Ken Poirot's Blog - Posts Tagged "ukraine"

Dating in a Fast-Paced Society

In our fast-paced society filled with professionals spending endless hours dedicated to their careers, online dating has become a fixture.

Albeit a convenient necessity to help expand social circles, as well as an opportunity to meet someone new while permitting complete flexibility to work the relationship into our busy lifestyles.

You can't spend almost 5 hours a day with someone for three months, even online, without getting to know quite a bit about the person.

So was the case with Tania.

In appearance on video chat she was a mousy girl, and I mean that affectionately.

A bit shy at times, with big brown, beautiful sparkling eyes filled with life, enthusiasm, and the inquisitive brilliance of playful curiosity.

Her eyes were her most striking feature, as I am always most attracted to a girls' eyes at first.

Hers smiled radiantly through the endless miles that separated us; her eyes brought us closely connected together, an unbreakable bond.

Then there was her hair; long dark, shimmering, luscious, silky locks which danced with her endless expressions and effervescent smile. Sometimes her hair was up, sometimes down, or drawn to one side gently caressing her soft, smooth, delicate neck.

Frequently at night she wore glasses, which just added to the studious, intelligent, cute, mousy-girl-look which I found so attractive.

We would share everything together over those months: our hopes, dreams, and ambitions in life; even our thoughts on family and raising children together.

During that whole time, very few days passed without long conversations. Maybe twice a full twenty-four hours passed when we both knew we would have to wait for our next rendezvous, due to commitments with family or friends.

She dreamed of becoming a fashion designer and showed me some of her work; a painting and drawing from her studies.

A skirt she designed; a long, full-length skirt with sheer blue fabric. The skirt was draped and sewn perfectly to appear and allow for flowing movement; it looked beautiful and very impressive. Not that I know much about fashion design myself, none more than I have seen on "Project Runway," but still, it made an impression as it was quite stunning.

We can all appreciate it when someone has passion for their work or a special project with which they are involved. Just as we can all recognize talent. This girl had both; passion for all that she did, especially design, and a depth of talent.

Then there were the other cute things she made. Drapes for her windows, a design she sewed on her sofa cushion at home, and various decorations, like Christmas ornaments; the kind of attention to detail and passion which makes a house a home.

It made me feel, and I imagined myself, as a proud husband with a wife who took great joy in making a warm, cozy place for all to spend their time as a family.

She also starred in a couple music videos. She never mentioned them, but I stumbled over them online. When I asked about them her response was quiet humility.

It is a rare beauty who can be both cute and sexy: a truly scarce combination. Most women can only be one or the other; she was both...cute and sexy at the same time.

The Perfect First Date

It was my 5th time to visit the Ukraine. Tania and I had really connected online, but you never know if that connection will carry over to an in person, face-to-face meeting or not.

Anyone who has spent any time in the online dating world knows, sometimes you hit it off with someone online, yet when you meet, the same chemistry is just not there. For this reason, there was a lot of anxiety leading up to my meeting with Tania in Odessa, Ukraine.

I so desperately wanted to know what it would be like together in person, and I had butterflies in my stomach over the anticipation.

Could this really be the one? Would our inseparable connection online be as strong in person, or would we feel that awkward silence of no connection at all?

I contacted a friend in Odessa before my visit, an old girlfriend from a previous trip with whom a romantic relationship had not progressed into a serious future.

I wanted my first date and meeting with Tania to be perfect, so I asked my friend, Aliona, to help me prepare a special, favorable first impression for Tania.

As I do not speak the language in Odessa, predominately Russian, I would need help finding and buying items for my first date with Tania. I wanted to have flowers for her and her translator, champagne, and I asked Aliona for suggestions to make everything as romantic as possible, from a Ukrainian girls' point of view.

Tania's Arrival and Our First Date

Aliona and I scrambled to have all ready for Tania by the time she arrived. Tania was scheduled to arrive a couple hours after noon and when Aliona and I called her, we found Tania was arriving early.

We had bought apples, mangoes, flowers, and champagne for Tania and her translator.

As Aliona was cutting the fruit, I dashed down the hall to the property manager's office; I needed vases for the two sets of flowers...red roses for Tania and yellow, friendship, roses for her translator.

Maria, the flat manager, emptied flowers out of one vase and graciously gave it to me, along with a second empty vase.

As I returned to the flat, Aliona had finished cutting up the apples and was skinning the mangoes. Aliona informed me (not that I would know), "If you leave the skin on, the mangoes are bitter, so it is best to take the skin off."

Our original intention was for Aliona to leave before Tania arrived, as you do not want your ex-girlfriend and new girlfriend to meet, since it could make all a little uncomfortable (and especially on our first date).

Tania arrived early. I walked outside, greeted her with a hug, and offered to help her (and her translator) with their luggage.

I pointed out my flat as we passed it on the way to theirs, which was further down the hall. I opened their door, gave them the key, and took Tania's suitcase inside. I told the translator once they are settled into their flat, to please come by my flat.

As Aliona finished the last plate of fruit, there was a knock on my door. Here was the uncomfortable moment I was hoping to avoid: ex-girlfriend meets new girlfriend. Just a couple more minutes and Aliona would have been gone.

The mishap and unintentional meeting only added to my already nervous anxiety. I opened the door and gestured to the red roses on the window sill, which I had placed in their vase just seconds before. Tania told her translator I should present them to her...my first mistake besides Aliona still being there.

Aliona is an intuitive girl and she knew it was time to leave. So as not to be rude to Aliona, who had helped me all morning, I politely excused myself and hurriedly escorted her out of the building.

We walked quickly across the courtyard and said goodbye. As I gave her a friendly hug she said, "Tania...she has foxy eyes. Be careful!"

I thanked Aliona for her help and we bid farewell.

Translation Disaster

Later that evening, Tania, her translator, Gala, and I went to a club. Our first date which started out with such anxiety and many timing mishaps on my part, was turning out quite beautifully.

Tania and I were sitting next to each other holding hands, while Gala was sitting across the table from us. It was cold in Odessa in February, near zero Celsius, so I had worn a sports jacket under my coat. We had checked our coats upon entry to the club, so I took off my sports jacket as it was a bit warm inside.

Tania was even more beautiful in person. Full of life and energy, those eyes dancing as her radiance filled the room. I will never forget her smile, the way her hair shined in the light with crowning perfection. I was smitten; filled with the heavenly sound and cadence of her voice, as I felt the magic, tingling energy of her touch.

I leaned over to our translator, Gala, and said, "We have a lot in common." Gala spoke to Tania in Russian and everything changed that instant.

Tania was obviously offended. She tossed away my hand and refused to look at me!

Just like that...in one instance all changed 180 degrees. I could not figure out what happened at first; I asked Gala what she had said to Tania to cause such a reaction.

I looked at Gala struck with bewildered disbelief. Gala looked at Tania again and they spoke. This time Tania's speech was fast, angry, defensive, and dismissive.

Gala looked over at me and said, "I am sorry, I mistranslated." She tried to explain the mistake to Tania, but she would not hear of it.

I leaned over and tried to hold Tania's hand, which was now far away in her stretched out arms on the table; she would not respond and she ignored me.

Gala gestured for us to go and we walked out of the club. I was so upset I completely forgot my sports jacket...which was never seen again.

We retrieved our coats from the entrance of the club; next was the most uncomfortable taxi ride I have ever experienced. Tania did not want to be there and especially not stuck in the back of the taxi with me.

Gala continued to plead with Tania, but she was not in the mood to listen. Gala apologized to me over and over again.

All I could figure is she might have translated my words as, "We do not have a lot in common" instead of "We have a lot in common." I was not even sure if that was the source of the confusion and miscommunication.

We all arrived back at my flat and the girls came inside; I sat on the bed while they sat on the couch across from me.

Tania would not listen to anything we said, instead, she turned to Gala and mentioned something about me, and then stormed out of the flat.

At this moment I was overcome by emotion. All the anticipation, the months leading up to this moment, scheduling our first meeting, the preparation, the nervous energy and hope...it all came crashing over me like a giant wave of pressure needing to be released.

My eyes welled up with tears which spilled out over their lids and rolled down my cheeks, then dripped off my chin. I looked over at Gala with mournful despondency and said, "I can't make her love me."

That was the end of our first evening together. So much for creating the perfect first date...

The Day After Disaster

I didn't sleep well that night. I woke up early, much earlier than normal, and really did not know what to do.

Some girls want you to come after them, to chase them, to try to make things right. Other girls want you to leave them alone, completely, and forever, while some want you to wait and let them come to you.

It is difficult enough to know what to do in the USA, let alone in a completely different culture, language, and country.

I waited for a while. I showered and cleaned up hoping to hear from Tania or Gala for some direction. Nothing...the morning continued with silence.

"Maybe the girls are not up yet," I thought. I had been hungry since I woke up, so I decided to get some breakfast, think about all that had transpired that evening, then decide what to do next.

On my way out of the flat I saw the three tickets I had procured for the ballet, one for each of us for that evening.

During our conversations, Tania had mentioned she had never been to the ballet, so I had purchased tickets for us. I thought, "Regardless of what happens, I still want to take her to the ballet, even if she does not want to date me anymore; I can still take her as friends."

A few hours after I arrived back from breakfast, Gala sheepishly tapped on my door. As I opened it she said, "I don't know what do do. Tania packed her bags and she wants to go back home to Kherson. Both of you were crying last night and I do not know what to do."

I explained how I would still like to take them both to the ballet that evening, no matter what. I told her to have Tania come over to my flat, by herself, so we can see if we can work all this out together in private.

I wanted to work it out. Gala had made a mistranslation the previous evening which began the whole misunderstanding in the first place, so I figured it was best if Tania and I spoke alone.

I had a pocket translator so we could type to each other, and there was always the computer I brought, as well as the computer belonging to the flat; we would be able to communicate.

Shortly thereafter, there was a knock on the door. Tania looked miserable, truly unhappy; the look of a girl who had been crying all night long. She walked across the room as I closed the door; she sat on window sill, which was directly opposite the door, as far away from me as possible.

I walked over and put my arms around her, warmly, gently, and kissed her as I held her in my arms.

She got up and moved over to the bed, walking with a defensive posture, arms crossed in front of her and eyes looking down to the floor, avoiding mine.

I moved over to the bed where she was sitting, her back against the wall at the head of the bed. I lay down next to her, with my arms gently around her legs and looked up. I took the electronic translator out of my pocket and glanced up once more.

I was wearing a baseball cap and she took it off, tossing it aside, so she could better see my eyes. She typed and passed the pocket translator to me so I could see what she wrote, "I sorry for my bad behavior."

I gazed at her with warmth, compassion, and love in my eyes, typed, then handed her back the translator so she could read my words, "With great love comes great forgiveness."

The Happiest Day of My Life

We went to the ballet that evening and had a great time. We met up with her friend Vlada, who lived in Odessa, and also had a wonderful late night at a club.

The next day we had sushi at the restaurant by our flat. This picture was taken there:

https://www.goodreads.com/photo/autho...

Per my suggestion, and since Tania had never been to the beach in Odessa, we took a taxi to the Arcadia area by the sea.

It was cold and windy by the water and Tania's gorgeous hair, always made agonizingly perfect was amusingly wind-blown as we shivered from the biting, damp, cold, salty air. She looked at me and ran her hands through her hair in surrender at her unusually disorderly appearance, as we laughed together.

We dodged into the nearest cafe for respite from the cold and hot tea to warm us up, while we looked out the window over at the Black Sea. As our eyes met, we both knew what we were feeling; the connection online was now just as strong in person.

We arrived back at our flat, packed the taxi, and left for Kherson together. We were in the back seat which was stuffed with a few of our things that did not fit in the trunk.

She looked over at me, smiled, and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly the whole way to Kherson, for almost three hours. As she glanced over at me from time-to-time, catching my eyes and smiling; I could see her heart, radiance, and soul through her eyes.

That taxi ride from Odessa to Kherson is the moment she fell in love with me.

We stopped once for gasoline (petrol) and she excused herself to the restroom. My hand had fallen asleep; I did not care for it was holding the hand of the one I loved.

As she exited the taxi, I moved my fingers to shake out that tell-tale pins-and-needles feeling. As she entered the taxi again, she immediately reached over, smiled, and grabbed my hand.

That was the best day of my life.

In that moment, I held in my hand everything I had longed for my entire life. That feeling, the kind of love that makes you question if you have ever truly felt love before.

No one mattered from before nor had anyone ever mattered in that instance, except for Tania.

In all the world there was only Tania and me; me and Tania. No one else in the entire universe existed...just me and Tania.

Always remember: with great love comes great forgiveness.

Warmly,
Ken Poirot

Mentor Me: GA=T+E—A Formula to Fulfill Your Greatest Achievement

Ken Poirot

The Fundamental Misunderstanding of Cause and Effect

The War on Terror is being lost because world leaders missed the most basic and fundamental lesson we all learn in grade school: the relationship between cause and effect.

Radical Islam is not the enemy nor is it the root cause; it is the effect.

World leaders have spent so much time and energy focusing their attention hunting terrorists at home and abroad (after terrorist attacks have already been committed) that they have completely overlooked the true enemy.

The real enemy has nothing to do with a small fraction of Muslims who preach a religion of hatred we call Radical Islam.

The enemy world leaders have completely missed, the cause that allows hatred to grab hold in the first place, then infect, and fester in our world has nothing to do with the Islamic faith; the real enemy is poverty .

The West is losing The War on Terror because they have failed to recognize poverty as the enemy and, therefore, come up with an effective plan to defeat it.


The Global Eradication of Poverty

Poverty is the fertile ground that allows the seed of hatred to be planted, spread, and disseminated throughout the world.

Without poverty, if there was actually prosperity in those afflicted regions of the world, if all those individuals held hope for a more promising future along with living well presently, there would be no Radical Islam and no terrorism.

After all, what person would want to blow themselves up, train for murdering their fellow human beings, or inflict misery on others if they were living a happy, fulfilling, and prosperous life?

It is time to deal with the cause, come up with a plan of attack, and defeat the true enemy: it is time for The Global Eradication of Poverty !


The Cost of a Missed Opportunity

By failing to diagnose the real problem and properly identify the enemy from the beginning, world leaders have created a self-feeding, chain reaction perpetually increasing the number of terrorists.

This misstep has created a viscious cycle that could have been truncated at its roots, but that missed opportunity has allowed millions of people worldwide (if not tens of millions) to be converted into a religion of hate.


The Cyclical Religion of Hate

As illustrated below, we are now playing a part in this viscious cycle helping to create more terrorists.

In this cycle, the terrorist leaders preach hate, recruiting poor, disenchanted individuals to perform acts of terrorism. In response to these acts of terrorism, we send bombs, which reinforces the original message of hate as a tangible basis for that hatred. Thereby, in turn, our bombs increase the conversion of new recruits indoctrinated into The Cyclical Religion of Hate.

This self perpetuating cycle proceeds through perpetuity and is best illustrated as a resultant growth curve.

That is why we are losing The War on Terror; instead of wiping out the terrorists we have given them ample fodder to increase their numbers exponentially without ever dealing with its root cause of poverty.

As a result, now the number of terrorists and their acts of terrorism are too great; we cannot avoid hunting them down to cull their present numbers.


Poverty and the Annexation of The Crimea

The enemy of poverty is not isolated to The Cyclical Religion of Hate nor is it constrained to our present world crisis.

Just as the major global issues we are dealing with today, so did poverty play a role in most major upheavals throughout history.

For example, both the French Revolution and The Bolshevik Revolution were a product of inequality among a mainly impoverished population. In fact, Communism itself was fundamentally based upon redistribution of wealth in order to provide for all people equally, thereby wiping out poverty.

In recent history, when I spoke to my friends in The Crimea, prior to its annexation by Russia, they expressed the hope for a better future and prosperity with Russia as their desire for reunification. Consequently, they were even willing to suffer more short-term for the promise of a brighter tomorrow.

In other words, if not for the poverty in The Crimea and Ukraine, Russia would have failed in its hasty Crimean annexation .


Poverty and North Korea

Even the current situation in North Korea has an impoverished population as the root cause of the problem.

Maybe the best way to end the North Korean crisis is not with more sanctions which further exacerbates the poverty of the populace?

Instead, the best way forward with North Korea is more likely meetings with their leaders about a mutually beneficial plan to create prosperity for their people.


Poverty and Domestic Crime

Furthermore, what proportion of domestic crime is committed by those who live in poverty?

I would submit our prisons and those who commit crimes in the USA are disproportionately represented by those who live or grow up in poverty.

Therefore, even domestically, the lack of hope in the attainment of prosperity among our poorest individuals leads to increased criminal activity.

As such, poverty in the USA creates a whole host of social ills.


A Plan of Attack Against a Ubiquitous Enemy

In summary, isn't it time to come up with a plan of attack against the ubiquitous world enemy of poverty?

Isn't it time to break The Cyclical Religion of Hate and end world suffering by dealing with its root cause?

Rather than just wiping out terrorists and creating exponentially more in a never ending viscious cycle, doesn't it make strategic sense to simultaneously attack its root cause of poverty?

If world leaders want to ultimately win The War on Terror then it is time for them to recognize the true enemy is poverty, and come up with a systematic plan for its annihilation.

Isn't it time for The Global Eradication of Poverty!?


Warmly,
Ken Poirot