Indra Anderson's Blog

First of all, the above  is now the Project Feedwatch 25-26 map, which is an improvement over last week. But again, this was 24-25. 

I’m hopeful for 25-26, that it will continue increasing participants as time progresses,  and I’m heartened that passion for science and particularly US citizen science is still alive, to the point people will spend money to do it and time to make it happen, even as the current US administration is hell for leather* in the process of flushing professional science (a major economic driver for over a century) – and the Americans’ economy, health, and safety – down the drain. 

And speaking of  US health, safety and the economy, I just want to point out that Republicans are committing a crime against humanity, against their own voters and the American people. As part of  their “war on government,” by not funding SNAP, they are intentionally starving their own citizens. Which is really bananas, especially as SNAP is funded by American citizens’ taxes, and American taxpayers overwhelmingly support the SNAP program. 

Starving the working poor Americans, the elderly, the disabled, women and children on its own would be bad enough. Especially while giving huge  tax breaks to the unworking wealthy, able, men. But the reason why the GOP is doing this specifically makes it sooo much worse. Republicans want to make ACA healthcare unaffordable for Americans by denying tax credits to again, the tax paying American middle class and poor, so they can’t get basic health coverage to stay alive. 

So, let’s review here. 

Republicans are willing to “crime against humanity” murder by starvation of American citizens in order to try and force Democrats to sign off on letting Republicans commit “crime against humanity” murder of American citizens by denial of basic health care. 

Hands up if you think any of this is what a normal human being would do, let alone Christ or a Christian who claims to be following Him would do.

“The King of Heaven appeared on earth and lived among men, in His benevolence towards humanity.” Is what the text in the book says.

Years ago, the state of California – the citizens, by ballot initiative – created a law saying “No balanced budget passed by July 1, no salary for you State Representatives.” Once that passed, we had a balanced budget passed on time, every year. Unless the representatives feel the pain, they just don’t care. That was my takeaway. And I think that law should be created for Washington too. But even more severely since stakes are higher.

Americans should deny all Congressional representatives and the president any pay or healthcare or security or gym freebies or fundraisers or free meals or benefits of any kind or the ability to receive donations from anyone for any reason until said individual delivered a signed balanced budget or just a budget act – on time. 

I’d even go a bit further and say, if they miss the target date, they don’t get paid for the window between the date they missed and the date the act passed, because they didn’t do their job. And any health problems they had during that window? They need to cover those as “out of pocket.”

Perhaps a good chunk of why Republicans don’t pass this resolution/budget act  is simply because they don’t want Congress to function. It’s nice if they want to pretend that this is about SNAP or the ACA, but at the end of the day if Congress functions, the House has to sit, and the new Democratic representative from AZ will be sworn in, and she will sign on to the resolution that opens up the Epstein files. 

Even though the vast majority of the American people care about SNAP and the ACA existing and being funded, Individual 1 only cares about Individual 1. So that always has to be considered the highest and most important motivating factor in anything the GOP or the GOP conservative-led SCOTUS does. Which is why today SCOTUS told Individual 1 that SNAP benefits didn’t have to be paid, and that Individual 1 and his cadre could go on starving Americans. And committing crimes against humanity.

So, yes, you should expect the SCOTUS to rule that tariffs are something the POTUS can do anything the POTUS wants. Because the SCOTUS only cares about turning the POTUS into a king, not about democracy, the law, precedent, reality, fairness, honesty, or the American people. And, no, you shouldn’t be surprised by this. When you build a government system that relies on congressional representatives’ individual “ethics, norms, honor, integrity” instead of law, this is where you end up. 

The “we rely on ethics, norms, honor systems, personal integrity” way of thinking is a result of a hoary belief that “White Christian men will do the right thing.” But we all know they, all people, don’t. History has proven they don’t, over and over again. This is why we have laws and law-based democracy. We know individual people can’t make good decisions for all people as they just don’t have that all of society scope of understanding they need. We know people can’t be relied upon to do the right thing because it’s always the “right thing” to/for them.

 But if the courts are filled with judges who choose to ignore the law, in favor of their person “ethics, norms, honor systems, personal integrity” you end up, well, where America is today.  Where our Founders (White demi-Christian men) tried so hard to prevent us from ending up. For all the shade you can throw the Founders way, they understood how governments went bad, and why. They thought about protecting all people.  And crucially, they understood themselves to be deeply flawed mortals, who needed laws.  I’m not sure GOP leaders see themselves as anything but perfectly flawless kings. And to that I say, 

As did a lot of people across the country on elections night. People are waking up. Yep, they a-woke.

*In case you wondered, “hell for leather” is a phrase that turns up first in 1889. Rudyard Kipling. The story of the Gadsbys: A tale without a plot. And if you asked, “Hmm, I wonder if this relates to the later novel, The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald, 1925)?” My answer is, yes.

Cedar Waxwing by Laura Frazier, BirdSpotter 2018-19, 2nd place overall. Project FeederWatch. Feederwatch.org

People in the US seem to be having a difficult time figuring out the economy these days. Many scholars and experts seem to be waiting for government data that may never be coming out, or may be less accurate due to changes in collection methods or analysis methods when / if it does come out. My answer to that is backyard data. Data collection that doesn’t rely on government or its peculiar whims. For instance, you could look at charitable giving (the American Cancer Society, or the local Pet Assistance League. ) If donations are down and need is up, that might tell you people 9and pets) are not doing do well.

Here is the best snapshot data on the economy I’ve found so far. This data set goes back to 1989. So, through a series of wars, recessions, crashes, White Houses lead by one party or another. The economic entry point of participation is low $18. Plus maybe $20 a month in bird seed for 6 months (Nov 1at through April 15th), so, maybe $120. Let’s call it $150 all in. The data is actually pretty consistent for participation. When the economy goes bad, participation is down. When it’s good, it’s pretty stable. Here are registered (paid participants) for Nov 2024 -April 2025 mapped out.

Here are the registered (paid up) participants so far for Nov 2025 – April 2026

Now of course, more people may sign up (and pay $18) , before Nov 1st. And maybe more will join through April. But I think these two maps tell you a lot about the state of average Americans’ finances. If you can’t afford $20 a month for birdseed this year, you are not going to register for $18. And if $20 is a deal breaker amount in an average household, that tells you a lot about average Americans’ households. And what it tells you isn’t good.

Project FeederWatch is 35 years old. At least a two or three generations have participated in it. Birding is an across the political, economic, racial, religious and regional spectrum sort of hobby. Lots of people do it. And this is the easiest kind – Armchair birding. You and your hot cocoa, inside by the fire with the carols playing, watching the birds eating, outside in the snow. This is low bar for entry. So as data goes, I think it is helpful.

I think there’s lot of data like this available for people who really want to know about the state of the economy. But it does require one to think out side the box, or the feeder, to know where to find it. I’m going to add here that not having $18 or birdseed money, shouldn’t stop you looking outside and enjoying the birds. Trust me, they don’t just want a free meal. Even a bowl of clean water, is appreciated if you live somewhere dry or frozen over.

For people with no opportunity get out and about, I recommend watching the Project FeederWatcher webcam set up in Sapsucker Woods in Ithaca, NY. Always on, always amazing. You never know who will show up or what bird calls you’ll get to hear. https://www.allaboutbirds.org/cams/cornell-lab-feederwatch/ And it’s been proven that listening to birds releases all sorts of “Happy Brain” chemicals,” including oxytocin.

Birding is good for the brain, so even if you can’t do Project FeederWatch this year, there are lots of other ways to enjoy birding, and the benefits to brains, bodies and birds it creates! You can create a free ebird account, download the free app, and use Merlin (free app) to help you identify birds and add to all the citizen science going on around your country and the world. There are lots of citizen science projects going on you can get involved in. The Bird Academy has free courses. And Bird Wise has some free quizzes to help you sharpen your skills too. Local birding groups are everywhere. Libraries have birding guides, books and ebooks. There’s even birding on TikTok if that’s your thing.

One can join Project Feederwatch at any time, so until we reach April, we won’t have the full data set for what’s happening this season, but I suggest you get out there and start birding anyway. You don’t need to give up learning or contributing or enjoying the world around you just because you don’t have the dosh this year. You also don’t have to miss out on the many benefits of birding, for yourself or the birds. Let’s face it, the original G-rated, positive for humanity, twitter-ers are still out there tweeting every day (and at night too!). Take a beat this week and find out what these avian experts have to say about living La Bella Vita. You’ll be glad you did.

I’m not telling you what kind of bird this is, but, you know… Google Lens if you need to!

Where fires are currently burning. red= out of control, yellow = being held (at the line for now), green is under control (not out).

Life is full of little ironies. I thought leaving So. Cal. for a wetter climate would mean no more ghastly 100+ degree summers or dealing with wildfires. But, Life had other plans, and Climate Change knows does not recognize internationally boundaries. I thought the switch over to the new computer system would make life easier. But fixing what’s wrong with the new system has become a full-time job, in addition to my full-time job- wheee! Needless to say, I’m indoors a lot these days, and in my downtime, I turn to comfort TV (ie, professional cycling grand tours) and audiobooks (mostly about nature, science, or remarkable women – note, we are all remarkable!).

I like the grand tours because I can cycle along with them, which is good exercise. Or, I can just watch the scenery, as though I’m on a train, and make notes of place the SO and I should visit next time we head to Europe. The pets like the grand tours too. Bob Roll, aka Bobke, a former bike racer and one of the announcers, is everyone’s favorite. When they hear Bob’s voice, everyone chills out and flops in front of the tv. I can’t really say what about his voice makes them so chill, but the only other time I see this happen is when I zoom into a White Tara practice and join my fellow Bu’s across the globe for a hour of mediation.

Although the Tour de France is my favorite race, I do watch the Vuelta Espana (Tour of Spain), pretty often. This year has been one of the years I’m watching. It’s mostly in the north of Spain, and Tadej Pogacar isn’t in this race, which, depending on how you view Tadej, can be a good or bad thing. Tadej would win, if he was in it. He’s the best. Jonas Vingegaard is always the bridesmaid, but since Tadej isn’t in the Vuelta no one has any expectation that anyone but Jonas will win. You might think that would make the race boring but, oh no, plenty of drama at the Vuelta. I think because it’s the last grand tour of the season, after which many riders change teams or end contracts, so all sorts of fireworks can happen.

The only thing missing is a bottle of Rioja and some glasses.

Honestly, I don’t watch for the drama, but this year there’s been a lot of drama. There have been dramatic stage wins by unexpected almost unknown riders (in this case a cancer survivor!) – who then suddenly become the race leaders (for a few days anyway). There have been wild 100k breakaways by riders who are looking to sign a better contract perhaps so must prove their worth to any new potential teams that are shopping. There have been dramatic wins by known riders (Juan Ayuso) – who are theoretically at the race to support the team leader, but are leaving their teams and decided to chuck over their current team basically to ride only for themselves. And all of that I don’t mind.

Unfortunately this year, there have also been political shenanigans. Political protests happen on grand tours now and then. Some years ago in France, when the govt there was imposing new laws on the agricultural sector, the farmers staged some protests. I want to be clear though, these protests didn’t stop the race or interfere with it or the riders. And I’m not against that type of protest. I also understand that political protest at sporting events is kind of a tradition in Europe. Emily Wilding Davison, a suffragette, died after jumping onto the track to protest and was struck by the king’s horse running in the Epsom Derby in 1913. Women got the vote 15 years and a world war later in 1928. Did Emily’s sacrifice help? I don’t know.

This year, the race is being shown on Peacock an NBC network. Admittedly it’s been next level bizarre watching the US version of the race. The commentators are apparently not allowed to say the words Palestine, Israel, or Gaza. They are not allowed to say anything about the conflict. And this attempt at de-pollicization of the race, I understand, but they are in Spain, which recognized Palestine as a country last year. Each stage of the race is littered with Palestinian national flags large and small. And, riders have been subjected to harassment, intimidation and even assault/attempted murder.

Flags are normally flow, if related to a rider’s home. This? Not so much.

Random riders have a) run into those enormous banners (race interference), b) been sabotaged (team Israel Premier Tech) by protesters stringing a rope across the raceway during a time trial to knock them off their bikes as they were going 50mph (which could have lead to death or permanent injury), c) had kilometers of a stage finish suddenly cut short (Bilbao) because protesters would not clear the streets, trashing what would have been a thrilling finish, and d) been subject to intimidation and antisemitism via the road signs on the pavement (which typically say things like “viva Almeida” to encourage riders but instead say “boikot Israel” “stop genocide” etc).

None of this gets talked about by the US race commentators, which I guess is a telling. It’s how the US media has decided to handle anything to do with the word “Israel.” Just don’t. I want to be clear hear, as far as I know, there are no Palestinian riders and no Israeli riders in the Vuelta – not even on the team called Israel Premier Tech, which is owned by an Israeli Canadian billionaire who is very vocal about his “pro Netanyahu and the policies thereof” views. The whole idea of using the Vuelta to either “stick-it” to the billionaire or draw attention to the ongoing conflict between Israel and Hamas/Gaza, while understandable, is really quite naff. It’s just hurting cyclists and Spain’s image.

Which is not to say that pro-cyclists aren’t a bit of a issue as well. Apparently, some of the cyclists have said they want Israel Premier Tech’s entire team (8 men) to withdraw from the race (they cannot be dismissed from the race by the organizers), for the safety of all the other riders (about 150 men). I don’t think this is antisemitism, as some people do. I personally have a limit for the definition of antisemitism, unlike the US or Israel. I don’t have a problem with anyone who says @ America and burns my flag, so I don’t have a problem if anyone says @ “name a country” and burns their flag. I don’t think such behavior or messaging does anything helpful, it’s anti-American, or anti-whatever-land, but it’s 1st Amendment free speech.

I wouldn’t do it, but it’s your right if you want to do it.

However, asking the self-styled Israel Premier Tech team to withdraw, because Spain is unwilling to make it’s citizens & visitors obey the law and not assault, intimidate or harass professional athletes from 50 different nations, who are just doing their job (ie, pedaling a bike up a hill), is crazy wrong even if it’s not antisemitism. That the team is being treated this way because it has the word Israel in its name, and so has become a focus of a few malicious pro-Palestinian actors (I’m sure most protestors just want to make the world see and remember innocent Palestinians and their suffering), is the definition of anti-national (in this case the nation is Israel) behavior. But the answer is not for fellow professional cyclists to ask that team to withdraw, but to ask for Spain to enforce its own laws and protect them.

The other player here is the UCI. If you want to stick a nation’s name on a cycling team, save it for the Olympics. Otherwise, there’s lots of names out there. There should be rules about what teams can be named. Currently there 4 politically named teams in the Vuelta. Team Bahrain Victorious, UAE Team Emirates XRG, Team Astana (capital of Kazakhstan), and Israel Premier Tech. To be honest, I think the best solution here is to order all teams to strike any reference to any nation or capital of a nation. It’s just needlessly politicizing the sport. The commentators have been referring to Israel Premier Tech as just Premier Tech since the start of the Vuelta. They just dropped the word Israel all together. Banning the use of names of nations and their capitals ensures that cycling stays out of global political morasses.

Israel Premier Tech is not currently one of the UCI’s 18 world teams. It’s a UCI ProTeam, the second tier level. UCI ProTeams have to be invited to world tours as wildcards. If the team is not promoted, I suspect it won’t be invited as a wild card team next year. A lot of factors go into deciding who gets to be a World Team for the next 3 years. The UCI has to think about funding and the future of cycling. Too, the UCI wants professional cycling events to keep cycling centerstage. If a team is drawing a crowd that’s making it about something else, that’s disrupting cycling events, that causing risk to riders and disappointment to fans, it’s not worthwhile to have that team on their roster. And that’s sad, but that’s the economics of a professional sport in a capitalist world.

L’Angliru 12.5K all up hill. Good luck with that.

Well, the race stage of the Vuelta has ended for the day. I haven’t seen it yet. I’m going to watch the replay now, and pedal on my bike, while eating fresh baked brownies (so I’m net neutral on calories). In some respects, it’s definitely cycling while home burns. But life is meant to be lived, even in the times when things are burning down all around you. That too, is one of life’s little ironies. Eventually, the rains come, the fires go out, the smoke clears, and you rise from the ashes – which is much easier to do when you’re cycling fit, full of carbs, and have passed beyond L’Angliru.

One long hot summer weekend, when I was teenager, before I could drive, a friend, Lihn, who was a bit older offered to take a group of us to the beach. This was time before teens driving other teens was considered problematic. I was staying with my grandparents, and while my Gran was okay this, my Grandfather was was not. At least, he said “Ok” only on condition the driver pick me up at my house. I assumed he wanted to know the car was in good condition and see if there were any boys in the car. It was and there were not – they had gone in a separate car and planned to meet us. The car arrived, boy-free, my grandfather nodded, and off I went.

The beach was glorious. Cool blue water, soft sands, laughter, fun, games, a sunset of vivid reds, golds, pink and peach. It would have been nice to be able to stay till dark, but we were to be home before sunset (around 8:30ish). So we dutifully packed up our borrowed cars at 7:30ish to start the trek back. Sadly, Lihn’s car battery decided to die. It may have had something to do with the heat, or leaving the radio on and the trunk with the coolers open so the little light was on. I’m not a car person, so I really don’t know.

What I do know is that it took a while to find someone give the battery a jump start. In those days, cell phones were not ubiquitous accoutrements of young teens. The beach was a long walk to the nearest phone on a dark deserted road. So talking to strangers, which I still posit is less bad than talking to ChatGPT, was the only way to find help. In a way it was nice, to get some extra time to see the stars come out. But I dreaded going home to explain what had happened. It would sound cliché. The car battery died. Fortunately, when we pulled into my drive, and stopped the car to unpack it, the batter again failed. My grandfather tested the battery and it was well and truly very dead.

Batteries love a dramatic pause.

My grandfather gave Lihn’s car yet another jumpstart and sent my friends on their way, with a warning to her never to stop it anywhere till she got home. And so, no fuss was made of my late arrival. The next day, Gran took me to Mass and the Catholic shop afterwards to get me a St Christopher medal (Patron St of Travellers). The following day, my grandfather took me to the tiny AAA building in the center of town and bought me a family membership. Every year, as long as he lived, my grandfather would send me a birthday card and write “AAA membership included.” It became a sort of running family joke but also a bond of affection between my grandfather and I. To this day, I still have both the AAA membership and the St Christopher medal hanging from my rearview mirror.

I lost Gran’s medal last week. The cord broke and it fell on the car floor. I searched for a few days to no avail. Finally I thought, “Well, it’s still with me, Gran. I just can’t see it. As long as I have the car, I’ll have it.” The SO searched my care as well, because you know, as a woman I might have been “searching it wrongly.” (Can you hear my eyes rolling?) He too was defeated by St Christopher. I gave up the search for a few days, then on Wednesday I prayed really hard, and gave it another go and bingo! There it was, easily found in a place we’d search multiple times. St Christopher, such a scamp! He’s back on my mirror now.

I renewed my AAA last month, so both my grandfather is also still with me. And the friend who drove me to the beach that day? Lihn, she became an auto adjuster with AAA right out of college. It’s funny life is. Early in her career, she volunteered to be part of the Hurricane Katrina Disaster Recovery claims team. She lived in hotel for 3 months, doing nothing but claims. She said she often felt guilty, that she had a place to return, with light and food and clean water, and most of the people she dealt with had nothing. She never did another trip like that. I think emotionally it took a toll on her. It’s difficult to be yelled at day after day by stressed out people, who have every right to be stressed out. It’s hard to see people that have suffered so much, and are still suffering, and to feel like whatever you do will never be enough.

You can help everyone, but you can help someone.

All that aside, Lihn has always liked AAA. Her plan was always to make her whole life’s career there. They don’t pay as well as other similar insurance companies, but they have things that make up for it like a pension plan and a desire to see everyone move forward in career development. They care about their customers and about their employees. During the Pandemic, AAA didn’t let anyone go. They paid every employee their full salary – even if they couldn’t do their job because the job could not be done while maintaining proper social distancing (like driving instructors) They pivoted to WFH. They did everything they could to keep everyone work. And despite the challenges, they came out of the pandemic in pretty good shape.

Under the previous administration, AAA was rebounding. AAA has really good financial wizards who keep the company on a stable footing. People like Lihn continued to get annual raises. Every AAA newsletter that went out painted a rosy picture of a bright future and fiscal soundness. Yet, despite all that, I wasn’t really surprised when, as I was re-hanging St Christopher, Lihn she called me to tell me that her manager had announced to everyone that next month there would be a AAA meeting and they would be giving people new job titles (nothing was said about new duties) and at the same time, there would be pay reductions.

To me, it was inevitable given the destruction of the economy and the tarriffs that make any sort of car part replacement 1000% more expensive now than 6 months go. To Lihn it was surprising. Some of her coworkers already decided to quit or retire or early retire as a result. She’s not sure what she’d do. Maybe wait and see what actually happens at the meeting before doing anything rash. But, she was upset. AAA was a big part of her life. Honestly it’s a big part of America’s life. This great American company, a part of so many American lives, so many generations. To see this fiscally responsible company that cares about it’s employees, now, after 123 years – through a Great Depression, two world wars, a Great Recession, a Global Pandemic and 21 presidents – consider it’s only means of cost savings and survival cutting its employee’s pay? At a time when prices are going up for those employees? Wow.

“Heavens, where is my automobile? Jeeves, call AAA.” Ila Parkhurst, 1902

Knowing my friend voted for the current administration, I asked her why she thought AAA was taking this extraordinary measure. I was interested to hear what she would say. She said “corporate greed.” It was really the only frame she could put around the picture, and keep her worldview going. But it was unsettling to her say that, given the company’s storied history and her long association with it. In her mind, I guess, it couldn’t be that the person she voted for caused this. She couldn’t accept that she had basically done this, to herself. So what else could she think.

Up until a month or two ago, Lihn told they had many job openings, that they were trying to hire more people because they had so much work. Now AAA can’t even afford to pay their devoted but overworked people the do have. That’s a big shift. For me, AAA’s decision reflects a typical American company’s genuine struggle to come to grips with what I can only describe as an intentionally train-wrecked US and global economy and no foreseeable light on the horizon. I think AAA is doing the best it can with what it’s got given the situation.

As for myself, I wonder if I’ll have to make a big shift. Will I be able to afford another year of my grandfather’s AAA? Price hikes on customers can’t be far behind. I don’t need AAA for the amount of time I’m on the road. But I’d miss them. I’d miss my AAA family, those who have been there for me many a time. That flat battery in my drive, but you still got me to work on time. That flat tire in the snowy mountains, and you not only changed my tire, but guided me to a cafe and left me with a hot chocolate to warm up. The year I volunteered to work for the US Census, and ended up locking my keys in my car multiple times (3x in one very bad week)!

As, it turned out, I learned many years later, that my grandfather wanted Lihn to pick me up at the house so he could see the car. So he could write down the license plate, the color, make and model of the car. Just in case he needed the police to go out and search for me/us. When I call AAA, they always say “Are you somewhere safe?” And I think of my grandfather, and that day, and his great care for me. It’d be hard to let go of that, of that last piece of him. But I guess, I can keep my last AAA card with me. The way I keep his last AAA card with his name embossed on it in raised blue letters in my glove box. You know, because when you reach in there, you’re usually in trouble. His card reminds me, there’s still someone watching out for me, and not just on the long weekends.

Thanks for the memories, AAA!

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Sometimes things get lost in the shuffle, because that’s the point of shuffling, to get things lost and thrown into disorder. The best shufflers do so in a skilled and entertaining manner, but make no mistake, they are there to play. Because people these days are easily bedazzled by spectacles and prone to high emotion, I feel the need to do a quick sort here to try and get thing back in order and restore some calm to your play.

Weak leaders surround their capitals with troops because they are afraid their own supporters will yank them out of their office and kill them for things like, you know, not showing them legal files or raising their taxes via tariffs or just generally being exposed for having no clothes. They don’t do it because they care about crime. It’s not about intimidating you. It’s about them being afraid because they know they are weak and their supporters have cottoned on to them. 

Impoverished leaders dress their office up in gold, usually fake gold, to hide their poverty. People who are actually rich, know they are rich and don’t need to make statements through shiny objects. A leader in obvious decline when they need everything around them to sparkle like Vegas showgirl or a Pharaoh of Egypt. People short of money surround themselves with gold to keep up the pretense they are personally rich or successful. A time sequence of photos of a leader’s office from the moment they take office can be informative.

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Insecure leaders surround themselves with yes men to hide their intellectual poverty. Secure leaders surround themselves with experts who challenge them. They want their administration making sound decisions and understand they aren’t the best person to fill every possible position. The head of one’s national theatre should not also be simultaneously the head of one’s state. Otherwise, the message conveyed to the world is “My administration is all theater.” 

Delusional leaders who can’t face reality remove people who present them with statistics or historical facts based in reality. Rational people aren’t afraid of facts or reality. They can grasp complexity and nuance. Delusional people have to restrict their world to only what they can cope with personally. Usually their world is very, very tiny and they have hissy fits when anyone tries to make it a bit larger because, you know, they might not still be the center 100% of the time.

Immoral leaders try to prove themselves otherwise by trying to force morality on everyone else. People who truly care about morality, are interested in their own soul, in living up to their own god’s/deities/ethical standards. They understand everyone has a path to walk, and God is there with them on their path. Immoral people don’t want to look at their own life, for obvious reasons, so they focus on controlling others. See, the Eye Mote Case of 30CE – Log v Beam.

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Cowardly leaders remove heroes from their offices. Whenever organizations are purged of people for anything other than a person individually doing a poor job, it’s generally because those people are heroes, and the cowards can’t stand to be around them. Heroes face challenges, cowards spend a lot of time hiding behind others to avoid challenges they know they aren’t up to. Of course when you remove all the heroes, then you only have other cowards to hide behind. And sticking your fingers in your ears, closing your eyes and chanting lalala, doesn’t make your scary problem go away.

Incompetent leaders move from one thing to another in rapid succession declaring fatuously that they will easily succeed but always end up failing spectacularly. They move from big thing to big thing hoping people won’t notice the bigness, and not their smallness. Not that they fail abysmally at every task. They make a lot of promises, but never deliver. Incompetents just want that next “hit” of public adulation that will keep their fragile ego in tact another few hours. Competent leaders accomplish things, slowly, and fewer things, but they make important and lasting changes. 

I could go on, but you get the picture.  I hear a lot of reporting. It’s always from a certain angle these day. It’s always people saying: “They are trying to intimidate us.”  Nope. Sorry. Wrong! It’s the opposite of that. The truth is “they” are scared out of their minds. It’s not about you at all. In fact, it was never about you. You barely enter their minds. It’s always about them. It’s the only thing they ever think about  – 24/7. Even at 2 am, when you are tucked up in your bed sleeping the sleep of the just, they are on their gold-plated commodes texting about their greatness because they feel so insignificant. 

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Whenever you think what’s going on is about you, remind yourself that 99% of the time it’s the opposite of that. It’s much easier to deal with dotards and fopdoodles once you do. That’s all. You may now push Play on the media of your choosing. And shuffle if you so desire.

IT is not happy.

Last week at my company we hired a new IT manager. Davina’s been helping us upgrade our security, which was, um,  “business casual”? For instance, we don’t get a lot of visitors, and they are always escorted, so many people never locked their computers when they pop off for a break or a meeting. Reasonably, IT requested people now lock their stations anytime they walk away from their desk, no matter how short a time they plan to be gone. 

This was not unreasonable and I complied. Many have not. Davina responded. Anytime she or a team member sees a unlocked station without a person, they jump on that person’s Teams and send a random person in the company a message from that station, saying what a great job IT is doing. That playful but targeted approach has helped improve our security and created a fun game of cat and mouse. Good security doesn’t have to create a bad experience, but plenty of security people are either not good at security or not good with people.

This week we’re getting a new computer software system, or at least starting the transition to the new system. It’s not a security upgrade. It’s just that the old system was clunky to use. It was also costly, didn’t have any free training or support, and was managed by an EU firm that spoke primarily French. Our company decided they’d rather deal with (bilingual Fr/Eng) Canadians and Canadian software I’ll call “Goliath.” We negotiated a good deal, from what I understand, so there will be savings. The new software has features that might be more helpful long term. But there are downsides.

Have an analog day.

One downside? No one at our company has ever used Goliath before, so we’re all starting from scratch. There’s going to be a steep learning curve, which could slow down everything we do. Another potential downside? If this doesn’t work out, we have to go back to the other software. And a final downside? Failure means person who pushed for this transition might get that axe. Success might mean others get the axe. I’m a neutral party in all this. I learned to use what I’ll call “Clunky” last year, so I’ll learn to use Goliath too. I use the software every day, so it’s not optional to learn. I’m also part of the integration team. I’ve had a meeting with the new company, and followed up with a question-laden email. 

Other companies use Goliath. I only know of one company that made the switch and then switched back to Clunky. I think my major concern is “bird v birdseed.” A 3rd party company rep, “Solo,” sat in on the meeting last week, which I found weird. And when we asked if Goliath could create a certain feature. Solo man said, “Yes, we could provide that as an extra feature” Which I took to mean “You will pay Solo for that.” And my reaction to that was, “So, Goliath lied to us about its capabilities and is literally giving our data to Solo?” I mentioned it to my boss but that didn’t seem to be an issue, so I’m “letting it go.”

My other big concern is that they don’t seem to know what they’re doing and don’t seem transparent. I’m okay with answers like I don’t know, or I never thought about that, or we don’t have that capability right now. I’m not okay with “we are customer centered and can meet any challenges.” Really? Tell me about one of those challenges you met? And put me in touch with a customer who had one of those challenges. Prove it to me. Prove you know your product and come prepared to back up every one of your claims. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. But it seems like lately people are way more into sales and selling than understanding their product or putting thought into that product or what a customer needs from their product. It’s a “change (manipulate) the customer, not change the product” mentality.

Mirror Lake, Yosemite.

A couple of weeks ago, I received an email about a Buddhist retreat on the theme of Digital Fatigue. My reaction was, “Just turn off your phone.” However, I was intrigued by the promise of “a transformative weekend retreat and reset your relationship with technology.” Then I read the following sentences: “This course includes four live online teachings with guided practice and Q&A with [I’ve redacted out of respect] on Saturday, May 17, and Sunday, May 18. Plus, join the online community for reflection and breakout groups at the end of each day.” How is this a digital retreat and reset if it’s all literally happening online, digitally? It’s this kind of sales approach that makes me lose respect for a company and a product.

Needless to say, I did not attend. However, we did decide to turn off computers and phones for the entire weekend. We’re doing that a lot more now. Locking and walking away. The digital world is simply uninteresting and, frankly, way too annoying. It’s heavily algorithm-ed, AI-influenced to be the world’s neediest salesman, or worse, the world neediest drug pusher. It needs you to need whatever “it” tells you that you need to be h”app-y”. Social media is basically a fake, dead world telling lies to itself. It tries to sell you ideas or things that will actively harm you or tries to get you to harm others. Walking away is the best option.

I’m not against technology or science, but good science and tech is not what I see from the people creating things like AI. In essence, AI is a few men are spending billions of dollars (tax dollars) and tons of planetary resources – land, water, etc (that belong to everyone) – to create what is essentially a largely defective, lying version of a white, male, antiquated worldview (because of the historical information AI was trained on, is from a white male culture that didn’t allow women and minorities to contribute for thousands of years) brain stuffed with generally stolen information. Think about it, wouldn’t all that money and all those resources be better spent/used improving ALL actually living human brains, with human education, human healthcare, on a human-tended greener and thriving human-sustainable planet? 

I can’t have a school teacher, books or lunch because billionaires need my parent’s tax money.

Many decades ago Republicans used the phrase “death panels” to instill fear in the hearts of American voters over the US having perfectly normal universal healthcare that other modern western democracies had. The pitch was “vote GOP or your healthcare would be decided not by you and your doctor but by a death panel” composed of humans who only cared about the bottomline. I’m going to lay aside the human-run red state govts that have become GOP-death panels for women seeking ob/gyn care, and point out that now, universally, US healthcare approvals are decided by AI. 

Theoretically these AIs are overseen by humans, but realistically, they aren’t. So, Americans have as standard AI-run death panels within commercial healthcare companies. AI which the new GOP bloated budget busting bill says shouldn’t even be regulated for 10 years. And Americans tend to forget that AI isn’t tasked with pro-social tasks such as “What is the best way to make John well?” Or “What is the best way to care for someone in this condition, that will lead to full recovery?” because America doesn’t have a care-based system.

American AI is programmed for “efficiency”, ie, to figure out how to spend the minimum X$ on Y’s care, to keep Y alive, so that maximum X$$$ can be extracted from Y. You are not even a person in this scenario, you’re a billable account. So if X$$ has to be spent to keep Y alive, but only X$ is the ROI, it’s inefficient to keep Y enrolled – or alive. AI is a reflection of the people who create it and program it, and a reflection of the people who let them into their data systems. If those people are unethical, greedy, racist, whatever, that’s what their AI looks like and acts like.  

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, … seriously, break the mirror, get some friends, and grow the heck up.

I’m not sure how other countries or cultures program their AI. But I’d assume that AI in pro-social Denmark or China is probably significantly different than pro-profit US-created AI. I’d certainly like to learn more about their AI. US AI is more like DAI – Depraved AI. AI for the good of humanity is the sales pitch, but that’s not the product Americans are getting. Kind of the way bitcoins makes corruption and crime (inc. now crypto kidnappings) easier even though they are marketed to people as 100% traceable and therefore more honest.

In the US, it’s best to ask about a technology, “Does it make America a safer, more peaceful, more stable, more sustainable, more just or equitable place or does it just give certain men in America more money and power?” That’s a fact-based genuine question. AI is a reflection of its creators. You have creators that want to “dominate” the world, that have written this world off and want to go to Mars. You have creators who are into fascism, eugenics, drugs, pronatalism, racism, etc. American AI is built on theft, it lies 20%-100% of the time, and it regularly tries to incite people to self-harm, hatred and violence. If AI were a human, it would be in jail or a mental institution already. At a minimum, it should be regulated and its use restricted.

AI can do some helpful things, in limited applications, when ethically and humanly directed. But AI is not the answer to every question, or even 99% of questions. It doesn’t automate tasks, that’s a misconception. It dehumanizes them. If you have to choose between a cup of water to sustain yourself, or to sustain AI. You would choose yourself. AI would not. AI is like a miracle pill. It’s that thing you want to believe will work, so you don’t have to change anything and can continue to live exactly as you do. The truth is, humanity has to change the way it lives. But no one likes to hear that. People who pitch AI as a solution know people don’t want to change, that people are willing to self-delude and throw money at them rather than change. It’s what people do about climate change. They pledge more money. They don’t change. The climate continues to degrade but they feel better (self-righteous), like they did something.

Republicans used to ask during presidential elections, “Are you better off than you were 4 years ago?” I suppose if this question were posed to AI the answer would be “Things are much better.” Because the GOP is pro-unrestrained and overfunding AI with tax dollars. But the people who vote and pay taxes see the answer quite differently. Americans ask, “Am I better off than I was 4 months ago?” And the answer is no, and I sympathize with them.

You can’t trust that the air or water is clean in the US. You can’t eat the food, which isn’t inspected for salmonella or listeria. You can’t drink the milk, which isn’t inspected. My guess is no one is going to inspect slaughter houses, so all the meat in the US? I wouldn’t suggest you eat that even if you cook it well done. If you get sick, good luck getting the treatment you need which is likely banned, AI-denied, or just unavailable in your area.

You can’t fly safely in the US. You can’t travel safely to or within the US without fear you’ll end up renditioned to torture center in some other country. Good bye tourism. FIFA 2026 plans? Book for Canada and Mexico games. You can’t study in the US as basic human rights, Constitutional rights, academic freedom and scientific facts are under threat. I hear Taiwan has empty university campuses, maybe US higher education and its teachers could off-shore Taiwan. Taiwan has good research facilities too, so maybe academic science can move as well.

I guess it’s one way to get people to pray before eating.

You have no NOAA weather science team tracking storms to warn you to save your life. You have no FEMA to help you when disaster strikes. You have no way to know about outbreaks of disease as CDC no longer tracks or reports. You couldn’t get vaccinated against them even if you knew. Education, the Arts and Scientific research are all being destroyed, even though they are all major drivers of innovation and the economy.

You have an openly corrupt leader illegally accepting all kinds of bribes paired with leadership and courts of “justice” that are actively setting up a dual state and destroying the US Constitution and Bill of Rights. And this doesn’t even scratch the surface of job loss, economic dumpster fires caused by tariffs, or loss of geopolitical influence due to petulant demands for instant deals or the destruction of the deep bench of US state department professionals and humanitarian programs and agencies that worked for positive change.  

Not only are Americans way worse off in just 4 months but thanks to the GOP’s leadership and governance, Americans are well on their way to becoming the  “dirty, disease-ridden, low IQ, dangerous criminals” that the GOP railed about keeping out of the US. Irony much? The only silver lining is that many other countries have now seen the vast danger of far-right nationalism to a democracy, and voted not to take that road to ruin. So in a way, the US has still saved some democracies for millions of people in the world, even as the new administration has illegally cut off Congressionally approved aid, such as USAID, leading to the death of 300,000 people so far. 

It’s Fruit of the poisonous tree? 

And speaking of roads to ruin. I’ve recently heard a lot about Joe Biden and Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson’s new book: Original Sin: President Biden’s Decline, Its Cover-Up, and His Disastrous Choice to Run Again. Often by the authors on their booktours. My reaction to everything they say is, “Are Americans better off than they were 4 months ago, under Biden’s administration?” You can’t seriously look me in the eyes and say yes. 

Biden surrounded himself with incredible, dedicated professionals and top of class scientists, leaders, and thinkers. He chose ethical people, qualified people of integrity to run the departments and institutions that made the US world renown, resilient and innovative. The US economy and its recovery was the envy of the world. And that’s what great leaders do, surround themselves with great people. Because the government isn’t one person, the president, it’s all of the people working for and on behalf of the people.

This stands in stark contrast to the current party in office, who believes in centralized power built around a single person who watches “Escape from Alcatraz” one evening and decides to reopen Alcatraz by tweet the next morning (true story). I won’t even bother to comment on the uniquely unqualified individuals that make up the “leadership” at this point or who they work on behalf of. As for guardrails? Biden’s administration had multiple layers of them. The current administration has none and rips down anything that even looks like a guardrail no matter the cost to the American people or the country’s peace and security.

I respect the authors, but you’ve missed the point of American government and how it should operate if you think Biden’s decline while in office was the big-picture problem here. As for the cover up? We all have eyes. If you were shocked by the debate, you weren’t paying attention for the four years before it. As for “his disastrous choice to run again”? Even had Biden stepped down and Harris stepped up to be president in the last year before the election, many Americans were pretty far down the misinformation rabbit hole (Ukraine, immigration, DEI) and things that were a problem policy wise (Israel, health care) and in the economy with large blocks of voters, that addressing might have helped, Harris actively avoided addressing or dismissed as trivial.

And speaking of things people aren’t willing to address, the tragic murder of the young interfaith-international couple in DC who worked at the Israeli embassy comes to mind. I’m going to be honest here, in cases such as this, my first thought is never, “this is antisemitism.” It’s always, “The US has a large number of young men who fall down ideological rabbit holes, and this coupled with a ‘pro gun, shooting people solves problems’ culture, leads to the murder of innocent people with frightening regularity.” 

Consider the 27-yr-old Jewish American man who in 2023 shot a Jewish Israeli man and his son in Miami Beach, Florida because the Jewish American man thought the Jewish Israeli man and his son were Palestinians. And being an American young man, shooting a man and his son – that he didn’t know, and who was doing nothing wrong – because he thought they were a faith or group he personally hated, was clearly felt to be culturally appropriate for young men with guns in America. 

Holes are for rabbits only, please.

I think a person named Rodriguez is likely to be Roman Catholic, not Muslim or Palestinian. And, like so many men between the ages of 15 – 55, he fell down an ideological rabbit hole, and decided – as an American – that buying a gun and killing people was the answer. That Rodriguez’s rabbit hole was “killing Jewish people solves this problem” isn’t really surprising given the algorithms and AI have no security measures and are designed to keep people (young men) engaged by continually moving them toward the worst possible, most violent, most anti-social (anti-Jewish, anti-women, anti-LGBTQ+, anti-…..) rhetoric. 

Some people might call the DC shooting outcome antisemitism or political violence. That’s fine. To me it was typical garden-variety single young American male with untreated mental illness, and unlimited social media and gun access.There should have been a discussion by the news media about rampant US gun violence by white young males. There typically is, but not this time. There should have been a discussion about better security on the use of these tools and platforms, but not this time. There should have been a discussion about lack of robust mental health care as a backstop, but not this time.

 All 3, the murder victims and their killer, wanted to help people in conflict in the middle east. Two people were dedicating their lives to that. Single young white American male, bought a gun and killed them. But the media just whiffed the story. “Too bad, so sad” young white male Christian American killed a Christian man and an American woman. None of the usual weeks of coverage of every aspect. Is it because so much is going on in the world, it doesn’t rate? Because the mentally ill, single, white, young, male shooter is an accepted role model in America now? Because AI decided this story shouldn’t top the newspaper headlines and should disappear? I dunno. 

This was evangelical Christianity only 15 yrs ago.

I think the SO has the right idea. His phone is off. And his laptop stowed away in his office. He is reading a book (actually printed on paper), having a nice cup of tea, and periodically looking out the window at the rainy day we’re having. The pets are lolling around, having had their walks and outings, but always hopeful of treats or ball tosses or lap time or string chases. 

I think I shall shut down for now. I have Clunky to think about and Goliath. You may not hear from me for many moons. Fingers crossed, with Davina’s help my Goliath week turns out more like Davey’s than David’s. But if not, rest assured I have the faith to face it, armed not with stones and slings, but with wisdom and compassion. And we shall overcome. Some day.

Appearing one day only, catch me if you can!

Friday the Easter Bunny came to our office and handed out eggs and gifts. It’s that kind of office. We celebrate things, because what’s life without celebrating? And in Spring, life returning in abundance is a reason to celebrate. I did not win a golden egg – not really gold, but there were prizes to exchange them for if you selected one. But I picked a chocolate egg, so even better. 

Later, in the break room, one of my Catholic coworkers from Latin America said she didn’t understand what rabbits and eggs had to do with Easter. I was surprised by that. She said she believed in the Resurrection and was grateful every day for Jesus. But Easter as a holiday with trappings was strange to her. Easter was a purely religious holiday, in her eyes. One that doesn’t even merit a special lunch with family, apparently. Then she mentioned she’d gone to a convent school, which she had loved. Then it all made more sense.  

On the flip side, a Jewish Moroccan friend invited me to a big Mimouna do at her home Sunday night. She said they have a big party to celebrate the end of Passover. They invite everyone and eat lots of yeasty carbs with non-Jewish friends and neighbors. In a way, it’s a re-entry into the wider life of the community after being excluded by observing the required food prohibitions and being being unable to eat certain things during Passover. 

My “I mean serious celebratory business” Spring Green kaftan.

I like Moroccan food. The SO and I are doing an Easter Sunday brunch that day with some friends, but we have Easter Monday off so, count us in. We like to double down on the joy when we can. Plus my friend’s husband is Polish, and a great baker. Poppy seed rolls! On his side of the family they have a custom of putting out trays of water and dancing through them or hopping over them, to emulate the walk through the parted seas. So that sounds fun. I was told to bring bright blue scarves to wave, wear a colorful silk kaftan, if I had one (you know I do!), and make sure I could balance a tray on my head(?!).

Also at work this week I ran into a fellow American coworker and we had a little fika. He is an Iranian Muslim. I asked him if he’d ever lived in Southern California, because there’s a very large Iranian diaspora community there. He said yes, he’d worked there for a few years and met his Canadian wife there. But he had actually grown up in Utah. “What was that like?” I asked. “Very Mormon,” he replied. “Very nice people. But they were always trying to convert us.” “Ugh, I get that.” I replied, “So did you leave the state for college?” “Yes, I went to Nebraska.” 

“Nebraska?” I shuddered. “A beautiful state, but wasn’t it cold?” “I didn’t mind the cold,” he said, “But I left at every opportunity, because it was so . . .” He ran out of words at that point. He looked physically uneasy. He put his palms on the table facing each other about a foot apart, horizontally, and then changed them to a header-footer type position, trying to form a square.  “Too … unbounded?” I said. “Yes, exactly. It had no mountains or trees to break up the space,” he replied quickly, with relief. “I can see that,” I nodded. After all, he had come from a very mountainous tree-covered area in Utah. 

Nebraska, only flat to the untrained eye.

We finished our fika and went back to work, but that was when I began thinking about unbounded-ness and how it scared people. It wasn’t something I really considered before. I love to be out on the open sea, away from the sight of land. I look into the heavens and wonder what is all that expanse of darkness, not about the stars that dot it. It’s strange to me that people could be afraid of unbounded space in the same way people fear enclosed space. I like Ākāśa (as we Buddhists call it). Why did my coworker need boundaries, to feel safe? I wondered. Did lots of people feel like that?

I also began to think about the Resurrection (because it’s the time of the year). We pay great attention to the empty grave. But I think perhaps not enough consideration is given to what Jesus left behind. The grave clothes, neatly folded. He left behind what had bound him. He became unbounded. Which was quite a challenge if you know anything about how bodies are bound in shrouds for burial. If you’re interested in a bit more info on shrouding see here.

In some respects, I think it’s another of Jesus’s teachings on life (let’s not forget, Jesus was a Jewish rabbi, all about life), that we have to choose to leave behind what bound us to death, we have to know what is that’s been keeping us bound and carefully remove it. The cloth was not cast away, or torn off, it was thoughtfully, respectfully laid aside. The way we lay aside a cherished object, opinion, way of dealing with things,  that no longer serves us well. We do it carefully, because we respect that it served us well once, for a time.

Always make your bed.

I also think that it teaches us not to be afraid to step back into the light, into the unbounded world, after enduring a period of darkness and enclosure. Clinging to the darkness, to the narrow place, is not life. Is unbounded life a bit scary? It pushes us to act, often with courage, to make decisions, whose consequences we must live with, but in this manner we can grow and become. And we can let others grow and become. We learn to navigate the broad waters, to distant shores and back again. We learn to love the space between the stars, that maybe isn’t so empty as we once believed. We learn to rejoice in the vast plains as well as the imperious mountains.

I was telling a friend all this when she suddenly got up and walked away. She came back with a book by Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks (Z”l) and showed me the Introduction to the Book of Numbers. It read as follows: Exodus and Numbers are not just two halves of the same story.  Exodus and Numbers represent two different kinds of liberty. In a distinction made famous by Isaiah Berlin, Exodus is about negative freedom, hofesh (חוֹפֶשׁ) in Hebrew. Numbers is about positive freedom, for which the sages coined the word herut (חֵרוּת).

Negative freedom is what a slave acquires when he or she is liberated. There is no one to give you orders. Individually, you are free to do what you choose. But a society in which everyone is free to do what they choose is not a free society. It is anarchy. A free society requires codes and disciplines of self-restraint so that my freedom is not bought at the cost of yours. It is a society of law-governed liberty. That is why Exodus and Numbers are profoundly different despite their surface similarities. What matters in Exodus is how the people escape from Pharaoh. What matters in Numbers is how they rise to the challenges of self-rule and responsibility.

If your current star goes out, as they sometimes do, just pick another.

People need stars to guide them, they need a few unchanging landmarks to reassure them, a treeline here, a mountain (Sinai or Olives) there. But you are free, whichever version of the freedom story you embrace – rising up from Egypt or up from sin and death. The only question going forward is how will you rise to the challenges of freedom, self-rule, and responsibility? And will you protect law-governed liberty that allows ALL others freedom, self-rule, and responsibility? And will you do it thoughtfully, carefully, maintaining all the while the spirit of Salaam ( سلام  ) peace?

May the waters part, just when you need them to part. May the stone roll away, just when you need it to roll away. May you find in your bushel baskets filled with all that you need, most of what you want, and a sand grain-sized irritation a the very bottom (maybe a critical clean-freak aunt or a politically inclined brother seated at your table tomorrow?) which you can turn into a pearl.

You never know what’s inside!

This week results from my Ancestry DNA test came in. The cousins were happy. The parents? Not so much. Turns out there were a few Easter eggs in the DNA after all. Nothing as exotic as I’d hoped, but Da is not as Welsh as he believed. And my mother is not as German, nor as Irish, as she thought. My Da’s response was to whip out his credit card and purchase a test for himself because, “Obviously the lab was mistaken.” My mother’s response was an actual, audible sigh of relief. I understood both reactions.

For my Da, being Welsh is his identity, and for all the good and bad of Welsh-ness, he’s proud of that identity. His level of Welsh-ness is still a 10 in my mind, it hasn’t changed. He’s still a 100% product of Wales and the Welsh culture. Alright, so he may have 9% English blood, or a touch of Scottish. And some of that Welsh blood may be from North Wales not South Wales (which he minds, but I don’t). But it doesn’t change who he is or how he identifies or he moves through the world.

For my mother, her ancestry always came with baggage. To know that she may actually be mostly English, or at least percentage wise more English than either German or Irish, is a relief. She can now honestly reimagine herself as a person that doesn’t have to carry so many bags anymore. She doesn’t want to take a test to find out exact percentages. And I get that. Why pay money if Da is spending his and I have spent mine on the test. We can triangulate her heritage based on our test maths. Which leads me to believe (and yes, stereotype) that it’s actually my mother who holds the small fraction of Scottish genes I inherited.

We learn who we are in practice, not in theory.

Another fun fact was the number of “1st cousins once removed” or half-cousins I have. The Easter egg there is really the half-cousins. It implies that my grandparents siblings may have had more than one marriage, which isn’t true, in the sense that we only know of one marriage partner for each. So, Da’s family Bible may need some edits due to, um, dangerous liasons? I of course will not pursue this line of enquiry, simply because these aren’t my grandparents and it’s really up to my “1st cousins once removed” and half-cousins to turn over that rock, if they so choose. I never did ask my cousins why they wanted to me to do the Ancestry test. I don’t think I will now. But I’m happy to be a leaf on their tree.

And speaking of tests with interesting results, all quite at work this week of that front. We continue to deal with what we laughingly call PTM (Presidential Tariff Mania – not a DSM-5 listed condition). But it’s become a sort of blitz mentality. You (the US) are attacking us, but we will outlast you with calm dignity and lots of ridicule. Friday was super quite. Many people were off. It being both the start of Passover week and Easter week, I imagine places to go and people to see. Which, depending on how you’re feeling about the world and who is at your table, may lead to awkward conversations over the matzah or lamb. To that, I would recommend you read/listen to a few books that are not politically related and try engaging over some less fraught topics.

I recommend Range: Why generalists triumph in a specialized world, by David Epstein from 2019. I’ve found it a good conversation starter. Most people go through multiple jobs in a lifetime. They change careers and think they’re behind, never realising they take that knowledge and skill with them, and that’s a plus not a minus. Starting early with a narrow focus, putting in your 10K hours? That may not be the way to go for you or even most people on earth. I was giving blood at a drive last Sunday and asked my phlebotomist if this was her career or a step on her journey. I never know what people will say, but I ask. She said her plan was to be a Physican’s Assistant, but her school councilor gave her bad advice. So she ended taking a course over rather than toughing it out and getting a grade. Even though she passed the repeat course with flying colours, when she applied to PA programs, every one of them rejected her. She could never become a PA without that program certification.

She said at that point, her dad (a fightfighter) said, “Apply to be a firefighter.” She decided, “Why not?” Turns out she loves firefighting. And she’s happy that’s the direction her life is going in. Was her previous training a waste? I don’t think so. I think she’ll bring an added level of medical ability to her firefighting that may end up saving the lives of fire victims and her coworkers. So is she getting a late start on her career? Or is her situation a long-term career advantage? David Epstein makes the case that in our increasingly AI-driven world, the answer is the latter. But feel free to discuss! And if you don’t have time to read the book (Seder dinner countdowns have begun.) Listen to the author discuss for an hour on your drive to dinner via Forrest Hanson’s Being Well Podcast.

If your family is a little more on the religious side, you can open with this, When the Angel of Death passes by the houses of people (not just Hebrew slaves, but anyone that heeds God’s/Moses’s warning) who have painted their door lintel and posts with lamb’s blood, why is the AOD passing by exactly? It’s a really interesting question. If you’ve ever looked at door lintels and doorposts, or painted them, you know they have a certain shape. If you know the Hebrew alphabet, you know the letter formed in painting is a Chet, which is the first letter of the word Chai (חי because it’s read right to left). Which means life, or living, or to live. It’s a common symbol you might see your Jewish friend wearing.

So, is the Angel of Death passing by because of a blood aversion? Because AOD is travelling through the town with God (sort of implied by the verses) and God is saying, “Nope not that one.” Or because the AOD is seeing the house is marked with the word “live,” in the very essence of the lifeforce (blood), and other houses are not? The question you probably don’t want to get into at table is if God and AOD are the same thing. By saying God passes over a house, it’s implied God is doing the killing. But that could be a poor translation of the word, Pesach. I’d personally go with the translation “protects”. But if you like word play, you could maybe have some fun with that topic.

If you’re on the Easter side of the blanket and need religious topic, I always like to whip out my Ásgarðr (Asgard) Theorem. When Jesus rises from the dead, he has fish fry with the disciples to prove he’s still fully human. And yet he ascends into heaven, where supposedly everyone is noncorporeal. So how does that work? If Jesus is seated at the right hand of God, what happens when he needs to get up and use the loo? Where is the heavenly loo? If he flushes were does it go? Granted, as you might suspect, our religious Easter discussions are little more catholic than Catholic. But these are things worth thinking about. If Jesus is human, he must miss the human things. Or he must have some special realm within heaven he lives in, with other living corporeal things like fruit trees, because he’s eating. It’s a puzzle.

If you’re looking for a little self-care after you’ve dined with family, and it hasn’t gone well or maybe it has, I recommend We’ll Prescribe You a Cat, by Syou Ishida, from 2024, and translated by E Madison Shimoda. It is a pure delight. It’s more like short stories. So just read the first story, Bee. You don’t have to like to cats to enjoy it, but if you like cats, you’ll laugh a lot. If you decide to listen to the book, Bee is less than 2 hours long. You’ll probably be surprised that the reader, is Japanese, speaking English. His interpretation gives an extra dimension to the characters and how the author would have us perceive them that an English or American narrator could never capture. He is amazing because – dare I say it? – he has range.

I find the cozy cat genre to Japan, what the cozy mystery genre is to England. It’s a little window into the Japanese soul, into Japanese life, hopes, dreams, and, of course, their comfort reads. I like these kinds of books as a good way to get to know other people in other countries as people. This is something I think that’s especially important now, (comfort reads, yes, but) expanding our knowledge of other people, their cultures, and what brings them comfort. Countries descend into madness when hatred of others becomes the drip, drip, drip, of your authority figures. Ultimately if you don’t cap that tap, that drip can become an ocean and lead to a tsunami of terrible things.

Cut through the waters. Make some room for the miraculous this week.

Empathy is not they enemy of peace, but its midwife. It’s why fascists, dictators, and warmongers hate it and work to crush empathy out of people that they plan to use a tools to carry out ever more vicious and obscenely inhuman acts. If you’re having difficulty with birthing some empathy for others, at your table or elsewhere, or even for yourself? Please, call the Midwife – available 24/7, to deliver peace in your heart, your home, and the whole wide world. And, Mind the Tap.

It’s a Yuzu

This week, I went to see my parents, just for a couple of days, to help them with some spring cleaning before Easter. Work was kind of slow for my department (our workflow has an annual cycle) and my boss said it was okay. Plus, and I admit this, I didn’t want to be in Canada when the tariffs kicked in and impede any angry venting my coworkers might (justifiably) be inclined to get up to in the heat of the moment. Not that I would disagree with their anger, or object to their venting. But they get embarrassed after they use colorful language about America in front of me and then remember I too am American.

Weirdly though, people (including the CEO of the company) keep drifting by desk on flimsy pretexts and after some small talk then segue into to some variation of “what do you think they (the current US Administration) will do next?” In the beginning, they didn’t believe the things I told them would happen. Then they happened. So now they do believe me, but I try not to futurecast. Mostly because I don’t think there are any veils left to drop for most people outside of the US. They can see the naked insanity for themselves. In the US? That’s a different story.

My Da and I went to Sprout’s yesterday. This was day two of the stock market slide after being intentionally crashed by the “genius” in charge. I picked up a little palm-sized plush toy lemon for my desk. There was an older woman ahead of us, grey hair. “Is that for your kids?” she asked with a smile. “No,” I replied, “that’s for me.” “Oh?” She was puzzled. “It the sort of thing I used to buy for my class when I was a school teacher.” “Oh, that’s sweet.” said I, and went on to explain. “It’s been a rough go at work lately, some people got fired. I try to make my desk an upbeat place with cheerful little things.” “Oh, I think it will end eventually.” she replied, acknowledging the turmoil. “And it will turn out to all have been for the best.”

The teacher took her bags and said, “God bless.” with all sincerity and off she went into the night. I just looked at my Da. I didn’t even have to say it. She’s doubtless on Social Security and Medicare with a Teacher’s Union Pension tied to the stock market. But still she doesn’t let go of the anchor that’s drowning her as she spoke. I believe that’s being a victim of the “Sunk Cost Fallacy.” The belief that she’s come this far, and even though objectively she should change course, she won’t because she’s invested too much (in time, energy, belief, money, etc). It’s not identity politics. It’s straight up a very human tendency to misread the economics of the situation for fear of having to admit one made a mistake and chose unwisely. But the wisest thing one can do in such a situation is see it as it is, learn from it, and choose a new path.

Sadly, a lot of people in the US won’t do that. And not just sweet god-fearing retirees who vote red, spent a lifetime dedicated to serving children and carefully building their retirement based on a view that certain things would never change. A lot of blue voters do it too. I honestly cannot understand what Sen. Booker was doing. I suppose if you want your speech in the public record for posterity (presuming the public record isn’t redacted), or if you want to be the Black record holder as opposed to the Racist record holder of the longest speech, that’s something you could do, but it was all symbolic. It didn’t do anything to change the situation. It was just a jeremiad. It wasn’t wrong, it just wasn’t of any effect for the people he serves. And that’s what we send people to congress for – to be effective leaders of change for the public good.

In my personal opinion, persons who crash a plane into the Pentagon or World Trade Centers are not different that persons who crash the Pentagon (or any other US agency established and funded by Congress), or the economy. The thing about trying to crash the world economy to prove you’re important, just proves to the world your country is unstable and dangerous, and it’s better to wall it off from stable, normal, healthy societies and their economies. You become the virus everyone firewalls against. The fact that the US is so integrated into the world economy is why the US needs to be responsible – with great power comes great responsibility. But the baton has passed now I think. Over to Europe and Canada, Australia and other nations.

Batons, knives, what you will.

Is that for the best, in the end? I guess it remains to be seen. Not for the best for the US, I venture, if one’s view is for the US to be the leader of the free world. But it’s probably good for Europe and other nations. I think the Republicans have, to use an old phrase our hoary Congress members would know, “jumped the shark.” What will replace the GOP? I don’t know. I suppose it will be up to leaders like Sanders and AOC to blaze a path forward. And making swift change at scale, a la FDR, for a Dem president once in office will be easier with all the powers Congress has (by virtue of not acting to restore the balance of power among the branches now) ceded to the executive branch.

Passing the baton is never easy. People holding the baton are afraid to let go. But in the end, it is unavoidable. The national baton passed on Jan 20th, and the hand off was solid, but the current administration GOP literally stopped running, threw the baton away, then turned around and began attacking other runners on the team instead of just continuing the race from the solid position they were handed. The only hope is for the Democratic party, or some more functional version of it, to pick up the baton and run with it. For that to happen, people, voters and politicians, really need to start thinking about letting go of sunk costs.

It’s actually the case the winners know when to quit and quit often. Grit is not always (or even most of the time) a virtuous quality or a winning strategy (when we look at the lives of successful people). Knowing when to quit something (or someone) is not just a good skill to have, it’s a survival skill. It’s even in the Bible. If the ravens stop bringing you food and the river dries up, you need to find another food and water source. You can stand there and pray until you die, or you can accept (like Elijah) the time has come to move on. You can choose to be an adult, buying a plush toy, in public. And your Da can choose to pretend he’s just a random shopper behind you.

Happy whatever holiday it is you’re choosing to celebrate this year!

Gummy Bear tarot card – so German.

A couple of weeks ago some of my relatives asked if we (my side of the family) would do a DNA test for that Ancestry thing. A couple of my cousins are really into genealogy. My Da was like, “doesn’t the family bible go back 7 generations?” My mother was a bit more circumspect, “Do we really want to know?” About her side? I went ahead and did it anyway. I keep getting texts “Your DNA is being processed.” etc. I don’t imagine I learn anything I don’t know. Only because 1% DNA results are 5 generations back, and I already know my family 5 generations back. Still, I’m hoping for some magical surprises.

There’s a chance- via ancient Roman blood, from my Da, because Wales was a Roman colony – of some Italian or Middle Eastern ancestry. On my mother’s side, there lies the vast Austro-Hungarian empire. Lots of nationalities mixing it up there. Too, the city that side hales from had (up until WWII) the 4th largest Jewish population, so that’s a possibility. And it was a port city, so it’d be fun to see China turn up in the results, or even Tibet (I recently I finished a Thangka – thanks to Dutch artist Carmen Mensink and Tara (her cat), with the School for Tibetan Art. Highly recommend!)

As you can tell, not overly whipped up about my DNA, its security or lack thereof, or my results. I’m not searching for who I am. I know who I am. I’m an American. That’s good enough for me. Also, there’s no DNA test for American, and that’s the great thing about being American. No matter what you’ve heard, no one can prove you’re not one based on your appearance, religion, language, class, occupation, etc, etc, etc. Because what’s exceptional about being American is we are individuals who value being a good citizen equal to all other citizens, abiding by fair democratic group decisions, and making just compassionate rules of law that apply to everyone, without exception.

Sri Lanka

This week I also spoke to a friend in California who is 1st generation American born, of Sri Lankan ancestry, USC educated, with a job in the sciences at for-profit corporation. In the course of catching up, she said “Oh, yeah, ICE was here last month, to check for undocumented workers.” “Really?” I said. Undocumented workers aren’t a problem in California, for Californians. But ICE are Federal Agents and do as the Federal administration tells them. “Did your company have any such workers?” I asked with dread, knowing they might have been dragged away from their American family, friends, homes and communities.

“No.” she replied. “The company did an audit for undocumented workers a while ago and made sure we didn’t have any undocumented employees or even undocumented third-party contractors.” And then she said, “And I always carry my passport now.” “What?” I replied. “After the last election, my parents said, ‘America is different now. You need to always make sure you can prove you’re an American citizen.’ So I always have it with me.” “Like right now?” “Yeah, in my purse. All the time. You never know.”

I admit to having a flash back to the many 1940s movies I had watched growing up wherein Nazis (sometimes Communists) on a train are demanding people’s papers. That’s kind of my, ” ‘You know you’re in a fascist/authoritarian state when …’ bar.” If you have to carry papers at all times or suffer what is actually a sort of extraordinary rendition, it means your country has no rule of law, no due process, no morality left. If you’re not sure it’s extraordinary rendition that’s happening in the US right now, please review recent articles on El Salvador and torture in prisons.

Sri Lankan child.

In times past, people used to come to America because they wanted a fair shake. They used that fair shake to better themselves. And in bettering themselves, they also sought to better their communities. If America was a shining city on a hill, its immigrants and citizens were the folks that kept the beacon lights burning. The idea was America was a meritocracy, and if you weren’t being discriminated against for your religious beliefs, class, color, creed, gender, physical handicaps, etc, as in other lands, you too could grow, thrive, and contribute. I’ve known elderly people who worked 10-hr days on a factory line, went to night school, then studied 3 hrs a night just to get a college degree, even though it took 9 years. All this was part and parcel of being American for a very long time.

I use the word “was” because, well, in looking at the DoD’s Signal debacle, and dog-e, and the whole of the current administration, it’s pretty clear that though they say DEI is keeping America from being a meritocracy, the level and quality of personnel staffing of the current “we don’t use DEI” administration could best be described as exemplary of an ideocracy, or an idiotcracy, or even an id-ocracy but not a meritocracy. The key roles of governance are in the hands of ideologs, idiots and people (white men mostly) who just let their ids run wild. At best you could call it maybe a stag-nation. The sort of decisions they make are those drunken men might presumably make toward the end of a pub-crawl stag night.

That is to say, advancing American exceptionalism (in the sense of creating America as a place that generates exceptional people, ideas, governance) is definitely not this administration’s raison d’etre. One could argue in fact making America “a bottom of the barrel” clown show is this administration’s raison d’etre. There are no leaders (people capable of leading) in this administration, they’re all figure heads, tv personalities, people who “look the part” but can’t actually act (or think things through). I’m not sure why people voted for gross incompetency. But gone are the days when all Americans wanted to better themselves and saw it as the govt’s job to use tax dollars to help create paths, like free public education and libraries, physical and financial infrastructure or social safety nets, to help them do so and thus build the shining city.

America’s greatest cathedral, the NYPL.

I want to mention French writer Alexis de Tocqueville here. In his 1835/1840 work Democracy in America, he wrote:

“The position of the Americans is therefore quite exceptional … their exclusively commercial habits, … which seems to focus their minds on the pursuit of science, literature, and the arts, the proximity of Europe, which allows them to sometimes neglect these pursuits without relapsing into barbarism, a thousand special causes, … have singularly concurred to fix the mind of the American upon purely practical objects. His passions, his wants, his education, and everything about him seem to unite in drawing the natives of the United States earthward; his religion alone bids him turn, from time to time, a transient and distracted glance to heaven.”

Americans’ natural inclinations have been, from the nation’s start, ” to focus their minds on the pursuit of science, literature, and the arts, ” with little more than “a transient and distracted glance to heaven.” The idea of America as a religious nation is unsupported by eyewitness testimony. It was always a commercial nation, a nation of people pursuing dreams – of art, science, literature, a thousand special causes. It was always a nation closely connected to Europe and its ideas, although not always its styles of democracy. So how did we end up so far from there and in a fever dream of trying to “return” to an America that never was. Never was religious. Never was detached from Europe. Never was authoritarian or fascist?

Of course it is the nature of things to rise and fall, and I know that. As a kid I would pull down an old crusty “History of Civilization” volume at random (by Will and Ariel Durant) and spend a rainy afternoon leafing through the highs, lows, and general wackiness of humanity (from a totally Western and European point of view). If you like stories, and the past, it’s the most fun ever. And the authors had a definite point of view. They believed in human rights, social reform, the collective goodness of humanity. They finished the series in 1977 and both died in 1981 within 2 weeks of each other. I’m not sure what they would have make of America’s history since 1980 or American academia today.

No doubt they would wonder why a well-endowed American university that can afford to lose $400 million in govt funding, refuses to fight for what American rights, education and students in the face of unlawful and unconstitutional executive office attempts at extortion. Historian Joan Rubin wrote about Will Durant’s philosophical outlook: “To be one’s ‘deliberate self,’ he explained, meant to ‘rise above’ the impulse to ‘become the slaves of our passions’ and instead to act with ‘courageous devotion’ to a moral cause.”

I think they would have been sympathetic to those students simply, peacefully, showing their courageous devotion to the moral cause of the survival of innocent people. And less sympathetic to a university that bows to a rogue government trying to force foreign, un-American, ideologies on institutions of higher learning. I think they would have remember this story of teachers from Norway. and how their quiet resistance – along with that of their students and their families – beat back the rise of fascism because they remained individuals loyal to truth, education, and justice but took courageous collective action.

A paper clip is a small thing, but linked together small things can be exceptionally powerful. Even magical.