I so remember saying 'no backsies!" to my siblings. It was, of course, like waving a red flag in front of a bull. The statement always came with: but I didn't mean to trade! or I was just kidding!
My mom had to finally make a rule in our house that banned the use of the term.

This childhood memory came to me when I uploaded my third self published book. Book one was to say: ha! I did it! The second one was to add to the proof of the first one. The third one, well it's special. Because despite the nagging feeling I still carry, the one that says: who are you kidding! You're a terrible writer, you suck! No one is going to like your work, they're all going to laugh at you (just like in the movie, Carrie) This third book has given me strength to continue. It is my firm statement, my stand, my: no backsies, with myself.

To my shock (and giddy horror) I have people following me, people that I don't know! And they're interacting with me, giving me their thoughts, telling me they like my books. I have an incredible support system and it humbles me daily.

There is no turning back for me. Whether it's good, bad, ugly, or indifferent, my writing is out there. And I am so proud of myself for pushing through the fear and going for my dream.