Dwayne Fry's Blog
June 9, 2016
Are You A Frustrated Writer? Perhaps You're Trying Too Hard
I find myself distressed right now. Nothing is seriously wrong in my own life, but it's this overwhelming empathy I feel toward some other writers. I've been seeing a lot of writers here and there today stating that they're frustrated, angry, throwing things, crying... all due to being a writer.
Why?
I really don't know. I will never claim to be the greatest writer, but at times like this I feel as if I may be the happiest writer.
Writing simply makes me happy.
Back in my twenties and thirties I read many books on how to be a writer. I stopped for a while and tried again a few years ago. What have I really learned from these books? That the "rules" they all set forth should be treated as guidelines, at best. Back in my twenties I tried following the advice and, like the writers I mentioned earlier, I often found myself miserable.
Here's a simple truth - you cannot make a good product if you are not in a good place.
The books all said to be in a quiet place with no distractions. They said to set goals and stick to them. They said to write for a target audience. Now, some of this may work for some writers, but advice like this and many other examples I could give simply do not work for me.
When I write, I nearly always have music blasting in my ears. I surf the 'net. I watch people. I play with my dogs. All these things keep me happy and keep my brain engaged. Back in the day when I would sit in a dark, quiet room, I wrote a lot more words per hour - and abandoned a lot more projects, deleted a lot more pages, started over a lot more times. So, if you feel frustrated with writing, do what you need to do to get your brain working at its best, even if it means going against sage advice you've heard. Keep your brain stimulated and the words will flow keener.
As for goals? I still set them, but I sure don't lose any sleep over it if I fail to meet them. I have at least six stories that were meant to be published by now, but I just didn't feel they were ready, so they're relaxing a while. I'll tackle them again later. So, really, the only serious deadlines I have are set by the stories themselves. They get finished when they're ready to be finished.
My target audience is... me. Back when I was sitting in those dark rooms, writing by candle light, I was aiming to write to fans of John Irving. All I really accomplished was to learn that I am not John Irving. My stories would start out like something he would write, but by the third chapter they were going in directions he would never go, or at least hadn't gone at the time. Maybe he has by now. I haven't read him in a while. So, I have learned to be true to the story in my head, not some imaginary audience, not to the style of some other author. My target audience is me. These days I write the kind of books that I want to read, not what I think others might like.
So, if you're a depressed and frustrated writer like I used to be, take a hard look at your habits, ask yourself if there's anything you could change to make writing an enjoyable occupation rather than a miserable task. Relax. Give yourself a break. Don't beat yourself up if you can't make a deadline (especially a self-inflicted one). Don't take the advice of others as the gospel truth, but as helpful hints.
Why?
I really don't know. I will never claim to be the greatest writer, but at times like this I feel as if I may be the happiest writer.
Writing simply makes me happy.
Back in my twenties and thirties I read many books on how to be a writer. I stopped for a while and tried again a few years ago. What have I really learned from these books? That the "rules" they all set forth should be treated as guidelines, at best. Back in my twenties I tried following the advice and, like the writers I mentioned earlier, I often found myself miserable.
Here's a simple truth - you cannot make a good product if you are not in a good place.
The books all said to be in a quiet place with no distractions. They said to set goals and stick to them. They said to write for a target audience. Now, some of this may work for some writers, but advice like this and many other examples I could give simply do not work for me.
When I write, I nearly always have music blasting in my ears. I surf the 'net. I watch people. I play with my dogs. All these things keep me happy and keep my brain engaged. Back in the day when I would sit in a dark, quiet room, I wrote a lot more words per hour - and abandoned a lot more projects, deleted a lot more pages, started over a lot more times. So, if you feel frustrated with writing, do what you need to do to get your brain working at its best, even if it means going against sage advice you've heard. Keep your brain stimulated and the words will flow keener.
As for goals? I still set them, but I sure don't lose any sleep over it if I fail to meet them. I have at least six stories that were meant to be published by now, but I just didn't feel they were ready, so they're relaxing a while. I'll tackle them again later. So, really, the only serious deadlines I have are set by the stories themselves. They get finished when they're ready to be finished.
My target audience is... me. Back when I was sitting in those dark rooms, writing by candle light, I was aiming to write to fans of John Irving. All I really accomplished was to learn that I am not John Irving. My stories would start out like something he would write, but by the third chapter they were going in directions he would never go, or at least hadn't gone at the time. Maybe he has by now. I haven't read him in a while. So, I have learned to be true to the story in my head, not some imaginary audience, not to the style of some other author. My target audience is me. These days I write the kind of books that I want to read, not what I think others might like.
So, if you're a depressed and frustrated writer like I used to be, take a hard look at your habits, ask yourself if there's anything you could change to make writing an enjoyable occupation rather than a miserable task. Relax. Give yourself a break. Don't beat yourself up if you can't make a deadline (especially a self-inflicted one). Don't take the advice of others as the gospel truth, but as helpful hints.
May 26, 2016
It's Good To Be King
Earlier this month, Christina McMullen, a fantastic author in her own right, interviewed me for her blog. You can see the interview here:
Hangin’ Out! Author Interview with Dwayne Fry
In it, Christina said, "you may as well accept the title of Indie Author Short Story King." It's a title that has been hard to accept. To me, I'm just a guy who likes to write stories with the hopes that someone might get some enjoyment from them. King... I am not sure I'm worthy of being the guy who wipes the dragon dung off the drawbridge, but all right.
In the article, Christina and I discuss several of my short stories. For today and today only (Friday, May 27th, 2016) I am making three of them free.
First is Austism. In the article, I mentioned this as the one story people should read if they were only going to read one story of mine. I tend to think this is my best attempt at blending humor with a real world issue. It's a tale of acceptance, tolerance and brotherly love, not to mention Austin Worth may be my favorite character I've ever created.
Next is George Stew. Christina asked which of my stories is the most underrated. This one has not gotten a lot of attention, yet, but it is my second favorite of all my stories. It's the tale of two homeless people who are trying desperately to survive, yet the prejudices in Noah City are working against them.
Last is a horror story called Pretty Eyes. The main character fascinates me and frightens me at the same time. If you have ever wanted to get into the mind of a creepy predator, this is your chance.
On a final note, I want to send out a HUGE thank you to those who have helped make Short Story Month so memorable for me this year. I released one story, The Six People You Meet In Creative Writing Workshop about two weeks ago and it has already become one of my all-time best sellers. I honestly did not expect it to get any attention, I just wrote it for the hell of it. So, thanks to all who purchased it and / or reviewed it. THANK YOU!
It's fun to think of being a king, but my readers are the true kings and queens of my world.
Hangin’ Out! Author Interview with Dwayne Fry
In it, Christina said, "you may as well accept the title of Indie Author Short Story King." It's a title that has been hard to accept. To me, I'm just a guy who likes to write stories with the hopes that someone might get some enjoyment from them. King... I am not sure I'm worthy of being the guy who wipes the dragon dung off the drawbridge, but all right.
In the article, Christina and I discuss several of my short stories. For today and today only (Friday, May 27th, 2016) I am making three of them free.
First is Austism. In the article, I mentioned this as the one story people should read if they were only going to read one story of mine. I tend to think this is my best attempt at blending humor with a real world issue. It's a tale of acceptance, tolerance and brotherly love, not to mention Austin Worth may be my favorite character I've ever created.
Next is George Stew. Christina asked which of my stories is the most underrated. This one has not gotten a lot of attention, yet, but it is my second favorite of all my stories. It's the tale of two homeless people who are trying desperately to survive, yet the prejudices in Noah City are working against them.
Last is a horror story called Pretty Eyes. The main character fascinates me and frightens me at the same time. If you have ever wanted to get into the mind of a creepy predator, this is your chance.
On a final note, I want to send out a HUGE thank you to those who have helped make Short Story Month so memorable for me this year. I released one story, The Six People You Meet In Creative Writing Workshop about two weeks ago and it has already become one of my all-time best sellers. I honestly did not expect it to get any attention, I just wrote it for the hell of it. So, thanks to all who purchased it and / or reviewed it. THANK YOU!
It's fun to think of being a king, but my readers are the true kings and queens of my world.
March 5, 2016
The Real "George Stew"
Not long ago, I did a post wherein I talked about what bits of the Noah City stories are based on real people or events. Today I released the fifth in the series* called George Stew.
goo.gl/ueJBrq
When I lived in the town that Noah City is loosely based on, there were two brothers, both of whom were Intellectually Disabled. One's name was George. I've forgotten the other. They lived in a small, run down home and most every day they could be seen walking around town pulling a little red wagon and looking for odd jobs. I remember at one time they delivered newspapers.
One day I encountered the brothers coming toward me pulling their wagon. They stopped me. Their wagon was full of slips of paper. They handed one to me and I read it over. It was a recipe for stew, but included instructions such as, "take some meat, beef, turkey, chicken, whatever you have". At the top of the recipe was written "GEORGE STEW". It seems as if they were selling the recipe, but I'm not certain. I do know I kept a copy of it for a long, long time as they were such nice guys and I wanted a way to remember them.
The story I wrote does concern two people, one named George, who pull a red wagon with them wherever they go. At one point in the story they are selling copies of George's recipe for stew. (And at the end of the story I include a recipe much like the one I got from the real George back in the mid-eighties). This is where the similarities end. The rest of the story is pure fiction.
As with all the Noah City stories, the tale deals with prejudice and tolerance, love and hatred. In this case, the main characters are lovers and their relationship disturbs most everyone in town. Also, as with all the Noah City stories, it includes an ending designed to punch you in the tear ducts.
*All of the stories in this series work as stand alone stories. There are minor connections between them all, but it is not necessary to read one in order to understand another.
goo.gl/ueJBrq
When I lived in the town that Noah City is loosely based on, there were two brothers, both of whom were Intellectually Disabled. One's name was George. I've forgotten the other. They lived in a small, run down home and most every day they could be seen walking around town pulling a little red wagon and looking for odd jobs. I remember at one time they delivered newspapers.
One day I encountered the brothers coming toward me pulling their wagon. They stopped me. Their wagon was full of slips of paper. They handed one to me and I read it over. It was a recipe for stew, but included instructions such as, "take some meat, beef, turkey, chicken, whatever you have". At the top of the recipe was written "GEORGE STEW". It seems as if they were selling the recipe, but I'm not certain. I do know I kept a copy of it for a long, long time as they were such nice guys and I wanted a way to remember them.
The story I wrote does concern two people, one named George, who pull a red wagon with them wherever they go. At one point in the story they are selling copies of George's recipe for stew. (And at the end of the story I include a recipe much like the one I got from the real George back in the mid-eighties). This is where the similarities end. The rest of the story is pure fiction.
As with all the Noah City stories, the tale deals with prejudice and tolerance, love and hatred. In this case, the main characters are lovers and their relationship disturbs most everyone in town. Also, as with all the Noah City stories, it includes an ending designed to punch you in the tear ducts.
*All of the stories in this series work as stand alone stories. There are minor connections between them all, but it is not necessary to read one in order to understand another.
February 19, 2016
How much is true?
I'm all alone in a motel room right now. Julie will be joining me when she's off work in an hour or so. I thought maybe I'd pass the time by writing a blog post. The topic? How much of my serious works are based on true events.
This month I've been trying to put some focus on marketing the Noah City Stories. I've let it be known that Noah City is based on a town in which I once lived. How much of the stories are true? Well, let's go visit Noah City.
Old Pops' Last Beer The first one I wrote and, incidentally, I'm giving away free this weekend. Go get it. Anyway. Old Pops is not based on anyone at all, but a few of the other patrons drinking their lives away in Scoots are, such as Spud, the old man who slips mickeys into people's drinks and Tiny, the giant man who gets drunk and punches people out in the alley. The narrator is loosely based on several bartenders I knew in those days. I drank a lot back then. In fact, I'm in the story, but I won't say which patron is me. Anyway, Scoots is completely based on my favorite bar in those days. When I close my eyes I can still, all these years later, smell the place and hear the bug zapper hanging over the bar.
Austism None of the Worth family are based on anyone. In fact, no one in this story is based on anyone I know. However, I do work with adults with disabilities and the relationship Dallas and Austin have is strongly based on several of the relationships I've had with my clients. I think the only thing in Austism that came from my life was the moment Dallas was served cinnamon sticks and Spam (although I call it Speef in the story). I had a girl actually serve that to me on a date once.
Bonny Truman Bonny himself (yes, Bonny is a man, that surprised my wife) is slightly based on several men in my first wife's family and a few of the lines he has come directly from things they used to say, my favorite being, "Gordy can't eat at no place that ain't got no salad bar." Wesley is based on myself at age 22, arrogant, pretentious and lazy. The only thing missing is he doesn't drink. The cabin the family is staying in is exactly like the cabin Julie and I sometimes rent a couple of days a summer. In fact, the original story was written in two days while we were camping and it poured rain most of the weekend.
Lazarus Wept This one is not released yet, but it should be out within the week. The hospital in the story was heavily inspired by the one in the town that Noah City is based on, outdated, run down, a little scary. There is a brief moment in the story in which two nurses are looking for an elderly man they misplaced. This actually happened to my first wife's grandpa in that hospital. They found him again, thank goodness. Also, I started working on this one some time ago and right around that time I did stand by the bedside of a friend who was on life support. I drew heavily on that experience for this story. Lazarus Cain, the elderly pastor in the story, is not really based on anyone, but Cain and I share a similar approach to Christianity: Great faith in God with a great dash of cynicism toward many of His followers.
This month I've been trying to put some focus on marketing the Noah City Stories. I've let it be known that Noah City is based on a town in which I once lived. How much of the stories are true? Well, let's go visit Noah City.
Old Pops' Last Beer The first one I wrote and, incidentally, I'm giving away free this weekend. Go get it. Anyway. Old Pops is not based on anyone at all, but a few of the other patrons drinking their lives away in Scoots are, such as Spud, the old man who slips mickeys into people's drinks and Tiny, the giant man who gets drunk and punches people out in the alley. The narrator is loosely based on several bartenders I knew in those days. I drank a lot back then. In fact, I'm in the story, but I won't say which patron is me. Anyway, Scoots is completely based on my favorite bar in those days. When I close my eyes I can still, all these years later, smell the place and hear the bug zapper hanging over the bar.
Austism None of the Worth family are based on anyone. In fact, no one in this story is based on anyone I know. However, I do work with adults with disabilities and the relationship Dallas and Austin have is strongly based on several of the relationships I've had with my clients. I think the only thing in Austism that came from my life was the moment Dallas was served cinnamon sticks and Spam (although I call it Speef in the story). I had a girl actually serve that to me on a date once.
Bonny Truman Bonny himself (yes, Bonny is a man, that surprised my wife) is slightly based on several men in my first wife's family and a few of the lines he has come directly from things they used to say, my favorite being, "Gordy can't eat at no place that ain't got no salad bar." Wesley is based on myself at age 22, arrogant, pretentious and lazy. The only thing missing is he doesn't drink. The cabin the family is staying in is exactly like the cabin Julie and I sometimes rent a couple of days a summer. In fact, the original story was written in two days while we were camping and it poured rain most of the weekend.
Lazarus Wept This one is not released yet, but it should be out within the week. The hospital in the story was heavily inspired by the one in the town that Noah City is based on, outdated, run down, a little scary. There is a brief moment in the story in which two nurses are looking for an elderly man they misplaced. This actually happened to my first wife's grandpa in that hospital. They found him again, thank goodness. Also, I started working on this one some time ago and right around that time I did stand by the bedside of a friend who was on life support. I drew heavily on that experience for this story. Lazarus Cain, the elderly pastor in the story, is not really based on anyone, but Cain and I share a similar approach to Christianity: Great faith in God with a great dash of cynicism toward many of His followers.
January 28, 2016
Evolution of a Character
Authors are often asked, "where did you get the idea for this book?" or "what inspired you to create this character?" Or, at least, I have heard authors get asked such questions. It has yet to happen to me.
So, with only prompting from my own ego I thought it would be fun to give an overly detailed account of how the central character of one of my books came to be.
It all started, really, around 2005 or so when I was on an urban legends message board and people were posting links to videos on some site called "YouTube". It wasn't long before I had abandoned that urban legend site and was spending most of my free time watching YouTube. People were uploading clips from shows I watched as a child and had not seen since. It wasn't long before I began to discover other videos that were even more intriguing. People were sitting in their dens, in their bedrooms, on their porches, wherever they could and talking to the camera. Everyday folks were just talking to cameras and posting it on this site. Even more amazing, people were watching this stuff.
Skip a couple of years to around 2007. I started doing this very thing, too. I would talk to the camera and post the videos to YouTube and -- wow. People watched. People commented. But, I was never content with just being one of those that would talk to the camera and nothing else. Videos became more of a low budget production for me, a third rate D-movie experience with props and characters, sound effects, animation, music and most anything I could get my hands on.
I started developing characters. The first two were forgettable - an animated news reporter named Chuck Offenboffer* and another character I called "The Confessions Guy".
Being overweight and middle aged and, at that time, a huge fan of the Harry Potter book series, I thought it might be funny to play Harry Potter in his middle years. Somehow, I kept that name but developed a character who was certainly older and heavyset, but other than that bore no resemblance to Harry Potter in the books. I began doing this extremely low budget "talk show" in which an elderly conservative gentleman from Minnesota who would sit in the basement of the local bait and tackle shop and talk about politics, religion, sports, fishing and various other things. People used to compare the character to Red Green, even though I have never seen that show. The character is actually influenced by a number of things, but probably more Hank Hill than anything else.
The point of the show was not really to make fun of conservatives, older people or Minnesotans. The point was to make fun of anyone who is more in love with their own opinion than learning about the world and listening to those around them.
I do regret calling the character Harry Potter. For a little while I had a running gag in which people would write to him, thinking he was the character from the fantasy series -- and he would be deeply confused by the letters as he seemed to be the only person in the world that had never heard of the Harry Potter books.
I don't do YouTube anymore. There are a lot of reasons, but the top two are: I no longer have decent editing software and YouTube took up a lot of my time. A ten minute video might take all day to put together. These days with my work schedules I just don't have the time to devote to it anymore.
But, I have a lot of fond memories of those days and am still in touch with a number of people I "met" through YouTube. I do miss it. Maybe some day I will go back to it.
In the meantime, however, I am working on a project in which I have taken the Harry Potter character and am working on a book featuring him. In one of the later videos he revealed his real name is Horatio, so he primarily goes by Horatio in the book. In it, since leaving YouTube, he has started writing an advice column** called "BE A MAN" in which men write in questions and Horatio advises them on how to be more masculine. It's a satirical look at sexism using a blatantly sexist and ignorant character. I seem to enjoy writing about loathsome characters.
*I would later physically play a disgusting bum of a morning show host called Chuck Offenboffer.
** It turns out Horatio's wife is also an advice columnist and has a book out now, called "The Misadvice of Miss Addy Vice".
So, with only prompting from my own ego I thought it would be fun to give an overly detailed account of how the central character of one of my books came to be.
It all started, really, around 2005 or so when I was on an urban legends message board and people were posting links to videos on some site called "YouTube". It wasn't long before I had abandoned that urban legend site and was spending most of my free time watching YouTube. People were uploading clips from shows I watched as a child and had not seen since. It wasn't long before I began to discover other videos that were even more intriguing. People were sitting in their dens, in their bedrooms, on their porches, wherever they could and talking to the camera. Everyday folks were just talking to cameras and posting it on this site. Even more amazing, people were watching this stuff.
Skip a couple of years to around 2007. I started doing this very thing, too. I would talk to the camera and post the videos to YouTube and -- wow. People watched. People commented. But, I was never content with just being one of those that would talk to the camera and nothing else. Videos became more of a low budget production for me, a third rate D-movie experience with props and characters, sound effects, animation, music and most anything I could get my hands on.
I started developing characters. The first two were forgettable - an animated news reporter named Chuck Offenboffer* and another character I called "The Confessions Guy".
Being overweight and middle aged and, at that time, a huge fan of the Harry Potter book series, I thought it might be funny to play Harry Potter in his middle years. Somehow, I kept that name but developed a character who was certainly older and heavyset, but other than that bore no resemblance to Harry Potter in the books. I began doing this extremely low budget "talk show" in which an elderly conservative gentleman from Minnesota who would sit in the basement of the local bait and tackle shop and talk about politics, religion, sports, fishing and various other things. People used to compare the character to Red Green, even though I have never seen that show. The character is actually influenced by a number of things, but probably more Hank Hill than anything else.
The point of the show was not really to make fun of conservatives, older people or Minnesotans. The point was to make fun of anyone who is more in love with their own opinion than learning about the world and listening to those around them.
I do regret calling the character Harry Potter. For a little while I had a running gag in which people would write to him, thinking he was the character from the fantasy series -- and he would be deeply confused by the letters as he seemed to be the only person in the world that had never heard of the Harry Potter books.
I don't do YouTube anymore. There are a lot of reasons, but the top two are: I no longer have decent editing software and YouTube took up a lot of my time. A ten minute video might take all day to put together. These days with my work schedules I just don't have the time to devote to it anymore.
But, I have a lot of fond memories of those days and am still in touch with a number of people I "met" through YouTube. I do miss it. Maybe some day I will go back to it.
In the meantime, however, I am working on a project in which I have taken the Harry Potter character and am working on a book featuring him. In one of the later videos he revealed his real name is Horatio, so he primarily goes by Horatio in the book. In it, since leaving YouTube, he has started writing an advice column** called "BE A MAN" in which men write in questions and Horatio advises them on how to be more masculine. It's a satirical look at sexism using a blatantly sexist and ignorant character. I seem to enjoy writing about loathsome characters.
*I would later physically play a disgusting bum of a morning show host called Chuck Offenboffer.
** It turns out Horatio's wife is also an advice columnist and has a book out now, called "The Misadvice of Miss Addy Vice".
January 11, 2016
Hallo Spaceboy - A Letter to David Bowie
Dear Mr. Bowie,
Some years ago when I was young and just discovering rock and roll, my brother gave me a cassette tape of your greatest hits. I think I regarded it much as one would regard their first plate of escargot or calves' brains... "what is... this? I won't like this..." To my young ears, brought up on country western mostly, your music was an acquired taste, but once I got into it, I got into it and have been a fan since.
Over the years I have opened myself up to all kinds of music, but you were always in the center of it somewhere. Seems that anyone I exposed myself to and fell for turned out to be one of your musician friends, such as Iggy Pop and Lou Reed, or someone who you obviously had influence over.
Some other years ago, sometime between that first cassette and now, I was reading a comic book and found an ad in the back where someone was looking for pen pals. She listed "David Bowie" as one of her interests. I wrote to her and said, "Bowie is a god". We've been close ever since. In fact, the first thing I did when I learned of your passing today was write to her and make sure she was okay. I knew she would take the news as hard as I.
I've lost too many heroes in the last few months. Robin Williams, Bill Cosby (in a sense), Star Wars (in a sense), now you. Your passing hurt the most, but it seems you did it like you did everything - with class and dignity.
These days I'm a writer. Writers like to talk a lot about our influences. Mine are many, from Kurt Vonnegut to Mark Twain and so on. But, I have an incredible array of influences outside the literary world. I never realized how much influence you had on me until today and I started thinking of what you represent to me and seeing that I am much the same way in my approach to writing. Like you, I do my own thing. I don't pay attention to what others are doing and use that as a yard stick for what I should be doing. You were always amazing at embracing other musicians and singers. I try to be the same with my peers. I don't see them as competition, but fellow travelers. Also, like you, I try not to get stuck wearing the same costume too long or writing the same song over and over.
I hope things are nice on the other side and they're being good to you. When I get over there, I hope you don't mind me tagging along with you a while.
Dwayne
Some years ago when I was young and just discovering rock and roll, my brother gave me a cassette tape of your greatest hits. I think I regarded it much as one would regard their first plate of escargot or calves' brains... "what is... this? I won't like this..." To my young ears, brought up on country western mostly, your music was an acquired taste, but once I got into it, I got into it and have been a fan since.
Over the years I have opened myself up to all kinds of music, but you were always in the center of it somewhere. Seems that anyone I exposed myself to and fell for turned out to be one of your musician friends, such as Iggy Pop and Lou Reed, or someone who you obviously had influence over.
Some other years ago, sometime between that first cassette and now, I was reading a comic book and found an ad in the back where someone was looking for pen pals. She listed "David Bowie" as one of her interests. I wrote to her and said, "Bowie is a god". We've been close ever since. In fact, the first thing I did when I learned of your passing today was write to her and make sure she was okay. I knew she would take the news as hard as I.
I've lost too many heroes in the last few months. Robin Williams, Bill Cosby (in a sense), Star Wars (in a sense), now you. Your passing hurt the most, but it seems you did it like you did everything - with class and dignity.
These days I'm a writer. Writers like to talk a lot about our influences. Mine are many, from Kurt Vonnegut to Mark Twain and so on. But, I have an incredible array of influences outside the literary world. I never realized how much influence you had on me until today and I started thinking of what you represent to me and seeing that I am much the same way in my approach to writing. Like you, I do my own thing. I don't pay attention to what others are doing and use that as a yard stick for what I should be doing. You were always amazing at embracing other musicians and singers. I try to be the same with my peers. I don't see them as competition, but fellow travelers. Also, like you, I try not to get stuck wearing the same costume too long or writing the same song over and over.
I hope things are nice on the other side and they're being good to you. When I get over there, I hope you don't mind me tagging along with you a while.
Dwayne
November 11, 2015
A Holiday Red Cup Offer
From now until Christmas, I am offering my book, "Roasted: Stories For Your Coffee Break" at one dollar off. That's $2.99! I've also changed the cover to this limited edition cover with a red coffee cup (instead of the old, boring white). Get yours today!
Or... whenever you have the time.
http://goo.gl/vDjEa6
Or... whenever you have the time.
http://goo.gl/vDjEa6
November 4, 2015
If You Like "Happy Clown Burger"...
Just released a new book called "The Incredibly Toxic Online Reviews of Tempest Moody". If you enjoy "Happy Clown Burger", you might like this one, too.
Tempest Moody is an opinionated and hard to please woman, living in a town notorious for rotten customer service. She gets her revenge by writing scathing online reviews. This is a collection of her best - or worst - for the year 2014.
Amazon does not have the "look inside" activated for this book, yet, so here is a sample of what you will find inside:
EggsAndTricks ChalkLattes
2356 Coward Blvd., Wetwater, Michigan
February 17, 2014
Today I stepped foot in EggsAndTricks ChalkLattes. I never wanted to go there before. I never want to go back. The name of the place is actually “Eccentric Chocolates”, but the owner, Mr. Birdy Badminton, believes it’s more eccentric to put a shingle up with a cryptic name. He doesn’t mind that most folks that stop in believe his establishment is a joke shop, a coffee shop, a breakfast café – anything but a chocolate shop.
It started with Elderoy and Kenyonion coming home and belly aching that they had to go to school when most of their friends didn’t. It turns out most of their friends had belly aches today. It turns out most of their friends ate too much Valentine candy. It turns out their parents bought it for them. It turns out I’m a bad mother for not even thinking of buying chocolate for my sons.
There are two chocolate shops in Wetwater and I had only been to one of them. I went to Sweet Daddy Sweets’ a while back when Bobsquaw bought me a box of chocolate that made me break out in hives and I tried to return it. They had a large amount of pinecone in them and I’m allergic. I spent the refund on some beer and it didn’t make me throw up, so I gave Sweet Daddy Sweets a C-, one of the highest marks I’ve given anyone. But, Sweet Daddy Sweets is closed this month due to it being Black History Month and Sweet Daddy is on vacation somewhere where black history has actually happened. For this inconvenience, I’ll return sometime soon to find a reason to give Sweet Daddy an F.
I had no choice but to go to EggsAndTricks ChalkLattes. I’ve avoided the place because it’s very experimental. They call it eccentric, I call it lunatic. Instead of stuffing their chocolates with the normal crap like nougat, fruit, nuts or more chocolate, they stuff it with “eccentric” things, such as olives, cocktail onions and habanero peppers. And those are the good ideas. A few other edible ideas include, (but not I don’t recommend any of them): ants, crickets, bole weevil larva, raw egg, finch brain and other delicacies from hell. But, these freaks will put chocolate on EVERYTHING! Socket wrenches, mop water, toe jam… they think everything can be a chocolate covered delight.
Oh and they do the same thing with caramels and jellies and other sweet things, too. Want a toilet paper tube full of nougat? They got it. Bumblebee bubble gum? They got it. Complete disregard for taste? They got it.
Like most candy shops, EggsAndTricks ChalkLattes sells vintage candy, too. But, don’t go in there expecting to see your childhood favorites. Instead, you’ll find the junk of playground urban legends and kiddie nightmares. Remember that candy that sizzled in your mouth and most people loved it until some kid had to go to the emergency room with a hole burned through his tongue? It was called Sizzle Stones. It was taken off the market in 1989 but EggsAndTricks ChalkLattes still sells it somehow.
Even if this were a regular candy shop, I would not have been impressed. The dust on the shelves and the product was as thick as Moby Dick. I don’t mean the novel, I mean the whale.
F
http://goo.gl/KMGGjd
Tempest Moody is an opinionated and hard to please woman, living in a town notorious for rotten customer service. She gets her revenge by writing scathing online reviews. This is a collection of her best - or worst - for the year 2014.
Amazon does not have the "look inside" activated for this book, yet, so here is a sample of what you will find inside:
EggsAndTricks ChalkLattes
2356 Coward Blvd., Wetwater, Michigan
February 17, 2014
Today I stepped foot in EggsAndTricks ChalkLattes. I never wanted to go there before. I never want to go back. The name of the place is actually “Eccentric Chocolates”, but the owner, Mr. Birdy Badminton, believes it’s more eccentric to put a shingle up with a cryptic name. He doesn’t mind that most folks that stop in believe his establishment is a joke shop, a coffee shop, a breakfast café – anything but a chocolate shop.
It started with Elderoy and Kenyonion coming home and belly aching that they had to go to school when most of their friends didn’t. It turns out most of their friends had belly aches today. It turns out most of their friends ate too much Valentine candy. It turns out their parents bought it for them. It turns out I’m a bad mother for not even thinking of buying chocolate for my sons.
There are two chocolate shops in Wetwater and I had only been to one of them. I went to Sweet Daddy Sweets’ a while back when Bobsquaw bought me a box of chocolate that made me break out in hives and I tried to return it. They had a large amount of pinecone in them and I’m allergic. I spent the refund on some beer and it didn’t make me throw up, so I gave Sweet Daddy Sweets a C-, one of the highest marks I’ve given anyone. But, Sweet Daddy Sweets is closed this month due to it being Black History Month and Sweet Daddy is on vacation somewhere where black history has actually happened. For this inconvenience, I’ll return sometime soon to find a reason to give Sweet Daddy an F.
I had no choice but to go to EggsAndTricks ChalkLattes. I’ve avoided the place because it’s very experimental. They call it eccentric, I call it lunatic. Instead of stuffing their chocolates with the normal crap like nougat, fruit, nuts or more chocolate, they stuff it with “eccentric” things, such as olives, cocktail onions and habanero peppers. And those are the good ideas. A few other edible ideas include, (but not I don’t recommend any of them): ants, crickets, bole weevil larva, raw egg, finch brain and other delicacies from hell. But, these freaks will put chocolate on EVERYTHING! Socket wrenches, mop water, toe jam… they think everything can be a chocolate covered delight.
Oh and they do the same thing with caramels and jellies and other sweet things, too. Want a toilet paper tube full of nougat? They got it. Bumblebee bubble gum? They got it. Complete disregard for taste? They got it.
Like most candy shops, EggsAndTricks ChalkLattes sells vintage candy, too. But, don’t go in there expecting to see your childhood favorites. Instead, you’ll find the junk of playground urban legends and kiddie nightmares. Remember that candy that sizzled in your mouth and most people loved it until some kid had to go to the emergency room with a hole burned through his tongue? It was called Sizzle Stones. It was taken off the market in 1989 but EggsAndTricks ChalkLattes still sells it somehow.
Even if this were a regular candy shop, I would not have been impressed. The dust on the shelves and the product was as thick as Moby Dick. I don’t mean the novel, I mean the whale.
F
http://goo.gl/KMGGjd
October 23, 2015
TOMORROW!!!!
There's another book blast tomorrow. What that means is thirty or so Indie authors are giving away some of our books. We do this every so often and it's been great so far. I have downloaded and read several really good books and have a pile yet to get to.
I have read all the books Charles Hash is offering and he is not just one of my favorite Indie authors, but one of my favorite authors. Period. If you have not checked him out, yet DO IT! DO IT!
I recently read "The Picture of the Ghost" by M. Ray Holloway, too. I haven't done a review, yet, but when I do, it will get a solid five stars. It's so much more than a ghost story. I love it.
I have read all the books being offered by Ann Livi Andrews and I can tell you she is a solid writer and I look forward to reading more of her work.
I have not read the books being offered by Christina McMullen or V.M. Sawh, but I have read other books of theirs and enjoyed them immensely. As with Ms. Andrews above, I look forward to reading more.
I can't give honest commentary on the writing of the rest of the books offered. I have a number of them, but have not read them yet. I can say I associate with many of them and they're wonderful people and all could use a bit of a break. So, why not? Grab all their books. They're free, after all. And maybe you'll find your new favorite author among them!
www.freebookblast.com
October 17, 2015
Dusty Little Treasures
Greetings all.
The other day I managed to tap into my old journal at Live Journal and rescued a few stray stories I wrote eight years ago or so. I read through them and found them to be just as rotten and deplorable as the tripe I write today.
So, I put them in a volume called "Sarah With The Black Hoodie".
The story of Sarah is a nasty little thing I wrote out of frustration and anger. It could be one of the most bitter and dark things I've ever written - and possibly the funniest. When I was reading it over at a local coffee shop, I drew lots of stares and concerned looks as I could not stop laughing. I am quite funny when I'm being mean. But, hey, it's a raunchy story. I don't recommend it for anyone under 70.
The rest of the book contains a parody of the "Little House" books I wrote for Julie (yes, I am that depraved).
There's some tiny little stories in there that take about a minute to read.
I put one serious short story in there, too, with a bit of a message about - I dunno - childhood or something.
Lastly is the only poem I've ever written that I liked. "The Raven By Dr. Seuss". And no wonder it's good. I was very nearly ripping off two of my favorite poets.
So, yes. I put this thing out there with an ugly cover and tacked a 99 cent price on. It will be fun watching it not sell.
http://goo.gl/yClD8G
The other day I managed to tap into my old journal at Live Journal and rescued a few stray stories I wrote eight years ago or so. I read through them and found them to be just as rotten and deplorable as the tripe I write today.
So, I put them in a volume called "Sarah With The Black Hoodie".
The story of Sarah is a nasty little thing I wrote out of frustration and anger. It could be one of the most bitter and dark things I've ever written - and possibly the funniest. When I was reading it over at a local coffee shop, I drew lots of stares and concerned looks as I could not stop laughing. I am quite funny when I'm being mean. But, hey, it's a raunchy story. I don't recommend it for anyone under 70.
The rest of the book contains a parody of the "Little House" books I wrote for Julie (yes, I am that depraved).
There's some tiny little stories in there that take about a minute to read.
I put one serious short story in there, too, with a bit of a message about - I dunno - childhood or something.
Lastly is the only poem I've ever written that I liked. "The Raven By Dr. Seuss". And no wonder it's good. I was very nearly ripping off two of my favorite poets.
So, yes. I put this thing out there with an ugly cover and tacked a 99 cent price on. It will be fun watching it not sell.
http://goo.gl/yClD8G
