Wendy Stanphill's Blog

I can remember as a child loving the first day of summer vacation. I got to sleep in, have a lazy day just reading or watching a tv show, going out after dinner to ride my bike, and then staying up past my school year bedtime. It was a quiet and peaceful day that helped me prepare for the chaos to come.
After that first day, my life became a whirlwind of going to golf tournaments, band practices, my mom's endless errands in town (we lived about 45 minutes from every store she needed to go to), tennis practice, and of course the dreaded summer chore list.
It's funny because by the end of summer when my friends were upset or disappointed that we would have to go back to school, I was ready to go because I needed a break!
Now, as I do the same process to my children I can see the logic of my mom. It isn't easy to keep my kids entertained or motivated. We all need to be up and active but to be honest I let them sleep a little later than my mom did mostly because I like my quiet time in the mornings.
So, everyone have a great summer! Enjoy what little down time you have (I am currently collecting my teacher overtime even though I am already working on ideas for this fall... and have to go to a mountain load of trainings), and most importantly, keep writing!

I am a huge music fan (well, of the music I like anyway) and for the past week I keep coming back to one song. The song ( a Christian song by Third Day) talks about how and I quote " The only way we'll ever stand is on our knees with lifted hands..." and that line has been stuck in my head for about two weeks now. This is such a hectic time for many of us with children (or those who work with them). My kids are getting ready for summer vacation and all that goes with it and so are my students. To be quite honest- so am I! But this song keeps reminding me that no matter what's going on, how stressed I am or if I feel as though chaos has become my new partner in life that because of my faith and my personal beliefs all I have to do is call out and let it go. I hope everyone has a wonderful last few weeks of sanity before summer vacation hits!

Just when you feel life has settled down and your roots are starting to sink, a storm blows in and redirects your path. When my husband got out of the military, we felt as though we were finally going to settle down and just be... however that just wasn't in the cards for us this time. Now, we are packing up and heading back to the midwest that we have called home more times than I can count and Lord willing it will be the last move we ever have to make.
For now, its hard to pack up even though the entire family is excited about this next step because we are leaving the first home we have ever had. The kids will miss their friends and will yet again be the new kids in school. I am sure my kiddo's will do just fine with this move because the area we are moving to offers them so much more than where we are now.
As for me, I will continue to write and prepare for my career in teaching (as soon as I transfer my license) and make a home for my family. This time when we set down the roots, I am digging the hole about six feet deep so they will be to hard to come up.

The whirlwind that is life has taken me on such a ride but I think it is going to die down for a bit now... Yeah right! My second book has been slow coming due to my Master's program (which will be done by this coming April!!!!) and personally, I feel like I was on a teacup ride and my body is going one way and my mind the other.
Last month, we found out that my dad has cancer. It's in the very early stages and we feel very blessed that the doctors found it so early and he will be starting treatment in the next two weeks but it was still such a shock. My dad has been my rock for as long as I can remember. He mostly passed this stability over to my husband, but I am still a daddy's girl at heart. (I can only hope that both of my girls feel that way about my husband when the time comes.)
Now its my turn to be there for him and I can only pray that I can be the strong person he needs me to be. The news hit hard because three years ago on New Years Eve, we lost my grandfather to cancer after his 18 month fight.
What I have learned from this is that now matter how crazy, hectic, and wonderful life has been or will be, we need to learn to live in the moment. To take each small, everyday life moment to tell those we love how we feel and not to dwell on the long term.

There are days when I sit back in my chair to write or read and realize that what I think is just a few minutes of down time has turned into a couple of hours. Then the other day, I turned around to talk to my oldest daughter and she is almost at eye level with me when it seemed like she barely reached my shoulders just a few days before.
So much goes on in our lives everyday that it seems to be happening so much faster than I want it too. Last night, I was working on an assignment for my Master's class and it hit me that we are almost halfway through the 4th month of this year already and it blew my mind. I had such great plans that I wanted to do with my kids while it was still winter and now it's almost time to plant our garden. Plus, now they both have birthdays coming up soon and I will no longer be able to say I have two little girls because my oldest will hit double digits.
For their birthday, I write them a letter to keep in a scrapbook so when they turn 18 they will know what they were like when they were younger. I have been trying to write these now for a couple of weeks and every time I try I almost can't stand to even think about it. Am I excited for them to grow up and explore life to the fullest- absolutely. Does it make me just a little sad to see them doing that- of course but not too much. I used to feel bad about that too. I would hear so many friends being sad about their kids growing up and becoming adults and how they weren't sure what they are going to do when it happens that at every milestone they would break down into tears. I'm just not that mom.
I want my girls to live life the way they feel lead to do. I want them to be strong in who they are and not afraid to fail at something. I want them to be excited to go to college or tech school and find something they would love to do and then do it for as long as they are able. I want them to find love, have children (if they want too), and experience all that life has to offer. My hope is that they will come back to me someday and say,"Mom, thanks for always wanting something more for me," because if they have the desire and want to make their lives shine, then I feel that I can look back and say- I did my best for them- and I won't be sad about that.

I don't know about anyone else but this winter has taken its toll on me. One day, the weather is normal for here (about 34 to 40) then the next day it's -11 with a wind chill of -22. I am not complaining about the cold because, you know, it is winter. But all of this cold and the evil white fluffy stuff (the real name shall not be mentioned because then it will come back!) has made for a lot of missed school days for my girls. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my children dearly but they are driving me bananas! First, they have this unnatural need to eat all the time and I don't mean they nibble, I mean they eat- Everything! Then, even though school is cancelled because it is frostbite causing cold outside, they still want to go and play in the fluffy white stuff. Hello small child- if you can't go out for school, you can't go out to play. Then there is the old "I'm bored" game. They have toys, puzzles, books, and many other distractions (except for cable because- well there are too many reasons to list them all) but why would they want to do that! But, I was told by a very reliable source (my momma) that I did the same thing at their age so I guess payback really does suck.
I am aware that staying inside the house stinks but I am stuck too. My husband escapes to go to work (luck man!) but that's about it. I find myself getting up really early and staying up late working on my school work (because online masters program people don't get snow days ya know). But it looks like tomorrow we are finally going back to school and I know it will be a wonderful day for all. The only problem now is that I will have to put on "real clothes" instead of pajama pants, an old t-shirt, and house shoes. Oh the sacrifices I have to make to feel my version of normal again.

In a couple of weeks, our once semi-clean house will become a hazard site as the girls open up their presents. We don't give them very many because as most parents know, the older they are the more expensive everything is, but its a good amount for them.
What I notice now as I look at the calendar is how quickly the days seem to go. It gets dark about 5 or 5:30 and I just want to cuddle down on the couch with a book and the next thing I know it's morning. I don't remember time going this quickly when I was younger. The few weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas felt so long and I wanted a break where I could sleep in and play with toys all day. But the most shocking aspect of how fast time goes is seeing my girls grow up so fast.
At the doctors office the other day, they measured both of them and they were only about a foot and a few inches shorter than me! By this time next year, our oldest will be in her last year of elementary school and my baby (who isn't a baby anymore) is only a couple of years behind.
The best part of all of this though is that I have two amazing kids. I know most parents brag about their kids but trust me when I say they are little rock stars. Are they perfect- heck no, but they are smart, polite, caring, responsible, loving young ladies and in the end that is all I ask of them. I can't wait to see who they will be in the few short years that I still have them with me and who they will become as they grow up.

Well it's Halloween and for the first time in a long time it really is a dark, stormy night. Granted, we don't do much on Halloween because we usually do a trunk or treat at a local church so the candy is safe (being a child of the 80's when people put glass and needles in candy has me a little paranoid). But we are planning our own little party tomorrow night to have fun with our kiddo's.
What I love about Halloween is that I always feel inspired to write. Not on a new book usually, but poems and short stories about all of the goblins and ghouls that are running around on the streets. I love that holiday's inspire me to take a break from my "regular" writing and allow me to have a little more fun and fantasy than I normally do. I wonder if this year a fight over a turkey leg at Thanksgiving will inspire a new murder mystery short story?

Let me start by saying that I despise being sick. It has nothing to do with going through a Sam's club size supply of tissues, loosing my voice, or even the feeling of being hit by a mack truck (although I personally feel that these are reason enough). The part I hate is being made to slow down and rest. I don't like getting behind in my day to day life and I really don't like having to ask for help for simple everyday things like, oh bending over without falling over or walking without hitting a wall. I don't get sick often but when I do watch out because I am the worst version of myself.
So onto the part about what I learned. Over the years, I have learned that there are benefits to learning to step back and accept help. I am not mighty mouse (no matter how much I want to be)and I have to take care of myself so I can take care of my family. For example, my girls are both under 10 but they are in school and normally when I'm sick I would work myself to death while they were gone so when they got home I wouldn't have to work as hard. However, I have figured out that if I just rest and allow my body to heal, they are better off because I'm not down so long. Plus, they are getting older and, as much as it saddens me, they can do every day tasks on their own.
Obviously, I am never going to be a "good sick person" and do what I know I should do all the time because honestly I don't always have a choice.But from now on when I do, I'm going to learn to say more thank you's and less I can do it my selves.

Oh my goodness, what can happen in a month! This has to have been one of the most insane and upside down months of my life. My husband got a new job which meant that we had 1 month to move from TX to WV, find a short term housing solution, get the girls enrolled in school, look for a long term housing solution, pack, and get moved. This really shouldn't be that big of a deal since we are used to doing this with his military career but this time was different because he got a regular civilian job! For the first time in a long time I have had to worry about little things which is never good because I tend to overreact to the little things.
The one saving grace to all of this is that I have an amazing husband who keeps everything in check. He is so calm and I am so erratic that we balance each other out well. He keeps me sane and I give him all the crazy he can handle. Once I can make plans and follow them through I do very well, its getting everything done that gets to me. I always worry about forgetting something- major or minor- and it sets me off.
The best part of all of this though is that we can see God's fingerprints all over this crazy time. He has provided for us in ways we didn't even know we needed. I can't wait to see what happens next!