I sit up here a lot, spose you could call it “my space” so you will understand why I was a bit miffed when it got invaded last week. Now I’m a corvid and a lot brighter than most other avians but you couldn’t call me stuck up or stand offish.

I’ll share my wire with anyone, even pigeons wot are stupidest birds in the wurld. But I put my claws down when it comes to humans – don’t get me wrong, some of them are OK in their way and I did know a couple of nice ones who fixed my wing up for me when I had an accident down the pub (yeah, right, my mum did tell me about hanging around the beer garden and drinking out of the pint mugs but I didn’t listen)

But to find this individual making himself very much at home thank you on MY wire in my spot, stuck in my crawwwww caw caw caw …. excuse me cough cough.

This bod didn’t seem bothered to be there and took no notice of me apart from saying “Wotcher Corry” and closing one eye at me. I risked a think-shout to him “Wot doing?” and he heard me, obligingly angling his bit of paper so I could see pictures.

He read out the stories and I am not sure if he was making them up or humans really ARE that stupid. They make pigeons seem quite bright. So I gripped the wire and chuckled to myself as I listened.

And you know what? My wife didn’t believe me when I went home and told her I’d been reading the paper with a bloke on a phone wire! She thought I’d been to the beer garden again!!!! Stone the crows …. but not me.