I never point out skin color to Lu. It’s something people always pointed out to me as a kid, and I remember how much it hurt to realize I wasn’t the same as any of my family. I was a little brown girl in a family of very white people. I never thought about that I until people felt the need to point it out. It felt like they were saying, “you don’t fit here,” and it hurt.

So when Lucy first came to me and said, “Mom, you are black. Daddy is white. I am white,” my heart sank. I wanted to know who taught her that and why. I didn’t want my own daughter to think I didn’t fit with her. It’s been a little over a week of her saying this, and I’m still torn about how to respond. For now, I just smile and tell her that it’s okay that we look different. I’m still her mommy, even in the Summer when my skin is a little darker. And then, I remind myself that I still fit with her. And she with me.

When she is older, I hope I will have taught her how little the color of our skin matters. I hope she learns from me that our hearts are what’s important. And most of all, I hope she learns that she doesn’t have to match people in the outside in order for them to fit perfectly into your heart.