Allison Rose's Blog

I.

Seems you’d like nothing more than to have that imaginary girl

Gather her into your arms, run your hands through her short black hair

Whisper in her elfin ears that you treasure her, you love her, whatever (ew)

The imaginary girl who sounds like that does not exist

So many things going on right now, but if they breathed a word

Seems you’ll think it was how you hurt your imaginary girl

And that the world revolves around your imaginary love for

The imaginary girl who sou...

All the undesirables of me

I see those features in your face

One that formed a beautiful one

Who carried on and had another

I never met you but I see you in my face

And it scares the shit out of me

Everything I do know about you

Makes me think, get out of my face

And all the things that she won’t say

They scare me all the more so, for

Nobody outside hurts my beloveds

And lives to tell about it

I wanted to know about you

Because curiosity burns and kills

I dodged a bullet by following my brain

When my heart said it’d be worth it

Having a mother like that

Having a sister like that

Having a home like that

Having an end like that

Hating the ones I love

Arguing about who we are

Who we were

Who we’d be

Whom I could never become

Whose I’d never happily be

I can’t change for her

He can’t change for me

She wouldn’t let it be

I dodged a bullet by following my brain

If only you could stay a while

Not so long that you can’t come back

Not for so long that it becomes a crime

Just long enough that I’d drift away

Believing the lie that you’d come along

And when I return, I won’t panic

I won’t follow you to where I can’t come back

I won’t go to where it would be a crime

I’ll thank you and walk back away

I’ll know that your time was up

I want to walk away, but walking away is as good as stabbing you in the heart with a knife

I want to say nothing, but silence is violence like words and fists to your face

I want to smile, but smiling is affection and that means I can’t let go

I want to frown and glare, but I might as well have smiled

If I do absolutely nothing, you’ll take it some way, and that way will be wrong

But anything I do, you’d say I do it for and against you

When I see you again, I want to be unseen

A/N: No, this blog hasn’t been hacked! I’m trying to write *something, anything* and this is a place I can post things I’ve written. Here is a thing, albeit nonfiction, I’ve written for no particular reason except to muse about an adulting thing most of you have probably figured out long ago.

In some ways, it feels like this pandemic has put so much of life as I knew it has paused. And yet, time continues to flow in this little pocket of uncertainty. To continue existing within, I still have ...

With this pandemic lockdown in full swing, most if not all of the public libraries in my area are closed. In their absence, I’ve started enjoying the offerings of several Little Free Libraries that popped up around my neighborhood in the last few years: cute, birdhouse-like boxes, often decorated with hand-painted designs and inviting colors, that contain a shelf or two of books. One’s mileage varies depending on the library box (someone in my neighborhood seems to be using it as a way to get ri...

At first she took it in silence

biting her tongue

until someone noticed and

spoke up to her defense

even so, there was no escaping

retaliation

Angrily, he criticized

beat her with his words

unrelenting insults

“saving her from herself”

everything was justified as

defense from imaginary offenses

And so she spoke up to defend herself

but her words were only proof

unilaterally, they’d believed him

she was the villain in their eyes

every mishap...

At first she took it in silence

biting her tongue

until someone noticed and

spoke up to her defense

even so, there was no escaping

retaliation

Angrily, he criticized

beat her with his words

unrelenting insults

“saving her from herself”

everything was justified as

defense from imaginary offenses

And so she spoke up to defend herself

but her words were only proof

unilaterally, they’d believed him

she was the villain in their eyes

every mishap...

Hi, I’m Allison, and I haven’t written anything (aside from some angsty poetry that won’t see the light of day) in a long, long while.

I’ve been through some interesting shtick, and now I live near some train tracks, so voiceover has been completely out the window, unless I can find some way to cutely incorporate trains going noisily by into my delivery with one third of the grace with which Robin Williams could with his neurological tics. Yeah, no. Sorry.

I miss writing. I really do. I ha...