Alan Fadling's Blog

Blog by Gem Fadling

Have you ever found yourself walking on eggshells around someone? Maybe it’s a family member, a coworker, or even a close friend. Their words or actions leave you feeling drained, hurt, or even questioning your own worth.

 

Let’s explore together how to engage with difficult people in a way that honors both your dignity and theirs. We are going to look at five ways to set boundaries and stay true to yourself, even in challenging relationships.

 

Acknowledge the Pain

Before we dig into the five ways, let’s acknowledge the hurt. Difficult relationships are painful. Whether it’s controlling behavior or constant criticism, the wounds are real.

 

Romans 12 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Notice it says ”if it is possible, as far as it depends on you.” That means sometimes, despite our best efforts, peaceful connection isn’t fully attainable. And that’s not a failure, it’s just how it is with some people.

 

We don’t control others. They still get to decide how they will act and what they will do. The good news is that we get to do the same. We can choose to relate to others in healthy ways, even if they do not receive it.

 

So, take a deep breath. It’s okay to admit that someone’s actions are hurting you. Feeling this pain means you’re human. And the good news? You’re not powerless. You have choices.

 

Let’s look at five ways you can respond with grace and strength.

 

Know Your Worth

Before you even respond to difficult behavior, it’s good to remember your own value. Ephesians 2 reminds us that “we are God’s masterpiece.” Engaging this reality allows some holy confidence to bolster you from within.

 

You can grow to acknowledge your own thoughts and feelings without needing others to affirm them. Remind yourself: “I am loved by God, and my thoughts and feelings matter.”

 

This is not a Band-Aid-sized idea. For some of us it may take a little time to believe this more deeply. But continue to practice remembering you are a beloved child of God. And then let this inform your intentions and actions.

 

Set Clear Boundaries

Boundaries are not walls. They are “yards” that protect your emotional well-being.

 

On his website, psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud says this:

“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. If I know where my yard begins and ends, I am free to do with it what I like.”

 

As we grow in our understanding of what Dr. Cloud teaches, we can learn to practice clear communication. For example, you could say, “I can’t continue this conversation if the tone remains hurtful.” You’re not rejecting the person; you’re setting a boundary around the harmful behavior.

 

You get to decide how you will be treated, so set clear boundaries. And this doesn’t have to be done with a jackhammer. You can state your desire simply and clearly, and with as much grace as you can muster. Which leads us to our next point…

 

Speak Truth with Grace

It’s tempting to either explode in anger or remain silent to avoid conflict. But we can be honest without being harsh. You don’t have to match the toxicity of the other person.

 

Try using “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming: “I feel hurt when my ideas are dismissed.” “I” statements can keep you from becoming defensive.

 

Holy confidence can be accessed here to graciously say what you need or want. And if you don’t feel equipped to have an exchange with someone, that moves us into our next idea…

 

Seek Wise Counsel

You don’t have to navigate this alone.

 

Seek out a trusted and wise friend, a mentor, a coach, or a therapist. Sometimes an outside perspective helps us see what we’re too close to recognize. A spiritual director can also help you discern how God might be inviting you to move through this relationship.

 

I have benefited greatly from trusted friends, my spiritual director, and my therapist. I have found more freedom and healing as I lean into my own dynamics. I not only know myself better, but I know how to communicate with others in a healthier way.

 

And if you don’t have access to or can’t afford this type of support, there are many books written on the topic of boundaries. And Dr. Henry Cloud is a foremost expert on this. Get the support you need.

 

Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior, it’s about releasing your heart from bitterness. You don’t have to continue to tolerate the bad behavior of others. You do get to choose not to let resentment control you.

 

Forgiveness sets you free and keeps bitterness at bay, even if the relationship remains complicated. Again, on this one you might need some support to make your way. The same support I mentioned in seeking wise counsel would apply here.

 

Dealing with difficult people is one of life’s hardest challenges, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. God is with you, offering wisdom, strength, and connection.

 

By knowing your worth, setting boundaries, speaking truth with grace, seeking wise counsel, and practicing forgiveness, you can engage these relationships with courage and compassion.

 

For Reflection: 

How do you feel about setting boundaries? What part do you struggle with?
How might you receive the invitation to acknowledge and work through the pain you have endured in a difficult relationship?
Which part of the process seems most helpful to you?
Talk to God about all of this and see where it leads you.

 

 

What if rest isn’t a luxury—but essential to your calling? In this episode of the Unhurried Living Podcast, Alan Fadling talks with Travis West, author of The Sabbath Way, about how Sabbath can renew leaders from the inside out. Far from being just a “day off,” Sabbath is a way of living that restores joy, deepens trust in God, and sustains our calling in a productivity-driven culture.

 

We’ll explore why Sabbath is a quiet but powerful form of leadership, how it reshapes our relationship with time, and why it’s key to resisting burnout. Whether you’re a pastor, ministry leader, or simply longing for a more unhurried pace with God, this conversation will inspire you to let grace set the pace.

 

In this episode:

Why Sabbath is more than a day of rest
How Sabbath restores joy, gratitude, and delight
The dangers of “false rest” and how to avoid them
Moving from urgency to abundance in leadership
Practical steps to start a Sabbath rhythm this week

 

#SabbathWay #TravisWest #SabbathRest #UnhurriedLiving #ChristianLeadership #SpiritualFormation #RestAndWork #LeadershipHealth #BurnoutRecovery #SlowDownToLead #MinistryLife #SoulCareForLeaders

 

For more help in practicing the Sabbath, visit Travis West’s website for a free resource at https://www.travis-west.com/practices.

 

Blog by Alan Fadling

1. The Fruitless Cost of Busyness

I’ve been recommending a more unhurried way of living and leading for years now. And I still cross paths with leaders who are drawn to this message but who carry a common concern: Will I still get things done? To be fair, I’ve wrestled with that question myself. But as I lean into the unhurried way of Jesus as I’ve come to understand it, I’ve come to believe that we often confuse busyness with fruitfulness—and in doing so, we miss the deeper invitation of Jesus.

 

2. What If Unhurried Work Is More Fruitful?

I wrote about this concern in An Unhurried Life in a chapter titled “Productivity: Unhurried Isn’t Lazy.” But some still hear the language of “unhurried” and can’t help assessing it as not quite productive enough.

 

In today’s article, and in a follow-up to it in a couple of weeks, I’ll share some insights from John 15 and from the writings of Wendell Berry that have helped me in this area. I want to help you envision an unhurried way of productivity that is also more sustainable. A way of productivity that is rooted not in frantic effort but in abiding presence and fruit that truly lasts.

 

Here's one conviction I’ve come to: We often radically overestimate the lasting value of busyness. Haven’t you ever gotten to the end of a busy day, a busy week, or a busy season and wondered if anything you did actually mattered in the end? That’s another way of asking, “Is what I’m busy doing going to have a lasting impact?”

 

3. Remaining in the Vine

Jesus seems to speak to this in a well-known Upper Room passage about a vine and its branches in John 15. Listen to these familiar sentences in view of our theme of work productivity:

 

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. (verse 4)

 

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (verse 5)

 

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. (verse 16)

 

Jesus is saying that it is impossible to be fruitful on our own. Only a life lived and work done in communion with Jesus is going to be eternally fruitful by the measure of God’s kingdom values. Apart from the vine, a branch withers. In the vine, the branch flourishes. It’s quite possible to be busy apart from Jesus, but it is absolutely impossible to be fruitful apart from him. And sometimes, it is exactly our busyness that is keeping us disconnected from Jesus.

 

4. Learning to Farm Like a Pastor

One source of encouragement in this way of thinking about kingdom productivity has come to me (and to many) from an unexpected source. I remember years ago reading Eugene Peterson and hearing him talk about one of his favorite authors, a Kentucky farmer and poet by the name of Wendell Berry. Berry writes a lot about sustainable farming in contrast to the decades-long trend toward the more mechanical, mass production orientation in farming we might call agribusiness.

 

Peterson basically says that as we read Berry’s writings, whenever Berry says “farmer,” we could think “pastor” instead. Whenever he says “farm,” we could think “church” or “ministry.” And you don’t have to be a religious leader to benefit from Berry’s wisdom. As I began reading Berry’s writing, this framework helped me hear his farming wisdom in my work life. It gave me a vision for productivity that was more organic and less like an assembly line.

 

I could share pages of quotations from Berry’s writings that have helped me. I have a library shelf full of his books. Instead, I’ve chosen one book titled Bringing It to the Table, which is a collection of essays subtitled “On Farming and Food.” I could recommend many of his other books, but this is a fine one to get a taste for his message, his values, and his priorities.

 

Let me share some lines from these essays and reflect aloud on the intersections I see between his vision of sustainable productivity and what I’m calling kingdom fruitfulness.

 

In this passage, Berry talks about the hidden costs of a certain sort of agricultural productivity: “We have been winning, to our inestimable loss, a competition against our own land and our own people. At present, what we have to show for this ‘victory’ is a surplus of food. But this is a surplus achieved by the ruin of its sources.”*

 

Berry’s point is this: High output from an industrial approach to farming has often come at the cost of ruining the land itself. The land needs increasing industrial inputs to keep up those levels of output.

 

In contrast, a more organic approach to farming allows the land to remain as healthy as it was before the planting—or even become more productive over time.

 

Do you see the parallel with our sometimes mass-production approach to our work? In my case, having worked in the field of ministry, we may celebrate rapid numerical growth, but we rarely hear about volunteer turnover or staff burnout that may be quietly fueling that growth. I hear those stories on the other end. I’ve seen more emergency sabbaticals in the past five years than in the previous two decades. Some leaders are profoundly weary.

 

Now, let me be clear: I’m not saying that all large ministries are automatically unwell. These dynamics show up in organizations of every size. And every ministry can do well, and can do better, regardless of its size.

 

When Jesus talks about productivity in John 15, he speaks of both quantity and quality: bearing much fruit and bearing fruit that will last. Kingdom productivity grows in quantity because of its quality. That’s how the early church grew. It’s hard to locate a strategic plan among those early church leaders. The church grew because they cultivated a contagious way of life. Their fruitfulness looked far more like an organic farm than a manufacturing plant.

 

In two weeks, I’ll continue sharing insights I’ve gained from Wendell Berry’s writings.

 

For Reflection:

Where in my life am I mistaking busyness for fruitfulness?
What practices help me remain connected to the Vine—especially in seasons of high output?
What kind of fruit am I bearing—and will it last?

 

*Wendell Berry, Bringing It to the Table (Counterpoint Press, 2009), p. 5.

 

 

 

 

For many of us, faith has been shaped by pressure to perform and produce. But in John 15, Jesus gives us another way: abiding in the True Vine. In this episode, Gem Fadling sits down with artist and author Bette Dickinson to explore how God as the loving Vinedresser leads us not toward exhaustion, but toward flourishing.

If you’ve felt weighed down by striving or longed for a slower, more organic spirituality, this conversation will help you rediscover a rooted, fruitful faith.

 

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

Why God’s primary concern isn’t productivity but flourishing

The difference between an industrial approach to faith and an organic one

How natural seasons reflect Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection

The meaning of abiding as our place of belonging and identity in Christ

How to trust fruit will emerge over time without forced busyness

 

Resources & References Mentioned:

The Art of Vinemaking: Flourishing in a Productivity-Driven Culture

Making Room in Advent by Bette Dickinson

John 15: The Vine and the Branches

About Today’s Guest – Bette Dickinson
Bette Dickinson is a prophetic artist, author, and contemplative guide. Through her writing, artwork, and teaching, she invites others to encounter God’s presence in embodied and imaginative ways. She is the author of The Art of Vinemaking and  Making Room in Advent: 25 Devotions for a Season of Wonder.

 

Blog by Gem Fadling

When I go in for my yearly well-woman checkup, I’m trusting my doctor to check all my systems and let me know if I’m healthy. But before I meet with her, a nurse comes in to check my vitals.

 

The nurse checks my blood pressure, weight, height, and pulse. I also receive an online questionnaire every year before my checkup. Multiple questions are asked about my family history, current physical ailments, sleep patterns, medications I’m taking, and more.

 

All of this information is used in evaluating my current physical state.

 

I do find it interesting that the nurse doesn’t listen to my heart. This important task is reserved for the doctor. The doctor wants to hear for herself what is going on with my breathing and my heartbeat, two critical systems.

 

Unsurprisingly, my medical team doesn’t do all this so they can judge me. They do it so they can assess my health and help me.

 

This idea came to mind as I was pondering the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23. For far too long, I thought of the fruit of the Spirit as a measuring stick to show me the ways in which I was not living up to God’s ideals: I’m not patient enough. What happened to my self-control? I should be more kind.

 

But the key word here is always fruit. Good fruit emerges when a tree or plant has been carefully tended—watered, fertilized, and nurtured. I don’t make apples; I tend the apple tree and fruit emerges. This is a much more compelling way to approach this.

 

If good fruit seems sparse in your life, it might be wise to assess, just like a doctor, what is going on in the state of your heart, mind, body, and soul.

 

Rather than seeing the fruit of the Spirit as a set of rules to keep or as a way for God to judge us, what if we instead saw it as a way of checking in with ourselves to see if how we are living is producing what we desire?

 

A good tree produces good fruit. I know it may be cheeky of me to say this, but if your fruit is sparse or rotting on the tree, it might be good to consider why.

 

Let’s look at Galatians 5:22-24 from The Message:

 

“But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

 

Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.”

 

The fruit of the Spirit is not about legalistically measuring yourself. It’s about noticing if good fruit is naturally emerging from within as you tend your own soul with God.

 

Like a doctor listening to your heartbeat, the fruit of the Spirit is a good indicator of the state of your spiritual health.

 

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

 

Like a gardener or farmer tending an orchard, how might you make space for this fruit to emerge? What kinds of practices would form you?

 

It’s always good to pause, notice, and get the support you need to graciously correct course. Remember, none of us are perfect. We are all making our way in-process. And yet, you can notice whether the Spirit’s attributes are showing up in your day-to-day life.

 

Give thanks for the progress you’ve made and make space to till the soil of your soul in places you notice are underdeveloped. All of this is done in love, grace, and kindness.

 

Let’s allow Galatians 5:25-26 to encourage us toward taking holy action:

 

“Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.” (Message)

 

For Reflection:

I offer here one reflection question per fruit. Notice how God is already at work in your life. I invite you to print this and use it during one of your next quiet times, sabbaths, or retreats.

 

Love: Where in my life am I being invited to extend love more freely or courageously, even when it feels hard?

 

Joy: What small or hidden joy might I be overlooking that is already present in my life today?

 

Peace: In what area of my life am I longing for peace, and how might I cooperate with God to cultivate it?

 

Patience: Who or what is teaching me patience right now, and how might I embrace that growth opportunity rather than resist it?

 

Kindness: Where could a simple act of kindness, even one that goes unseen, make a meaningful difference this week?

 

Goodness: How am I being invited to live with greater integrity and goodness, especially when no one else is watching?

 

Faithfulness: What is one area of my life where staying faithful feels challenging, and what encouragement might God be offering me to persevere?

 

Gentleness: Where in my life or relationships would a spirit of gentleness instead of force or control bring healing?

 

Self-control: What desire or impulse might I need to surrender more fully to God’s guidance to live more freely and wisely?

 

 

In this episode of the Unhurried Living Podcast, we explore the difference between work that flows from grace and love, and work that drains us because it’s fueled by fear, insecurity, or people-pleasing. Together we’ll talk about holy rhythms of work and rest, and what it looks like to return to the “easy yoke” of Jesus.

If you’ve been feeling weary, overextended, or caught in workaholism, this conversation offers hope: you can lead from rest rather than rush.

 

What You’ll Take Away from This Episode:

How to discern between grace-energized work and soul-draining drivenness.

Why busyness, according to Eugene Peterson, is not productivity but a form of laziness.

The danger of “false vines” that drain life rather than nourish it.

Small, sustainable practices for weaving sabbath and reflection into daily rhythms.

How contemplative practices root us in God’s presence so our work becomes overflow, not overextension.

 

Resources & References Mentioned in This Episode:

Subversive Spirituality by Eugene Peterson

New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton

The Sayings of the Desert Fathers (various translations available)

The Spiritual Life by Evelyn Underhill

Jesus’ teaching on the easy yoke (Matthew 11:28–30) and the vine and branches (John 15)

 

 

 

Blog by Alan Fadling

In my previous post, we explored the difference between a depth that is merely intellectual—knowing about God—and a depth that is relational, soulful, and transformative. True depth often grows in hidden, unseen places, much like the deep roots of a healthy tree. It’s not about accumulating more knowledge but cultivating a life of deeper communion with God. Here I want to explore what this greater relational depth looks like in the day-to-day rhythms of our lives. How do we move from a broad, extensive understanding of God to a deeper, more intimate experience with him?

 

I find that depth is hard to measure, much like the deep roots of a healthy, fruitful tree. We tend to not grow truly deep in public settings where we’re standing behind microphones, leading big meetings, or sharing our vast biblical knowledge. True depth in our lives takes time and happens invisibly for the most part, just like the underground growth of those tree roots.

 

The depth to which God invites us is a profound and transforming shift in our communion with him, in our relationships with others in his body, and in the character of our lives. It is an organic and living depth. It is a deep rootedness in the life and love of God. It is a depth that becomes visible through more and better fruit in our lives, our interactions, and our work.

 

I was recently reminded about this dynamic in the trajectory of our spiritual development while reading the classic book Prayer by Han Urs von Balthasar. In it he talks about cultivating a contemplative life of being prayerfully present with God. He sees a contemplative life as being rooted in seeking God and interacting with God. At one point he writes:

 

“Contemplation learns…to draw nourishment from less and less material as time goes on, as its ability grows to see and grasp depth and totality in the individual fragment. Sooner or later, by grace, it will be brought to the ’prayer of quiet,’ a prayer in which extension is replaced by the intensive dimension; the unstable, wide-ranging, discursive element of thought is replaced by a kind of intuition which takes in far more, at a single glance, than the beginner’s roving eye.”*

 

What is he talking about? Essentially, he’s saying there is a movement from wide to deep as we grow in faith. For example, there is something good in the spiritual practice of reading through the Bible in a year. I’ve done it many times. We gain that beautiful vision of the scope of what God has said and done over time. This is the “extensive” way that Von Balthasar speaks of.

 

Over time, though, we often find ourselves hungry and thirsty to go deeper with a few simple truths. Recently, I finished reading through The Message version of the Bible, which was gifted to me a few years ago by one of my sons. But it took me three years to make that journey. I slowed down. And I often stopped whenever a passage, even a line or a word, came alive for me in the moment.

 

I would pray that little passage back to God. I would sit in quiet and reflect on what it meant as it spoke to my life in the present season. I would imagine what that passage would look like in my lived-out experience that day. The extensive approach of my early years of faith is beginning to be replaced by a more intensive way of engaging with God.

 

Might God be inviting you today not just to go wider in your knowledge of him but to go deeper in your way of being with him? Maybe the depth we seek is less about accumulating still more information and more about allowing what we already know to shape us more profoundly. I often remark how it seems that God is just helping me remember what I already know!

 

What would it look like for you to embrace a more rooted, relational, and receptive depth in your own life? Maybe it starts with a simple shift—slowing down as you engage with Scripture, paying closer attention to the movements of God in your heart, or being more fully present to the people in your life.

 

My encouragement to you is this: Don’t settle for just knowing more. Let what you know lead you into deeper communion, deeper love, and deeper trust. Because in the end, true depth isn’t measured by how much we learn but by how much we’re being transformed.

 

For Reflection:

Where in your current walk with God do you sense an invitation to slow down—moving from “covering more ground” to going deeper in a single insight?
What is one simple truth or Scripture you already know that you could sit with more prayerfully this week, allowing it to shape your way of being?
How might you become more attentive to the quiet, unseen ways God is forming deep roots in you—even when there’s little outward evidence?

 

*Hans Urs von Balthasar, Prayer, trans. by Graham Harrison (Ignatius Press, 1955, 1986), p. 131.

 

 

What’s the difference between rushing through a city and truly receiving it? In this episode of the Unhurried Living Podcast, Gem Fadling talks with Lauren Mouat—a writer, instructor, and licensed tour guide based in Tuscany, about how to travel with intention, depth, and presence.

Lauren, originally from California, moved to Rome more than a decade ago and now leads tours through her company, Unlock Italy. With humor, eloquence, and a gift for storytelling, she doesn’t just share history facts she invites people into the stories, beauty, and humanity of the places they visit.

In this conversation, Gem and Lauren explore:

Why stories make travel experiences more meaningful

The difference between “checking boxes” and traveling at a soulful pace

Practices like journaling, walking, and stillness that deepen connection

How to resist hurry and savor beauty, curiosity, and wonder

Ways to stay present and be moved by the places we encounter

Whether you’re planning your next trip or simply longing to live more mindfully where you are, this episode will inspire you to slow down, notice, and receive life as a gift.

👉 Subscribe for more conversations about slowing down, living fully, and leading with grace.

#MindfulTravel #UnhurriedLivingPodcast #Italy #SlowTravel #SpiritualFormation #IntentionalLiving

 

 

Blog by Gem Fadling

At a recent PACE spiritual formation and leadership retreat, I experienced an unexpected moment of public vulnerability.

 

On this particular day, I was scheduled to teach in the morning. After breakfast, I went back to my room to freshen up before facilitating the session.

 

On the way from my room to the meeting space, I pulled out my phone to see if I had any messages. Our family text thread popped up, where one of my sons shared that he had been unexpectedly laid off. His company was extensively downsizing, and over half of his department had been let go.

 

The message was short, but his words pierced my heart: “I am devastated.” Of course he was. He had been at the company from its earliest days, and he had worked his way up to a wonderful position. Unfortunately, many such tech companies are in market correction mode these days.

 

As a mother, hearing my son’s sadness felt like a gut punch. All of this happened in the two minutes it took to walk from my bedroom to the meeting space. I could feel the sadness and the tears welling up inside. I love my son so much, and I never want to see any of my children suffer in any way. I know that everyone has to go through life’s bumps and left turns, but it’s difficult to watch as a parent.

 

I arrived in the meeting room a couple minutes early and mentioned what had happened to the handful of people who were already there. We began the meeting, and since I was facilitating it, I had no choice but to speak through my tears.

 

So I shared a brief version of the story and we transitioned into a time of worship. I thought I could pull myself together, but the worship was so heartfelt that it just inflamed my sadness. As I transitioned us into prayer and began to move toward my teaching time, my tears continued to flow.

 

I suppose if I had really tried, I could have stuffed down my feelings, set them aside, and forced myself into a different mode. But I'm in a season of life where dividing myself like that just doesn’t work as well as it used to.

 

And so I decided to be a human being and offer myself to the group just as I was. I knew I was in a room full of mature, heart-forward, experienced leaders and friends. They received me with such grace.

 

Rest assured, I did not overwhelm them with my issues in an unhealthy way. I simply shared with them about my sadness and asked for their patience as I spoke with a lump in my throat. They graciously offered to pause and pray for our son, and then we continued on with the meeting.

 

A few weeks later, as I was processing this moment with my spiritual director, I found myself saying, “I did not have another self to pull out to lead the meeting.” I actually like that.

 

I will agree up front that it is never a good idea to overshare or to overwhelm people unnecessarily. I do, however, believe in being appropriately vulnerable. I think people appreciate when leaders act like human beings.

 

It can be easy to think that leadership looks like being perfect, not having any issues, or being strong and invulnerable. This is a very American attitude and is common in the culture I live in.

 

But I believe healthy vulnerability is an asset, and a leader receiving the gracious prayers of the community is a good thing. It is good to journey alongside others by sharing in appropriately vulnerable ways.

 

Healthy vulnerability builds trust and connection. Here’s how:

 

It fosters trust and authenticity. When I practice appropriate vulnerability, I create an atmosphere of trust. People are more likely to open up and engage when they see that I am not hiding behind a false sense of perfection. Authenticity cultivates connection, making space for honest conversations and deeper relationships within a community. 

 

It models growth and resilience. Vulnerability allows me to demonstrate that struggles and challenges are a natural part of life. When I share how I navigate difficulties with faith, wisdom, and resilience, I give others permission to embrace their own growth process. This kind of leadership is not about weakness but about showing strength with humility and grace. 

 

It invites others into a shared journey. People don’t just want an idealized leader to follow; they want a fellow traveler. When leaders are seen as real human beings, with hopes, fears, and struggles, others feel less alone. It shifts the dynamic from top-down leadership to a shared, grace-filled journey where everyone is learning and growing together.

 

In all the groups I’ve facilitated at trainings and retreats, I have found all of this to be true. People appreciate authenticity, humility, a healthy sense of vulnerability, and lived grace.

 

I have greater trust for a leader who shares from their heart and their life experience. I enjoy connecting with someone as a companion along the way far more than a pulled-together persona.

 

I know it might be difficult for some of us to lean into healthy vulnerability. However, I believe it’s possible to move toward it no matter where you find yourself. Some of us will find this easier than others, but we can each take steps toward opening ourselves in healthy and appropriate ways as we journey alongside those we serve.

 

For Reflection: 

How do you connect with the idea of healthy vulnerability? Is it easy or difficult for you?
What is one small step you might take toward being more open with others so they feel a fitting sense of connection to your real life that moves past any sense of persona?
How might the people around you respond as you learn to become more appropriately open?

 

What if you could hear the Psalms and Proverbs as if for the very first time? In this episode of the Unhurried Living Podcast, Alan Fadling talks with Terry Wildman, Ojibwe and Yaqui follower of Jesus, storyteller, musician, and lead translator of the First Nations Version (FNV).

Terry has spent decades sharing Creator’s story in ways that resonate with Indigenous hearts. After the widely embraced release of the FNV New Testament in 2021, he and a translation council of over 20 tribes have now brought the beauty, rhythm, and imagery of Native American storytelling to Psalms and Proverbs.

In this conversation, Alan and Terry explore:

How oral tradition opens fresh ways of hearing Scripture

The relational names for God, like Great Spirit and Grandfather

Why Psalms and Proverbs were chosen as the next FNV project

How this translation speaks to Indigenous and non-Indigenous readers alike

Practical ways to let Scripture slow you down and deepen your walk with God

If you long to encounter the Psalms and Proverbs in a way that stirs your soul and draws you into deeper communion with God, this episode will inspire you.

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