Katherine Pierce Chinelli's Blog: Things I Really Love

Every morning I use a prompt from the book "Become an Idea Machine" by Claudia Azula Altucher to wake up my mind. This morning I found out about something online called "Quora," a forum for millions of questions and their answers. The book prompted me to find ten questions I felt pulled to answer, and it wasn't hard. Here are my two favorites:
1. What is more valuable than monetary wealth?
2. Which habit have you adopted that has done the most to improve your life?
My answers:
1. Happiness, health, wisdom, family, love, peace, contentment. These may seem like "easy" answers, but when we're grinding every day for money, sometimes I think we forget about the other things on the list.
2. Writing every day (or at least doing something creative.) I have this idea that even if I were to go blind or lose the use of my fingers to write and type, I would still be creating something, somehow, and it would probably have a story within.
What are your answers?

As a "momtrepreneur" I often find myself juggling life. Right now I am juggling the idea that it's about time to get my three-year-old potty-trained, as well as finding a preschool that's right for her and our budget, on top of promoting my nine books and, lastly, finding us a new house to live in.

Last time we sold our house it was a whirlwind that was done in a week. We had thirteen offers to choose from and no problem finding a replacement house. I thought this time it would be as easy, but after a month and a half of "looking" and putting in offers, as well as waiting for the perfect offer to come along for our house, I am beginning to feel a little tired of the whole process.

We looked at two gorgeous houses last night and, in one of them, a hanging on the wall caught my eye. It said, "You are exactly where you are meant to be." For some reason that just gave me comfort. I guess that's what it means to have faith. I have to know that whatever is meant to happen, is happening, and just to be patient. I guess patience is the lesson for now, patience and faith that all the balls will stay in the air, and the audience will be satisfied.

What are you busy juggling? How will you "keep the faith" that everything will work out? How do you remind yourself to stay patient? I would love to hear your story.

I am learning to let go of things I once cherished. This is the hardest part of moving on, being the me who I am now and letting go of who I no longer am. As I use the KonMari method to cleanse my life of those things/energies that no longer spark joy, it is amazing to discover what I am holding onto that no longer serves me in the life I am currently cultivating.

I found a novella I wrote my Freshman year at college and decided this was the time to publish it. Why not? It was ready to go, and when I wrote it the writing department seemed to gasp with amazement that a Freshman had written an entire novella in present tense-back when novellas weren't written that way. But when I started retyping it and changing a few things, I realized that the journey the main character takes is not one I want to rehash.

This novella is part of my history. Some very intense, painful stuff was in there. And I realized I've been clinging to the idea that it needs to be published. But when I realized I didn't want to go on that journey again, it dawned on me that maybe I was clinging to it, but it no longer sparked joy.

Is it okay to let go of those things that once grabbed so tightly to your soul that they were inseperable? Is it okay to say, thank you, novel, even though you once served me in a very amazing and comforting way, and even though you are part of the very fabric of my being, I will let you go now? Yes, I still think the writing is beautiful and the characters interesting, but I know for sure if I go through it all again, I will be re-wounded. For that, I have to say, thank you and goodbye, my dear, lovely novel.

My life is all about balance. It's about family. It's about being the healthiest, most balanced, most most of myself that I can be.

Lately I am studying the five element theory, both in Traditional Chinese Medicine and in the feng shui sense. I like knowing that the old adage-- to everything there is a season-- applies.

It is Spring. Spring corresponds to the wood element: determination, anger, compassion, criticism and the ability to make a decision with ease. Wood gives us the strength to set limits and grow abundantly both at the same time.

Today at the park I stretched my legs for the first time in over three years. During pregnancy I gained about 70 pounds. I have since shed them, but up until now my knees have never forgiven me. Today I had the urge, so I followed it. I ran.

I didn't just run. I sprinted. Full out, gleeful, unbridled. Four times around.

Now I know what they mean by runner's high.

And now I remember, as a kid, how much I loved to run. Maybe Spring has brought me something new, something I loved but never explored. When I ran, I felt new. I felt like more of myself.

What is Spring bringing for you? How will you grow? How can you be more of you?

As the mother of toddler who, as of a month ago, no longer takes naps, I realized something very important at the dawning of this new year: relaxation is imperative.

I know what you might be thinking: "You're a stay-at-home mom. You have plenty of downtime."

Really? If you call downtime my daughter climbing on my back while I eat dinner, or popping into my bedroom to play princesses with me first thing upon waking, then, yes, I have plenty.

To be fair, she is very good about "Quiet Time" in her room, the hour I have to myself that used to be the time she napped. She will play quietly until she gets bored, or hears daddy playing his Xbox in the living room. Then she will come running out with an impish grin that says "Are you going to chase me back in, or let me come out now?"

So relaxation is my priority. I've had to let go of some things that seemed very important to me. I've had to make time to relax. In fact, the only reason I have time to write this now is because I've "gasp" set my daughter up with a movie to watch on my phone so I can have some downtime.

So my relaxation comes in 3 styles. And if I, with my two, almost two-and-a-half-year-old can do it, so can you.

1. 30 minutes Progressive Muscle Relaxation. There are several ways to do it, all searchable online. I do it while I watch my daughter take a bath. And because parenting has made my sleep less deep over time, PMR has helped to correct that. You could also do it right before going to sleep, especially if you have trouble relaxing enough to fall asleep.

2. 5 minutes, 5 times a day of breathing in and thinking "Breathe In" and breathing out and thinking "Relax." Again, I do this while I watch my daughter play at the park or pull ornaments off our Christmas tree.

3. Anytime you need to relax or diffuse strong emotion. Focus on circular breathing. I got it from a yoga book. You can put a book on your diaphragm while lying down or not. Try to breathe evenly and slowly--breathe in and just as you've reached the top of your breath, right after, very slowly start to breathe out. When you're at the end of your breath, immediately, slowly start to breathe in again. The goal is to make a circle of your breath so it's unbroken, even, easy.

This is one of my three, main, personal priorities of the day. Relaxation has eased my anger from last year immensely and helped me be a more easy-going, fun mom. If I can do it, you can too.

Lately I have taken to following my heart, listening closely.

After I re-read Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist and found he talked a lot about listening to one's heart and following the signs and omens of the universe, I decided to take his advice and start listening.

It's funny what I began to hear.

See, my head tells me lots of things. Often I think the things my brain is telling me are true: like how I need to worry about my husband when he doesn't get home on time, or how I should stress about my daughter not eating her vegetables at dinner. But when I start to listen to my heart, I was surprised at what I heard.

Here's what my heart had to say: I am content.

I was like, what? How can you be content? What about all this stuff I should be worrying about like money, or noisy neighbors or Christmas shopping?

When I kept listening all my heart said was: I am content.

So I started to think maybe my heart is right, and my head is just trying to protect me, even though most of the time I probably don't have to worry.

Now I'm happy to believe my heart, even if my head's still going on with worrying.

I want to ask now: what does your heart say to you?

Healing Myself

This year has been one of learning for me. In feng shui the number 7 or wisdom and knowledge is associated with this year. This year I got in touch with the side of myself I thought didn't exist: my anger.

When I was a teenager one evening I got so angry I felt myself float up and out of my body. From then on I suppressed and hid my anger, turning it inward, afraid of what I might do if it came out again. Besides damaging my love for myself intensely, I lost touch with how to use anger as a tool to realign myself.

Fast forward to this year when my anger decided it was time to stop hiding.

At first I was afraid. I thought there was something wrong with me. I didn't think it was possible there was anything to heal. I didn't think my anger existed.

Several weeks ago I picked up two books. One called: Five Simple Steps To Emotional Healing by Gloria Arenson. The second: Thoughts and Feelings by McKay, Davis and Fanning.

Book One: Uses tapping to realign the energy in your body. I found that by tapping as I experienced things I didn't like (my anger) I lessned the upset I experienced along with my emotion. This WORKS.

Book Two: Exercizes to actually notice the deep automatic thought-patterns in your psyche that lead you to excess emotions without you even knowing how you got there. Cognitive Behavioral Techniques to help yourself re-learn new patterns of healthy behavior. It is a lot of work, but they say "knowing is half the battle."

I'm not all the way "there" yet, but I figured I would share. I know I'm not the only one. To those of you who have experienced the less than happy side of me: I'm sorry. All I can say is I'm working my way toward a new and emotionally healthier me.

How to Be More of Yourself!

1. Explore the things you love.
2. Allow yourself time every day to do the things you love. No excuses.
3. Share the things you love with other people who also love those things.
4. Accept that who you are right this minute is perfect.
5. Ignore skepticism, negativity or nay-saying from other people who can't see your amazing creativity, beauty, truth, love and innate worth even, and especially, if those viewpoints come from people you love and trust.
6. Listen to the quietest whispers of your deepest heart and soul. Follow them without question.
7. Ask yourself everyday how you can create more of what you love in your life.
8. Don't allow your feelings of 'lack' (time, money, worthiness, love, friends, knowledge) to halt your deepening of yourself. If you have the capacity to think, you have the ability to follow your deepest truth. The 'how' will be revealed in time.
9. If you have a feeling you want to do something, follow it with the faith that only you can be right about where you need to be going.
10. Look at yourself with true appreciation and love every time you pass your own reflection. If you can't yet muster those feelings, pretend you are looking at a stranger you find beautiful and intriguing until you finally feel that way about yourself again. You did once. You can do it again.

Love, Love, LOVE.

Ten Ways to Love Myself

1. Say/Think "I am beautiful" every morning as I look in the mirror.

2. Practice using my creative muslce every day.

3. Read books that sing to my spirit.

4. Look into the face of someone I love and see my love reflected back to me.

5. Wear something that I love and I think looks good on me.

6. Celebrate my love by sending texts to other people telling them I love/appreciate them.

7. Smile genuinely as I pass my reflection.

8. Look at my hands and body and see what hard, loving work they put toward my goals. They never complain of being unappreciated.

9. Sing, dance, play. If I can't, I know my daughter is always down for that. Relax into it.

10. Thank my inner self, my heart, my lungs, my brain for all they do. Thank myself for loving myself.

Inspired by James Altucher's book: Choose Yourself; Be Happy, Make Millions, Live the Dream. Thank you, James Altucher for inspiring greater love and happiness, and, of course, thank you to my sister who got me this book, and thank you to all those in my life who spread this amazing love.

I appreciate that I have a lovely home with a large yard for my daughter to play in.

I appreciate that my husband has a great job with a steady paycheck.

I appreciate that I can stay home with my daughter and watch her grow and learn.

I appreciate that I can publish my books for free online and feel accomplished.

I appreciate that I am surrounded by family and friends who love and support me.

I appreciate my computer with its quick word processing, fast internet connection, up-to-date software and that it's virus free.

I appreciate my brain for all it does and processes and how it works so well.

I appreciate my health and my always burning creativity.

I appreciate my cat for being such a faithful companion and so healthy.

I appreciate my savings account for being there for me and my family when we need it.

I appreciate all the free knowledge that we can share all over the world with each other.

I appreciate all the love I give and receive.

I appreciate that there is so much to be thankful for right here and right now.