Thomas Whaley's Blog - Posts Tagged "self-awareness"

Over the last several months, I've had amazing & enlightening experiences with dozens of readers attending my Leaving Montana book signings and discussions. I have also enjoyed reading the reviews on Amazon, Goodreads, B&N, and so forth...However, one thing has come up recently that I found so forthright and true that I felt the need to communicate. One reader wrote:

"...as I read Leaving Montana, my intuition kept telling me that it was much more than literary fiction...the emotions were so believable, almost "memoirish"

So, this reader actually asked what so many people have been wondering but were too uncomfortable to ask...always asking questions that ALMOST got there, but dodged what their gut was dying to know.

Leaving Montana, although deemed literary fiction, is based on four decades of true life family turmoil. Autobiographical, in many ways, a memoir easily disguised as literary fiction with the perfect seasoning of assumed dialogue and precise sprinkling of levity to make moments easier to swallow.

So, my question:

Are most compelling works of literary fiction masking real life experiences that the author has self-encountered or witnessed?

Do we, as writers, find it easier to tag a book "litfic" because we still don't want to fully acknowledge what we've experienced?

Are we afraid to be tagged a "victim"?

Today was the very first time a reader/reviewer didn't play dodge-ball with their thoughts. It made me sit back and contemplate a decision I made when it was time to decide what genre Leaving Montanashould fall under.

Call it literary fiction.
Call it memoir.
Call it fictional memoir for all I care! Fact is...if it makes you change your way of thinking or helps you self-reflect, then believe your intuition.
I did.

http://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Montana...

For the last year, I have been blessed to have several wonderful things happen in my life; publishing my first novel, winning the NYS 2nd Grade Teacher of the Year Award and being profiled on NPR's 50 Great Teachers on All Things Considered. Things that I never thought would happen. Things that I am so very grateful for and proud of. Things that I never asked for, but came my way, changing me for the better. But these amazing things have also opened my eyes wider than I would have ever thought possible.

I need to take this time to say THANK YOU to each and every genuine person who took the time to reach out and celebrate these moments of pride with me. My readers, colleagues and friends who realized my journeys and battles to overcome. You understood that my pride was not boastful, but sincere excitement. You saw how happy and unexpected each moment was and took the time to congratulate me and take part in those exciting moments in my life. You took the time to acknowledge these accomplishments with true celebration, rather than ignoring the fact that a simple "Congratulations" goes a long way.

Friendships that are not solely based on Facebook "likes" but rather heartfelt comments, real conversations and personal acknowledgments. For those of you who took the time out of your busy lives to be supportive and kind, I AM SO GRATEFUL!!! You made each exciting moment even more memorable!

Sadly, like most of us, I have learned a lot about myself and people over the course of one year. I have come to realize that some people do not have the ability to feel happy for others, not matter the celebration.

Those who never really have anything nice to say about anyone. The people who always seem to make us feel bad when we are around them...in our most highest of moments...even when we don't know why.

This is just sad...but true colors emerge in times like these. It is our job to realize this and live our own lives celebrating those who matter.

Social media has stripped away true personal connections. Nowadays, personal connections have been replaced with a quick hit of the "like" button. A human accomplishment parallels a picture of someones dinner or a ridiculous video clip from YouTube. Our ability to not like or not comment is exactly the same as being in someone's presence and not being acknowledged.

Funny thing is....THOSE people who treat you poorly in person do the same on social media. So, ask yourself, why the friendships? Why have your timeline cluttered by those who can truly care less?

I truly appreciate those who matter. Now more than ever. But it takes situations like these to open our eyes to our own actions - to not "like" but send a message of "love". To call rather than bypass, to comment rather than ignore.

Celebrate those who take the time to reach out...Those who we can't wait to congratulate when something good happens to them. Those who are happy for your accomplishments rather than burdened by them or feel your not deserving of them.

Donate the phonies to Goodwill.
Put forth your energies to those who truly deserve it.
The dedicated ones.
The real ones.
I know I will.

Closets are too confining...

Children learn from positive role models!

I am SO PROUD to be profiled in the last two issues of Gay Parent Magazine! It is so important for gay teachers to be defined by their character and not what others think they should be.

Be Proud Folks!