Jane Jenkins Herlong's Blog

Well y’all, for the past several weeks, I’ve been chatting with the brilliant—and very single—David Meinz (just tossing that in there in case you know somebody). We’ve been diving deep into how we can live our best and healthiest lives. And yes, before you ask, we filmed it all at once. So if you see me wearing the same outfit? That’s called efficiency with a dash of Southern hospitality.

Now let’s talk about what really matters: staying healthy without becoming a slave to a handful of pills.

The Cholesterol Conversation (Spoiler: It’s Not the Villain Anymore)

You’ve probably been told to avoid cholesterol in food like it’s the devil in deviled eggs—but guess what? David busted that myth wide open.

For 98% of folks, eating cholesterol (like in egg yolks) doesn’t actually raise blood cholesterol. Let me say that again louder for the people in the back: eating an egg won’t give you a heart attack.

So if cholesterol isn’t the problem, what is?

Inflammation: The Real Culprit

Turns out, the big, bad wolf isn’t cholesterol—it’s inflammation, often caused by high blood sugar and insulin levels. This low-grade inflammation builds silently in your blood vessels, increasing your risk for those “surprise” heart attacks and strokes.

So Why Take a Statin?

Most people think statins are just cholesterol-lowering drugs. But David calls them what they really are: inflammation fighters. That’s why he’s been taking one for over a decade—specifically Livalo (generic name: Pitavastatin). It’s gentle on the muscles, unlike some statins that leave you feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck full of bricks.

If you’ve had trouble with statins before, this one might be worth asking your doctor about.

Flex That Heart—Literally

Exercise isn’t just about bikini season (although we do love a good beach hat moment). It’s one of the best ways to fight inflammation and control insulin. David recommends:

150 minutes of cardio per week
That’s just 30 minutes a day, five days a week. Walk, dance, garden—move however you like!

Add in strength training
Especially for us ladies over a certain fabulous age. Think squats, lunges, bicep curls—just enough to keep your muscles strong and your metabolism revved. No, you will not bulk up like a bodybuilder. You’ll just feel better and age with power.

Make It Fun, Make It Convenient

David’s secret weapon? A piece of exercise equipment in front of the TV. Yep—he watches movies while he works out. If exercise is both fun and convenient, you’re way more likely to do it.

No need for a marathon, sugar. Just get that heart rate up and your body moving!

Ready to Learn More?

David’s book, “10 Bonus Years: How You Can Add 10 Healthy Years to Your Life,” is packed with easy-to-understand steps. Because nobody wants 10 extra years if it means being stuck in a recliner with three remote controls and no energy.

You can find it at booksbydavid.net

But wait, there’s more…

He also launched a six-month online course—12 modules, 14 hours of content, all designed to help you improve your health and live better, longer. Check it out at 10bonusyears.com. Watch the free webinar, and if it clicks with you, you can even set up a free one-on-one call with David.

Bring David to Your Church or Conference!

David isn’t just a brainiac—he’s also a gifted speaker. If you’re planning a wellness event or know someone who is, reach out to him through davidmeinz.com. He’s helped folks all across South Carolina and beyond, and he can do the same for your group.

Y’all, we’re not just talkin’ about living longer—we’re talking about living better. Health span over lifespan. More joy, more energy, and more sweet tea (unsweet, if we’re watching our sugar).

So go ahead—flex those muscles, fight that inflammation, and grab those bonus years!

Jane isn’t just a funny lady; she’s an accomplished storyteller. With five award-winning books to her name, Jane’s tales of Southern life and laughter resonate far and wide. Her latest gem, Sweet Tea Secrets from the Deep-Fried South, isn’t just a best-seller—it’s proudly featured in Cracker Barrel stores across the nation. And as a first-time novelist, Jane’s story has taken on a new life, becoming a film. She has recently been cast as a suporting actor in a film to be released in the spring of 2026.

The post Fitness, Flexing, and Fighting Cholesterol (Without Losing Your Southern Sass) first appeared on Jane Jenkins Herlong.

From Coffee to Gut Bugs: What We Learned from David Meinz’s Wellness Wisdom

We may have missed Eva Marie this time around (she’ll be back—promise!), but wellness expert David Meinz brought the goods in this jam-packed session of health facts, fun, and a few “wait, what?!” moments.

Super 7 & Coffee Talk

David jumped right in with his “Super 7 Vitamins for Women”—but before we got to popping pills, we talked coffee. Good news: your morning brew might actually lower your risk of diabetes and Parkinson’s! The not-so-great news? Chugging it like water might leave you jittery and stressed. Moderation, friends… even if your mug says “Don’t talk to me until this is empty.”

The Soft Truth About Soft Drinks

Brace yourself: the average American guzzles 40-50 gallons of soda a year. Yikes! Whether it’s sugar-laden or diet, David’s message was clear—both can mess with your gut, pack on the pounds, and throw your microbiome into a tailspin. Basically, your gut’s not a fan of bubbles with a chemical twist.

Probiotics, Prebiotics, and… Postbiotics?

David broke down the gut health trifecta like a champ:

Probiotics: the live bugs we want

Prebiotics: their favorite snacks

Postbiotics: the good stuff they leave behind

He gave a big shoutout to fermented faves like sauerkraut and yogurt—aka the MVPs of your digestive tract.

Oh, and yes, fecal transplants came up. They’re a real thing. We’ll just leave that right there…

Cholesterol Myth-Busting

Forget everything your grandma told you about eggs and cholesterol. David explained that inflammation, not cholesterol, is the real heart health villain. He even name-dropped a gentler statin—Livalo (Pitavastatin)—for those needing a little extra help without the muscle aches.

Move It or Lose It

Want to live longer? Then move more, y’all. David recommends 150 minutes of cardio a week and some solid resistance training—especially for your lower half. Strong legs = better blood sugar control and a more independent future. No one wants to wrestle with a walker at 85.

Longevity, the Future & Bonus Years

We got a peek into the future of aging—and it’s looking pretty awesome. David shared insights from a recent longevity conference, where buzzwords like “anti-aging medicine” and “proactive prevention” took center stage. Want in on that action? He’s offering a 6-month online program over at 10BonusYears.com.

Book David, Thank Us Later

Need a speaker who blends science, heart, and humor? David’s your guy. Visit DavidMeinz.com to learn more. He even managed to charm the host (though the cat didn’t approve—clearly a soda drinker).

So grab that cup of coffee (just one!), feed your gut some good bugs, and keep movin’. Your future self will high-five you—with strong, well-trained arms.

Common Sense & Comedy

Jane’s journey has been anything but smooth. Labeled dyslexic early on, she faced a slew of “You can’t do that” moments. With a touch of Lowcountry charm, Jane teaches others how to turn setbacks into comebacks and every “NO” into a “NEXT,” one laugh at a time.

From the rows of her family’s South Carolina tomato farm to the runway of the Miss America Pageant and the grand stage of Radio City Music Hall, Jane’s story is one of grit, grace, and good humor.

Whether she’s sharing pearls of wisdom or humorous “Sweet Tea Secrets,” Jane Jenkins Herlong is a show you simply can’t miss.

The post From Coffee to Gut Bugs-David Meinz’s Wellness Wisdom first appeared on Jane Jenkins Herlong.

 Heart Health for Women Key signs of heart attacks in women can be different from men’s symptoms.Many women dismiss early warning signs—chest pain isn’t always the main symptom!Heart disease is the #1 killer of women—pay attention to what your body is telling you!Healthy Eating & Intermittent Fasting David follows a timed eating approach (no breakfast, meals between 12-7 PM) to support metabolism and reduce insulin resistance.Why does this matter? The body needs time to process food without being constantly bombarded with insulin.The average American eats too much, too often—from breakfast, to office snacks, to late-night ice cream. Insulin resistance develops over years and is a precursor to diabetes—even if your blood sugar looks normal now!The Truth About Supplements

David’s Super Seven Must-Have Supplements for Women:
1⃣ A quality multivitamin—Choose the right one for your age:

Reproductive years: Women need more iron for energy and blood health.Menopause & beyond: Switch to a “silver” formula—iron is no longer necessary and can actually be harmful!
2⃣ Calcium, Vitamin D3, & K2—The bone-building trio! Calcium is not enough on its own—without D3 (the delivery truck) and K2 (the supervisor), calcium can end up in arteries instead of bones, increasing heart disease risk!
3⃣ Magnesium—Essential for heart health, muscle function, and relaxation.Best forms: Glycinate (high absorption) or Threonate (crosses into the brain and supports mental clarity).
4⃣ Omega-3s (EPA & DHA)—Your brain and heart love these healthy fats! Most people don’t get enough from diet alone, so supplementing is key.Look at the label—it’s not just about “fish oil,” it’s about the EPA & DHA content!
5⃣ Vitamin C—Vital for immune support, skin, and tissue repair. Your body can’t absorb a big dose at once—take smaller amounts throughout the day for best results!David’s Healthy Living Hacks Why Lukewarm Water? David prefers room temperature water because it’s easier on digestion.But fun fact: Ice-cold water absorbs faster into the body—especially if you’re exercising!The Ice Cube Conspiracy! American restaurants fill your glass with ice to give you less soda while charging the same price. In Europe, ice is rare—they serve drinks room temp. Maybe they’re onto something? David’s “Look Good, Feel Good” Secret At 71 years young, David proudly attends his high school reunions just to look better than everyone else! He credits his diet, fasting routine, and smart supplements for staying sharp and energetic.His 99-year-old mother still tells him he looks good, so that’s the real stamp of approval! Next Week’s Hot Topics! Coffee, artificial sweeteners, and soft drinks—friend or foe? Best exercises for women—what works, what doesn’t, and what helps keep bones strong!More tips on adding “10 Bonus Years” to your life!

Catch the next episode for more expert tips on living longer, feeling better, and making health simple!

Jane Jenkins Herlong is proof that a sense of humor can take you places—like SiriusXM Comedy and other streaming platforms alongside the likes of Jeff Foxworthy, Ray Romano, and Jerry Seinfeld. As an international best-selling author, award-winning speaker, and humorist, Jane’s wit is sharp, relatable, and memorable.

But Jane isn’t just a funny lady; she’s an accomplished storyteller. With five award-winning books to her name, Jane’s tales of Southern life and laughter resonate far and wide. Her latest gem, Sweet Tea Secrets from the Deep-Fried South, isn’t just a best-seller—it’s proudly featured in Cracker Barrel stores across the nation.

The post Healthy Women Do This by David Meinz first appeared on Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Don’t Throw Tomatoes at My Field of Dreams!

Growing Success in School Nutrition with Humor and Heart

Ever had a tomato thrown at you? OUCH! But here’s the secret—turn it into ketchup, add a little spice , and suddenly, you’ve got salsa!

In this fun and inspiring keynote, Jane shares unforgettable lessons from her days working in her father’s tomato fields , proving that resilience, adaptability, and a good sense of humor can turn any challenge into an opportunity. Just like in school nutrition, where feeding students goes far beyond just serving meals, success comes from creativity, teamwork, and a willingness to plow through when things get tough.

Through down-home storytelling & fresh farm-girl wisdom, your team will discover how to:

Work with Over-Ripened (Difficult) Folks – and Keep the Peace
Grow the Best “Fruit” – Nurturing a Positive Culture in School Nutrition
Become a “Keeper” – How to Keep Students, Staff, and Parents Engaged & Coming Back for More

The Perfect Fit!

This keynote has been a hit with the school nutrition industry, making it an ideal fit for school nutrition professionals looking to stay inspired, motivated, and ahead of the curve.

The best presentations don’t just teach the basics—they remind school nutrition pros how vital they are to the lives of children. School nutrition professionals do more than serve meals—they nourish futures.  Jane’s message will inspire your team to embrace their role with pride, passion, and a whole lot of laughter.

It’s time to turn challenges into salsa and make your school nutrition program the best in the business—one laugh, one lesson, and one meal at a time!

Testimonials Speak for themselves…

Virginia SNA

 Words cannot express the fantastic ending your presentation provided our breakfast session at the Virginia Food Service Convention.  “The Magic of Being Yourself” was absolutely delightful and what a send off for our food service staff throughout Virginia to return home with a message they will never forget…Be yourself and don’t ever quit being kind to our children…”  

Kentucky SNA

-This session was very enjoyable & entertaining. Looking forward to the next one.

-So entertaining and fun!! Love the music and stores that all can relate to!

-Best experience from a speaker ever! Everyone needs to meet Jane!

-I thought this was gonna be the most boring talk, but……I never even had the thought of nodding off! Very laid back but ENGAGING!!!!

Nebraska SNA

-Best talk about how to find your shine and don’t let anyone tell you can’t.

-Amazingly talented Jane! Inspiring and fun Jane! Thank you!!!!

-Find you own happiness. And we are positive people for children and students that may not have a welcoming home. Southern people are amazing…and know how to tell the best stories.

You Can’t Put High Heels on a Holstein

Life Skills, Laughter, and Learning to Work with What You’ve Got

Some things in life just don’t mix—like high heels and a Holstein. No matter how hard you try, there are some things you simply can’t change. But what if success isn’t about changing what can’t be changed, but instead learning to work with what you’ve got?

Whether you’re navigating a career , raising a family , or managing life’s unexpected curveballs , this keynote will help you:
Embrace what you can’t change—and turn it into an opportunity
Stay curious and keep growing—Lifelong learning is key!
Adapt when life throws a curveball—When your heel breaks, keep walking
Communicate with confidence—Leadership is more than words; it’s how you show up
Rise above the critics—Some folks will always be “Backstage Backstabbers” … learn to MOOVE past them!

The Perfect Fit!

This keynote is perfect for school nutrition professionals, educators, leaders, and anyone ready to embrace life’s lessons with humor and grace. Because sometimes, the best thing you can do isn’t to change the situation—it’s to change how you see it.

So come ready to laugh, learn, and leave inspired—heels or no heels!

 

Jane Jenkins Herlong is proof that a sense of humor can take you places—like SiriusXM Comedy and other streaming platforms alongside the likes of Jeff Foxworthy, Ray Romano, and Jerry Seinfeld. As an international best-selling author, award-winning speaker, and humorist, Jane’s wit is sharp, relatable, and memorable. But Jane isn’t just a funny lady; she’s an accomplished storyteller. With five award-winning books to her name, Jane’s tales of Southern life and laughter resonate far and wide. Her latest gem, Sweet Tea Secrets from the Deep-Fried South, isn’t just a best-seller—it’s proudly featured in Cracker Barrel stores across the nation.

The post Tomatoes, Holsteins & MOO-ving SNA Leadership to the Next Level! first appeared on Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Declutter Like a Boss: 25 Things You Can Ditch Today!

Let’s be honest—sometimes, we’re not unmotivated; we’re just overwhelmed. The secret? Start SMALL. Today, I’ve got 25 ridiculously easy things you can declutter without breaking a sweat. No overthinking, no emotional turmoil—just clear the clutter and reclaim your space!

1⃣ Expired Medicine

Old meds? Toss ‘em! OTC stuff can go in the trash, but prescription pills should be mixed with coffee grounds (so nobody fishes them out—ew) or dropped off at a pharmacy disposal.

2⃣ First-Aid Kit Fossils

That first-aid kit you stashed in your car five years ago? Check it. Those band-aids are probably more like decorative stickers now.

3⃣ Grocery Bag Hoarding

If your pantry looks like a plastic bag breeding ground, it’s time to donate or recycle them. Homeless shelters and women’s prisons (with dog training programs! ) often take them.

4⃣ Expired Makeup

Yes, makeup expires. If your mascara is older than your last New Year’s resolution, it’s time to say goodbye before it gives you an eye infection.

5⃣ Unmatched Socks

Unless you’re starting a fashion trend, there’s no reason to keep that lonely sock. Pro tip: Buy identical socks, and you’ll never have to deal with this mess again!

6⃣ Underwear That’s Seen Better Days

If it’s more holes than fabric, it’s time to upgrade. You deserve better. Period.

7⃣ Receipts You’ll Never Need

Unless you’re tracking a package or returning a big-ticket item, let those receipts go. Your time is worth more than a $2 refund!

8⃣ Extra Tupperware (aka The Lidless Wasteland)

If your Tupperware drawer looks like a chaotic black hole, let’s simplify. Keep what you actually use and ditch the rest.

9⃣ Expired Condiments

If you’ve had that salad dressing longer than your last relationship , it’s time to part ways.

Stale Snacks

If that bag of chips has been in your pantry since the Bush administration, toss it. If it’s still good but unloved, donate it.

1⃣1⃣ Sample Packets Galore

Unless you’re traveling, do you really need 47 ketchup packets and mini shampoo bottles? If unopened, donate to shelters!

1⃣2⃣ Swag You’ll Never Use

Do you REALLY need another stress ball from that 2018 conference? Probably not.

1⃣3⃣ Old Newspapers & Sale Flyers

Straight to the recycling bin, my friend!

1⃣4⃣ Dusty Candles You’ll “Save for a Special Occasion”

Hate to break it to you, but that occasion ain’t coming. Light the candles or let them go!

1⃣5⃣ Christmas Cards from Years Ago

They were lovely at the time, but you don’t need to keep them forever. Snap a pic if you’re sentimental and recycle the paper.

1⃣6⃣ Ugly Magnets

Keep the ones you love, toss the ones from your lawn service guy.

1⃣7⃣ Toiletries You Hate

If you don’t like the smell or texture, you’re never going to use it. Pass it along!

1⃣8⃣ Broken Stuff You’ll Never Fix

If it’s been in your “fix it” pile for months (or years), just admit it—you’re never fixing it. And that’s okay!

1⃣9⃣ Empty Boxes

Unless you’re planning a move, you don’t need a cardboard castle taking over your closet.

2⃣0⃣ Packing Materials You Keep “Just in Case”

If you only mail things once a year, there’s no need to keep a mountain of bubble wrap. Set a limit and stick to it.

2⃣1⃣ Cleaning Products That Don’t Work for You

We’ve all bought that “miracle” cleaner that ended up being useless. No shame in letting it go!

2⃣2⃣ Duplicate Kitchen Gadgets

How many can openers does one household need? Pick the best one and donate the rest.

2⃣3⃣ The “Garage Sale” Pile That’s Been Sitting for a Year

If you haven’t sold it yet, you’re probably never going to. Save yourself the hassle and donate it already.

2⃣4⃣ The Mending Pile of Shame

If you haven’t fixed that ripped shirt in six months, you probably never will. Either mend it NOW or let it go.

2⃣5⃣ The Couponed Hoard

If you’ve got a lifetime supply of bar soap but only use body wash, why are you keeping it? Pass it on to someone who will actually use it!

Decluttering doesn’t have to be overwhelming—just start with the easy stuff! Your future, clutter-free self will thank you.

Jane Jenkins Herlong turns humor into a ticket to the big leagues—SiriusXM, best-selling books, and the Speaker Hall of Fame. Her Sweet Tea Secrets book is a Cracker Barrel hit! From a South Carolina tomato farm to the Miss America stage, Jane turns every NO into a NEXT—with plenty of laughs along the way! The post Less Junk, More Joy! first appeared on Jane Jenkins Herlong.

Recently, there’s been a lot of chatter about how folks are dreading the annual Thanksgiving gathering. Say it ain’t so! Listen, I’m here to save you from turning your turkey dinner into a full-blown food fight over hot topics. Trust me, nothing ruins a meal faster than serving up a side of awkward silence or a piping-hot argument—it’ll sour your stuffing and unsweeten your tea faster than you can say, “Pass the gravy!”

But fear not! I’ve got a few goodies to keep your feast fun and flavorful. And if you click this link or the link below, you can play a family-friendly game that guarantees an indigestion-free Thanksgiving.

Yes, really. Who says you can’t serve up sweet potatoes and sweet peace at the same table? 

Go on, give it a try—your taste buds and your sanity will thank you!

1. First Thanksgiving Was a Three-Day Feast
• The original Thanksgiving in 1621 between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag lasted three days. It featured a menu vastly different from today’s traditional fare, including venison, seafood, and wild fowl.
2. Turkey Almost Wasn’t the National Bird
• Benjamin Franklin once suggested the turkey as the national bird of the United States. He believed the turkey was a more respectable bird than the bald eagle.
3. The First Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Had Live Animals
• When Macy’s started its iconic parade in 1924, it included live animals borrowed from the Central Park Zoo, such as lions, elephants, and camels, rather than the famous balloons we know today.
5. Americans Eat a Lot of Turkey
• Roughly 46 million turkeys are consumed in the United States each Thanksgiving, which accounts for about one-fifth of the total annual turkey consumption in the country.
6. The Tradition of Watching Football Began in 1876
• The first Thanksgiving football game took place in 1876 between Yale and Princeton. The NFL made Thanksgiving football an annual tradition in 1934, starting with a game hosted by the Detroit Lions.
7. “Jingle Bells” Was Originally a Thanksgiving Song
• James Pierpont wrote the song “One Horse Open Sleigh” in 1857 for his church’s Thanksgiving program. It later became associated with Christmas.
8. TV Dinners Were Born from Thanksgiving
• In 1953, a surplus of 260 tons of frozen turkeys led Swanson to create the first-ever TV dinners. The frozen turkey meals became wildly popular.
9. Presidential Turkey Pardoning Is a Modern Tradition
• While stories of presidents sparing turkeys date back to Abraham Lincoln, the formal “pardoning” of a turkey started with President George H.W. Bush in 1989.
10. Pumpkin Pie Wasn’t Always a Favorite
• At the first Thanksgiving, there was likely no pumpkin pie as ovens weren’t yet common. However, pumpkins were hollowed out, filled with milk, honey, and spices, and roasted as a precursor to the modern pie.
11. The Longest Thanksgiving Parade Balloon
• The longest balloon in the Macy’s parade is the iconic Snoopy balloon, which has made the most appearances of any character.
12. Black Friday Is Surprisingly Not the Biggest Shopping Day
Despite the hype, Black Friday typically ranks behind the Saturday before Christmas for the busiest shopping day of the year.
13. The First Macy’s Parade Wasn’t on Thanksgiving The inaugural Macy’s Parade in 1924 was held on Christmas Day, not Thanksgiving. The tradition shifted to Thanksgiving in subsequent years.               15. Thanksgiving Eve is the Biggest Bar Night of the Year• Known as “Drinksgiving,” the night before Thanksgiving sees a surge in bar activity as friends reunite and college students return home for the holiday.16. The 16. Butterball Turkey Hotline is Real• Butterball has operated a Turkey Talk-Line since 1981, helping over 100,000 people each year with their turkey-cooking questions. The experts even get bizarre questions, like how to thaw a turkey using a hot tub!

17. Frozen Turkeys Can Explode • Attempting to deep-fry a frozen turkey is extremely dangerous. When the frozen turkey hits the hot oil, it causes an explosive reaction due to the rapid expansion of water. (Stick to thawed turkeys, folks!)

18. A Thanksgiving That Wasn’t Thankful
• In 1920, college students in San Francisco introduced a prank tradition called “Turkey Stealing.” They’d raid farms to nab turkeys for their dorm feasts—a tradition that led to some heated farmer-student disputes.
20. The Guinness World Record for the Largest Turkey
• The heaviest turkey ever recorded weighed in at 86 pounds, roughly the size of a large dog. This turkey would have been quite a centerpiece at the dinner table!
22. The First TV Dinner Commercial Cost $90,000
• Swanson’s marketing of its Thanksgiving-inspired TV dinners in the 1950s included one of the most expensive commercials of the era—a big gamble that paid off handsomely.
23. Thomas Jefferson Hated Thanksgiving
• Jefferson refused to declare Thanksgiving a national holiday, considering it an inappropriate fusion of church and state. He would not be pleased to see its current status!
24. Gobbler Names
• A group of turkeys is called a rafter or gang. Male turkeys are “gobblers,” and females are “hens.” Wild turkeys can even fly up to 55 mph for short distances, unlike their hefty farm-raised cousins.
25. The Original Cornucopia Was a Goat’s Horn
• The iconic Thanksgiving cornucopia comes from Greek mythology, symbolizing abundance. Originally, it was said to be a goat’s horn filled with fruits and grains.
27. Green Bean Casserole Was Invented by Campbell’s
• The dish was created in 1955 by Dorcas Reilly, a Campbell’s employee, and has since become a quintessential Thanksgiving side.
29. Sarah Josepha Hale Fought for Thanksgiving
• Known as the “Mother of Thanksgiving,” Hale (also the author of “Mary Had a Little Lamb”) campaigned for nearly 20 years to establish Thanksgiving as a national holiday.
30. Turkey-Loving State
• Minnesota is the largest turkey-producing state in the U.S., supplying nearly 45 million turkeys annually. It’s no wonder many of our Thanksgiving turkeys originate there.

 

 

 

The post Thanksgiving Trivia: Bringing Everyone to the Table first appeared on Jane Jenkins Herlong.

A Fishy Showdown

When it comes to hiring a decorator, I’ll never forget the time Momma decided to bring in a “professional”—a Charleston decorator whose blue-blood reputation could make an oak tree feel common. Now, most Southern men love to decorate with trophy heads: deer, elk, the occasional wild turkey. But not Daddy. His taste leaned toward things with fins. Our house was practically an aquarium on dry land, with a Mako shark over the sofa, a Wahoo over the TV, a Red Snapper in the kitchen, and, reigning supreme, the massive sailfish from his trip to Acapulco greeted guests in the hallway. Daddy didn’t just decorate; he curated.

Decor with a Bite

To ensure this decorator got the full Southern experience, Momma had Tootsie whipping up her famous spiced chicken. The smell could’ve revived the dead, filling the house with aromas so powerful they put your fancy essential oils to shame.

Then came the knock—or rather, the double ding of the doorbell. In strutted Charleston royalty, a woman wrapped in a scarf so bold it was practically a shout, no doubt bought on King Street at Elza’s, and her heels—oh, those were definitely from Bob Ellis. She strolled through our humble ranch house with all the poise of someone assessing a plantation estate on Charleston’s South of Broad, murmuring and nodding, and casting little judgy glances at our decor choices.

Treasures from the Deep-Blue

Then Daddy walked in for dinner. And this esteemed decorator uttered the one phrase that could end her career on the spot: “Well, those fish have got to go.”

Daddy didn’t miss a beat. With a calm only a Southern man can pull off while inhaling red rice, Daddy said, “No, the first thing to go will be you.”

The cherry on top was Tootsie comment. “Oh, Gret Gawd. Dem fish gwine stay right on duh wall.” And you know what? They did. To this day, that mako shark and sailfish still lord over the family room, and Gawd help the poor soul who tries to move them.

1-  Stand Up for What Matters: Daddy’s fish collection wasn’t for everyone, but it mattered to him, and he didn’t let anyone tell him otherwise. Hold on to what you love, quirks and all.

2-  Stay True to Your Style: Not everything needs to be “picture-perfect.” Life’s more enjoyable when you surround yourself with things that bring you joy, not just things that fit others’ expectations.

3-  Family Traditions Are Priceless: The scent of Tootsie’s fried chicken and Red Rice filled the house, making memories stronger than any decor ever could. 

Family, food and fun are at the heart of the best memories.

Jane Jenkins Herlong went from farm fields to fame as a Sirius XM Humorist and best-selling author, sharing the stage with Jeff Foxworthy and Jerry Seinfeld. Her five award-winning Southern-fried books include “Sweet Tea Secrets from the Deep-Fried South,” now at Cracker Barrel. Speaker Hall of Fame inductee, Jane overcame dyslexia by turning “NOs” into “NEXTs” with humor. Featured on Sirius XM, Pandora, and Spotify, she speaks English, Southern, Northern, and Lowcountry Gullah. 

The post Life Lessons From Daddy’s Mako Shark first appeared on Jane Jenkins Herlong.

I-40W to 440W to 65S to 64W—Waynesboro, Tennessee. I’d been summoned to bring my Southern humor to a teacher in-service in this charming east Tennessee town, a place seemingly plucked from a Norman Rockwell painting. As I weaved through the mountains of Tennessee, “Rocky Top” blared in my rental car, the perfect soundtrack as I navigated up one incline and braked down the other. Quaint country stores, their windows filled with quilts and cider jars, lined Highway 64W, making me feel like I’d driven straight into a postcard.

Hello Darlin’

Pulling up to the hotel, I was transported back to The Three Pines in Waynesville, North Carolina. Every year, my parents made their post-tomato season pilgrimage there to escape the oppressive Lowcountry heat. This hotel was no Ritz Carlton, but it had its own charm.

As I turned into the parking lot, I spotted a blue princess phone hanging outside the one-story building. A large sign instructed, “For assistance dial 511.” Dutifully, I picked up the phone and was greeted with a cheerful, “Ho-te-el!” The kicker? The lady was only about two feet away from me. We could see each other, but she insisted on using that blue princess phone. Before I could get my full name out, she cut me off, “I know who you are. You spostah speak to them teachers tomorrow. We bin speckten you.” She then appeared from behind the building and said, “We puttin’ you in the nice room. Let me git in there and cut on the wind’r unit so you won’t git hot.”

The Iron from H*ll

I asked if she had an iron. After much fussing, she handed me an apparatus so mummified in duct tape, it was nearly unrecognizable. A small stick, taped to the top, kept the thing “on.”

“If I was you, I’d wear my rubber shoes when I plug it in. This thing’s liable to spit at ya,” she warned with a laugh.

What more could I ask for? The room was spotless and cool, and the service was friendly and accommodating. I loved it.

Worms and Dirt

That evening, the school’s Director of Instruction and his lovely wife took me to the town’s favorite eatery. Sunday evening worshipers trickled in, one by one. It felt like I was being introduced to the entire town. Everyone was so friendly, offering updates on each other’s health and gossip. After a meal that ended with “worms and dirt,” we toured Waynesboro. I loved it too. The tour included a drive through my hosts’ neighborhood. “This is where we live, and down this street is where our daughter lives. Next to her lives our daughter’s best friend and family…”

The next day, I enjoyed meeting the teachers and giving my presentations. They were kind and appreciative, just as I’d hoped.

Austin Peay

My visit concluded with All-You-Can-Eat Catfish Night, another local favorite. The table buzzed with talk of football, colleges, and UT—who went to UT and who shamefully attended another university. One gentleman said, “I went to Austin Peay (pronounced pea) University.”

“Hey, Gailand, tell Jane about y’alls cheer.”

Gailand grinned, “At games, we yell, ‘Let’s go Peay.'”

Just as I regained my composure, Gailand continued, “One time we had a basketball star with the last name of Fly. So we all got flyswatters, waved them in the air, and cheered—okay, y’all forgive me—’The Fly is open. Let’s go Peay.'”

You can’t make that stuff up.

Jane Jenkins Herlong went from farm fields to fame as a Sirius XM Humorist and best-selling author, sharing the stage with Jeff Foxworthy and Jerry Seinfeld. Her five award-winning Southern-fried books include “Sweet Tea Secrets from the Deep-Fried South,” now at Cracker Barrel.

A Speaker Hall of Fame inductee, Jane overcame dyslexia by turning “NOs” into “NEXTs” with humor. Featured on Sirius XM, Pandora, and Spotify, she speaks English, Southern, Northern, and Lowcountry Gullah. From her family’s tomato farm to the Miss America Pageant and Radio City Music Hall, Jane’s inspiring journey turns “NOs” into “NEXTs,” one laugh at a time. Don’t miss her act.

The post The Best Speaking Engagement EVER! first appeared on Jane Jenkins Herlong.

[image error]

Imagining yourself at the helm of saving the family farm is one thing, but living it is a whole different story. Here are a few hard-earned lessons:

Expect the Unexpected
No matter how prepared you think you are, you’ll never be fully ready for the rollercoaster of overseeing the family farm.

Get Your Documents in Order
This one’s non-negotiable. My wise husband, a financial planner, always said, “You can’t argue with facts.” Wills, recorded wishes, and documented facts cut through opinions and stand as the ultimate truth.

Brace for Troublemakers
Unfortunately, old resentments can surface when emotions run high. Stay calm and composed. Remember, arguing with a fool only makes you the bigger fool.

Involve a Neutral Third Party
A trusted, unbiased third party can be a godsend. My father’s trusted bookkeeper-turned-probate person was a blessing, focused solely on the best interests of the surviving spouse and children.

Stay Strong
Navigating this unfamiliar path, I was driven by my father’s voice, urging, “Do the right thing…” It’s not easy, but pressing forward despite the difficulty is essential. I lost some family members along the way, but I stayed true to what mattered most.

No Regrets
Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. Despite the challenges, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Jane Jenkins Herlong went from farm fields to fame as a Sirius XM Humorist and best-selling author, sharing the stage with Jeff Foxworthy and Jerry Seinfeld. Her five award-winning Southern-fried books include “Sweet Tea Secrets from the Deep-Fried South,” now at Cracker Barrel.

A Speaker Hall of Fame inductee, Jane overcame dyslexia by turning “NOs” into “NEXTs” with humor. Featured on Sirius XM, Pandora, and Spotify, she speaks English, Southern, Northern, and Lowcountry Gullah. From her family’s tomato farm to the Miss America Pageant and Radio City Music Hall, Jane’s inspiring journey turns “NOs” into “NEXTs,” one laugh at a time. Don’t miss her act.

The post Saving the Family Farm first appeared on Jane Jenkins Herlong.

I always knew Thomas was a fine man—a farmer with a lovely family—but that was about the extent of my knowledge. After enthusiastically agreeing to marry him, I asked the most shocking question, “Where do you live?”

Thomas mentioned the place I now consider the Bermuda Triangle of South Carolina: “In-Between.” All I heard was “in-between.”

300 Pound Alarm Clock

Six months later, Thomas and I were married, and I moved to a new town with exactly two traffic lights and a whopping population of 2,500. We lived in the Herlong pond house—a quaint one-thousand square foot concrete structure with only two rooms. The house was perched on the edge of a pond and a cow pasture. It wasn’t unusual for a 300-pound heifer to wake me up by scratching her head against our house.

The little town of Johnston, South Carolina, was a drastic change for me. The local folks are wonderful, and I’ve grown to love small-town life. Today, not much has changed except that Thomas now works with New York Life. Our town is so tiny that Thomas shares his office with Bland Funeral Home. I like to refer to it as “New York Life or Death.”

Funeralizin’ in the Deep South

Finding humor in every situation has been my coping mechanism, and this town is a treasure trove. Take Betty Derrick Bland Dowd, our local funeral homeowner and a remarkable woman. When my Aunt Elise Herlong Horne passed away, Betty practically ran a one-woman show. She led the family into the church, seated them, and when the pianist was a no-show, Betty slid onto the piano bench and played beautiful sacred hymns and Aunt Elise’s favorite songs. After the final note, she seamlessly transitioned back into funeral director mode, guiding the family to the cemetery. The only thing she didn’t do was fill in the grave herself.

Phone Faux Pas 

A friend shared a story about a funeral for a lovely stepmother with a beautifully blended family. During the service, the stepdaughter forgot to turn off her phone. As the casket was opened for the final viewing, her ringtone blared throughout the church. The song? None other than “Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead” from The Wizard of Oz. Imagine that! At the most solemn moment, the church echoed with, “Which old witch? The wicked witch. Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead.”

After the service, a family member tried to console the mortified stepdaughter. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Her classic response? “If I only had a brain.”

Jane Jenkins Herlong went from farm fields to fame as a Sirius XM Humorist and best-selling author, sharing the stage with Jeff Foxworthy and Jerry Seinfeld. Her five award-winning Southern-fried books include “Sweet Tea Secrets from the Deep-Fried South,” now at Cracker Barrel.

A Speaker Hall of Fame inductee, Jane overcame dyslexia by turning “NOs” into “NEXTs” with humor. Featured on Sirius XM, Pandora, and Spotify, she speaks English, Southern, Northern, and Lowcountry Gullah. From her family’s tomato farm to the Miss America Pageant and Radio City Music Hall, Jane’s inspiring journey turns “NOs” into “NEXTs,” one laugh at a time. Don’t miss her act.

The post Life in the Small Town Called INBETWEEN first appeared on Jane Jenkins Herlong.