Shuvom Ghose's Blog - Posts Tagged "violation-by-exposition"
Attention All Military Sci Fi Writers:
ATTENTION ALL MILITARY SCIENCE FICTION WRITERS:
I don't care how gritty your hero is, how 'rocking' your action set pieces are or how eeeeeevil your one-dimensional alien baddies can be until you STOP EXPOSITING ALL OVER MY FACE IN THE FIRST CHAPTER.
"But I'm trying to set the scene!" this horrible author I just made up says. Yes, some exposition is needed. But we don't need to drown in it. We shouldn't even need a towel to wipe our face afterwards. Here's an example:
"Dirk McTuff gazed up at the millions of stars in the night sky, each blazing like the campfire at his feet. Somewhere up there, he knew, the BabyKiller Fleet was waiting for him. To make his first mistake."
Okay, that's a good first paragraph. It sets the scene; we know a little about the conflict in the main character's head. But unfortunately, in the 'published' military sci-fi books I've tried to read this week, that first paragraph is usually followed by this:
"The weight of his command was so heavy it hurt, and Dirk was not a man who liked to hurt. He was tough and resourceful, with a square jaw and dark black hair and had been in command of the fleet for 5 years, starting from a lowly Ion Cannon scrubber and working his way up to Captain. It had been tough, but he had done it, using the grit he had learned growing up on the mean streets of Gamma, the capital planet of the Human alliance.
Sitting next to him, the tall, willowy, big breasted Clara knew that Dirk was not a man who liked to hurt. She was smart and quick-witted without being sassy, and she knew Dirk was trying to hide his hurt with a clench of his square jaw and she loved him so much, it hurt her Vorpan heart.
Dirk knew Clara loved him, but he could not help but hurt her. He knew she was sexy and smart and quick-witted, but she was a Vorpan and he was a Gamman, and the Vorpans and Gammas had been enemies for the last fifteen Solar cycles, ever since the Fifth Booger War..."
AHHHHH!
STOP THAT! (And I couldn't even force myself to write as badly as some of the first chapters of 'mainstream' military sci-fi books with great reviews.)
You know what other genre has such lazy, runaway exposition to describe EVERYTHING the main characters are thinking without showing us through action?
Romance novels.
Cheesy ones with Fabio or his non-union equivalent on the cover.
Don't write bad romance novels pretending to be military sci-fi. Don't violate your readers' faces with pulsating jets of exposition, no matter how cool the backstory is. It's lazy.
Show, don't tell. More on this later, but that is all for now. Over and out.
Shuvom
I don't care how gritty your hero is, how 'rocking' your action set pieces are or how eeeeeevil your one-dimensional alien baddies can be until you STOP EXPOSITING ALL OVER MY FACE IN THE FIRST CHAPTER.
"But I'm trying to set the scene!" this horrible author I just made up says. Yes, some exposition is needed. But we don't need to drown in it. We shouldn't even need a towel to wipe our face afterwards. Here's an example:
"Dirk McTuff gazed up at the millions of stars in the night sky, each blazing like the campfire at his feet. Somewhere up there, he knew, the BabyKiller Fleet was waiting for him. To make his first mistake."
Okay, that's a good first paragraph. It sets the scene; we know a little about the conflict in the main character's head. But unfortunately, in the 'published' military sci-fi books I've tried to read this week, that first paragraph is usually followed by this:
"The weight of his command was so heavy it hurt, and Dirk was not a man who liked to hurt. He was tough and resourceful, with a square jaw and dark black hair and had been in command of the fleet for 5 years, starting from a lowly Ion Cannon scrubber and working his way up to Captain. It had been tough, but he had done it, using the grit he had learned growing up on the mean streets of Gamma, the capital planet of the Human alliance.
Sitting next to him, the tall, willowy, big breasted Clara knew that Dirk was not a man who liked to hurt. She was smart and quick-witted without being sassy, and she knew Dirk was trying to hide his hurt with a clench of his square jaw and she loved him so much, it hurt her Vorpan heart.
Dirk knew Clara loved him, but he could not help but hurt her. He knew she was sexy and smart and quick-witted, but she was a Vorpan and he was a Gamman, and the Vorpans and Gammas had been enemies for the last fifteen Solar cycles, ever since the Fifth Booger War..."
AHHHHH!
STOP THAT! (And I couldn't even force myself to write as badly as some of the first chapters of 'mainstream' military sci-fi books with great reviews.)
You know what other genre has such lazy, runaway exposition to describe EVERYTHING the main characters are thinking without showing us through action?
Romance novels.
Cheesy ones with Fabio or his non-union equivalent on the cover.
Don't write bad romance novels pretending to be military sci-fi. Don't violate your readers' faces with pulsating jets of exposition, no matter how cool the backstory is. It's lazy.
Show, don't tell. More on this later, but that is all for now. Over and out.
Shuvom
