Allen G. Bagby's Blog

The post’s content is diverse, varied, and potentially uncomfortable. There are some discordant notes and some resolution. I needed to piece it all together like a mosaic and hope for the best.

So, here goes…

And please let your theological SWAT team rest while reading this.

I’ve seen bloggers do what I’m doing: they post for a while, then stop because they lose momentum and the drive to sustain it. However, I can’t stay away.

For whatever reason, I’m the type of person who feels the need to capture my thoughts on the pages of the blogs I have had over the years or record them in the stacks of journals I have around my house.

Writing is therapeutic for me. The act of typing or writing is tactile. The sense of touch makes me feel like I’m sculpting something with my hands and my mind, and it’s the same when I write lyrics for songs I make with AI-generated music on my YouTube channel. It connects my soul to the physical world. I’ve noticed that ideas born of contemplation can vanish like dreams we don’t remember by mid-morning. I like to capture those ideas before they disappear.

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When I share my thoughts publicly, it can be for various reasons. I might aim to make you laugh, provoke thought, or foster a sense of unity around a subject, such as a current event.

Sometimes it feels prophetic, not in predicting the Day of the Lord, but in inspiring people about something I believe is essential. This can lead to various reactions: some may feel anger towards me, be distressed by my words, call me an idiot or a heretic, or simply ignore me, viewing me as a tempest in a teapot. The range of responses is quite broad.

Some time ago, I stirred up quite a bit of controversy by criticizing Calvinism. As a result, I lost subscribers and my view count significantly dropped. I hadn’t realized that some of my subscribers identified as Calvinists. This situation discouraged me not only because of the loss of followers but also due to the fact that some of them seemed to be offended by my negative remarks about Calvinism. In other words, they subscribed because they believed in it or something similar. Losing subscribers felt like a double blow.

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Since then, I’ve posted infrequently. I’ve been quieter, not because I’ve run out of things to say, but because I’ve uncovered more negative aspects of the Reformation as a whole. I don’t know where to begin. I realized the TULIP was pretty much the tumorous manifestation of a deeper devil.

Our primary focus should not be on what the Bible doesn’t say, i.e., it’s not Calvinism, or Arminianism, or Molinism, etc., but what the Bible does say. And that’s what I started thinking about. I wanted to be more positive. So, I reread the whole Bible and did micro-studies on almost every page. I added weight to my Bible with more ink and highlighter from December 2024 to July 2025.

And, I am sorry-not-sorry to say I’m only going to become more irritating if you cling to some core doctrines of the Reformation.

I’ve been hesitant to return and write here because my core purpose isn’t to provoke people; often, that seems like a needless consequence. My goal is to help others gain a deeper understanding of the Scriptures. Doctrinal presuppositions can create obstacles to more rational and realistic responses. It’s not just about the doctrines I find questionable, which can create issues for thoughtful individuals, but also about helping Christians remain steadfast in their faith and avoid the wandering I experienced at 28. It caused me to shipwreck my spiritual life for decades. And, I was missing in action for my family and my daughter.

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Writing about fundamental questions, such as but not limited to “How can a good God allow so much suffering in the world?” or “Why did God wipe out the nations of Canaan?” is a call I feel deeply now. The questions have answers. It’s not like Christians should be surprised by these questions. Our ancestors have been answering them for centuries, and yet the average Christian can’t answer them.

Relying on Catholicism, Calvinism, Molinism, whatever-ism, will not solve these questions. A few Different types of examples are:

When a couple asks a hardcore Calvinist pastor if their stillborn baby went to hell, the pastor answers them by saying it depends on whether the child was elect or not, causing many Christians to turn away from Christianity instead of Calvinism.

In the skeptical/atheist world, one of the supposed gotcha questions is “So, you believe in a talking snake?” I have an excellent explanation for this, but not today.

In the esoteric world, there are Christians who report to their pastor that aliens have abducted them, or they had a near-death experience, and they need to talk about it. Instead, the pastor says (sorry if I poison the well a bit), “I’m sorry. Them aliens ain’t in my King James Bible,” or, “My ESV Bible says it is appointed once for a man to die.” Instead of helping them address their concerns, the pastor refers them to a psychiatrist. Long story short, they end up in the New Age movement with crystals and pyramids hanging over their beds at night.

These are sincere topics and concerns for many people worldwide. Not all pastors neglect the questions about God, aliens, and NDEs. But a lot are taken aback by them.

These and other topics are worthy subjects to dive into instead of scratching the surface and giving flippant answers, and I have sat on my hands for too long. I need to write. And this post is me giving myself permission to return and post. If I offend you, I’m not really sorry. If I help you, great. That is my goal. But I must warn you. I’m going to say things that will rattle your classical view taught by the so-called “great” preachers and theologians. I’m not alone in this. There are preachers, theologians, and people like me who agree.

I will be very blunt. How can my God allow unspeakable evil if He is omnipotent and good? Classical theologians teach that God basically has either exhaustive foreknowledge of the future, because He preordained it all anyway, or He possesses a “crystal ball” through which He peers into the future and decides not to do anything. Also, that God is outside of time. So, if He is outside of time, then why doesn’t He move down the line and prevent history’s great horrors? I’ve been contemplating these issues for a while. If this is true, then I believe it maligns the character of God. Honestly, it sounds more like the character of Satan. But I was only taught the view above. So I was going around and around in circles.

In closing, the event that accelerated this train of thought was the assassination of Charlie Kirk. I don’t think God was necessarily surprised by the depth of human evil, but I also don’t think God foreordained it. Nor do I believe this world was a world God chose from several options He imagined, and that Kirk’s fate, my fate, and your fate were set in stone before creation.

I was already mostly there, but I finally reached a place that dissolved the above issues and kept my God’s character intact. No theological point of view can survive reality unscathed, but I believe my view is the most plausible and the most biblical. This is my theodicy, the philosophical and theological attempt to reconcile the existence of evil and suffering with the belief in an all-good, all-powerful God.

Thank you for reading my Substack, and remember Proverbs 25:2

Here are three of the songs from my YouTube channel I alluded to earlier. It simply asks questions:

The longing to return and stay. Think prodigal son.

The satisfaction deep in the soul when the Truth is finally embraced.

Long ago, when I was first introduced to the tenets of Calvinism, I immediately recognized that it was not of Yahweh. It was repulsive to my spirit. Even when they pointed to the “proof text,” I thought something was wrong here. It mischaracterized my Lord. I thought it was so absurd that surely my fellow Christians could see the issues. The proof text did not align with the entirety of Scripture. I thought the translation of these few verses was either being misread or was unclear without the context of the rest of the Bible. When compared to the vast majority of other verses, Calvinism’s central teachings were way off. I was shocked to discover that many believed in Calvinism. And some didn’t even know they believed. They thought it was Biblical Christianity. I was stunned. I accepted Jesus when I was 12 years old, not Calvinism.

But later in life, I discovered that the entailments of Calvinism had crept into my beliefs, shocking me. I believed in some of the false doctrines of Calvinism without realizing it. Penal Substitutionary Atonement (PSA) was one of them. I thought it was Biblical. I was looking through the goggles handed to me by sincere teachers I trusted. I accepted it as a mystery because I could not understand why God would punish His innocent Son for my sins. “Oh well,” I thought, “It’s one of those things I can’t understand. God’s thoughts are not my thoughts.”

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Over the years, I grew more suspicious of PSA. Finally, I turned my full attention to exploring this unusual doctrine. I had been reading books and listening to numerous podcasts debunking Calvinism—even writing about it on my Substack. Will Hess’s The Church Split was one of them. I had also been searching for books on the topic of PSA. But all I saw, at the time, were pro-PSA books. I had already concluded for myself that PSA was wrong. The pastor of the church I was attending at the time was clearly teaching PSA, and it was unbearable to listen. Great apologists for the Faith believed in it, i.e., William Lane Craig. In my daily life and on Facebook, I couldn’t find any friendly place to discuss my “heretical” beliefs about PSA. I agreed with Will’s take on PSA, but I wanted a detailed dismantling of it to ponder in the quiet hours of the morning. Then I heard he was going to write a book about it. I bought it soon after it was published. However, I was committed at the time to read the Bible in historical order. That was taking up all my reading time. So, Crushing the Great Serpent was on hold. When I finally got to it…

This book hit the spot. Having just completed reading the entire Bible, with all its themes weaving seamlessly when read in historical order —i.e., blending the prophets and Psalms with Chronicles and Kings, etc. —I was ready.

Maybe some of you can relate. That’s how I got to Will’s book. I won’t spoil it for you by doing a breakdown of every chapter. Rest assured, he could have written a book twice as long. But he covers all the major themes of PSA and thoroughly debunks them. And, he offers many of the pre-PSA doctrines that existed long before PSA’s corruption. I would not have been as charitable as he was. At times, I was infuriated by the results of the PSA’s influence on the Church and the corruption of theology. I wrote in the margins and highlighted many passages in the book so I could return to it later.

On a technical note, I was glad to see the footnotes at the bottom of the pages. I don’t like flipping back and forth when footnotes are at the end of the book. Yuck!

As I mentioned, I was already there, but I needed more in-depth information to reinforce my thoughts in conversations or when writing essays on my Substack (which I hope to return to soon). However, this book is ideal for those who need to explore the subject for the first time. I can’t recommend it enough.

Lastly, being an independently published author myself, I urge you to spread the word on your social media. I cannot stress enough how important and meaningful this is to a new author. Will has spent countless hours researching and, with the cursor on his computer, heroically trying to bring these thoughts to life, making them not only informative but also enjoyable and readable. And then there’s the editing. The painstaking line-by-line reading over and over to infinity and beyond, and still, things are missed. Even my professional editor and proofreader missed things in my book. It’s agonizing! It’s a labor of love.

Please don’t simply send him pics of you reading his book. Although those are lovely sentiments, what Will needs from you is to post about this book on your social media accounts and recommend it to your followers. It’s an essential book for the body of believers. Trust me, someone is out there questioning their faith because of PSA. Please help them.

Check out Will’s content here:

The Church Split

Thank you for reading my Substack. Remember, it is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter. Proverbs 25:2

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I’m a writer—a storyteller, to be precise. No matter what venue, if I have the tools, that’s what I wanna do. I’ve been a lyricist, waiting for a band to show up since I was about 13. The band came to me in the form of AI. I write the lyrics and select the mood, emotion, and genre.

My style of writing lyrics varies. I don’t know if a modern band has the lyrical style of Pink Floyd, U2, Queen, Triumph, King’s X, or Led Zeppelin nowadays, but that’s my usual style.

As a young man, I imagined the meaning of the words to fit my life. So, the words needed to be less than on the nose so I could make them fit my situation. That influenced the style of my lyrics. Though I have a meaning in mind when I write, I want the listener’s subtext to go through their head, too, as they imagine the meaning of the lyrics. That’s the style of these first two songs. The lyrics are in the description box on my YouTube channel.

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My epic fantasy fiction Blood & Soul was published ten years ago this month. Surprisingly, it hit #1 on Amazon …twice within weeks.

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Before writing my bestselling book, Blood & Soul, I swore I would never self-publish. Typically, self-published books are awful. I know. I’ve tried to read them. I didn’t want to be associated with massive amounts of nonsense. Then Kindle/Amazon exploded. Then I realized I would have no shelf space even if accepted by a major publisher. No bookstore will move Tolkien, Martin, Jordan, or Sanderson's books off their shelf and put up mine. To the traditional publishing world, I was a risk.

I changed my mind and decided to self-publish. Why? Because I believed I had put forth enough sincere effort in studying the craft of storytelling. I did not compare myself with self-published authors; I compared myself with George R. R. Martin, Terry Goodkind, and David Gemmell. I did not think I would short-change anyone if they bought my independently published book rather than a big-time publisher of a new author.

I had written 3/4 of an epic fantasy that was not Blood & Soul. I pulled back and redoubled my study of how stories are structured and what makes readers want to read them. I read piles of books on how to write great books, and I read great books. I devised a new book from a back story in my already-written epic. I did this because I figured out I would need to write many books as a self-published author to gain notoriety or credentials.

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I read piles of books on marketing. I started a website (not a blog) and an email list, too, but I started too late. When I finished writing Blood & Soul, which was to become a best-seller, I hired a professional editor and a proofreader.

Meanwhile, I produced a book trailer with original epic music by award-winning composer Patrick Rundblad.

It is a remarkable piece of art, with graphics, teaser wording, a mysterious intro, an epic crescendo, etc. I also had a professional book cover designed by Mark Skinner of Skinned Knees.

Thank you for reading Allen’s Substack. This post is public so feel free to share it.

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July 11, 2014, was the official launch day. My book climbed the charts on Amazon alongside George R. R. Martin, Terry Goodkind, and Star Wars books. I saved the screenshots.

Everything paid off to a degree. I received many 5-star ratings and reviews on Amazon, and I sold about 3500 copies, including hard copies, in the first few days. Most independently published authors sell less than 100 copies. I totally crushed that.

I went exclusively with Kindle Direct Publishing (and CreateSpace), which means my book ended up in print at Barnes & Noble.

Blood & Soul was on the bestseller list for almost six months! That blew me away. It stayed in the range of about #18 – #58 most of the time. Once or twice, it was #1. For a year, it stayed way up in the TOTAL ranking (#119,155 on the anniversary of the publishing date in the Paid Kindle Store). At that time, it was selling 2 to 4 books a day. I’ve not promoted it in nine years.

I did not get rich or gain much notoriety, but I made a dent in the universe. I consider that maiden voyage an investment, as well as the cost of doing business. I have a lot to write and a lot to learn. To this day, I have many follow-up books in rough drafts and outlines.

Back then, I was in a season of life when I could dedicate the hours needed to write a quality story. Shortly after finishing the final draft, I got a job that provided me with more expendable income but far less time to devote to writing epic novels.

My biggest problem after reaching such heights as #1 on Amazon is figuring out how to write and produce quality books promptly and consistently with less time available, make a name for myself while holding down a full-time job to support myself and endure everything life seems to throw at you when you're trying to create. I have not been able to break that dragon’s back.

Writing and publishing Blood & Soul was one of the most rewarding endeavors of my life. I hoped to entertain and inspire others with the story of my heroic central character and those around him as they fought the darkness within themselves and in their world.

As one reviewer put it:

—S. R. Piccoli

See Piccoli’s books here and articles here.

Blood & Soul isn’t the most incredible book ever written, but I left it all on the battlefield when I wrote it. I broke the back of the dragon of resistance. If you’ve got a book in you, a song, a poem, or something righteous to say, I encourage you to do it. The world needs it.

While writing my book, I made up this saying and still quote it to myself.

"If writing a good book is like catching a fly with chopsticks, writing a great book is like catching a gnat with pool cues." – Allen G. Bagby

Thank you for reading to my Substack and remember Proverbs 25:2

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Everything that exists deserves to perish. Everything that exists deserves to perish. — Karl Marx.

I'm to the point of seeing the right/left paradigm differently now. The way I see it, there are the Marxists—in all their manifestations—and the rest of us. That's the paradigm. And both camps have gradations of awareness up and down the spectrum.

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I've read a lot about Karl's demonic ideology and pondered why Marxism has come and gone and come back. It simply cloaks itself for the contemporary times. It's never had a good record. It's like addiction to alcohol or nicotine. Somehow, one gets brainwashed into thinking it helps with stress.

One nation after another has destroyed its health as the people slowly or quickly embraced this spell-casting serpent known as Marxism. I could never understand how my fellow Americans could accept one iota of Marxism. We lived in a paradise compared to other countries, yet here we are after the Trump speed bump.

The last "election" showed our votes were worthless, and despite decades of warnings, we find ourselves on a runaway train to destruction. I realize we've not been in charge of our destiny since perhaps the early 20th century.

Because, like Adam and Eve living in Paradise, we bit into the forbidden fruit of Marx's, at best juvenile, spell. He was and is the Shining One in the Garden, and his ideology is and was inspired by Satan. There is no doubt about that. If you read The Devil and Karl Marx, you will understand that last sentence better than most. Marxism is a Satanic ideology. And therefore, it is alluring to the unguarded, and we were seduced into dropping our guard a long time ago by sweet-sounding whispers.

Dr. Kengor elaborates: “Friends said Marx would chant this. He would recite this–'Everything that exists deserves to perish. Everything that exists deserves to perish.’ This is a philosophy that's about tearing down, burning the foundation, leveling the house, to where you have Marx standing there in the smoldering embers, saying, ‘Now we are ready to begin.’ So anybody that thinks that this is a philosophy that is just about helping one another or sharing the wealth or redistributing wealth, they do not understand Marx and Marxism.”

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If you're a Christian, then exposing Satan by de-cloaking his garment of Marxism is a righteous undertaking. If you're a Christian and you embrace Marxism, you are deceived.

You may not recognize its foul influence in our nation because it comes hidden in our culture's platitudes and stolen language. It's not Chinese or Soviet Russian Marxism. It comes in the red, white, and blue of the Flag.

It's American Marxism. Corporations, academia, Hollywood (entertainment), and Big Tech are its Vassal States.

The Evangelical wing of American Marxism is the mainstream media.

Thank you for reading or listening to my Substack. And remember. Proverbs 25:2.

The background music is “Hadrian’s Demon” provided by Two Steps From Hell.

When I started writing the series “Rescuing the Bible From Calvinism” a few weeks ago, I lost two subscribers. I was enthusiastic about continuing, but I was also disappointed that my overall page views were decreasing. When you’re a “nobody” on Substack, losing subscribers and views, it’s an “ouch.” I didn’t stop writing about Calvinism because I lost subscribers. These concerns coincided with a feeling of being overwhelmed with the knowledge I was gaining about Calvinism.

Before I continue…

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Let me clarify that my goal is to rescue the Bible from Calvinism. That’s the stated goal, but it’s deeper than that. In this world, there is overflowing disdain for Yahweh, the one unique and everlasting Elohim. I think Calvinism not only encumbers me and my Christian brethren in our understanding of God, but it’s also a barrier to the lost and dying world. My underlying goal is to help clear that up and help us all improve our relationship with God and compel the lost to seek his redemptive plan.

Now…

I’m still making surprising discoveries about Calvin’s influence on modern Christianity. Basically, the same ideology — the Augustinian doctrine — influenced Luther. But Calvin, with his Institutes, was Augustinian doctrine on steroids. Luther and Calvin were the fathers of the Reformation, which was embodied by Reformed Theology or the Doctrines of Grace. I was born into a Protestant family, and I am a Protestant by tradition. Protestantism pretty much ignited the Reformation.

So, I have been rethinking my position on my Protestant tradition because if Calvinism is removed, can I keep the Reformation? I think I can at this point. My belief and life in Christ was not inspired or fostered in a decidedly Calvinistic church. I grew up Baptist. My loyal belief stays with Christ alone. And if I have to shed labels, I’m fine with that. Alluding to Dr. Michael Heiser, I want to see the naked Bible. I don’t want it dressed up in any tradition or theology. That does not mean I automatically reject traditions and theology. When traditions and theology help me understand the naked truth of God’s Word, I’ll keep it. But why hold on to them if they cloud the truth?

Calvinism is not Christianity. You can be a Christian without being a Calvinist or a Christian without being a Roman Catholic. But is Protestantism Christianity? Can you be a Christian and not be a Protestant? Of course. That said, Protestantism and Catholicism could be considered very Calvinistic or Augustinian. So, should I cut out the deterministic parts of my traditional faith? I’d look like a puzzle with many pieces missing to my brethren. And, because they’ve not traveled my road, they wouldn’t understand even with much explaining, and I’m still learning a lot.

I want to fight it out now! It breaks my heart to see God mischaracterized and misrepresented. I don’t yet feel intellectually ready. I still sense there is ground in my own heart, my own theology, that needs recultivating due to Calvin’s influence. I’ve seen it already, but that’s not the point of this post.

Calvin’s Fortress is massive. Its mass is imposing. But I’ve seen the weaknesses. It’s not so intimidating when you see the Wizard behind the curtain. Knowledge is power. Although John MacArthur and James White could handle me in a live debate with their rhetoric, I’m sure I, by the sword of my pen, could, in time, give a sound rebuttal to their Calvinism. I know that’s crazy sounding. But then I recall Ted Nugent giving sound advice about the dangers of liberalism years ago. He was point-by-point dismantling it. I was impressed. He paused and said, “Hey! I’m just a guitar player, and I can figure this out.” So, maybe my confidence is not so crazy.

The point is it’s not that hard to see the dangers and weaknesses of Calvinism for a regular guy like me—or you—especially during these times when we have access to so much knowledge, and I’m driven to dismantle Calvinism’s misrepresentation of the character of Almighty God. We have vast libraries at our fingertips. There’s no excuse to be ignorant on the matter.

It seems that the more I study, the more the revelations continue—the ah-ha moments happen consistently. I’m piling up plenty of explosives to blow Calvinism sky-high. Because there is so much information out there from reliable sources, one will discover Calvinism's weaknesses are legion. It’s extremely challenging to synthesize it all into a series of coherent posts. That’s why I’ve dropped off on postings about it. I’m overwhelmed on many levels, one being how, in God’s name, so many Christians have bought into it.

Another reason it’s been challenging is that Calvinism seems irreducibly complex. As I tugged on one thread, the whole thing unraveled. I’m trying to preserve sections of the structure as I dismantle it so you can see it before I take it down, but my mind leaps to the easy conclusion that Calvinism is weak and false throughout. When I take one letter out of the TULIP, I find it attached to all the other letters.

The crucial foundation of the TULIP is the Calvinistic definitions and beliefs about Sovereignty, Predestination, Original Sin, Foreknowledge, and Election. Crucial to those definitions and beliefs is their faith in exhaustive divine determinism (or EDD), which supports all those and other points and the TULIP.

(Some quotes for you…)

I could provide more quotes from Calvin and Calvinists than those above. Boiling this down to its bare meaning means God is the deceiver and the cause of sin.

From what I can tell, EDD is the core doctrine of Calvinism and is not biblical. Augustine smuggled it in from the Gnostics. EDD is the lens one must use to make Calvinism work. Many Protestant denominations, like the Presbyterians and even some Baptists, believe it. Many seminaries are full of Calvinistic professors. So, it rolls downhill into the congregations who trust their preachers and teachers to tell them the truth.

I’ve talked to a few people about Calvinism’s fundamental issues. One said, “I think I’m still a bit Calvinistic.” One offered that he was not neatly Calvinist. After seeing the titles of the books I was reading, one guy at a diner told me he didn’t believe in Calvinism but was a 3-Point Calvinist. I’ve read and listened to these types of thoughts from Catholics and Protestants online, in books, and interviews, basically saying the same things, and it astonishes me.

Mixing the bible with Calvinism is like having a mixed economy of the free enterprise system and Marxism. Marxism spoils the system. Reformed theology or the Doctrines of Grace spoils your understanding of God and the Bible. If you’re a Calvinist, you have to constantly try to back-engineer it into convenient verses and try to explain away free choice and God’s love for all in the obvious verses. Rest, my friends.

When the consequence [of Calvinism] is drawn that, since we are totally depraved, our idea of good is worth simply nothing – may thus turn Christianity into a form of devil-worship.” –CS Lewis, The Problem of Pain, pg. 29

Why are you holding on to something you don’t need, which only muddies your view of Scripture? Drop it. If you still like the word Calvinist, then call yourself a Zero-Point Calvinist. Join me and be done with it.

Thank you for reading my Substack. Remember, “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter but the glory of kings to search it out.” Proverbs 25:2.

This song is dedicated to those suffering and believing God decreed their suffering for His glory. I hope this breaks through and people realize God is better than this. God doesn't get His kicks by causing us to suffer for His glory. Rather, the God of the Bible took on the totality of human nature, becoming one of us and DETERMINED TO SUFFER for us to achieve victory over sin, suffering, and death itself—bringing us hope. THIS is what separates the Living God from dead idols.

LYRICS: When life falls apart, when everything claimed fails, It hits so hard, being decreed by God! Who can you look to, where can you go? There is no safety, only woe! Can't run away, run away Can't run away, from your destiny! Crushed by the mountain, dreading the blows, It’s easy to lose yourself, devil knows: “God can’t hear you shouting, He’s deaf to your plea. Just take comfort He’s in control. Every single sin, every single blow, God gets all the glory from every single woe!” Life’s so dark, everything’s a struggle, Buried under grief, determined to suffer! Pray to an Arsonist, Abused by a Savior, Hero and villain, this is determinism Can't run away, run away Can't run away, from your destiny! Crushed by the mountain, dreading the blows, It’s easy to lose yourself, devil knows: “God can’t hear you shouting, He’s deaf to your plea. Just take comfort He’s in control. Every single sin, every single blow, God gets all the glory from every single woe!” Did you ever stop to think for a moment, Maybe just maybe, He's not the problem? That sin and evil are contrary, Yet He attained the victory! Crushed by the mountain, dreading the blows, It’s easy to lose yourself, God knows! He hears you shouting, He hears your pleas. Take comfort in His victory! Can't run away, run away Can't run away, from His love! (Run home!) Did you ever stop to think for a moment, Maybe just maybe, He's not the problem? That sin and evil are contrary, Yet He attained the victory! Take comfort in His victory! Every single sin, every single blow, He redeems each and every single woe! #christian #music #christianmusic ©️ Copyright 2024 Warren McGrew All Rights Reserved

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I’ve doubted God’s existence and came pretty close to not believing. At one point in life, I was agnostic and practically an atheist in action, having no fear or awe of God. Due to early profound spiritual experiences in my late teens and early twenties, I never became an atheist at heart. We all have our reasons. I won’t go into it, but I left mainstream Christianity in the early 90s – I believe it was a profound error that, at the time, seemed like Luther’s departure from Catholicism, the spiritual highway had been removed of toll booths, I thought.

Early in the departure, my longing for the spiritual led me to seek a relationship with the divine via new age (or new era) beliefs, in which one can construct one’s own belief system – all dogs go to heaven. It seemed so very enlightened. I think, in a nutshell, it was because I wanted to sin like the devil without remorse in certain areas. The belief in an impersonal god, or a nebulous divine consciousness, affords such activity – but I digress. I began a slow return, which started with quasi-Christian theology mixed with new-age beliefs some time ago, prompted by what is called “the midlife crisis,” i.e., the realization that I was indeed going to die. In early 2001, I began periodically attending the Unity Church of Dallas. They read from the Bible but, to put it bluntly, don’t believe it. They suffuse Eastern religions into the Bible and consider it another spiritual book like the Bhagavad Gita or A Course In Miracles (I’ve read both): all ways eventually lead to heaven or nirvana. An “enlightened” man there told me he was a recovering Baptist, too.

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After 9-11-2001, I had had enough of the Hippy Jesus. But, instead of returning to Christianity, I delved into politics and dabbled in history, which led to philosophy, which led to God. Philosophy’s biggest problem is Death, which is the core of midlife crises, but I think it can lead one to a more profound search than sitting cross-legged in a Buddhist monastery. I “officially” returned to Christianity when I started attending Frisco Bible Church regularly in July of ’06 (please don’t bother me with “just cuz ya goze to church don’t means you’s a good person” and other finger-wagging…it bores me and it’s not the point of this entry). Even before that, I had been leaning in that direction.

Along the way, I re-realized how many of us don’t even have a logical explanation for our beliefs. This is not new to me, but I was leaning away the last time I asked these questions. It’s the reason we crumble when challenged. We don’t even understand what we believe and why we believe, and 95% of the time, we can’t defend it. Thus, feeling embarrassed, we attempt to be cool.

So here I am. I like to think of myself as a “Big Bang,” but really, I am a little flash in a pan (as if you needed to know). However, this is my little “decision tree.” Each sentence is the tip of an iceberg. There was/is much anxiety and searching that lies under the surface and turn of the words. So, no decision point was made superficially.

Does God exist? Either there is or there is not a god. A thing cannot be and not be at the same time. I chose to believe God exists. So, now I am a theist, not an atheist.

Does this God care about me? Of the major religions on earth, there are many derivatives. There are religions with impersonal and/or indifferent gods, or there is a so-called divine consciousness or a state of bliss/enlightenment. And there are religions with a god that desires a relationship with me.

Hinduism is a polytheistic religion; the gods are basically indifferent to my existence. They could be aware of me, but I matter very little to them, if at all. Buddhism is a non-theistic religion; basically, one relinquishes all cravings and blends (becomes one) with the universal consciousness. This “god” is impersonal. I cannot know this god at all and assimilate into nothingness once I reach enlightenment.

The religions with a personal god, or a god that desires a relationship with me, are basically Judaism, Islam, and Christianity. Because I believe God to be a personal God, I chose from the following: Of these three religions, one’s founder claimed to be God in the flesh. The founder, Jesus Christ, cannot be and not be God at the same time. He either is or He is not. If He is not God, then He either belongs in a mental institute or He is a grand hoaxer. You have to conclude Jesus was a madman, a liar or is what He says He is. I chose to believe Jesus Christ is God incarnate.

Now, this little tracing of the thought process never proves there is a God. That’s another Substack entry.

Thank you for reading my Substack. Remember, “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter and the glory of King’s to search it out.” Proverbs 25;%

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As a medical coder, this woman transfers the information included in patient medical records into a database for insurance. Her job is critical in order for physicians to get paid. In this shocking interview, she unmasks the truth behind COVID protocols and their relationship to the incentives behind PCR testing and medicines. She explains why hospitals might treat for a virus before doing any testing to find out whether the patient is actually positive and discusses the time when healthcare staff were warned of a fatal flaw in their ventilator settings. Catch interviews with medical whistleblowers, like this one, on CHD.TV.

She confirmed everything I was censored and canceled for in 2020 and 2021. I was ridiculed and scoffed at for exactly what she said above. I lost about 100 Facebook “friends.” I lost my contacts for my book buyers, Vimeo destroyed my account, and I lost all the videos I had purchased. I was kicked out of a bookstore and prohibited from visiting several stores. And I had the cops called on me for not wearing a mask.

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