Maggie Swann's Blog: Maggie's blog - Posts Tagged "cannabis"

I began writing my book "Get real mum, everybody smokes cannabis" to try to make sense of the situation I’d been thrown into when I suddenly found out that my son had got in trouble with the police because of his addiction to cannabis. My sister and her colleague, who was to become my son’s counsellor, urged me to write down my feelings and worries, as in the beginning I found the whole thing overwhelming. I couldn’t believe that I’d been so blind to what was happening with my son, and the length of time it had been going on for. I couldn’t talk about it to anybody outside the immediate family and burst into floods of tears at the drop of a hat.
Instead of being my usual talkative self, I became withdrawn, regularly fabricating ways to get out of situations where I would be forced to lie about the state of my life, and my son in particular. I found the drivel conversation at work depressingly annoying and couldn’t even join in with such pointless banter, harmless as it was. Had they no idea about real life? Didn’t they know what was going on in the world? Were they blind, just like I’d been?
My colleagues had no idea what was happening in my life; why should they, I hadn’t uttered a word. My mind was constantly on edge, worried sick about what was going to happen next. I just tried to get on with work, blanking out the conversations, and trying to retain a level of dignity in my life when in reality it was diminishing fast.
The book grew out of a need to write things down; to piece together the jigsaw that could easily ruin my son’s life. As my eyes were opened to this unfamiliar world, I came to understand the scale of the problem. Drugs were commonplace within the teenage community and I wondered how many young lives were being tarnished by them. Drug abuse so easily spirals into a life of crime and, once on that treadmill, it is difficult to get off.
I am not an expert on narcotics, far from it. My knowledge of drugs was negligible until I started on this life-changing journey. Drugs have never been part of my world and I was blissfully unaware of the propensity of drugs in the community. But now, through experience, I know the devastation that drug use can cause to a family and I wonder how many parents are suffering in silence, confused by the volatility of their children and by the abuse and violence that may have entered their world.
The topic is taboo. But we need to talk about it, to bring the whole issue out into the open so that parents know what to look for, know the warning signs and can nip the problem in the bud before it has the opportunity to flourish and grow and take hold of our children’s lives before they have chance to really live them.
When drug use begins to affect our lives, as parents, we don’t say anything, because we know that people will judge us, as well as our children. Ignorance breeds ignorance and unless the problem is talked about it will fester and grow.
If, through these words, other parents are alerted to the growing danger of drugs in their children’s lives, then it will have been worth writing it all down. Once the can of worms is opened, there’s no escaping the clues that are all around, but whilst the can is out of sight with the lid secured, the silent disease of drug addiction is infecting a generation.
The devastation that cannabis has caused in my family alone is enormous. The lobbying to legalise cannabis may help to put an end to the ‘criminalisation’ of the drug, but it won’t help in the fight against the depression, anxiety, paranoia and mental illness that results from prolonged use. Cannabis isn’t a harmless recreational drug. It’s a dangerous substance that is creating a generation of potentially lethal young people.
Please read the book and pass it on, so that more eyes are opened to the time bomb ticking away, right under our noses.Get Real, Mum, Everybody Smokes Cannabis!Maggie Swann

I was delighted when Dominic Ruffy from the Amy Winehouse Foundation offered to write the foreward to my book. The main reason for writing "Get real mum, everybody smokes cannabis" was to try and help other families to become aware of the dangers of drug abuse, especially in relation to teenagers and young adults.
The Amy Winehouse Foundation was set up to do just that and, along with counselling organisations such as www.12steprehab.co.uk they are really beginning to make an impact on the lives of young addicts. But there is a long way to go.

This is what Dominic wrote: ‘It’s a little odd, reading a book written by a parent who has suffered at the hands of her son through his addiction to cannabis. It’s a little odd because for many years I was that son myself, wantonly tearing my way through my family’s love, affection, money, patience and peace of mind.

And I didn’t even think I had a problem. To tell you the truth I thought my problems started once I had discovered crack cocaine and heroin some 15 years after my first joint of cannabis at a party when I was 14 years old.

Even then I had no conception of the torment and pain I was causing my family, that I had in-fact caused them from the day they realised my life was being controlled by the drugs I was taking.

I couldn’t understand what the problem was when I was younger – “It’s only cannabis Mum” was one of my politer come backs when my back was against the wall as a teenager, usually because I had yet again stolen money from her or my fathers wallet to buy some more weed(a charge I fervently denied by the way).

When I wasn’t feeling so polite – when I was paranoid or tired or depressed – my responses ranged from screaming the house down whilst aptly demonstrating my wide knowledge of profanities, to threatening them with the family air rifle or whatever lay immediately within my reach at that time.

My family had no-one to talk to, no one to share this stuff with and lived a living hell for the next 20 years of their lives.

Those 20 long years later I was sat in my third rehabilitation centre in the midst of a ‘family conference’, and there I learnt that yes, the crack was the most financially destructive drug I ever took, the heroin turned me into a zombie but it was the cannabis, the weed, the skunk that left my mother living in fear of me on a day to day basis. I couldn’t understand that then, but when I look back now with some clarity of mind and a small piece of recovery under my belt, I know that it is true….

Cannabis destroyed me from the day I started taking it. Not only was it my gateway to a life that was to be fuelled by getting high but it was the drug that changed me from a polite, loving if a little wayward 14 year old into a uncontrollable monster.

I couldn’t understand my family’s ignorance, as I saw it, to the facts about weed – its harmless, everybody does it – and therefore I could not connect with the damage I was doing to them emotionally.

That someone has chosen to share her story, from a parent’s point of view, about what it is like living with a ‘me’, is a gift to society that should be welcomed with open arms.

I pray this book is nothing more than a voyeuristic read for you, but if becomes or already is a reality in your life today then now you know you’re not alone, and it is OK to talk.”

Dominic Ruffy
Programme Manager, Drug and Alcohol Awareness,
The Amy Winehouse Foundation

I have read many books that are helping in the fight against addiction. Here are just a few which have made a big impact on my understanding of the disease.
A Million Little PiecesDrinking: A Love Story
Mum, Can You Lend Me Twenty Quid?: What Drugs Did to My FamilyAmy, My Daughter

Well it’s been a few months since my book was published and I’m pleased to say that it has slowly started to sell! As this is my first go at writing I really didn’t know what to expect, but I had been warned that it’s a slow process.....a very slow process!
As I explained earlier, I wrote the book to help other parents in a similar situation to myself, with teenagers who may be starting to experiment with drugs. Feedback has been great so far, with many parents saying that they had no idea what to look for or what the tell-tale signs of drug use were. Some have said that they feel much more informed after reading the book, which is exactly what I wanted to hear!
The addiction counsellor who helped my son get back on track has begun to use my book with other families he is working with, so slowly but surely the book is doing its job. It seems that everybody knows somebody who is affected by drug abuse. It could be somebody in their immediate family, a distant relative, a neighbour, a work colleague, but everybody knows somebody and the problem is growing!
I’m working on a couple of other writing projects at the moment which will hopefully tackle the same issue from a different perspective. I’m looking forward to telling you more in the very near future!
Thank you for reading....
Maggie