Jamie Stroble's Blog

Friends, on account of the eleventy thousand hours per day that my mama leaves me alone to go do works and schools, I would like to direct you to my Face Books page. Face Books is a medium that allows me to do a photo update that is very fast. Just like me on my correct-sized legs!

So if you is having a Face Books, please click here, on Reuben's Face Books page, to be connected to my beautiful words of wisdoms.

MAMA!!! Come home from works and schools right now and rub my belly!!!!!
I will return to my dogbloggings at some point in the futures when Mama no is hogging up all the interwebs with her boring stuffs! 
AND....  
Pee S.....
HAPPY HUMPY DAY.

Actually this is kind of my "week in Face Books photos," since many of these has already been posted to my Face Books page and possibly even my Twitters. 
Me and Stinky Monkey is helping with paperworks.
We did so much work that we felled asleep on the hairy rug.
Um.... this no is what it looks like.... look the other way please; there no is anything to see here.... THERE NO IS ANYTHING.

Seriously Mama, why I has to post this picture of Hatfield looking like an Egyptian catses god?
When the compost is on the ground
You must get your mouth around
A tomato.
See what I did there? There is some who says that Squeaky Hot Dog makes me "insane."
This photo no does anything to help my case. 
This is very bad. A catses infestation to rival no other.  Here is People Sister, betraying me with the freakishly long-legged Gretchen. 

Finally. Can we please focus on ME?! I is currently accepting applications for belly rubs. All candidates with fingers considered! 
Maybe you is noticing how all of these pictures is in doors. That is because it has been raining for about eleventy days, and also because Mama is very good at forgetting her flashy box when we takes walks. 
In conclusions, I has some *kind of* good newses. The newses is, Mama gotted promotion at work! That means she is allowed to work twice as many hours as she was before. I no has an understand for WHY this is a good thing. Something about having more monies to buy treats and chewies for Reuben, I thinks. Ok, actually it makes perfect sense. Also, on Monday she is starting classes again, which involves lots of listening to lectures and typing of boring things on the computer, hogging up all the interwebs and leaving none for me. And since I does my best writings when I is sitting in her lap, there will be less dogblogging, Face Booking and Twittering for me, Reuben. Already I was slacking in my dogblogging responsibilities, but now the lap I so badly need will be absent much more :( 
Mama says if this semester she can pass her classes, not get fired from her job, and not get disowned by People Sister and Daddy, that she has done a great job! Of course, I will be waiting vigilantly here for her, always willing to bravely accept a belly rub or yawn in her face.
*****pee S.   My piggies is still at large in the woods. If sighted, please catch them and send them overnight to 
ReubenReuben's House and YardNorth Carolinas.

This be a Instagram dog named Digby VanWinkle. I loves him. Almost as much as he loves that fluffy thing.
Greetings friends, I has been away for many years, or possibly even days. I has a sorry for this, but as you will see, there was a developing situation which I touched on in my last blog post that required me, a camera, and....


my new piggies.

OMD, it is a bacon-flavored dream come true!!!1!!1!
You heared right, I gots THREE PIGGIES all for my personal self! Remember when Mama wented away and left me home with Daddy for eleventy thousand days? She promised me a piggy and now Daddy has, in fact, delivered threefold on the promise! Ok, maybe the piggies live out at the farm, and maybe they no is "technically" mine, but they was going to become mine after I exhibited my braveries to them.

This never happened.

Why, you is asking? I will answer that question.

It is because my pigges escaped. ALL THREE OF THEMS. Like 5 minutes after Daddy gotted them out of the car. They went into the pigpen and then right out of a little hole in the fence. And they ranned away!

Additionally, Daddy tooked Mama's car to go pick up the piggies, because his car needs tires and no has legalities or something, and he had to drive Far Away. On the way home they farted, pooped and throwed up in Mama's back seat. Oh, and also they was riding in MY crate, so now it has been defiled by bovinus exodus.

All week Daddy has been going out the farm and doing pig huntings. He caughted one of them (the one that People Sister named Diamondneck), and to no one's surprise he escaped AGAIN. There is now approximately eleventy pounds of future bacons wandering around in the woods behind the farm.

They's tolded all the neighbors, and Animal Control, and they gotted pig trap from animal control too. My favorite pig retrieval idea so far is getting another piggy with a GPS collar, turning it loose in the woods, and hoping that it will lead us to the other piggies and no get picked up by a falcon or something. They is very little piggies.

Daddy finded pig tracks in the woods today, so they is still around. Can you believe that Gretchen and Daisy is good pig herders?! THEY IS! They helped with the Diamondneck recapture, so I is thinking that it must be pretty easy to herd pigs. I is all ready to go out to the woods and hunt down some piggies. Right after my nap.

I will keep you informed of these situations as they develop! In other newses, you may be remembering a dignified senior dog named Mr. Snoots that Mama and People sister meeted at the adoption fair. Well, People Sister was falling kind of in love with hims. And Mama was thinking that maybe we would be adopting his personal self. Mr. Snoots is 17 years old. When Mama explained to People Sister that we maybe would has to let him to go Rainbow Bridge soon on account of his extreme seniorness, she began to cry and cry. And also the next day. And the day after that. Sometimes she still cries about losing our kitty Kanga, who wented to Rainbow Bridge 2 years ago. She says she no wants to adopt Mr. Snoots because she no can handle the idea of maybe losing him soon. Mama and people sister is planning to do a visiting of him soon in his foster home, which is likely the place he will stay since his foster mom loves him a big, whole lot and already was thinking of keeping him.

This is Reuben, wishing you a very Happy Humpy Day.

Friends, I has some highly interesting and unusual newses involving the aforepictured picture. However.... I no can tells you yet, so now I would like to welcome you to a segment I may or no may be calling

REUBEN'S HIGHLY CRYPTIC PHOTOS.
What it could all means?


PeeS. It is unrelated to Mr. Snoots, our senior friend from the adoption fair, who we also is to be discussing after more things is sniffed and barked about. 

Dreaming of sundaes....

Today Mama and People Sister wented on a adventure. Unfortunately it no involved me, but in fact you will come to see that this place no was the right place for me.

My, that is a lot of doxies.
Yes friends, it was adoption fair for Almost Home Dachshund Rescue! I has already been adopted, of course, so this no is the place for me. Mama does some website works for Almost Home, which is like nothing compared to all of the hard works that the foster moms does. In fact, one of the foster mamas has 22 dachshunds right now. Does you know how many we has? One. Me, Reuben. And I sleeps most of the time and I always go potty outside. However, despite the Rule of One I has instituted in my house, People Sister became very enamored of a certain Mr. Snoots today:

Noooooo Mr. Snoots, she is MY people sister! Mr. Snoots has become something of a local celebrity here in Greensboro, NC. At the very dignified age of approximately eleventy thousand years old, he finded himself in a shelter after being liberated from a horrible puppy mill. As if this no was bad enough, a shelter volunteer accidentally putted a very big dog in the same area as Mr. Snoots, who attacked his personal self. Oh, the humanities! Mr. Snoots suffered a broken leg and now you can see his little blue cast on his back right leg in the photo above. Also he losted ALL of his tooths in that despicable puppy mill. Frankly I has a jealous at seeing this picture of People Sister with Mr. Snoots, but she really really really loved him, like a whole lot, and since I is Mama's boy I guess I is ok with that. Anyways, Mama is thinking hard that she may want to take him home to live in Reuben's very own house! Oh, even more humanities! I will keep a close eye on this situation as it develops.

There he is again. 
Also at the adoption fair was 3 dogs who was just rescued by Unchain Forsyth, a local group that raises monies and gets volunteers to build fences for peoples who no has enough monies for dog fences. That means that dogs who was living on chains outside now gets to has no more chains. It is a beautiful thing. So these volunteers was building a fence when they looked over into the neighbors' backyard and sawed 3 doxies who was chained up on HORRIBLE, HEAVY chains, 24/7, in all weathers.

Unbelievables.Also they sawed that their mama was chained up on the porch of the trailer, and at first they was only able to rescue her three childrens. But then they wented back and convinced the owner to surrender their mama too.

They is safe now!
So now Almost Home Dachshund Rescue is raising monies to help with their vet bills, since at least two of thems is heartworm positive and they all had to be fully vetted and spayed/neutered. So if you is having a few extra green papers, this is the place where you can donates some of them to help Dora, Scrappy and Daisy. 
Here is some more photos from the adoption fair:





This is Reuben, reminding you to adopt, not shop! 

Hello friends, on this auspishious Humpy Day I would like to bring you some beautiful musics. Maybe you no is knowing this about me, but I is a amazing songwriter. In fact, I is writing all of these fantabulous songs that pop tarts pop stars is always stealing from me! I has a call in to my lawyer about this travesty. In the meantime, here is just a few of the #1 hits that I has penned.

Obviously, I was very young when I wroted this song, but I stands firmly behind it as an example of my artistry. This is a rare example of one of my songs being stoled with all of the words to the chorus completely intact (just like I was at this time):




Of course, Adele has butchered my beautiful song "Reuben Has It." Just listen!



Terrible. Here is the correct lyricals:

"Reuben Has It"

I is big; I sprays my pee on the ground
I took my Chewy from you, and now you has a big frown
I likes to chew cause it feels good on my tooths
Now Reuben has it, and I never needs no excuse

Reuben has it (grrrr)
Reuben has it (grrrr)
Reuben has it (grrrr)
Reuben has it (grrrr)

Next up is a song that I was just a puppy when I wroted it. Of course, the lyricals is wrong again:




Here is the correct lyricals:
(*editor's note: People Sister actually wrote this one all by herself!)

"Reuben the Magic Dachshund"

Reuben the magic dachshund lived in a house
He liked to frolic on the farm way outside of town
He has a floppy tongue and a snaggle tooth
And likes to pee on every tree, and has a cat in his house, so back off! 

Reuben the magic dachshund lived in a house
He liked to frolic on the farm way outside of town
He has chewies and beds to keep him satisfied,
And to keep his teeth from hurting, because he only has nine of them.


Clearly, friends, I is owed many royalties from all of these hard works. If my lawyer no can work out the logisticals on this one, then I plans to go pee on their legs.

What does you think I is thinking about here?

Rufus ^^                         Casey^^
Casey: Yo Dad, can I gets some monies to go to the dog park with my friends?
Rufus: Well son, you understands that green papers no grows on trees, right?

Casey: ....

Rufus: Well, they no does. What does you need monies at the dog park for anyway?

Casey: To buy treats off of all the peoples Dad, duh!

Rufus: Son, you no has any idea how lucky you is. Back in my day -

Casey: Here we goes again - you had to walk five miles uphill both ways in the snows with no booties, right?

Rufus: No, son. You is too young to remember, but we camed from a puppy mill.

Casey: Oh....

Rufus: It was a horrible place that never should exist, ever, anywhere, not even for catses.

Casey: But we got out, Dad! We is safe now.

Rufus: Yes son, but there is many more unfortunate dogs who is stucked in puppy mills as we speaks.

Casey: Hey Dad! Maybe I should give those monies to a rescue group instead of spending it at the dog park!

Rufus: That is a fine idea, son. You makes me has a proud.


Dramatic interpretation enacted by Reuben, a senior sort of dachshund, and Casey, a rescue puppy from Almost Home Dachshund Rescue who is actually a girl, but looked so much like Reuben that I couldn't resist casting her as Rufus' son.