Kenneth G. Ortiz's Blog: My Poetry

Do not wallow in the sorrow
Turn the negative into positive
Make music out of your anger
Undo the hurt that was built up
Release the demons from your heart
Let go of the past and look forward to the future
Cleanse thyself and make yourself whole
Never let anything hold you down
Stand tall for you are strong

1st Impression
I am a sad clown
I live with an internal frown
When people first look into my eyes
All they see is an evil demise
Someone they can't take serious
To them my intelligence is oblivious
So I act the fool
Just to be cool
For if they only knew
Anything about me
They would see
That I am nothing what I appear to be
I am a gentle soul
Living in a hole
Awaiting the day that I can be let out
And greet the world with a shout
I am very humble
Please remove me from that label
That everyone thinks of me
Please give me a chance and get to know me

Sitting here with my gun on my lap
Should I blow my brains out
Or should I eat a bullet
I can hang myself with a noose
Cut my wrist
Up the river not across the tracks
Light myself on fire
Drown myself to put out the flames
Drop an appliance to electrify the water
As I leap off a bridge into the river
To help these pills go down easier
As death consumes my mind
I laugh the laughter of the mad Within
I am already dead
Fuck the world
And all in it
There is no turning back now
I am a harden soul
For I cannot die
As many times as I've tried
I must face the fact
That I will die when I am dead

Out of sight
Out of mind
Thoughts of you are gone with the wind
The lack of your presence
Makes feelings fade
Repressed memories
As I sit in the place that we have built
I can not stand the sight of this place anymore
The emptiness within these walls
Represents the emptiness within me
Wearing my big boy pants
I get off my ass
And begin to live life again
This is the final time I fall

Trying to stay up
When all is crashing down
Have to keep my composure
So I won't lose myself
For I am all that I have left
Abandoned by all
I remain in the corner
Where I was placed
Feeling like the dunce I am
I fooled myself
Into thinking this time would be different
It is not my fault
The way things turned out
All odds against me
But what else is new
I remain alive
But within I'm dead
My only friend
Lives in the chamber of my gun
One day we will meet
And forever keep each other company
In eternal sleep

Tired of all the shit in my head
I want to shoot myself dead
No matter what I do
Its the wrong thing for you
With all my love
I wish I was in the heavens above
Stress filled mind about to snap
Tired of being in this mouse trap
Bending over backwards
You hear nothing but negativity within my words
At my wits end
No further can I bend
Killing me softly with your actions
On day I will wind up in traction

Deep within thought
Of all that has been said
And all that has been done
Fuck you D
For telling me all the things that I already knew
Thank you for being a friend
I love you
As I piece myself back together
I focus on what I was supposed to in the first place
Moving forward in life
Achieving new plateaus
To be a better person than what I was the day before
Elevating my consciousness
Going back to my roots
To where my dreams began
To restart the life that I left behind
And make it anew
Let's see where it goes this time out

Sitting here with a gun to my head
Kill the physical because within
I'm already dead Listening to Kurt Cobain
I want to splatter my brain
Against the wall
And make a Andy Warhol
Is the end My only friend
Strong is what I'm trying to be
To once again be we
But I don't know what to do
Running around here lost without you

I act before I think
I leap before I look
Looking towards the future
I neglect the present
Full steam ahead I press forward
On the endeavors
That I have for taken
The past is done
The present is hard
But my future I promise
Will be bright
Those who support me now
Will be there in my future
Those who doubt me
Get out of the way
And watch me shine
And when
I'm on top
Don't wonder why
You're not there
A friend with weed Is a friend in deed
But if your not here for me
Then I can not be there for you
So a toast I make
For the future
Because I know
I will make it
And live the life
That I know I should live

Feeling so stuck
High as fuck
Toking on this muck
This shit is above the ruck
I'm almost out of luck
My supply has ran amuck
Another plant I must shuck
Before I become amok
To once again get struck
By the bud I pluck
Wish I had it by the truck
So at no time life would suck
And blunts I can forever tuck