Callie Browning's Blog - Posts Tagged "the-shadow-guardian"

Sooo. Last week I wrote my first goodreads blog. It was cool. I got a couple of likes, fans and followers. I even got it posted on Pumped Up Your Book. http://www.pumpupyourbook.com/2013/09...

I was all fussy with myself. (In Barbados when we say "fussy" we mean super excited - expect to see that word a lot from me).

And then a bell went off in my head. I thought to myself "these people are only following and liking you because they liked what you said. Do you have something else to say?"

Inertia set in. Because I didn't really expect anyone to think of my rant as follow worthy. What now, smarty pants? So I sat down and thought about today's post long and hard. Well not very long. After I finished my orange juice I started writing.

I realized that this following and liking had occurred when I came clean and decided to just speak my truth. How does this relate to being an author?
Simple, I say. That's what we're supposed to do as authors. The parts of my book that I'm getting kudos on are the parts that I was really feeling as I wrote. Those are the parts that touch people and make them feel something vividly.

This revelation was a huge turning point for me. Why try to be something that I'm not when what I am is so much more powerful?

Let's face it. If you know you're not particularly adept at writing fiction but you're writing it because you think it will sell well you're doing yourself an injustice. People can read between the lines. Both literally and figuratively.

When we are most honest with ourselves is when we shine. I suggest that each of us find what we're passionate about and really dig into it. Because that's how we will make ourselves worthy of adulation from all of the fans we'd love to have. How many times have you watched a movie and thought that it felt forced? What about the times you've seen art that just looks like a bunch of paint strokes on a canvas and scoffed in disdain?

Don't forget that writing is just another artistic expression. Search for what you can properly express. You might be surprised to realize that what you're really good at writing is short stories or screen plays. Writers block is normal but when inertia sets in that's when you know you're fighting against the tide.

I have a friend who skydives. It's part of his job so he doesn't do it as a hobby. As a matter of fact, it's the part of his job that he dislikes the most.

He loathes the feeling of getting into the plane, knowing that soon he will be hurling himself from it.

There's nothing he hates more than the wind savagely whipping at his face as he stands by the door, staring down at the earth.

And he resents taking the final plunge, watching it all coming closer and closer at a frenetic pace. So, what does he do to counter all of this? He does what he can to negate the risks by packing his own parachute.

But here comes the problem: he packs and re-packs and re-packs it again and again, his stomach getting more and more queasy with every round of re-packing, until he's ready to board the plane.

Why?

Because packing a parachute properly is critical to it actually opening and performing the way it should. Heaven forbid that it doesn't open when the ripcord is pulled. Can you blame the poor fellow for driving himself insane every time he unpacks the darned thing?

What does this have to do with anything? If you think about it, parachuting is just like writing. I do what I can behind the scenes, tooling and re-tooling my work, feeding self-doubt at every turn. I second guess everything: names, places, situations. The last thing I want is to present work that feels insincere or contrived.
So I do like Coco Chanel says and I remove one thing... and then one more thing from my book before publishing it.

And it turns out, that one thing I've removed, is the thing that so many people tell me they wish was in the book!

Sigh.

So, what do I do? I'll rewrite and reinsert the segment I removed and I'll learn to ignore Coco whispering in my ear. Because, going with your gut and having confidence in your work is the most amazing feeling there is. Free-falling into the world of self-publishing is liberating. It has validated me in a way I didn't know was possible. All of these emails and messages from readers admonishing me when I admit that I purposely took out some segments is so inspiring to me.

I wake up each day with renewed purpose, knowing that I can be a good writer once I trust in myself. I can't thank each of you enough for having the guts to call me out on some of my decisions.

So I'll take this chance to give some great advice to all of my fellow indie writers.

“Success is most often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.”
― Coco Chanel

Hey... Coco can't be wrong all of the time.

You know how some sites ask you which stars you would cast if your book was ever made into a movie?

I always dismissed it, because let's face it: there's a reason why those books make the news. Because it's rare for any book to sell its movie rights, thus making it news worthy.

But as I prepare to do some fresh writing on another book, I had an epiphany. I can't imagine who I'd cast as the major characters but I suddenly saw Rihanna dressed as the fortune teller and playing the role exactly the way I'd want it reenacted.

It's weird how it happened. In my mind's eye I suddenly saw the scene where Lady Oya shoves open the door and there stood Rihanna.

Tell me what you think. Can you picture Rihanna as the fortune teller?

So many people have asked me about the legend of the duppy in my book that I felt I just had to do a special blog post on it.

The legend originates in Africa and lives on in the West Indies through the descendants of the slaves who were brought here hundreds of years ago. Some of the islands have different names for duppies such as rolling calf and bubby Susan. But in pretty much all of the Caribbean islands, certain facts remain consistent.

Duppies are believed to come about through the improper burial of bodies. Once they escape, they roam the earth for three days and can get into myriad activities including haunting one's enemies. They're rumored to live in cotton trees and to enjoy a good drink (talk about an eclectic spirit!)

Many of you may ask "what's the difference between a duppy and a ghost?" The main difference is that duppies are said to communicate with us while we sleep by manipulating our dreams. In Barbados when that happens, people say that they're being ridden by a duppy. When that happens, you wake up but your body gets stiff and you are rendered immobile. From there it's you against the duppy and you have to shake them off.

But that creepy stuff isn't entirely what the book is about. In my book the duppy is actually a good guy... of sorts.

Duppies are mythical spirits that many believe can either be good or bad. In my book, The Shadow Guardian, they represent both but with a twist. I took the idea of the duppy and fictionalized how it appeared in the book (many people were surprised by it and I won't go into that part too much here to avoid killing it for those of you who haven't read it).

I did it that way because I was fascinated with the premise that they represent one of our souls. The legend of the duppy believes that the soul leaves a deceased person's body for a reason and I again took creative license with that aspect of the legend. Why?

Because I felt like so many of us go about our day without any real burning desire. I know for sure that at one point I did. That's what actually inspired me to write the book - living without joy and love and excitement is a horrible existence.

So I breathed new life into the duppy by giving it a fresh purpose. The duppy was critical in the book to connect lots of themes such as hope and love. So often, we peg our dreams and ideal lifestyles on outside influences and material things. But let's be real; when you strip away all of that you come to grips with the fact that all we really need is what we can give ourselves. And once WE - not others - are happy and exude confidence and a genuine spirit, everything else falls into place. I don't advocate being selfish and forgetting other people. Far from. I'm just saying that we get what we give and if we give love and good vibes, then it comes back to us.

I've gotten a few e-mails and messages from people telling me that The Shadow Guardian gave them what they needed to get through a difficult time. I am genuinely glad that I was able to help in my little way. We face so many challenges everyday - from work to our love lives - that it's important to be able to get past all of the bad, dig deep and find the hope that lies within all of us.

I found mine and I hope you find your's.

I'll be honest. I haven't written a single word for my new book. (Technically in this case I don't even have a book - just an outline). So basically I just have unexpressed thoughts rolling around in my head that no-one else knows about but me.

A private book.

How wonderful.

The only thing I've written since releasing The Shadow Guardian is this blog. And lots of letters seeking publishers and agents. But I digress.

The reason I haven't written is because of life. A seemingly vague reason but a valid one all the same. Instead of writing I've been living.

In an effort not to be a starving artist I've worked. And I've paid bills. Did laundry. Cooked and snuck away from work to go swimming one afternoon.

All of these mundane tasks have been keeping me from my new passion. Writing is suddenly becoming a hobby for me and I think the self-deprecating comments I make on this blog are perhaps the only thing keeping me from feeling like I'll never write again.

I thought back today and tried to figure out when I used to find time to write before. Them I remembered that I had given up sleep and all forms of any kind of social life to work on my book. Suddenly I yearn for those 2AM sessions when I lost myself in my characters and my plot.

And it makes me beg the question: how do other writers find the time to write? We all have made huge sacrifices to get the point where we have been able to publish a book. I'd love to know just how everyone else manages to make time to pursue this noble undertaking we call writing when they have laundry, family and jobs.

So sound off and tell me just how you guys are able to make it work.