Healing Myself

This year has been one of learning for me. In feng shui the number 7 or wisdom and knowledge is associated with this year. This year I got in touch with the side of myself I thought didn't exist: my anger.

When I was a teenager one evening I got so angry I felt myself float up and out of my body. From then on I suppressed and hid my anger, turning it inward, afraid of what I might do if it came out again. Besides damaging my love for myself intensely, I lost touch with how to use anger as a tool to realign myself.

Fast forward to this year when my anger decided it was time to stop hiding.

At first I was afraid. I thought there was something wrong with me. I didn't think it was possible there was anything to heal. I didn't think my anger existed.

Several weeks ago I picked up two books. One called: Five Simple Steps To Emotional Healing by Gloria Arenson. The second: Thoughts and Feelings by McKay, Davis and Fanning.

Book One: Uses tapping to realign the energy in your body. I found that by tapping as I experienced things I didn't like (my anger) I lessned the upset I experienced along with my emotion. This WORKS.

Book Two: Exercizes to actually notice the deep automatic thought-patterns in your psyche that lead you to excess emotions without you even knowing how you got there. Cognitive Behavioral Techniques to help yourself re-learn new patterns of healthy behavior. It is a lot of work, but they say "knowing is half the battle."

I'm not all the way "there" yet, but I figured I would share. I know I'm not the only one. To those of you who have experienced the less than happy side of me: I'm sorry. All I can say is I'm working my way toward a new and emotionally healthier me.