I began writing my book "Get real mum, everybody smokes cannabis" to try to make sense of the situation I’d been thrown into when I suddenly found out that my son had got in trouble with the police because of his addiction to cannabis. My sister and her colleague, who was to become my son’s counsellor, urged me to write down my feelings and worries, as in the beginning I found the whole thing overwhelming. I couldn’t believe that I’d been so blind to what was happening with my son, and the length of time it had been going on for. I couldn’t talk about it to anybody outside the immediate family and burst into floods of tears at the drop of a hat.
Instead of being my usual talkative self, I became withdrawn, regularly fabricating ways to get out of situations where I would be forced to lie about the state of my life, and my son in particular. I found the drivel conversation at work depressingly annoying and couldn’t even join in with such pointless banter, harmless as it was. Had they no idea about real life? Didn’t they know what was going on in the world? Were they blind, just like I’d been?
My colleagues had no idea what was happening in my life; why should they, I hadn’t uttered a word. My mind was constantly on edge, worried sick about what was going to happen next. I just tried to get on with work, blanking out the conversations, and trying to retain a level of dignity in my life when in reality it was diminishing fast.
The book grew out of a need to write things down; to piece together the jigsaw that could easily ruin my son’s life. As my eyes were opened to this unfamiliar world, I came to understand the scale of the problem. Drugs were commonplace within the teenage community and I wondered how many young lives were being tarnished by them. Drug abuse so easily spirals into a life of crime and, once on that treadmill, it is difficult to get off.
I am not an expert on narcotics, far from it. My knowledge of drugs was negligible until I started on this life-changing journey. Drugs have never been part of my world and I was blissfully unaware of the propensity of drugs in the community. But now, through experience, I know the devastation that drug use can cause to a family and I wonder how many parents are suffering in silence, confused by the volatility of their children and by the abuse and violence that may have entered their world.
The topic is taboo. But we need to talk about it, to bring the whole issue out into the open so that parents know what to look for, know the warning signs and can nip the problem in the bud before it has the opportunity to flourish and grow and take hold of our children’s lives before they have chance to really live them.
When drug use begins to affect our lives, as parents, we don’t say anything, because we know that people will judge us, as well as our children. Ignorance breeds ignorance and unless the problem is talked about it will fester and grow.
If, through these words, other parents are alerted to the growing danger of drugs in their children’s lives, then it will have been worth writing it all down. Once the can of worms is opened, there’s no escaping the clues that are all around, but whilst the can is out of sight with the lid secured, the silent disease of drug addiction is infecting a generation.
The devastation that cannabis has caused in my family alone is enormous. The lobbying to legalise cannabis may help to put an end to the ‘criminalisation’ of the drug, but it won’t help in the fight against the depression, anxiety, paranoia and mental illness that results from prolonged use. Cannabis isn’t a harmless recreational drug. It’s a dangerous substance that is creating a generation of potentially lethal young people.
Please read the book and pass it on, so that more eyes are opened to the time bomb ticking away, right under our noses.Get Real, Mum, Everybody Smokes Cannabis!Maggie Swann