Ailsa Abraham's Blog: Ailsa Abraham

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Source: Russian Artist Inserts Her Fat Cat Into Iconic Paintings | Bored Panda

Exploratory Vessel Earth to Base, over

Come in EVE.

Hi Astro Space Programme. I have deposited samples on the new planet. Further instructions? Over.

Thanks EVE. All vegetal and animal forms in place? Over

Affirmative.

That fruit the Director said to mark with the Forbidden smell – is that done?

(interference)

Broken comms, EVE – repeat.

Commander here, I left that task to Lieutenant Adams.  He placed the fruit with the others.

Thanks EVE – just ensuring I can tick all tasks done.

Affirmative ASP – all in place as instructed.

The Commander turned to her assistant  “You did mark that fruit as keep away, didn’t you? Ah well – no worries. What harm can a blasted fruit do? Let’s go home – Andromeda nebula please computer.”

THIS ! Stop the snobbery –

Vanessa Couchman

Something happened recently on social media that both annoyed and saddened me. The details aren’t important, but the message is: that a stigma still attaches to self-published books as opposed to those published by small or traditional publishers. But are self-pubbed books really so terrible?

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I sit up here a lot, spose you could call it “my space” so you will understand why I was a bit miffed when it got invaded last week. Now I’m a corvid and a lot brighter than most other avians but you couldn’t call me stuck up or stand offish.

I’ll share my wire with anyone, even pigeons wot are stupidest birds in the wurld. But I put my claws down when it comes to humans – don’t get me wrong, some of them are OK in their way and I did know a couple of nice ones who fixed my wing up for me when I had an accident down the pub (yeah, right, my mum did tell me about hanging around the beer garden and drinking out of the pint mugs but I didn’t listen)

But to find this individual making himself very much at home thank you on MY wire in my spot, stuck in my crawwwww caw caw caw …. excuse me cough cough.

This bod didn’t seem bothered to be there and took no notice of me apart from saying “Wotcher Corry” and closing one eye at me. I risked a think-shout to him “Wot doing?” and he heard me, obligingly angling his bit of paper so I could see pictures.

He read out the stories and I am not sure if he was making them up or humans really ARE that stupid. They make pigeons seem quite bright. So I gripped the wire and chuckled to myself as I listened.

And you know what? My wife didn’t believe me when I went home and told her I’d been reading the paper with a bloke on a phone wire! She thought I’d been to the beer garden again!!!! Stone the crows …. but not me.

I stood on the platform, looking past my bound ankles to the fire beneath. I caught the eye of the Witchfinder who was striding triumphantly around the piled-up wood. He laughed, thinking me terrified but I smiled at him, knowing I wasn’t.

This was as unjust and stupid as his “examination” of suspected witches. The whole game was entirely wrong and only served to visit pain and suffering on the innocent.

Those of us who were real witches, Daughters of the Goddess, knew how to cope but the poor women accused by jealous neighbours … did not. Even this execution only killed the poor bitches. Those of us wise in the ways of the path could fall face-first onto the hot coals and disappear in smoke but not die.

I stared at the glowing coals and saw them as red roses – they would throw me into the roses all bound and my shadow would slip away. No, this village would see me no more but die. That was the very last thing I would do!

[image error]I is jellus. Lily made out she is lookin after everyone and you all said nicies to her.

But who you fink is making all the kittens? Piston and Maigret have been to vet so not make babies but we all gone around villidge telling every cat that our place is good for food n cuddles.

Dis why we have so many friends. Some are my babies others are my pals an gurlfrendz. Not lots of homes so good to cats and not all dogs are kind like Lily. Mum n Dad are always ready with bowl of grub and pick up cuddle or stroke. An Mum have special yowl she do when giving us food …. is called “You gotta give a cuddle or two”

Just so you know it not Lily doing evvithing xxxx prrrrrrrrrrrr

[image error]  Hello Mumz frenz – here is Lily again!  I am using puter cos mum hav bad back and is looking aftur dad wot is not well and going vet a lot.

Me? I am looking after evvibuddi – taking hoomungs out for walks as is good for them, also being alarm on door when cats want in …. Mum not always hear when they knocking on door and need someone to bark ….. bit like men wiff parcels!

Wot i not unnerstan is how I keep making babies!!!!! It seem every time I go sleep there is new baby in house! An it always kitten – never puppy!!!!!!!But Mum give me wubbly head and say “New Lily babby” so I get to look after it.  No mind, keep me out of trouble and we make procession when going out with me n mum in front an gang of cats following. Wher is Hamlinn anyway?????

Hello Friends. Come and grab a seat, pour a coffee, it’s on the stove and give Lily a quick cuddle, she’ll only pester you if you don’t.[image error] So I have been absent on FB and Twitter for a while following an unfortunate outburst by a rather sick woman.

No matter, that is all over and I can bring you all up to speed with Badger and his post- stroke recovery. He is doing OK. To say that his 80th birthday is next month I think he is doing marvellously.

As I am not needed to be at his shoulder every minute we have agreed that I can go back to writing which is great as I want to do the next in the military police boys’ series. I am buying Badger a large school bell with which to summon me if I am upstairs in my office and he needs me or is unable to shout.

[image error] I am still needed to be here as he has wobbly moments and if he is going to hit the floor it is better that someone is around to phone for help.

We are quietly sharing around the jobs with me doing my best not to make him feel useless. I don’t know how much better he will get but as he is now is fine. The only prognosis he has had from his specialist is “the next one will kill you” – Gee that is nice!

I am looking forward to the future and have a feeling that next year is going to be a good one. My best wishes to everyone for the Festives xoxoxxoo [image error]

Am I weird or what? If I dislike someone or something I react by avoiding it. I can’t expect everybody to be MY kind of people so if I can’t get on with them (rare), I just keep out of their way.

It’s a bit like food – I am not keen on meat so I don’t order it in restaurants. Get the idea? I just keep out of the way of what displeases me.

So why, on antisocial media do people hang around for years pretending to be pals and then suddenly hit you with what they really feel about you???? It hasn’t made me feel good and I can only assume that the person concerned wanted to hurt me badly and now feels good about it.

Do me a favour, everyone – if you find me unpleasant, unacceptable or just a git ….. get out of my blasted way. I don’t expect you to read my posts so sod off. Thank you.[image error]