The 5 main reasons why relationships fail...
Breakups sting, don't they? In some cases you may feel relieved that a relationship is over, but in most cases you wonder WHY? Where did we go wrong?
There are 5 main reasons why relationships end and I can guarantee you that if all 5 don't apply to your previous breakup then at least one of them will!
1.) CONTROL! CONTROL! CONTROL! When people get into a relationship they have an idea of who and how they want that person to be. And once they realize they're dating a human being with a mind of their own and not a robot that's just going to do whatever they say, they start trying to manipulate them. They honestly think that they have some magic power that's going to make that person change. What I've discovered is that the more you try to change people the more resistant they become.
Let me ask you a question... why would you want to be with someone you feel you have to change? And why would you try to change someone whom you claim to love and accept for who they are? NEWSFLASH: People can change, but you cannot change people... At least not intentionally. All you can do is express how you feel, but it's up to them to fix the issue. And if they don't you have to learn to live with it or learn to walk away.
2.) PRIDE. Now this is a tough one. When people allow their foolish pride to overshadow how they feel about that person, the relationship is headed downhill. Pride keeps people from expressing how they really feel about the person. Pride keeps people from expressing that they've been hurt by the person. And pride keeps people from apologizing & making things right when they've done the hurting.
Why do people hold on so tight to their pride? It's because they fear being vulnerable. But you have to be vulnerable with your significant other in order to become closer and grow together. You have to risk being hurt for the chance of being loved. If you're not willing to put anything out, nothing can come in.
3.) LACK OF SELF-LOVE. Isn't it sad that many relationships only begin in the first place because of lack of self-love? Because people don't love themselves they depend on another person to love them in order for them to feel complete. The flip side to this is that the relationship may start from a genuine place, but because that person lacks self-love their insecurities take over the relationship and the other person gets so fed up that they call it 'quits'.
You have to have love for self first, before you can give and receive love from others.
4.) NARCISSISM. What exactly do I mean by this? When a person only thinks "ME, ME ME!" & they forget "WE" it leads the other person to believe that they don't care. When you're in a relationship you should always feel like that person is in your corner. They should be your biggest supporter and vice versa. They should be your partner. When that person doesn't take interests in your goals and dreams nor do they try to find ways for you BOTH to grow TOGETHER then that's how you know it's a relationship where you are just there to satisfy them.
5.) MISCOMMUNICATION. & lack of communication is the same thing. You may not always be on the same page in a relationship, but as soon as you recognize this, you need to address it. Or else eventually you won't be on the same chapter or even in the same book! A lot of times when people feel a disconnect in the relationship they ignore it. This is what leads people to cheat either physically or emotionally because they feel they have to go somewhere else to get what they should be getting from their partner. But if that person was upfront with their partner and tried to work through it with their partner then that short period of disconnect will build an even stronger connection.
Don't dwell on previous relationships because what's done is done. Appreciate the lessons you learned & use them to build your next relationship :)
There are 5 main reasons why relationships end and I can guarantee you that if all 5 don't apply to your previous breakup then at least one of them will!
1.) CONTROL! CONTROL! CONTROL! When people get into a relationship they have an idea of who and how they want that person to be. And once they realize they're dating a human being with a mind of their own and not a robot that's just going to do whatever they say, they start trying to manipulate them. They honestly think that they have some magic power that's going to make that person change. What I've discovered is that the more you try to change people the more resistant they become.
Let me ask you a question... why would you want to be with someone you feel you have to change? And why would you try to change someone whom you claim to love and accept for who they are? NEWSFLASH: People can change, but you cannot change people... At least not intentionally. All you can do is express how you feel, but it's up to them to fix the issue. And if they don't you have to learn to live with it or learn to walk away.
2.) PRIDE. Now this is a tough one. When people allow their foolish pride to overshadow how they feel about that person, the relationship is headed downhill. Pride keeps people from expressing how they really feel about the person. Pride keeps people from expressing that they've been hurt by the person. And pride keeps people from apologizing & making things right when they've done the hurting.
Why do people hold on so tight to their pride? It's because they fear being vulnerable. But you have to be vulnerable with your significant other in order to become closer and grow together. You have to risk being hurt for the chance of being loved. If you're not willing to put anything out, nothing can come in.
3.) LACK OF SELF-LOVE. Isn't it sad that many relationships only begin in the first place because of lack of self-love? Because people don't love themselves they depend on another person to love them in order for them to feel complete. The flip side to this is that the relationship may start from a genuine place, but because that person lacks self-love their insecurities take over the relationship and the other person gets so fed up that they call it 'quits'.
You have to have love for self first, before you can give and receive love from others.
4.) NARCISSISM. What exactly do I mean by this? When a person only thinks "ME, ME ME!" & they forget "WE" it leads the other person to believe that they don't care. When you're in a relationship you should always feel like that person is in your corner. They should be your biggest supporter and vice versa. They should be your partner. When that person doesn't take interests in your goals and dreams nor do they try to find ways for you BOTH to grow TOGETHER then that's how you know it's a relationship where you are just there to satisfy them.
5.) MISCOMMUNICATION. & lack of communication is the same thing. You may not always be on the same page in a relationship, but as soon as you recognize this, you need to address it. Or else eventually you won't be on the same chapter or even in the same book! A lot of times when people feel a disconnect in the relationship they ignore it. This is what leads people to cheat either physically or emotionally because they feel they have to go somewhere else to get what they should be getting from their partner. But if that person was upfront with their partner and tried to work through it with their partner then that short period of disconnect will build an even stronger connection.
Don't dwell on previous relationships because what's done is done. Appreciate the lessons you learned & use them to build your next relationship :)
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