Lakisha Johnson's Blog

Some of you are fighting CPTSD and you don’t even recognize the signs. What’s CPTSD? Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Understand. I’m no expert. In fact, I learned about and researched this while writing #AlmostDestroyed. But what I’ve learned is, we can experience CPTSD from trauma, past relationships, our childhood, witnessing abuse, infidelity, religious hurt, disease, financial trauma, abandonment, bullying, infidelity, harassment, homelessness, and the list goes on.

And when you suffer with CPTSD, it causes you to have difficulty controlling your emotions, intense anger, sustaining relationships, believing you are enough, feelings of shame, guilt, or worthlessness, nightmares and/or flashbacks. You know what else? You’ll feel connected to your trauma and will have a hard time coming out of agreement with it. Why do you think you continue to crave a relationship with the person who keeps hurting you? It’s because there’s something going on, in your mind, that makes you loyal to things that are not loyal to you.

Baby, you may have CPTSD. This is why when something happens, you won’t even recognize that you’ve been triggered until afterwards. At that point, you’ve probably done things you wouldn’t normally do. Like hurt yourself or others. You’ll find yourself floating, face down, in sin and it’s not until you’ve come back to yourself that you now regret what you’ve done. All from being triggered by unresolved hurt, and unhealed trauma that you don’t even know is CPTSD.

This thinking, “hurt them before they hurt me,” or “let me get my lick back,” are both side effects of CPTSD. A side effect you’ll never get rid of if you don’t, A. Admit you need help, B. Get help to figure out your triggers, and C. Receive the help to manage and control when you’re triggered.

Beloved, you don’t have to continue to live like this. Stop being ashamed of your struggle because there is help available, but you must make yourself available for it.

I’m looking forward to meeting the healed YOU.

I REFUSE TO ALLOW MY PAST, WHAT THEY DID & SAID, WHAT I’VE LOST, HOW THEY LABELED ME, WHAT I’VE DONE AND ENDURED TO ROB ME OF WHAT GOD HAS FOR ME!!

Today, I am reclaiming my power, my voice, my place, and my God-given identity, so that I no longer walk in shame, but leap with the faith, joy, and assurance that I am who I am because of whose I am.

Therefore, allow me to reintroduce myself.

Hello, I am God’s chosen. It’s nice to meet you.

Eleven years ago, I preached my first sermon. “Called, not cursed.” Today, I’m still standing on this declaration because (and I can be honest) ministry is hard, tedious, doesn’t always pay well, takes sacrifice, time, sleep and sometimes gives people the audacity to try you.

However, even with all of these things, I’d still say yes to God. In fact, I wish I hadn’t waited so long to answer Him. But I realized, had I said yes before I did, I would’ve messed up what God had planned for me. Therefore, I’m grateful to be in this, my place, and God’s purpose doing what He’s anointed me to do.

Therrfore, if you dont mind, let me encourage myself. Happy Preach-a-versary Pastor Kisha. Keep going because God’s plan for you is God’s plan for YOU! And every seed, tear, groan, prayer, dollar, fast, minute and cry is and will be worth it.

You got this, girl!

What if you were to treat the pain and not the problem?

What do you mean Pastor Kisha?

Imagine going to the doctor, in severe pain, and they prescribe narcotics. Now, while the medication works, when it wears off the pain returns. Why? Because the pain has been treated, but not the cause of the pain.

Beloved, how much longer will you carry on, masking the pain? How much longer will you act like there’s nothing wrong? How long are you going to keep putting off healing? Baby, you’ll never heal if you keep pretending you aren’t hurt.

Deal with the mommy/daddy issues, abandonment woes, generational curses, and self-esteem problems. Get help for the depression, anxiety, and your mental health. Grieve the person who has died and the one still alive, but dead to you. Speak the truth of how they made you feel. Forgive yourself for what you allowed and took. Heal the wounds you keep bandaging because they can still become infected even when they are covered. Which may be the stench you smell.

Heal mane. Heal because there’s so much waiting on the healed version of you.

Treat the problem, not just the pain!

We think that when one door closes, God will open another one. Now, while I believe God will close doors, relationships, access, contracts, etc. that are detrimental to our being and purpose, what if He doesn’t open the next “thing” right away?

What if God doesn’t immediately open another door because He needs you to heal or sit and deal with what you’ve just come out of? What if God doesn’t open another door, right away, because there’s some pruning and processing required before you are mentally ready to get what’s next? What if the next door isn’t opened because God needs to strengthen you while you wait? What if the next door isn’t opened, immediately, because God needs you to slow down and rest before you get up for the next leg of the journey?

What if the blessing is the closing of the door AND the waiting? How will you wait?

You do know that God is still God even when you’re looking at the closed door and waiting. You do know that God will provide. You do know that when God deems you ready, He’ll open everything meant for you and there will be nothing lost. Including your life, mind, provisions, stuff, and time.

So, how will you wait?

“But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” – Isaiah‬ ‭40‬:‭31‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

8/28/2014 + 1 Day – A date deemed worthy of displaying on my right wrist.

See, it was eleven years + one day ago that I stopped running from God’s call. Yet, it’d be the day after that my life began to align with God’s will. I’ve shared this testimony before, but I could not let this day pass without telling it again for somebody who needs a reminder of God’s promises. No, I’m not about to sell you a fairy tale or try to convince you that saying yes to God will erase all your troubles. However, I know how saying yes restored what I did not even realize was broken and stitched what I couldn’t see was bleeding.

Y’all, I stood in the bathroom stall at work, bawling and apologizing to God for all the time I’d wasted. Times when I was tired but still trying to fight what I couldn’t win. Weighed down and wounded yet still trying to act like all was good. Drowning in debt and tired!

Then I said yes.

Did it erase every trouble? No. Has it always been good and easy? No. Have I always been good and faithful? No. But God has. And I realized something. Even though I was disobedient, sinful, sometimes prideful, raggedy, and not worthy, had God given me destiny then, I would have messed it up. This is why I’m grateful for all I’ve been through. #Godsplan

That day, back in 2014, our entire life shifted. God told me to pack our apartment up and move. We did, even though we had no clue where we were going. My husband probably thought I was crazy, but he trusted my OBEDIENCE to what I heard God say. So, we packed up over Labor Day weekend 2014, put everything in storage, moved to an Extended Stay for two weeks, and then with my In-Loves for 2 weeks before finding a rental in Southaven. Get this … when we moved into that house, we didn’t pay one bill late and haven’t since. WITH THE SAME MONEY! #GodsProvision

The person you see today Lakisha had nothing to do with it. Who I am is because God didn’t give up on me. God waited through my sin, silliness, struggle, secrets, self-doubt, and stupidity. God waited for me to trust Him with my life. God waited until I gave him my yes. Sure, I was still in some of the stuff above, but because I gave God access and permission, He could then come in and do what I couldn’t … cleanse me. #GodsPromise

Beloved, I don’t know why you’re afraid to give God a yes. I don’t know what things you’re trying to fight alone. I don’t know what your past, current circumstances, anger, or fear are trying to get you to believe about yourself. BUT TRUST GOD! Why? Because He never fails and He never forgets you. He may leave you in the fight longer, but He’s there. He may let you face some battles, but He’s there. Trust Him.

It’s been eleven years + one day and I’m still trusting God with my yes. Will you?

Have you prepared for what you’ve been praying for?

No, really. Have you?

Many times, we pray for God to give us without realizing that sometimes, His giving to us means we also have to give … um, how can I type this? It means we, too, have to give up some stuff.

You know, like the ways that won’t fit, the language that won’t mix, the mindset that won’t work, some places and people you’ve outgrown, the bitterness that’s biting folks or the hurt that keeps hurting folk.

So, I’ll ask again. Have you prepared for what you’re praying for? Have you prepared yourself to be a spouse or are you still doing the girlfriend/boyfriend, sneaky link, situationship type of living? How are you praying for a new job and still can’t make it to the one you got on time? Why are you wasting God’s time asking for more money when you’re consistently mishandling what you have? Praying for a business but won’t take the time to get the knowledge?

What are you doing? Is you playing or are praying and preparing for real?

You’re weary

You’re tired

You’re at your wit’s end

You’re sick

You’re depressed

You’re suicidal

You’re grieving

You’re in debt

You’re in sin

You’re contemplating …

BUT GET UP!

But, a conjunction which is used to indicate the impossibility of anything other than what is being stated.

Beloved, life may be at its hardest, but get up. Not because life goes on. Get up because you need to see what’s beyond this moment. Sure, I may not know all you’re dealing with, all that’s waiting on you, nor all you’ve had to endure. However, I know this. It won’t always be like this. One day, you’re going to tell somebody about this moment. The moment you wanted to give up. The moment you thought life wasn’t worth living. The moment you almost believed the enemy. The moment that could have been your end.

And the reason you’ll be able to tell it is because you prayed, believed, fasted, trusted, faithed this thang and got up.

Get up boo. There’s greater waiting for you!

“Unless the LORD had helped me, I would soon have settled in the silence of the grave. “I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O LORD, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.” Psalm 94:17-19 NLT

Wake up, wake up, wake up! It’s the first of the month. So get up, get up, get up and cash your checks and come on! Or whatever #BoneThugsNHarmony said

Seriously, today kicks off Temple Church’s first giving campaign!

For the past year, God—along with the M.R. Davis Public Library—has provided a space for Temple Church to worship, and we are truly grateful for this support. We are NOT moving yet, but as we look ahead, the time has come for us to prepare for our permanent home.

With that in mind, we are excited to announce our very first giving campaign: #BuildHER, where “HER” represents God’s Temple.

We invite you to join us on this journey! Our campaign runs from July 1 to December 31, 2025 and you can contribute at any time and any amount.

**Ways to Give:**
– CashApp: $TempleChurch662
– PayPal
– Tithe.ly (Our Church Building Fund)

If you have any questions, feel free to email, call, or message us.

Let’s build HER together!

By Alexia Jones

When we get married, we stand in front of people we love, and we say the words we’ve heard a hundred times: for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.

And we mean it.

But no one really talks about what “worse” can actually look like. No one tells you that there might come a season where you feel more like roommates than lovers. Or when you cry quietly in the bathroom so your kids won’t hear. Or when you wonder, in the stillness of night, Is this really how marriage is supposed to feel?

What Happens When Marriage Doesn’t Go as Planned

Every couple hits rough patches—but when it lasts for months or even years, it starts to wear you down. Maybe the spark is gone. Maybe you argue over the smallest things. Maybe you’re both exhausted, distant, and neither of you knows how to fix it.

You might love each other, but right now, it doesn’t feel like love. It feels like survival.

Sometimes it’s not a huge betrayal—it’s the slow unraveling. Busy schedules, parenting, stress, loss, disappointment. Life happens. People change. And suddenly, the person you married feels like someone you don’t fully recognize.

And if you’re a person of faith, this can feel even more confusing. You prayed about this person. You believed your marriage was part of God’s plan. So why does it feel so hard?

The Lie That Something Is Wrong With You

One of the worst parts of a struggling marriage is the shame. We scroll past happy couple photos online, we see others holding hands at church, and we think, They’ve got it figured out. What’s wrong with us?

But the truth? Many couples struggle. They just don’t talk about it. Marriage is beautiful, yes—but it’s also messy, stretching, and sometimes really lonely. It doesn’t mean you married the wrong person. It might just mean you’re two imperfect people trying to love each other through a very real life.

When Faith Becomes a Lifeline

In hard seasons, your faith might be the only thing holding you together. Not because it gives you easy answers—but because it gives you strength to show up anyway.

Sometimes faith is waking up, breathing deep, and whispering, God, I don’t know how to fix this, but I trust that You’re here. It’s believing that love isn’t just a warm feeling—it’s a sacred, stubborn decision. It’s praying for your spouse when it’s the last thing you feel like doing.

And it’s also praying for yourself—for patience, for courage, for peace.

Choosing to Stay Doesn’t Mean Losing Yourself

Let’s be honest: staying in a hard marriage doesn’t always feel noble. Sometimes it feels exhausting. And sometimes, people stay out of guilt, fear, or pressure—especially in faith circles.

But staying doesn’t mean you have to become invisible.

It’s okay to speak up about your needs. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to say, “We’re not okay right now.” And it’s more than okay to go to counseling, individually or together. (Jesus and therapy can go hand in hand.)

A healthy marriage isn’t about keeping the peace at all costs—it’s about growing together in honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable.

And Still… Love Can Grow Again

There’s something deeply holy about two people choosing to stay when things are tough—not out of obligation, but out of hope.
Love might look different now than it did on your wedding day. It might be quieter, more weathered, a little bruised—but that doesn’t mean it’s broken beyond repair.

Sometimes, love is:

Sitting on the couch together in silence, but choosing to sit closeSaying “I forgive you” even when you’re still healingChoosing to stay curious about each other instead of making assumptionsCelebrating small progress instead of expecting overnight changeRemembering why you fell in love, and choosing to build something new on top of that memory

Healing takes time. Reconnection takes work. But it is possible. Many couples who once wondered if they’d make it now tell stories of second chances, deeper intimacy, and a faith that carried them through.

When You’ve Done All You Can

If you’re reading this and thinking, We’ve tried… and we’re still stuck, know this: your value is not determined by the state of your marriage.

Sometimes marriages heal. Sometimes they don’t. And while divorce is never the dream, it does happen. If you’re in a relationship marked by abuse, manipulation, or repeated betrayal with no change—you are not called to be a martyr. You are called to peace. (Romans 12:18)

God’s grace covers those who stay, and those who leave after trying everything. His love doesn’t abandon you at the edge of your breaking point. He sees the whole story.

You’re Not Alone

If marriage feels hard right now, you’re not broken—you’re human. This road is more common than you think, and you don’t have to walk it alone. Lean into faith. Reach out to trusted friends or mentors. And if your spouse is willing, lean in together.

Because sometimes, the most powerful thing two people can say—after the “I do”—is simply: I’m still here. I still choose you. Let’s keep going.

Even when it’s hard.
Even when the fairy tale fades.
Because love—real love—isn’t perfect.
It’s faithful.

I want to thank Alexia for this wonderful blog post and allowing me to share it here. If you want to get in touch with her, you can via email or Facebook.

Also, check out my book series on wedding vows, What Did You Vow, on Amazon.