re detailing it tonight, but it’ll be dropped off—”I shake my head. When Lucas had tried to buy me a car at Christmas, I’d refused. I hadn’t expected him to try again so soon. “Lucas, I can’t— This is too—”Now it’s his turn to cut me off. “Don’t ruin our first real Valentine’s Day, Sienna,” he orders. He pulls me close to him, silencing my protests with his full lips. Once I’m breathless and dizzy, he ends the kiss, tracing the tip of his tongue along my lips before leaning back to give me a serious look. “You’re going to be my wife. Get used to this.”Releasing a long exhale, I tilt my head to the side, sending my long red hair tumbling over one of my shoulders. “Not to sound ungrateful, but this is a lot, Lucas.”He shrugs my words off. “And not to sound like a fucking tool, but it’s got a good safety rating. With a kid it—”The second he says the word kid—in a voice that’s full of awe and acceptance—I feel my face ignite. Before I can say a word, he jerks his head forward in acknowledgment. “I know this isn’t the way you wanted to do things, but this is the happiest I’ve ever fucking been.” His hands skim across the soft cotton of my shirt over my stomach. “I don’t know what kind of dad I’ll be, Sienna. I’ve been known to be selfish, and a lot of other things, but I do know I love you. That I love anything that comes from you, from us.”“Okay … how do you know already?” I ask, trying to keep my voice level. I had realized I was pregnant three weeks ago, but my appointment today had confirmed that. I’m terrified—who wouldn’t be?—but I’m also … the happiest I’ve ever been.He cups my face and smiles at me. This gentle side of Lucas is the one that always make my knees buckle, my pulse speed up, and I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders and hold on to him tight. “I know you, Red,” he explains but then his look turns sheepish. “And you mentioned it in your sleep.”Sneaky asshole. But I can’t help but smile. “I was going to tell you on your birthday.” I’m having a baby. With the man I love. Wow. “Surprise,” I say in a small voice. “And happy Valentine’s Day.”“I love surprises.” He slides his thumb over my lips and stares down at me like I’m the only woman he’s ever known. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Sienna. I love you, Red.”“I love you, too.”
Note: This was previously featured on Shh Mom's Reading for Valentine's Day a couple years ago. It was essential that I include it in the story after that last chapter. ;)
***
This was the first Valentine’s in what felt like years that I’ve been with somebody, more specifically someone I planned to marry, but because of our different job obligations, I would be spending it alone. Today, in between working and running errands—a doctor’s appointment, lunch with my friend Ashley, and stopping by my gram’s place for an early dinner—I had constantly reminded myself how grateful I am to be doing what I love to do for a living. Still … coming home to an empty house with a handful of tearjerkers from the Walgreen’s Redbox does make me reevaluate the way I’ll schedule wardrobe assignments in the future.Especially since I would be taking a lot of time off of work in several months.I drag in a cleansing breath to flush down the sudden wave of anxiety that hits me. Even though my mom has continued to be scarce, I’ve been overwhelmed a lot here lately, and I’ve found that stopping to take a breath almost instantly makes me feel better.“Everything will be fine,” I tell myself sternly as I shut off the engine to my sedan. I grab the DVDs, a vase of flowers, and my bag and get out of the car. “Everything will be okay.”But the moment I unlock the front door and step inside the home Lucas had purchased last year, I’m met with the sound of rock music blasting through the giant house. The upstairs light is on, casting a muted glow over the foyer, and across from where I’m standing, I can tell that the alarm system has been deactivated. My heart flies into my throat, and I take a step backward onto the brick porch behind me.Someone is here.Despite my already full hands, I’m reaching for my phone, keys and pepper spray when a familiar voice yells out to me. “It’s just me! No calling the cops, okay? No time for that tonight, Red—I’m cutting it too close.”Lucas. I start to let out a sigh of relief, but then, just to be sure, I poke my head through the doorway and call his name loudly.“Relax, and get your beautiful ass back here.” His confirmation puts a complete halt to the fear spiraling through me, replacing it with curiosity. What the hell is he doing here? Your Toxic Sequel has a show in San Diego tonight. When I spoke to him earlier this morning, there had been absolutely no mention of him coming to Nashville. I’m definitely not complaining, but I can’t help but wonder what changed in the last several hours.But again … I’m so not going to complain. Not when he’s here and only mere feet away from me instead of hours. I haven’t seen him in ten days.Walking inside, I close the door behind me with the heel of my ankle boot. After I place my flowers, keys and bag on the foyer table, and hang the pea coat that refuses to button quite right in the front closet, I stop and sniff the air.Flowers. And from the scent of it, lots of them.“Don’t believe in Valentine’s Day, my ass,” I say breathlessly, repeating the words he had cockily stated to me a week ago when we chatted via Skype. So far, he’s sent me letters, flowers to my lunch date with Ashley, and now this. “You’ve clearly outdone yourself, Wolfe.”As I walk through the foyer and down the hall toward the sound of a rock cover of “Love Song”, I try to identify each individual scent. Roses. Lilies. There’s another that I can’t put my finger on, but I know I’ll find out what it is any moment now. Fully prepared for the floralpocalypse, I turn the corner and go into the dining room.The lights are dimmed to the lowest setting, but he’s lit candles of varying sizes, placing some on the floor and a few on the dining room table. In the center of the table is a small box from a Los Angeles-based chocolatier that I’ve always been addicted to and a colorful array of flowers—at least a few dozen.It’s one of those sights that would make any sane person’s heart skip a beat or two.“Holy shit, Lucas,” I whisper. I lean against the doorway, breathing in and out for a moment as I scan the room for the rock star himself.He’s nowhere in sight, but now I can hear his singing—a low and amazingly delicious growl—coming from the pantry that connects the kitchen and dining room. “What happened to San Diego?” I ask loudly enough for him to hear me. His song ends abruptly, and I can almost picture the sexy, animalistic grin that follows.“Time zones, remember? San Diego’s not happening for another six hours.” Something inside the pantry clangs to the floor, and I cringe and take a few tentative steps further inside the dining room. “This was our first Valentine’s Day together, Red. There was no fucking way I was going to spend it away from you.”Ah. Well that makes sense. And it also makes him being here right now even that more incredible and romantic. He didn’t come to me because of a cancelled show, but because he needed to see me before the show.“I was going to—” But I cut myself off. Somehow, I think telling him I planned on spending the night with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams seems kind of lame. “I’m glad you came, Lucas. Really … you have no idea.”Crossing my arms over my chest, I walk over to the table and slide onto one of the plush chairs. I lean forward, inhaling one of the bouquets sitting on top of the salvaged wood table and studying the beautiful, vivid arrangement of red, pinks and purple. Orchids. The smell I couldn’t place a few minutes ago was orchid.“This is really—” My breath catches when he comes out of the pantry. He looks casual in a crew neck tee shirt that shows off his tattooed arms and jeans and boots. The corners of his hazel eyes crinkle as he smiles at me – a look that tells me he knows just how much he’s affecting me right now. The thing is, I don’t think there will ever be a moment when Lucas Wolfe doesn’t affect me. I’ve been attracted to him since the moment I first laid eyes on him, and even now, three years later, I’m still utterly stunned.Only now, it makes me a lot more emotional than it had on the set of one of his music videos.I press the tips of my fingers to the corners of my eyes so the waterworks won’t start. “What happened to not celebrating Valentine’s Day?” I tease, scooting my chair back to stand up. I meet him halfway, and he reaches around me expertly to place whatever it is he’s holding on the table right next to the box of chocolates.“Did you really believe that shit?” His hand finds my hip. He gives me a gentle tug toward him, and I swallow hard as my body brushes up against his. “I’m not a big fan of Christmas either, but when you’re around …” He strokes his fingertips up my side until he’s cupping my breast. A jolt of electricity speeds through me and I shiver. Pleased with my reaction, he continues, “Let’s just say everything takes on a new meaning. You understand that, don’t you?”Nodding, I release a strained noise from the back of my throat. “Keep saying things like that and you will not be going back to San Diego tonight.”“You think that’s a bad thing, Si.” He slides his strong hands down the small of my back until he’s cupping my ass and bends his head forward until his shaggy dark hair falls over my face. “But they’re expecting me back.” He gives me a regretful smile.“Hot,” I tease as he lets go of me and reaches onto the table. “Lucas-Fucking-Wolfe following rules.”He buries his mouth into the crook of my neck, placing hot, urgent kisses along my skin. Dear god.“I’ve got no control when it comes to you, Sienna,” he growls against my collarbone. “So don’t think I won’t break a rule and take you back with me.”“Work,” I remind him.“You can come dress me anytime, Red.” But with those words, he pulls himself away from me and takes a few steps back. Once there’s a reasonable amount of space between us, he holds out a small scarlet-colored box. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”When I don’t immediately take it, twisting my lips to the side anxiously, he cocks an eyebrow. “You’re not doing this again, are you, Red?”“I sent your gift to your hotel in San Diego,” I explain.“I’ve already got it.” He grins self-assuredly, even though I know for a fact he probably didn’t receive it before he boarded the flight to come here. Closing some of the space between us, he wraps my fingers around the box, giving them a little squeeze. “You’ve already given me more than I ever imagined. Now, open the gift.”I open it slowly, hesitantly, sliding my fingers beneath the tape and tugging it off the cardboard. When I take the lid off and pull the thin sheet of cotton aside, I find a sleek black key fob. I flip it over and gasp.“A Land Rover?” I demand.Nodding slowly, he says, “An LR4. They’re detailing it tonight, but it’ll be dropped off—”I shake my head. When Lucas had tried to buy me a car at Christmas, I’d refused. I hadn’t expected him to try again so soon. “Lucas, I can’t— This is too—”Now it’s his turn to cut me off. “Don’t ruin our first real Valentine’s Day, Sienna,” he orders. He pulls me close to him, silencing my protests with his full lips. Once I’m breathless and dizzy, he ends the kiss, tracing the tip of his tongue along my lips before leaning back to give me a serious look. “You’re going to be my wife. Get used to this.”Releasing a long exhale, I tilt my head to the side, sending my long red hair tumbling over one of my shoulders. “Not to sound ungrateful, but this is a lot, Lucas.”He shrugs my words off. “And not to sound like a fucking tool, but it’s got a good safety rating. With a kid it—”The second he says the word kid—in a voice that’s full of awe and acceptance—I feel my face ignite. Before I can say a word, he jerks his head forward in acknowledgment. “I know this isn’t the way you wanted to do things, but this is the happiest I’ve ever fucking been.” His hands skim across the soft cotton of my shirt over my stomach. “I don’t know what kind of dad I’ll be, Sienna. I’ve been known to be selfish, and a lot of other things, but I do know I love you. That I love anything that comes from you, from us.”“Okay … how do you know already?” I ask, trying to keep my voice level. I had realized I was pregnant three weeks ago, but my appointment today had confirmed that. I’m terrified—who wouldn’t be?—but I’m also … the happiest I’ve ever been.He cups my face and smiles at me. This gentle side of Lucas is the one that always make my knees buckle, my pulse speed up, and I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders and hold on to him tight. “I know you, Red,” he explains but then his look turns sheepish. “And you mentioned it in your sleep.”Sneaky asshole. But I can’t help but smile. “I was going to tell you on your birthday.” I’m having a baby. With the man I love. Wow. “Surprise,” I say in a small voice. “And happy Valentine’s Day.”“I love surprises.” He slides his thumb over my lips and stares down at me like I’m the only woman he’s ever known. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Sienna. I love you, Red.”“I love you, too.”
July 7, 2015
Completed: Chapter Twenty-One
Completed: a Devoured novellaChapter Twenty-One
Christmas comes and goes without a word from my mother and New Year’s follows. I know she’s staying with friends—she’s had contact with Gram (to ask for cash, of course)—but I’ve started to believe that Lucas was right. That maybe his lawyers really have scared the shit out of Mom.
Regardless, I do my best to put her out of my mind when we fly to Florida for a Your Toxic Sequel show in the middle of January. Kylie’s texted every day for the last week, threatening me with bodily harm if I don’t tagalong with Lucas, so I’m ready to spend time with her after we check into our hotel early and Lucas disappears to do band stuff. When I step into the breakfast restaurant she’s picked, it’s the first time I’ve seen her in a few weeks. She stands as soon as she sees me, and I decide she’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in a quirky black mustache-print maternity top, jeans, and knee high boots.
“You are so—” I start as I approach our table, but Kylie holds up a finger and jerks her head from side to side.
“Don’t you dare, Sienna.” But she hugs me tightly.
“Totally cute,” I finish, and she snorts. “Seriously, I hope I look that good someday when I’m pregnant.”
“Oh please, you’re like seven foot tall. No shit you’ll look good.” Laughing, she releases me and we both sit down. She takes a sip of water and then puts her elbows on the table. “We had dinner with Sinjin last night and I made the mistake of wearing a blue dress. That ass had the nerve to call me Violet Beauregarde.”
I cock an eyebrow. “I have no idea who that is.”
Her dark brown eyes go wide. “Good Lord, woman. She’s the little blueberry from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” She shakes her head, her expression wavering between disbelief and sadness. “I could have sworn you told me you were a Johnny Depp fanatic.”
“I am.” I wink. “Just haven’t seen that particular movie.”
“Where the hell did my brother find you?”
We go back and forth for a few minutes, the conversation light and joking, but after we order breakfast—pancakes for me and an omelet for her—Kylie finally asks about my mom. “Is she still keeping away?”
Slowly, I spin my spoon around my coffee, stirring the creamer until the dark liquid is a light caramel color. “Nothing yet.” I shrug. “But that doesn’t mean anything, she always comes back.”
“You’d think by now she’d just wave a white flag.” Kylie leans close to the table and a grin gradually makes its way across her face. “Want to hear a secret?” When I nod, she dances in her seat. “It’s a boy,” she whispers, and I beam.
“Congratulations! And holy crap, does Wyatt know?”
She bobs her head. “But he’s the only other person who knows.” Her lips thin into a sheepish smile. “We were planning on keeping it a secret, but as you can see I suck royally at secrets.”
“I’m honored.” And I am. I’d been one of the first people she had told about her pregnancy, and the fact I’m one of the only people who know the gender of her baby makes me feel like a million bucks. I lifted my coffee in a toast. “Here’s to Wyatt McRae Jr.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, babe.” She lifts her glass. “And who the hell knows, maybe we’ll be sitting here someday toasting to Lucas Wolfe Jr.”
*It’s not until late the next evening as we’re flying back to Nashville that I really think of Kylie’s words—and I probably wouldn’t have if I hadn’t accidentally pulled a couple tampons from my bag in an embarrassing search for my license at the airport’s security checkpoint.
Sitting next to Lucas on our flight, I search my brain for dates, trying to remember my last period. I’d transitioned to a different type of birth control right around Thanksgiving, which is the last time I can remember. Biting my bottom lip to avoid grinding my teeth, I try and try to remember a date—any date more recent than Thanksgiving—but absolutely none come to mind.
Holy shit.
“What are you thinking about?” Lucas’s warm breath fans my ear, and I swallow hard. I keep my stare straight ahead at the Sky magazine tucked into the back of the seat right in front of me. “Sienna?”
“What?” Oh god, why does my voice sound so panicky? Out the corner of my eye, I see his face work into a frown.
“Is everything alright, Red?” He cocks his head to the side, strands of his dark hair falling into his face. Automatically, I brush it back and he catches my hand in his, kissing my palm. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing,” I murmur, but he cups my face in his other hand, turning my gaze to his. I stare into his hazel eyes, scared out of my mind, wishing I were home right now. “I promise I’m fine,” I say.
*But five hours later when Lucas is sleeping and I’m alone in one of the guest bathrooms, I’m freaking out all over again.
When I drove to the 24-hour pharmacy a couple miles away, I’d been so afraid I’d make a mistake that I had gotten multiple pregnancy tests.
And they all told me the same thing.
Christmas comes and goes without a word from my mother and New Year’s follows. I know she’s staying with friends—she’s had contact with Gram (to ask for cash, of course)—but I’ve started to believe that Lucas was right. That maybe his lawyers really have scared the shit out of Mom.
Regardless, I do my best to put her out of my mind when we fly to Florida for a Your Toxic Sequel show in the middle of January. Kylie’s texted every day for the last week, threatening me with bodily harm if I don’t tagalong with Lucas, so I’m ready to spend time with her after we check into our hotel early and Lucas disappears to do band stuff. When I step into the breakfast restaurant she’s picked, it’s the first time I’ve seen her in a few weeks. She stands as soon as she sees me, and I decide she’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in a quirky black mustache-print maternity top, jeans, and knee high boots.
“You are so—” I start as I approach our table, but Kylie holds up a finger and jerks her head from side to side.
“Don’t you dare, Sienna.” But she hugs me tightly.
“Totally cute,” I finish, and she snorts. “Seriously, I hope I look that good someday when I’m pregnant.”
“Oh please, you’re like seven foot tall. No shit you’ll look good.” Laughing, she releases me and we both sit down. She takes a sip of water and then puts her elbows on the table. “We had dinner with Sinjin last night and I made the mistake of wearing a blue dress. That ass had the nerve to call me Violet Beauregarde.”
I cock an eyebrow. “I have no idea who that is.”
Her dark brown eyes go wide. “Good Lord, woman. She’s the little blueberry from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” She shakes her head, her expression wavering between disbelief and sadness. “I could have sworn you told me you were a Johnny Depp fanatic.”
“I am.” I wink. “Just haven’t seen that particular movie.”
“Where the hell did my brother find you?”
We go back and forth for a few minutes, the conversation light and joking, but after we order breakfast—pancakes for me and an omelet for her—Kylie finally asks about my mom. “Is she still keeping away?”
Slowly, I spin my spoon around my coffee, stirring the creamer until the dark liquid is a light caramel color. “Nothing yet.” I shrug. “But that doesn’t mean anything, she always comes back.”
“You’d think by now she’d just wave a white flag.” Kylie leans close to the table and a grin gradually makes its way across her face. “Want to hear a secret?” When I nod, she dances in her seat. “It’s a boy,” she whispers, and I beam.
“Congratulations! And holy crap, does Wyatt know?”
She bobs her head. “But he’s the only other person who knows.” Her lips thin into a sheepish smile. “We were planning on keeping it a secret, but as you can see I suck royally at secrets.”
“I’m honored.” And I am. I’d been one of the first people she had told about her pregnancy, and the fact I’m one of the only people who know the gender of her baby makes me feel like a million bucks. I lifted my coffee in a toast. “Here’s to Wyatt McRae Jr.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, babe.” She lifts her glass. “And who the hell knows, maybe we’ll be sitting here someday toasting to Lucas Wolfe Jr.”
*It’s not until late the next evening as we’re flying back to Nashville that I really think of Kylie’s words—and I probably wouldn’t have if I hadn’t accidentally pulled a couple tampons from my bag in an embarrassing search for my license at the airport’s security checkpoint.
Sitting next to Lucas on our flight, I search my brain for dates, trying to remember my last period. I’d transitioned to a different type of birth control right around Thanksgiving, which is the last time I can remember. Biting my bottom lip to avoid grinding my teeth, I try and try to remember a date—any date more recent than Thanksgiving—but absolutely none come to mind.
Holy shit.
“What are you thinking about?” Lucas’s warm breath fans my ear, and I swallow hard. I keep my stare straight ahead at the Sky magazine tucked into the back of the seat right in front of me. “Sienna?”
“What?” Oh god, why does my voice sound so panicky? Out the corner of my eye, I see his face work into a frown.
“Is everything alright, Red?” He cocks his head to the side, strands of his dark hair falling into his face. Automatically, I brush it back and he catches my hand in his, kissing my palm. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing,” I murmur, but he cups my face in his other hand, turning my gaze to his. I stare into his hazel eyes, scared out of my mind, wishing I were home right now. “I promise I’m fine,” I say.
*But five hours later when Lucas is sleeping and I’m alone in one of the guest bathrooms, I’m freaking out all over again.
When I drove to the 24-hour pharmacy a couple miles away, I’d been so afraid I’d make a mistake that I had gotten multiple pregnancy tests.
And they all told me the same thing.
July 6, 2015
First Verse
Hey guys! So ... you might have seen me post about a new book called Second Verse. I'm so excited to share it with you guys because I love, love, LOVE second chance romances and music and this story has both (plus a surprise cameo from one of my favorite characters).
But, as much as I love second chance romances, I also love reading about what happened before sh*t hit the fan. Which is why ...(drum roll, please?) ... I'm releasing First Verse THIS week.
For FREE.
Links to come later this week, but in the meantime, I'm so excited to share this GORGEOUS cover!
And PS to my girls who love Mr. Lucas-F*cking-Wolfe ... I just scheduled the next two Completed chapters here on blogger. Check back tomorrow night at 9PM EST!
But, as much as I love second chance romances, I also love reading about what happened before sh*t hit the fan. Which is why ...(drum roll, please?) ... I'm releasing First Verse THIS week.
For FREE.
Links to come later this week, but in the meantime, I'm so excited to share this GORGEOUS cover!
And PS to my girls who love Mr. Lucas-F*cking-Wolfe ... I just scheduled the next two Completed chapters here on blogger. Check back tomorrow night at 9PM EST!
April 25, 2015
Completed: Chapter 20
Completed: a Devoured novellaChapter 20
“Later?” I repeat teasingly when Lucas moves away from his spot between my legs. I grin up at him, feeling my heart race when he returns the expression. He touches the button of my jeans, undoing it. Then he yanks down the zipper in a quick, fluid motion. I shiver, the intense ripples dancing through my body and affecting the words I say next, “Later tonight or later—”
“Much later,” he interrupts. He drags my jeans—and panties—down my hips, jerks them past my feet, and discards them in a heap beside the couch. Bending, he kisses the inside of my left thigh. “Right now…” He moves his lips to my right thigh. “I’m going to fuck you.”
I gasp when his lips move higher up my leg. “You get right to the point, don’t you?” Nodding, he circles his tongue over the pale skin a mere few inches from my sex. “And here I was thinking we’d have a sweet night of lovemaking.”
He laughs, and my stomach flutters as his breath warms the sensitive flesh between my legs. Automatically, I clench my core, anticipating, wanting and needinghim. “We’ve gone over this before, Sienna. We’ll save that for later, but I need you now.”
He kisses my clit, causing me to grasp the linen material of our couch with one hand and a handful of his shaggy dark hair with the other. His lips move over the throbbing nub softly—almost as if he’s forgotten his own promise from a few seconds ago.
“I could write songs about you all day,” he muses between kisses.
“You’re going to make your band hate me,” I manage to argue, even as the sweet pressure builds in my core. “If all of your songs are about me and my—” He muffles my last few words with a few expert strokes of his tongue. Lucas Wolfe and his mouth are going to be the death of me.
Giving my center one last kiss, Lucas stands up straight. He stares down at me trembling and breathing heavily on the couch. “I don’t give a fuck how they feel, Red, but hate is the last thing any of them would say when it comes to you.” He shakes his head sternly. “No more about the band or your mother. I won’t bring those motherfuckers or crazy ass Rebecca into our bed.”
“Couch,” I remind him. “Technically, we’d be bringing them to our couch.” And I felt all sorts of dirty knowing that we’d eventually entertain guests in this very room.
He shrugs his broad shoulders. “Bed, couch—I can still find a way to tie you up to either.” When I open my mouth, he shakes his head. “And spank that perfect ass on either.”
“Promises, promises,” I laugh, but before I can utter another syllable, he pulls me up from the couch and turns me facing away from him. Cupping my breast through my shirt with one hand, he slaps my ass—once, then twice—with his free hand, drawing a moan brimming with pleasure and pain from the back of my throat. “Ouch,” I pant, and he chuckles.
“Ouch? Next time make it a little more believable because, right now, you sound like you’ll come all over the fucking place as soon as I touch you.” He curves my body to his, so that I can feel his erection through his jeans against my ass. Holy hell. “I keep my promises,” he says directly in my ear. I swallow hard and twist my head to look him in his hazel eyes. “And the way you’re breathing, the way you’re looking at me—” He flicks his tongue over the center of my lips, squeezes my hip, and releases my breast. “Just makes me want to keep them quicker.”
Speechless, I return to the couch and watch as he strips his tee shirt and jeans from his toned, tattooed body. I’ve always been too chicken shit to get a tattoo of my own, but damn, staring at the intricate ink on his tan skin makes the heat between my legs intensify. I follow the star tattoos down to his cock, and my face goes up in flames. When he catches me staring at him, he faces me directly, grinning broadly.
“Did you just lick your lips?”
“No,” I lie. He climbs onto the couch, positioning himself back between my thighs. He slides his hand between us and I suck in a deep breath as he slides a finger back and forth over my sex, each time coming close to my clit but not quite there. When I see his cocky grin and realize that he’s purposely teasing me, I grit my teeth. “You arrogant shit, of course I licked my lips and—”
I quickly forget what I was about to say next because he pulls a move that’s pure magic—his thumb finds my clit, his erection nudges past the opening of my sex, and that beautiful, talented mouth of his closes around my nipple. I buck my hips. He responds by driving into my body harder. Faster.
I lose myself in him. Feel every nerve ending of my body sing for Lucas. And when I’m seconds away from completely letting go, and I’m telling him how much I love him over and over, I feel his mouth centimeters from mine. “I fucking love you too, Sienna.”
*
Just as he promised, the sweet, unhurried lovemaking does come later. And after we’re done and I’m spooned against him in our actual bed, he keeps his other promise. He brings up my mother.
“How much did she ask you for?” I question, and I feel him let out a breath against the nape of my neck.
“Fifty.”
“Hundred?” I ask hopefully, even though that’s still a ridiculous amount of money.
He laughs. “Thousand, Red,” he says and I cringe. Holy shit. What the hell is wrong with my mom? Turning my head to look at him, I shake my head, and take a few seconds to catch my breath and let the shame roll through me.
“I’m so sorry. And embarrassed. And—” I pull in a shuddering breath, and he feathers his thumb over my cheek.
“You shouldn’t be,” he says. “And no offense, but fuck her.”
I force a laugh. “Did you tell her that?”
“I did.”
“And she didn’t try to burn your eyes out with a cigarette?”
He kisses me between the shoulder blades, and I automatically arch them together. “She gave me a long-winded spiel about ruining my career, then threw in some more pleading. I told her to fuck off again and to have a good time when she tried to shit on my career. My attorneys will eat her ass alive.”
I lift my eyebrow. “And you think that’ll work on her.”
He moves his lips to my neck, and my pulse races when his hand finds my hip. Sure enough, he rolls me over, pulling me on top of him. The last thing he says about my mother before laying claim to my body again is, “She doesn’t have a choice.”
“Later?” I repeat teasingly when Lucas moves away from his spot between my legs. I grin up at him, feeling my heart race when he returns the expression. He touches the button of my jeans, undoing it. Then he yanks down the zipper in a quick, fluid motion. I shiver, the intense ripples dancing through my body and affecting the words I say next, “Later tonight or later—”
“Much later,” he interrupts. He drags my jeans—and panties—down my hips, jerks them past my feet, and discards them in a heap beside the couch. Bending, he kisses the inside of my left thigh. “Right now…” He moves his lips to my right thigh. “I’m going to fuck you.”
I gasp when his lips move higher up my leg. “You get right to the point, don’t you?” Nodding, he circles his tongue over the pale skin a mere few inches from my sex. “And here I was thinking we’d have a sweet night of lovemaking.”
He laughs, and my stomach flutters as his breath warms the sensitive flesh between my legs. Automatically, I clench my core, anticipating, wanting and needinghim. “We’ve gone over this before, Sienna. We’ll save that for later, but I need you now.”
He kisses my clit, causing me to grasp the linen material of our couch with one hand and a handful of his shaggy dark hair with the other. His lips move over the throbbing nub softly—almost as if he’s forgotten his own promise from a few seconds ago.
“I could write songs about you all day,” he muses between kisses.
“You’re going to make your band hate me,” I manage to argue, even as the sweet pressure builds in my core. “If all of your songs are about me and my—” He muffles my last few words with a few expert strokes of his tongue. Lucas Wolfe and his mouth are going to be the death of me.
Giving my center one last kiss, Lucas stands up straight. He stares down at me trembling and breathing heavily on the couch. “I don’t give a fuck how they feel, Red, but hate is the last thing any of them would say when it comes to you.” He shakes his head sternly. “No more about the band or your mother. I won’t bring those motherfuckers or crazy ass Rebecca into our bed.”
“Couch,” I remind him. “Technically, we’d be bringing them to our couch.” And I felt all sorts of dirty knowing that we’d eventually entertain guests in this very room.
He shrugs his broad shoulders. “Bed, couch—I can still find a way to tie you up to either.” When I open my mouth, he shakes his head. “And spank that perfect ass on either.”
“Promises, promises,” I laugh, but before I can utter another syllable, he pulls me up from the couch and turns me facing away from him. Cupping my breast through my shirt with one hand, he slaps my ass—once, then twice—with his free hand, drawing a moan brimming with pleasure and pain from the back of my throat. “Ouch,” I pant, and he chuckles.
“Ouch? Next time make it a little more believable because, right now, you sound like you’ll come all over the fucking place as soon as I touch you.” He curves my body to his, so that I can feel his erection through his jeans against my ass. Holy hell. “I keep my promises,” he says directly in my ear. I swallow hard and twist my head to look him in his hazel eyes. “And the way you’re breathing, the way you’re looking at me—” He flicks his tongue over the center of my lips, squeezes my hip, and releases my breast. “Just makes me want to keep them quicker.”
Speechless, I return to the couch and watch as he strips his tee shirt and jeans from his toned, tattooed body. I’ve always been too chicken shit to get a tattoo of my own, but damn, staring at the intricate ink on his tan skin makes the heat between my legs intensify. I follow the star tattoos down to his cock, and my face goes up in flames. When he catches me staring at him, he faces me directly, grinning broadly.
“Did you just lick your lips?”
“No,” I lie. He climbs onto the couch, positioning himself back between my thighs. He slides his hand between us and I suck in a deep breath as he slides a finger back and forth over my sex, each time coming close to my clit but not quite there. When I see his cocky grin and realize that he’s purposely teasing me, I grit my teeth. “You arrogant shit, of course I licked my lips and—”
I quickly forget what I was about to say next because he pulls a move that’s pure magic—his thumb finds my clit, his erection nudges past the opening of my sex, and that beautiful, talented mouth of his closes around my nipple. I buck my hips. He responds by driving into my body harder. Faster.
I lose myself in him. Feel every nerve ending of my body sing for Lucas. And when I’m seconds away from completely letting go, and I’m telling him how much I love him over and over, I feel his mouth centimeters from mine. “I fucking love you too, Sienna.”
*
Just as he promised, the sweet, unhurried lovemaking does come later. And after we’re done and I’m spooned against him in our actual bed, he keeps his other promise. He brings up my mother.
“How much did she ask you for?” I question, and I feel him let out a breath against the nape of my neck.
“Fifty.”
“Hundred?” I ask hopefully, even though that’s still a ridiculous amount of money.
He laughs. “Thousand, Red,” he says and I cringe. Holy shit. What the hell is wrong with my mom? Turning my head to look at him, I shake my head, and take a few seconds to catch my breath and let the shame roll through me.
“I’m so sorry. And embarrassed. And—” I pull in a shuddering breath, and he feathers his thumb over my cheek.
“You shouldn’t be,” he says. “And no offense, but fuck her.”
I force a laugh. “Did you tell her that?”
“I did.”
“And she didn’t try to burn your eyes out with a cigarette?”
He kisses me between the shoulder blades, and I automatically arch them together. “She gave me a long-winded spiel about ruining my career, then threw in some more pleading. I told her to fuck off again and to have a good time when she tried to shit on my career. My attorneys will eat her ass alive.”
I lift my eyebrow. “And you think that’ll work on her.”
He moves his lips to my neck, and my pulse races when his hand finds my hip. Sure enough, he rolls me over, pulling me on top of him. The last thing he says about my mother before laying claim to my body again is, “She doesn’t have a choice.”
February 8, 2015
Completed: Chapter 19
Completed: a Devoured novellaChapter 19
Although I try my hardest to avoid mentioning my mother again over dinner, it doesn’t stop me from worrying over what Gram had told me over the next several hours. I should have known mom wouldn’t leave without wanting something, and I feel stupid for not realizing she’d ask for money before finally skulking away from Nashville. I’m just relieved that my grandmother had shot her down this time. The last thing we need is Gram getting another loan, putting herself back in debt just to appease my mother.
When I pick up Lucas from the airport, I plan to question him about whether my mom has asked for money the second I see him, but that idea flies out the window when I actually lay eyes on him. Wearing dark, slim-fitting jeans and an olive Henley with the sleeves pushed up far enough to showcase the sexy star tattoos on his muscular forearms, he takes my breath away as he slings his bag over his shoulder and heads in my direction.
“Welcome home,” I mouth, and he grins, quickening my pulse. Once he’s within earshot, I can’t help but smile like an idiot. “God, we’ve got to stop meeting like this,” I whisper in a husky voice. A powerful jolt of emotion slams into me when he pulls me to him by the first thing his long fingers come in contact with—the belt loop on my jeans—and he kisses me rough and hard.
Right in the middle of the airport.
“I love meeting you like this, Red.” I shiver as he runs one hand up the side of my body, not stopping until he’s touching my low ponytail. With a practiced flick of his fingers, he unravels my hairband and slips it into my back pocket. He backs away from me, wearing a mock frown. “But we should probably get home before I tear your clothes off right here.”
I laugh. “Yes, because your rabid fan club needs something new to hate me over.”
Our conversation on the way home is light, everything from Lucas teasing me about getting a new car—in my opinion, my old sedan is still perfectly functional—to himtelling me about a huge charity event the band has agreed to play in a couple weeks.
“It’s a big deal to Sin, so that makes it a big deal for me,” he explains, as I slow my car to a stop at the red light that leads into our neighborhood. I turn to him with one eyebrow raised.
“Did you tell Sin that?” Even though he’s in love, I can’t imagine my surly drummer friend letting Lucas get by with such sentimental words. Sure enough, Lucas chuckles.
“He told me to fuck myself.” He tilts his head to the side, and automatically, I reach out and tuck a lock of his messy dark hair behind his ear. He catches my hand and traces his lips over my palm before lifting his hazel eyes to mine. “And that you’re making me soft. I believe the term he used was pussy-whipped.”
Noticing that the light has turned green, I make a right turn. “God, that Sinjin Fields is a charmer.” I roll my eyes. “Did you tell him to go fuck himself right back?”
Lucas snorts. “Did you expect anything else from either of us?”
“Never.” Turning into our driveway, I turn off the ignition and take a deep breath. “Welcome back home, Lucas.”
“It’ll feel a hell of a lot more welcome once you’re out of those clothes and I find out why you’re so…”
I stiffen. “So what?”
“Stressed. You look stressed, Red, which tells me your mom’s been fucking with you again.”
I swallow hard. “That obvious?”
He points down at the steering wheel. “I’m surprised you haven’t yanked that goddamn thing off with the way you’re gripping it.” Then he nods at the house in front of us. “We’re not going in until you’ve told me what it is. I’m not letting that woman ruin our night.”
Inhaling, I count to ten before releasing a heavy breath and blurting out, “Did my mother come to you asking for money?” I switch on the interior light to see his face, and when there’s not even the slightest hint of confusion in his expression, I feel my heart sink. Not this shit again. “Jesus, Lucas, you can’t just throw money at people like my mom, expecting that it’ll be enough for her to just go away—”
But he cuts me off when he gets out the car. Sucking in my cheeks, I watch as he comes around to my side of the vehicle. He opens my door and tells me in a rough voice, “Turn off that light and get out the damn car.”
“Why? I thought we weren’t going inside until we talked it out.”
“Turn off the light, Sienna,” he repeats in a low voice.
When I do, he draws my hands in his. He pulls me against him, nudging the door shut with his knee. Framing my face with his large hands, he tilts my gaze up to his and stares down at me intensely. “Just because she came at me with her hand stretched out, doesn’t mean I gave her shit.” When I tremble under his touch, he growls against my mouth, “But maybe I should’ve. I fucking loathe seeing you like this. Makes me want to take you back to L.A. where I know she won’t come to bother you.”
Before I can respond, he literally sweeps me off my feet. “The neighbors are probably looking out their windows at us,” I say, but I wrap my arms around his shoulder.
“Don’t grind your teeth.” Then he shrugs and grins. “And fuck the neighbors. Just wait until I’m blasting music at midnight to cover up the sounds of your screams, Red.” He manages to effortlessly unlock and open the front door without loosening his grip on me, not putting me down until we’re in the living room.
He places me on the couch, spreading my knees apart and positioning his body between my legs. “I didn’t give your mom anything,” he tells me again, planting a hand on the couch to support himself when he bends over me. He kisses my neck, and I moan. “I’m not going to give your mother anything.” He drops his mouth lower, and my nipples harden the closer he gets to my breast. “But I’m sure as fuck going to help you take care of this situation.”
“How? When?” I whisper, but he shakes his head, tangling his hand in my hair and bringing our lips together.
“Later,” he promises.
Although I try my hardest to avoid mentioning my mother again over dinner, it doesn’t stop me from worrying over what Gram had told me over the next several hours. I should have known mom wouldn’t leave without wanting something, and I feel stupid for not realizing she’d ask for money before finally skulking away from Nashville. I’m just relieved that my grandmother had shot her down this time. The last thing we need is Gram getting another loan, putting herself back in debt just to appease my mother.
When I pick up Lucas from the airport, I plan to question him about whether my mom has asked for money the second I see him, but that idea flies out the window when I actually lay eyes on him. Wearing dark, slim-fitting jeans and an olive Henley with the sleeves pushed up far enough to showcase the sexy star tattoos on his muscular forearms, he takes my breath away as he slings his bag over his shoulder and heads in my direction.
“Welcome home,” I mouth, and he grins, quickening my pulse. Once he’s within earshot, I can’t help but smile like an idiot. “God, we’ve got to stop meeting like this,” I whisper in a husky voice. A powerful jolt of emotion slams into me when he pulls me to him by the first thing his long fingers come in contact with—the belt loop on my jeans—and he kisses me rough and hard.
Right in the middle of the airport.
“I love meeting you like this, Red.” I shiver as he runs one hand up the side of my body, not stopping until he’s touching my low ponytail. With a practiced flick of his fingers, he unravels my hairband and slips it into my back pocket. He backs away from me, wearing a mock frown. “But we should probably get home before I tear your clothes off right here.”
I laugh. “Yes, because your rabid fan club needs something new to hate me over.”
Our conversation on the way home is light, everything from Lucas teasing me about getting a new car—in my opinion, my old sedan is still perfectly functional—to himtelling me about a huge charity event the band has agreed to play in a couple weeks.
“It’s a big deal to Sin, so that makes it a big deal for me,” he explains, as I slow my car to a stop at the red light that leads into our neighborhood. I turn to him with one eyebrow raised.
“Did you tell Sin that?” Even though he’s in love, I can’t imagine my surly drummer friend letting Lucas get by with such sentimental words. Sure enough, Lucas chuckles.
“He told me to fuck myself.” He tilts his head to the side, and automatically, I reach out and tuck a lock of his messy dark hair behind his ear. He catches my hand and traces his lips over my palm before lifting his hazel eyes to mine. “And that you’re making me soft. I believe the term he used was pussy-whipped.”
Noticing that the light has turned green, I make a right turn. “God, that Sinjin Fields is a charmer.” I roll my eyes. “Did you tell him to go fuck himself right back?”
Lucas snorts. “Did you expect anything else from either of us?”
“Never.” Turning into our driveway, I turn off the ignition and take a deep breath. “Welcome back home, Lucas.”
“It’ll feel a hell of a lot more welcome once you’re out of those clothes and I find out why you’re so…”
I stiffen. “So what?”
“Stressed. You look stressed, Red, which tells me your mom’s been fucking with you again.”
I swallow hard. “That obvious?”
He points down at the steering wheel. “I’m surprised you haven’t yanked that goddamn thing off with the way you’re gripping it.” Then he nods at the house in front of us. “We’re not going in until you’ve told me what it is. I’m not letting that woman ruin our night.”
Inhaling, I count to ten before releasing a heavy breath and blurting out, “Did my mother come to you asking for money?” I switch on the interior light to see his face, and when there’s not even the slightest hint of confusion in his expression, I feel my heart sink. Not this shit again. “Jesus, Lucas, you can’t just throw money at people like my mom, expecting that it’ll be enough for her to just go away—”
But he cuts me off when he gets out the car. Sucking in my cheeks, I watch as he comes around to my side of the vehicle. He opens my door and tells me in a rough voice, “Turn off that light and get out the damn car.”
“Why? I thought we weren’t going inside until we talked it out.”
“Turn off the light, Sienna,” he repeats in a low voice.
When I do, he draws my hands in his. He pulls me against him, nudging the door shut with his knee. Framing my face with his large hands, he tilts my gaze up to his and stares down at me intensely. “Just because she came at me with her hand stretched out, doesn’t mean I gave her shit.” When I tremble under his touch, he growls against my mouth, “But maybe I should’ve. I fucking loathe seeing you like this. Makes me want to take you back to L.A. where I know she won’t come to bother you.”
Before I can respond, he literally sweeps me off my feet. “The neighbors are probably looking out their windows at us,” I say, but I wrap my arms around his shoulder.
“Don’t grind your teeth.” Then he shrugs and grins. “And fuck the neighbors. Just wait until I’m blasting music at midnight to cover up the sounds of your screams, Red.” He manages to effortlessly unlock and open the front door without loosening his grip on me, not putting me down until we’re in the living room.
He places me on the couch, spreading my knees apart and positioning his body between my legs. “I didn’t give your mom anything,” he tells me again, planting a hand on the couch to support himself when he bends over me. He kisses my neck, and I moan. “I’m not going to give your mother anything.” He drops his mouth lower, and my nipples harden the closer he gets to my breast. “But I’m sure as fuck going to help you take care of this situation.”
“How? When?” I whisper, but he shakes his head, tangling his hand in my hair and bringing our lips together.
“Later,” he promises.
January 15, 2015
Completed: Chapter 18
Completed: a Devoured novellaChapter 18
“You’re leaving?” I repeat my mother’s words, stunned by the bombshell she just dropped on my brother and me. Honestly, this is the last thing I expected her to say. When she nods, I pull my brows together in a frown. “When did you decide to do this? And where exactly are you moving?” By now, I’m literally sitting on the edge of my seat, dying to know what Mom has up her sleeve this time.
She stops pacing a few feet from entrance to living room. With her back turned to us, she lifts her thin shoulders into a shrug. “Why does it matter when I decided to get the hell out of here? All you need to know is that I’m leaving a week from now to stay with friends.”
I cringe. Because the first thing that comes to my mind are the friends she used to surround herself with when Seth and I were kids. “How—” I start to ask, but Mom cuts me off by turning around and holding up her hands to stop me.
“And no, I don’t know how long I’ll be gone for, but I can’t be around this type of environment anymore.”
The irritated tone that she uses when she speaks those words, and the way she gestures around at my living room, puts a sour taste in my mouth. From opposite ends of the couch, Seth and I glance at each other. His brown eyes are narrowed into thin slits, and when he mouths, “What the fuck?” I know he’s thinking the same thing I am.
Aggravated, I come right out and confront her. “Mom, if you’re trying to say that the reason that you’re leaving is because of us, you can stop right there.”
“Nobody said a damn thing about you being the reason, Sienna.” Sitting down on the edge of the chaise lounge by the fireplace, she combs her hands through her strawberry blond hair and sighs. “Maybe you’re thinking that way because you’re guilty.”
“Neither of us is guilty,” I retort before Seth can say a word, and he gives me a nod before turning his focus back on our mother.
“Have you told Gram about your plans yet?” he asks.
My muscles tighten in suppressed anger when Mom rolls her green eyes and lifts her shoulders again. I already know she’s going to say something totally warped, so I should just cover my ears, but I don’t. “Why does it matter?” she asks, looking me right in the eye as she says it, knowingly baiting me.
Those four words start the argument. It’s heated and I’m sure my new neighbors can probably hear the back and forth yelling that echoes through the giant house, but I don’t care. By the time Seth leaves, taking our mother along with him, I’m shaking and my entire body is flushed because here’s the thing: I can deal just fine with Mom’s flippant attitude toward me—hell, I’m used to it—but for her not to even consider Gram’s feelings…
Well, that infuriates me.
I’m still fuming when I go out to dinner with Gram and Seth two nights later. Because Lucas is flying in to Nashville later tonight, we opt for an earlier than usual time to meet at one of Gram’s favorite restaurant in Green Hills. Since I moved back to Nashville earlier this year, we try to have dinner out at least once a month, but tonight we sit in unusual silence. It reminds me of the time we came here this last summer—right before I left to go on tour with Lucas and Your Toxic Sequel. Seth had turned dinner into an awkward situation when he’d lectured me about leaving with Lucas, even going as far as to give me safe sex advice.
Tonight, however, my little brother says nothing.
He doesn’t want to break our grandma’s heart with the news that Mom is planning on leaving without telling her, and neither do I.
By the time we get through our appetizers and the waiter brings out our main course, Gram has had enough of the uncomfortable silence. From her spot next to me, she sets her sweet tea down beside her plate and sits back in the booth. She stares between my brother and me. “Seth, when you don’t talk, I know something is wrong.” Her bright blue eyes narrow. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Seth focuses his dark eyes down at his plate, and across from him, I tap my fingers on the table. He doesn’t look up. Of course, my little brother would lose his ability to speak and leave this up to me. I release a heavy sigh. “Gram, Mom talked to Seth and me the other day, and—”
“She’s skipping town.” It isn’t a question—and there’s not even a hint of surprise in her voice. She already knows about this, and I feel my heart sink. Seth’s gaze pops up, and we both stare at her, waiting for her to continue. She takes another sip of her sweet tea. “I figured it out when she asked me for money.”
“How much?” I whisper.
“Five thousand.”
I swallow hard. Gram’s not a rich woman. Thanks to my mom, she’d lost her home at the beginning of this year. To think that she’s being played again makes me see red. “Gram … did you give it to her?” I ask in the gentlest tone I can manage.
She shakes her head, turning her attention on the half-eaten grilled salmon on her plate. A sad smile plays at the corner of her mouth. “But boy did she give me a story about wanting to start over. Sienna, Seth … I want her to start over—more than anything else, I want that for your mother—but I can’t do it anymore.”
“So, is she still planning to move?” my brother asks, not even trying to hide the hope in his voice.
“Thanks for finally contributing to the conversation,” I say under my breath, and he shoots me a dark look as my grandmother responds to his question with an unsure nod.
When Gram turns toward me, covers my hand with hers, I already know what she’s about to tell me, but I still suck in a breath through my teeth when she says, “She’s planning to ask Lucas for money, Sienna. I thought it was fair to warn you.”
“Fuck,” Seth says, and Gram presses her lips into a line, causing him to immediately apologize.
I start to tell them both that Lucas absolutely won’t give my mother the time of day, but then I vividly recall how he’d aided her before with her early release. It had been an attempt to get her off my back, but his plan had backfired when she decided to place herself directly into my life again. Lucas has said over and over again how different my mood is when Mom is around, so who knows what he’d be willing to do to make her leave.
Turning my hand, I give Gram’s fingers a little squeeze. “I’ll talk to him tonight.”
“You’re leaving?” I repeat my mother’s words, stunned by the bombshell she just dropped on my brother and me. Honestly, this is the last thing I expected her to say. When she nods, I pull my brows together in a frown. “When did you decide to do this? And where exactly are you moving?” By now, I’m literally sitting on the edge of my seat, dying to know what Mom has up her sleeve this time.
She stops pacing a few feet from entrance to living room. With her back turned to us, she lifts her thin shoulders into a shrug. “Why does it matter when I decided to get the hell out of here? All you need to know is that I’m leaving a week from now to stay with friends.”
I cringe. Because the first thing that comes to my mind are the friends she used to surround herself with when Seth and I were kids. “How—” I start to ask, but Mom cuts me off by turning around and holding up her hands to stop me.
“And no, I don’t know how long I’ll be gone for, but I can’t be around this type of environment anymore.”
The irritated tone that she uses when she speaks those words, and the way she gestures around at my living room, puts a sour taste in my mouth. From opposite ends of the couch, Seth and I glance at each other. His brown eyes are narrowed into thin slits, and when he mouths, “What the fuck?” I know he’s thinking the same thing I am.
Aggravated, I come right out and confront her. “Mom, if you’re trying to say that the reason that you’re leaving is because of us, you can stop right there.”
“Nobody said a damn thing about you being the reason, Sienna.” Sitting down on the edge of the chaise lounge by the fireplace, she combs her hands through her strawberry blond hair and sighs. “Maybe you’re thinking that way because you’re guilty.”
“Neither of us is guilty,” I retort before Seth can say a word, and he gives me a nod before turning his focus back on our mother.
“Have you told Gram about your plans yet?” he asks.
My muscles tighten in suppressed anger when Mom rolls her green eyes and lifts her shoulders again. I already know she’s going to say something totally warped, so I should just cover my ears, but I don’t. “Why does it matter?” she asks, looking me right in the eye as she says it, knowingly baiting me.
Those four words start the argument. It’s heated and I’m sure my new neighbors can probably hear the back and forth yelling that echoes through the giant house, but I don’t care. By the time Seth leaves, taking our mother along with him, I’m shaking and my entire body is flushed because here’s the thing: I can deal just fine with Mom’s flippant attitude toward me—hell, I’m used to it—but for her not to even consider Gram’s feelings…
Well, that infuriates me.
I’m still fuming when I go out to dinner with Gram and Seth two nights later. Because Lucas is flying in to Nashville later tonight, we opt for an earlier than usual time to meet at one of Gram’s favorite restaurant in Green Hills. Since I moved back to Nashville earlier this year, we try to have dinner out at least once a month, but tonight we sit in unusual silence. It reminds me of the time we came here this last summer—right before I left to go on tour with Lucas and Your Toxic Sequel. Seth had turned dinner into an awkward situation when he’d lectured me about leaving with Lucas, even going as far as to give me safe sex advice.
Tonight, however, my little brother says nothing.
He doesn’t want to break our grandma’s heart with the news that Mom is planning on leaving without telling her, and neither do I.
By the time we get through our appetizers and the waiter brings out our main course, Gram has had enough of the uncomfortable silence. From her spot next to me, she sets her sweet tea down beside her plate and sits back in the booth. She stares between my brother and me. “Seth, when you don’t talk, I know something is wrong.” Her bright blue eyes narrow. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Seth focuses his dark eyes down at his plate, and across from him, I tap my fingers on the table. He doesn’t look up. Of course, my little brother would lose his ability to speak and leave this up to me. I release a heavy sigh. “Gram, Mom talked to Seth and me the other day, and—”
“She’s skipping town.” It isn’t a question—and there’s not even a hint of surprise in her voice. She already knows about this, and I feel my heart sink. Seth’s gaze pops up, and we both stare at her, waiting for her to continue. She takes another sip of her sweet tea. “I figured it out when she asked me for money.”
“How much?” I whisper.
“Five thousand.”
I swallow hard. Gram’s not a rich woman. Thanks to my mom, she’d lost her home at the beginning of this year. To think that she’s being played again makes me see red. “Gram … did you give it to her?” I ask in the gentlest tone I can manage.
She shakes her head, turning her attention on the half-eaten grilled salmon on her plate. A sad smile plays at the corner of her mouth. “But boy did she give me a story about wanting to start over. Sienna, Seth … I want her to start over—more than anything else, I want that for your mother—but I can’t do it anymore.”
“So, is she still planning to move?” my brother asks, not even trying to hide the hope in his voice.
“Thanks for finally contributing to the conversation,” I say under my breath, and he shoots me a dark look as my grandmother responds to his question with an unsure nod.
When Gram turns toward me, covers my hand with hers, I already know what she’s about to tell me, but I still suck in a breath through my teeth when she says, “She’s planning to ask Lucas for money, Sienna. I thought it was fair to warn you.”
“Fuck,” Seth says, and Gram presses her lips into a line, causing him to immediately apologize.
I start to tell them both that Lucas absolutely won’t give my mother the time of day, but then I vividly recall how he’d aided her before with her early release. It had been an attempt to get her off my back, but his plan had backfired when she decided to place herself directly into my life again. Lucas has said over and over again how different my mood is when Mom is around, so who knows what he’d be willing to do to make her leave.
Turning my hand, I give Gram’s fingers a little squeeze. “I’ll talk to him tonight.”
January 1, 2015
Completed: Chapter Seventeen
Completed: a Devoured novellaChapter 17
My head is still spinning in the best way possible when my brother texts four days later, on Wednesday, asking if he can come over. Since Gram has probably already told him all about the house Lucas gave me—I’d excitedly given her the grand tour on Monday when she stopped by before a doctor’s appointment—I message him back to let him know I’ll be home.
Home.
I swear that word is going to take more getting used to than fiancé did.
Waiting for Seth to show up, I try my best to put some order to the moving clutter in the foyer. Lucas hadn’t left for Los Angeles until yesterday evening, which had given me more time with him than I’d anticipated. Instead of spending that extra time in bed (or, you know, against a wall), like we normally would, we’d started the process of furniture shopping. Well, I picked out furniture. He’d chuckled at my excitement, telling me he didn’t give a fuck what the inside of the house looked like as long as I’m in it.
I’d nearly swooned like a fool right in the middle of Restoration Hardware.
I’m in the middle of toting a couple of empty boxes to the garage when the doorbell rings. I toss the empty cardboard into the massive, empty space, and then race to the front door. Wearing a giant smile, I swing the door open and freeze when I get an eyeful of who’s standing on the porch with my brother.
My mother.
I’m going to choke my kid brother.
Seeing her so soon after our latest confrontation brings back that involuntary desire to grind my teeth, but I instead I continue to smile, which draws a hesitant, ghost of a grin from her. I don’t feel like dealing with a Rebecca-inspired headache tonight, but Gram had raised me to respect my parents, to be kind. Even though I’ve struggled like hell with that lately, I’m not going to tell my mother to go away. Not when she hasn’t done anything to antagonize me.
If and when that happens, though … well, then I’ll gladly show Mom the door.
Before I can say anything, my brother shrugs his broad shoulders sheepishly. “I was at Gram’s and she—”
“I’m standing right here, Seth, let me speak for my own damn self,” Mom interrupts, glaring daggers up at him. I bite the inside of my cheek. I haven’t even invited them inside and already she’s snippy. Turning her attention to me, one side of her mouth quirks up. “The three of us need to have a talk. And since I’ve heard Mama brag about this place for days—” She gestures widely to the house. “You gonna let us in, Sienna, or do you want your neighbors to hear everything I have to say?”
I feel every muscle in my body tighten as I move aside to let my brother and mother in. It takes every inch of self-control not to angrily slam the door because of the snide suggestion I heard in her words. Or hell, maybe I was just so used to her typical rudeness, I automatically assumed the worst. We’ve reached a point where the constant back-and-forth between us has to be playing tricks on my brain.
Locking the front door, I cross my arms tightly over my chest and walk slowly beside my brother. My mom has wandered ahead, staring up at the high ceilings and peeking around corners, and she’s out of earshot when Seth bends his head and whispers, “Don’t be too pissed, Si. She wouldn’t back down and—”
I shake my head. “I’ll get over it, let’s just … let’s see what she wants, okay?”
When Mom disappears down a hallway, I tell Seth where the living room is and leave him behind, walking a little faster to find her. She doesn’t go far, because I quickly locate her in my new laundry room—which is state-of-the-art and gets me excited to do laundry every time I walk inside. Mom is leaning against the granite counters, staring out at the empty spots where my new washer and dryer will eventually stand.
She stays silent until I eventually walk in front of her with my eyebrow raised. I almost expect to see her eyes glazed over, but Mom was never into actually taking drugs—just selling them. She’s completely alert, completely herself, when she releases a harsh laugh and rakes her hand through her strawberry blond hair. “Lord, Sienna. You don’t give me any credit.”
I glance behind me, at the outlet box, and then turn my focus back to her green eyes, which are now narrowed. “You’re looking at a wall. Sorry, but that worries me a little.”
She laughs and I can’t decide if it’s bitter or genuine, so I hold my breath, waiting for her to talk. “When your dad and I got married, we dreamt of this.” I make a little noise, but she shakes her head. “And before you act like a smartass and ask if I’m talking about the goddamn laundry room, I’m not. I’m talking about this. This house. Well, houses like it. Never worked out.”
“When you got remarried you had a nice place,” I point out, and she rolls her eyes.
“You love to throw that up in my face.”I haven’t directly brought up my asshole ex-stepfather or the big house they ran their mini drug empire from since Lucas helped her get an early release, but I decide to apologize anyway. “Sorry, but it was a general statement. Wasn’t throwing anything in your face.” When she gives me a stiff nod, I sigh. “Look, I don’t want to argue. Seth is waiting for us in the other room. We should go have that talk. I have a dinner appointment with a client at eight-thirty, and I can’t be late.”
It’s a lie, and a horrible one at that, but my mother seems to accept it. Gesturing to the hallway, she smirks. “Well, I don’t want to keep you, Sienna. Let’s get this over with.”
When we reach my new living room, Seth is texting, sprawled out on the linen sofa like he’s lived here for years. Glancing over at us, he lazily sits up. “You and douchebag are welcome to get me a couch like this for Christmas,” he drawls, ducking when I reach out to smack the back of his head as I sit next to him.
“I’d think by now you’d stop calling him that.”
“Someday,” my brother promises, sliding down to the other end of the couch so he’s far away from my reach.
From across the room, Mom clears her throat, pulling my brother’s brown eyes and my blue ones up to look at her. She’s pacing back and forth in front of the mantle and built-in bookshelves, clenching her thin hands together. “I realize what you two must think of me by now. I know what kind of person you think I am—and you’re probably justified. I’ve brought a world of hurt into both your lives, but I was never meant to be a mother. We all know that, so there’s no use pretending.”
Beside me, Seth groans. “Mom—”
She holds up her hand. “Let me finish,” she snaps, and I sink my fingers into the cushions. Feel a sharp pang in my chest because I can’t help but wonder if the next thing out my mother’s mouth will be to tell Seth and I we shouldn’t have been born or something equally as awful. Finally she continues, “The thing is, I don’t want to change. I don’t know how.”
Her words send a hot, familiar emotion flashing through me, and I drag my tongue over my teeth before I ask her why the hell we’re having this conversation if she has no intention of trying. But then Mom’s lips part again. And what she says next immediately silences me.
“Which is why I’m leaving.”
My head is still spinning in the best way possible when my brother texts four days later, on Wednesday, asking if he can come over. Since Gram has probably already told him all about the house Lucas gave me—I’d excitedly given her the grand tour on Monday when she stopped by before a doctor’s appointment—I message him back to let him know I’ll be home.
Home.
I swear that word is going to take more getting used to than fiancé did.
Waiting for Seth to show up, I try my best to put some order to the moving clutter in the foyer. Lucas hadn’t left for Los Angeles until yesterday evening, which had given me more time with him than I’d anticipated. Instead of spending that extra time in bed (or, you know, against a wall), like we normally would, we’d started the process of furniture shopping. Well, I picked out furniture. He’d chuckled at my excitement, telling me he didn’t give a fuck what the inside of the house looked like as long as I’m in it.
I’d nearly swooned like a fool right in the middle of Restoration Hardware.
I’m in the middle of toting a couple of empty boxes to the garage when the doorbell rings. I toss the empty cardboard into the massive, empty space, and then race to the front door. Wearing a giant smile, I swing the door open and freeze when I get an eyeful of who’s standing on the porch with my brother.
My mother.
I’m going to choke my kid brother.
Seeing her so soon after our latest confrontation brings back that involuntary desire to grind my teeth, but I instead I continue to smile, which draws a hesitant, ghost of a grin from her. I don’t feel like dealing with a Rebecca-inspired headache tonight, but Gram had raised me to respect my parents, to be kind. Even though I’ve struggled like hell with that lately, I’m not going to tell my mother to go away. Not when she hasn’t done anything to antagonize me.
If and when that happens, though … well, then I’ll gladly show Mom the door.
Before I can say anything, my brother shrugs his broad shoulders sheepishly. “I was at Gram’s and she—”
“I’m standing right here, Seth, let me speak for my own damn self,” Mom interrupts, glaring daggers up at him. I bite the inside of my cheek. I haven’t even invited them inside and already she’s snippy. Turning her attention to me, one side of her mouth quirks up. “The three of us need to have a talk. And since I’ve heard Mama brag about this place for days—” She gestures widely to the house. “You gonna let us in, Sienna, or do you want your neighbors to hear everything I have to say?”
I feel every muscle in my body tighten as I move aside to let my brother and mother in. It takes every inch of self-control not to angrily slam the door because of the snide suggestion I heard in her words. Or hell, maybe I was just so used to her typical rudeness, I automatically assumed the worst. We’ve reached a point where the constant back-and-forth between us has to be playing tricks on my brain.
Locking the front door, I cross my arms tightly over my chest and walk slowly beside my brother. My mom has wandered ahead, staring up at the high ceilings and peeking around corners, and she’s out of earshot when Seth bends his head and whispers, “Don’t be too pissed, Si. She wouldn’t back down and—”
I shake my head. “I’ll get over it, let’s just … let’s see what she wants, okay?”
When Mom disappears down a hallway, I tell Seth where the living room is and leave him behind, walking a little faster to find her. She doesn’t go far, because I quickly locate her in my new laundry room—which is state-of-the-art and gets me excited to do laundry every time I walk inside. Mom is leaning against the granite counters, staring out at the empty spots where my new washer and dryer will eventually stand.
She stays silent until I eventually walk in front of her with my eyebrow raised. I almost expect to see her eyes glazed over, but Mom was never into actually taking drugs—just selling them. She’s completely alert, completely herself, when she releases a harsh laugh and rakes her hand through her strawberry blond hair. “Lord, Sienna. You don’t give me any credit.”
I glance behind me, at the outlet box, and then turn my focus back to her green eyes, which are now narrowed. “You’re looking at a wall. Sorry, but that worries me a little.”
She laughs and I can’t decide if it’s bitter or genuine, so I hold my breath, waiting for her to talk. “When your dad and I got married, we dreamt of this.” I make a little noise, but she shakes her head. “And before you act like a smartass and ask if I’m talking about the goddamn laundry room, I’m not. I’m talking about this. This house. Well, houses like it. Never worked out.”
“When you got remarried you had a nice place,” I point out, and she rolls her eyes.
“You love to throw that up in my face.”I haven’t directly brought up my asshole ex-stepfather or the big house they ran their mini drug empire from since Lucas helped her get an early release, but I decide to apologize anyway. “Sorry, but it was a general statement. Wasn’t throwing anything in your face.” When she gives me a stiff nod, I sigh. “Look, I don’t want to argue. Seth is waiting for us in the other room. We should go have that talk. I have a dinner appointment with a client at eight-thirty, and I can’t be late.”
It’s a lie, and a horrible one at that, but my mother seems to accept it. Gesturing to the hallway, she smirks. “Well, I don’t want to keep you, Sienna. Let’s get this over with.”
When we reach my new living room, Seth is texting, sprawled out on the linen sofa like he’s lived here for years. Glancing over at us, he lazily sits up. “You and douchebag are welcome to get me a couch like this for Christmas,” he drawls, ducking when I reach out to smack the back of his head as I sit next to him.
“I’d think by now you’d stop calling him that.”
“Someday,” my brother promises, sliding down to the other end of the couch so he’s far away from my reach.
From across the room, Mom clears her throat, pulling my brother’s brown eyes and my blue ones up to look at her. She’s pacing back and forth in front of the mantle and built-in bookshelves, clenching her thin hands together. “I realize what you two must think of me by now. I know what kind of person you think I am—and you’re probably justified. I’ve brought a world of hurt into both your lives, but I was never meant to be a mother. We all know that, so there’s no use pretending.”
Beside me, Seth groans. “Mom—”
She holds up her hand. “Let me finish,” she snaps, and I sink my fingers into the cushions. Feel a sharp pang in my chest because I can’t help but wonder if the next thing out my mother’s mouth will be to tell Seth and I we shouldn’t have been born or something equally as awful. Finally she continues, “The thing is, I don’t want to change. I don’t know how.”
Her words send a hot, familiar emotion flashing through me, and I drag my tongue over my teeth before I ask her why the hell we’re having this conversation if she has no intention of trying. But then Mom’s lips part again. And what she says next immediately silences me.
“Which is why I’m leaving.”
